When Everything's Made To Be Broken
by Gothic-Girl82
Summary: Hermione faces the most difficult year of her life and Snape's involvement manages to complicate it still further. This story is abandoned for the time being.
1. Default Chapter

Severus sighed inwardly as 'He Who Must Not Be Named,' (or 'Pretentious Git Who Just Won't Bloody Die' as Severus was privately naming him that evening) started on about Harry Potter again. If Severus didn't know better, he'd think the Dark Lord had a bit of a thing for the Potter boy, the way he went on and on and on about him. He smirked inwardly, thinking of Potter's face if he suggested something like that to him. It almost cheered him up. Almost.

Tonight was the night when all of Voldemorts new 'recruits' learned what they had to do to prove themselves to their master; to prove that they loved and feared Voldemort above all else. They wouldn't come to understand exactly what this meant for another year, if they got that far, but this was the night where it started.

Voldemort, the snake-like man sitting on the throne in the center of the circle, was in his element in all the pomp and circumstance, which was all centered around him. God, he was ugly. He somehow managed to look more and more snake-like every time Severus saw him. And Severus saw him about once a month. He had seen the Snake Snogger at least once a month since his 'resurrection' three years earlier, where Severus had had to pretend to come back to his side and be his loyal servant.

"And how time flew," he thought, bitterly.

Severus looked out of the corner of his eye at the three masked figures standing next to Voldemort's throne. They were standing, waiting to be acknowledged by their future 'master'. Waiting for the terms of the test that would, if they passed it, lead to glory and greatness.

"That's a bloody laugh," he thought, trying to work out which of the boys was Draco Malfoy.

Draco was among them, Severus knew, because Draco had asked Severus what to expect as he was about to start the year-long process that would ultimately end in him becoming one of Voldemort's minions. If he passed all the tests he was about to face that is, and not many did.

All he could say to Draco was, "Pain. Expect pain," as he strode off, wanting to stop Malfoy from getting into the same eternal trap that he had so many years ago, but knowing that to do so would just give away the fact that he was a spy and wouldn't stop Malfoy from joining the Dark Lord. It would just end up in him being 'Crucioed' to death, and that was if he was lucky.

Severus eyed the throne his 'master' was perched upon. It was silver, made from hundreds of thousands of entwined silver snakes, which seemed to be slithering over each other, making the chair look almost liquid. The seat and back were covered in a dark green velvet and snakes heads jutted out from every angle, their eyes glinting with emeralds and little silver forked tongues darting out here and there.

A bloody throne for Merlin's sake! Maybe he's compensating for something? Maybe his whole dark reign has been all because he's just not very well endowed...Sort of like buying a big, shiny, red sports car, if the big, shiny, red sports car was, well, the world, and Voldemort was trying conquer it.

Severus knew his random thoughts were just him trying desperately to push the images to the back of his mind. Not the images of the thing Voldemort may be compensating for (although that would have been awful enough), but the images of the night he was made a Death Eater and was forced to prove his obedience and loyalty to the barely human creature in front of him.

He felt bile at the back of his throat and swallowed it down. It was like this every year. Every year it reminded him of the night he pledged allegiance to the Dark Lord, and how on that very same night he had had his first stirrings of real regret. It wasn't until a year later that the stirrings had turned into full-blown horror of what he had got himself into. But by then it was too late.

He had wanted to run to Dumbledore that night, but had changed his mind at the last minute, knowing that he had gone too far to go back now. It had taken him a year and eight months of doing Voldemort's bidding. A year and eight months to finally see that what he was doing to other people was worse than anything that could ever happen to him, any punishment or pain he would have to endure from either Voldemort, or Dumbledore.

The night he'd gone to Dumbledore, he had wanted to be punished. He half yearned for the Dementor's kiss, needing some sort of punishment for the awful things he'd done and seen. And all Dumbledore had given him was understanding. Understanding that he knew he hadn't deserved and he knew he didn't want. He had cried that night, for only the second time in his life. And Dumbledore had held him, not speaking at all, just holding him.

He blinked to clear his mind, knowing that with Voldemort near, he should be guarding his thoughts against sudden intrusion, in case Voldemort had a sudden urge to read his mind. He did that a lot – you would be standing there quietly, happily minding your own business... and suddenly you felt the red-hot burning in your head. His mind pushing down into your mind. You could almost feel his fingers poking around in your brain. Then suddenly he'd withdraw and you were left feeling sore and tired and split open.

Severus had been studying the rare art of Occlumency since he was ten. He had gone to bed one night and had found a book of it under his pillow. He didn't know if it was his mother or his sister's doing; both had just witnessed a particularly vicious beating of his that evening; but he had studied the book night after night and when he knew it inside out, he found more books and studied them. By the time he was twelve, his father could no-longer read his thoughts and Severus didn't know if that just made his father more violent; punishing him for what he might be thinking.

At sixteen, he was not only a master of keeping people out of his thoughts, he was also amazing at the opposite, Legilimency. If he hadn't already hated James Potter and Sirius Black before, then once he read their minds he had despised them. Remus Lupin had kept them from making most of their most vicious comments to Severus, but he couldn't stop them thinking them.

Severus jumped as Voldemort clapped his slimy looking hands. "God, what's wrong with me tonight? I'll get myself killed if I don't start concentrating". But God, he was tired. It was midnight and he'd not slept well the night before, mind you, he never slept well at this time of year. And to add to it, he had the rest of the seventh year's lesson plan to sort out. It didn't need changing every year, but he liked to tailor it to the specific group he was teaching. At least he didn't have Neville Longbottom in his class this year – strangely enough, he'd opted out of taking his Potions NEWT.

"I wonder if Voldemort has ever actually had a job?" The random thought came to him, as he tried to focus on what the deformed and demented man before him was saying.

He jumped again as Voldemort turned his glower onto him for a second, reminding Severus that exhaustion wasn't an excuse for getting complacent. His life and the lives of many others depended on him. He looked Voldemort straight in the eye and started listening properly, as the new 'recruits' were ordered forward.

This year there were only three recruits and two of them had never attended Hogwarts, so Severus had no idea who they were. Severus tried not to feel for the platinum blonde boy, standing there, his back straight, no doubt very proud of what he was about to do. He was too young to know what he was getting into; too young, and too desperate to please his father for it to even occur to him that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

Severus had tried every subtle way he could to get Draco to think about what he was about to do, but it was blatantly obvious that he didn't stand a chance against Lucius and his friends.

Voldemort chose that moment to acknowledge their presence by he raising his wand and aiming it at them. All three of them flinched and one of them raised their arm up and cowered.

"Silly move," Severus thought, inwardly wincing for the young man or woman who had been stupid enough to show weakness in front of this insane man with far too much power. He would pay for that at some point in the future.

With a hissed word from Voldemort, their brand new Death Eater's masks flew off to reveal three boys looking petrified, especially the tall, thin boy on the end, who had dared to cower.

"You are not worthy of these masks yet," Voldemort almost hissed at them. "You have but a year to prove yourselves to me. In the course of that year, you will complete a task for me. Your last task will be revealed to you on the night of your initiation in a years time."

He was in his element, all pompous and threatening, acting like he was God. Although, Severus supposed, he does keep refusing to die... and it would explain why my life is so bloody dire. Sod God being a woman, God is a slimy, sadistic snake-man, with a very small penis.

"Your task is an easy one," he hissed, loving the fact that the boys were hanging onto his every word, terrified he'd use one of them as an example and Crucio them.

"You are to choose a Muggle-born or half-blood witch and use whatever way you see fit to turn them and bring them to our side," he said, his black eyes glinting in the semi-darkness. "The more... inventive the persuading, the more pleased I will be with your efforts."

Severus remembered the year he had joined, and remembered the broken, sobbing Mudbloods that had cowered at Voldemort's feet. That year, the new recruits had been especially depraved and the women and men that had been 'turned' had barely been aware of the fact that they were alive, let alone that they were about to be used for a fate worse than death.

All the 'recruits' had to do, was make their protégé sign a scroll in blood, giving their bodies and souls to Voldemort. Most did this out of fear, or because they'd been convinced that no one else in the world would love them, or care for them. The future Death Eaters had made most of these people's lives so unbearable that they didn't care any more.

"You are to write the name of the Mudblood on this scroll," Voldemort interrupted his thoughts and indicated the scroll that Peter Pettigrew was clutching in his silver hand. "There will be other tasks during this twelve month period, but exactly twelve months from now, should you have completed this task, the girls will be yours to use as you wish, until I decide to dispose of them. Then on that night, you will perform your final task and prove whether or not you are worthy of my favour."

The three boys looked relieved. Draco actually grinned. Severus's stomach turned over, seeing how much the older Malfoy had rubbed off on his son and how much Draco wanted this, whatever the reasons behind it.

"Should you fail, however," Voldemort said, half grinning at Draco's happy expression. "This will happen to you... Step forward Peterson."

Peterson was one of last year's recruits. There had been five of them – three of them had managed their task, one had committed suicide, no doubt coming to his senses enough to know it was better to die than either join, or cross Lord Voldemort, and the last was Peterson.

Peterson was pale and shaking, his eyes hollow and his teeth chattering. Severus stared straight ahead, trying to clear his mind and distance himself a little.

"You were to turn Amanda Flower, were you not?" he hissed at the man standing in front of him. "A pathetic little Mudblood! Twelve months to break her, turn her and bring her to me... and you FAILED!"

The last word came out as a screech and Peterson fell to his knees. "No, please! No!" he sobbed, as Voldemort stood and pointed his wand at the boy's chest. "I'll do better! I'll try again! Please!"

"Crucio," Voldemort said, in an almost bored voice. He twiddled his wand, as if oblivious to the screaming and choking of the man on the floor. He was only nineteen and had looked so sure of himself the day he had come to join the Death Eaters. He'd stood there in front of Voldemort and told him he was honoured to be given the chance to become his slave. Now he was lying in a pool of blood, vomit and urine, screaming. Funny how these things turned out.

Severus had seen this so many times before, but each time was different, each time the victim reacted in a slightly different way. Different people took different amounts of time to eventually rupture something, which would ultimately result in death. Some people screamed and others clawed at their skin and eyes. Either way, Severus had to grit his teeth and stare straight ahead, trying to resist the urge to rescue the boy and blow his cover as one of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters.

When Severus had asked Dumbledore to punish him, he hadn't known that despite Dumbledore wanting to save him from his hell, he would condemn him to a life of torture and punishment, having to watch and participate in the sick games he had long ago grown to despise.

He had spent the longest three years of his life spying for Dumbledore, having to pretend every day that he was loyal to Voldemort, and was enjoying it. Then when Harry Potter had somehow reduced Voldemort to less than nothing, it had stopped. But the pain had never stopped, and now he was doing it again – pretending to be someone he wasn't sure he had ever been. Three more years of spying and pretending. He was exhausted.

When Severus uncleared his mind again, Peterson was lying on the floor, barely breathing. The Crucio had been stopped, as Voldemort was observing what names his new recruits were writing on the parchment. No hospital, whether Muggle or Wizarding, would ever be able to save this boy. Yet he was still breathing. Still alive. Still feeling every bit of pain the Crucio had inflicted on him. Severus prayed he was at least unconscious, that he would be allowed that small mercy.

His attention turned to Draco and his father, standing by Pettigrew, as he proudly held the scroll as the boys each cut their arms with the silver-handled knife provided and dipped their quills into their blood. Symbolic, but poncy, Severus thought, as he watched, waiting to be 'dismissed' by Voldemort.

Draco and his father were laughing as the boy cut himself, barely flinching and wrote a name on the paper.

"Can we, dad? Can we?" Draco was pleading with his dad, like a child who wanted desperately to go to the sweet shop.

"You will have to ask Our Lord," Lucius said, in his usual smarmy way, half bowing to Voldemort.

"What does your boy wish to do?" Voldemort said, sounding almost pleased. It had been a long time since he'd seen someone as eager as Malfoy Junior. Draco would suffer for it later, Severus knew, but Voldemort would see how far he could push him first.

"He wishes to go and find the Mudblood now," Lucius explained, shaking his head and smiling, as if Draco was an impetuous child, throwing a tantrum for a new toy. "He wishes to stage an anonymous kidnapping, which will break the Mudblood before she even starts the school year. He wishes to... use her body."

Severus felt sick for the third time that night.

"Your boy has potential, Lucius," Voldemort said, using Malfoy Senior's first name, which was a rare honour for any of his Death Eaters. "A couple of weeks at your tender mercy, Draco and she'll be begging for our comfort and understanding..."

Voldemort's last few words were sneering and he was grinning that evil grin again. "Go and get Granger, but make sure she does not know it is you. Obliviate her if you must. But first, you will enjoy the ceremony."

"Granger?" Severus's heart started thundering in his chest. "Hermione Granger? Clear your mind, clear your mind... Don't think about it. You can't put everything at risk just because you know the girl they're planning to torture and rape."

Severus closed his eyes, then opened them, looking around surreptitiously for a way to get away for a moment. He needed to get word to Dumbledore before the Malfoys could get to Hermione, so she could be hidden, fast. Trust Draco Malfoy to choose someone like Hermione to turn. Someone who would be almost impossible, but with his father's help, breakable. Hermione would be a big prize for Voldemort and would make Draco 'teacher's pet' for some time.

Severus knew everyone would be stuck here until Voldemort had initiated last years recruits, which could take minutes or hours, depending on the tasks they were given and how quickly they achieved them. He needed to get away before Lucius and Draco did.

Thinking quickly, Severus walked over to where Voldemort was standing with Lucius and Draco, and he dropped to his knees at Voldemort's feet.

"My Lord," he said, kissing the hem of his robes then rising to his feet.

He kept his head bent as a sign of respect, which had the added bonus that he didn't have to actually look at the odious man in front of him, and said, "I must beg for your understanding and benevolence, My Lord. The protective charms I have used to guard my quarters against intruders have been triggered. There is a chance that it may be the Headmaster coming to ramble on about some nonsense and I do not want to raise suspicions as to my whereabouts. If I could leave your presence...?"

"Snape!" Voldemort hissed, turning a red-eyed glare on Severus. "How dare you ask to leave our presence so early!"

"If I may, My Lord," Lucius said, bowing his head as he spoke to the furious half-man next to him. "Severus has never been very good at stomaching our joining ceremonies... Maybe he feels the need to miss this one?"

Severus gave Malfoy as good a look of distain as he could manage through the heavy Death Eater's mask he wore.

"On the contrary, Lucius, I have always enjoyed these ceremonies, although admittedly never as much as you. But then, you do have a huge appreciation for pain and torture, as I recall."

Lucius smirked and Severus turned back to his pissed off looking master, wondering if he was about to be Crucioed for his efforts.

Was Hermione really worth this?

"My Lord, I have never left the Joining Ceremony before and I would not ask unless I felt it was of the utmost importance. I fear the bumbling headmaster is already suspicious enough of my disappearances..."

Another mention of Dumbledore made Voldemort flinch again and Severus tried not to feel some pleasure in that. He tried not to feel anything at all, emptying his mind in case Voldemort suddenly decided to have a rummage around.

"I grow weary of the sight of you," Voldemort said, in a bored voice, turning away from Severus.

"Leave!" he said, flicking his scaly hand in a dismissive gesture, as he walked to his throne and slowly lowered himself onto it.

Severus walked a few steps away from the ring of Death Eaters, ignoring Lucius's gaze following him, as he got ready to Apparate.

Lucius lifted a hand in a sarcastic farewell and Severus Apparated, before he was forced to use one of the unforgivables on Lucius himself. Annoying prat.

The second he felt his feet hit the ground just outside the grounds of Hogwarts, he hitched up his robes and started running, not caring who might see him. It was late anyway and two weeks from being term time, so the chances of anyone seeing their Potion Master looking like a complete twit was unlikely. It was much more likely that he'd scare a passing Ghost, or Hagrid on the hunt for one of his lost 'pets.'

It took a good ten minutes for Severus to get to the school and he cursed the fact that he couldn't Apparate directly onto Hogwarts grounds for the hundredth time since he had started teaching there.

When he arrived in the Great Hall, he was completely out of breath and barely noticed when he barged into someone.

"Minerva! Where's Albus?" he managed to gasp as he recognized the professor he'd nearly flattened.

"Severus? What's happened?" Minerva McGonagall asked, slightly disturbed by the sight of the Potions Master so flustered, his hair everywhere and his face pink.

"Where is Albus?" He snarled, annoyed having to ask again.

"He's away somewhere, visiting a friend," she said, in an annoyingly concerned tone of voice. "Is there anything I can do to..."

He'd already started running. He got to the headmaster's gargoyle and frantically shouted any sweet he could think of at it. At one of them, he had no idea which one, it swung open, revealing the stone staircase leading to Dumbledore's room.

Should really talk to the headmaster about being less predictable... he thought as he leapt up the stairs two at a time, his wand out, shouting "Acio address book!"

A giant black and gold book, it's pages yellowed and old flew through the air towards him at full pelt. He ducked and managed to grab it just before it hit the wall behind him. He started flicking through it, frantically.

Hermione's address was filed under H, rather than G, for Granger. Severus only discovered this after searching through hundreds of 'G's without finding a single Granger. He quietly cursed the headmaster for being so bloody awkward, then cursed Hermione for not being connected to the Floo Network.

He hitched his robes up once more and started running back towards the grounds, so he could Apparate to her house, cursing Dumbledore yet again. He desperately hoped that Voldemort was having one of his 'look at me, aren't I great' days, so he'd keep Lucius and Draco for long enough for him to get Hermione and her family to safety.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione had only been asleep for about half an hour when she heard a crash coming from downstairs, followed by someone muttering and swearing. She sat up and reached for her wand, which even in the holidays she kept under her pillow. You could never be too careful with Mouldymort and his cronies back and after blood of any kind. Mostly her kind.

She climbed out of bed, nearly falling over the pile of books she'd been flicking through before she fell asleep. This was going to be her last year at Hogwarts and she wanted it to be her very best. God, she was going to miss that place.

Hermione felt around in the darkness for her dressing gown, not wanting to draw attention to herself by casting 'Lumos'. She was wearing a tiny nightie that Ron had given to her last year as a valentine's day present. It was a silky deep red, with tiny red pearls as straps. Ron had blushed all the way to his ears and muttered that his sister had talked him into buying it for her, but she had loved it – the rest of her clothes being more functional than beautiful.

She was on the floor, still feeling for that wretched dressing gown, when her door was pushed silently open. She stifled a scream and froze, hoping that it was far too dark for whoever it was to see her. If she'd been 100 sure it wasn't one of her parents, she'd have pointed her wand in the direction of the door and cursed, but she couldn't risk hurting one of them. Maybe Draco had been right, when he'd sneered to her last year that to love was to be weak.

Whoever had opened her door was moving about her room, feeling for her bed. She heard them fall over her pile of books and grinned triumphantly into the darkness. Her studying was paying off already.

As the figure tripped, it let out a muffled curse.

"Professor... Snape?!" Hermione asked, sitting up, startled.

"Yes."

He didn't say anything else, but walked over to where her voice had come from. She got up as he came over and touched his arm to let him know he'd managed to get to her.

"Are you a dream?" she asked, sounding a little dazed.

"Miss Granger, I assure you I am very real. I can pinch you later, but right now your life is in danger. Yet again," he added, as an afterthought. "And I have no wish to ever, under any circumstances know about your night time fantasies."

Hermione gaped at him in the darkness, for once at a loss for words.

"And after all this is over," he added. "I would like to discuss with you, why danger seems to follow you around. Are you suicidal, Miss Granger, or just plain stupid? Some of the scrapes you get yourself into..."

Scrapes?! How old was she – six?

"What have I done this time?" she snapped back, finding her voice. After all, this was her bedroom, not his freezing cold, miserable dungeon where he was allowed to scare them all witless.

"Upset Draco, apparently," Severus said, almost to himself. "Now, I need to hide you. Where are your parents?"

Only the fact that Dumbledore trusted Professor Snape implicitly made Hermione admit the truth: her parents were away having a brief holiday in Whitby, while she and Crookshanks looked after the house.

There was another crash downstairs, followed by a very distinctive, "Fuck!"

"Draco Malfoy?"

Hermione turned to Severus with a bewildered look on her face, before turning away in annoyance when she realized that he couldn't see it.

"What's going on?" she asked him, trying very hard not to sound as irritated as she felt.

"This is neither the time, nor the place, Miss Granger," he replied in a harsh whisper. "All I can tell you is that if we are found, the consequences are not those that either of us will want to live with. I can't Apparate us away, because Lucius can follow my trail. Our only option is to hide. Is there anywhere?"

Severus couldn't for the life of him see why he'd chosen to come. All that he'd succeeded in doing was making sure that if Hermione got captured, he'd get caught with her. He sighed in frustration. If it had been anyone but Hermione, he'd probably have been thinking more clearly, but he'd developed a sort of... liking for the girl, even if he would never admit it to her. He barely even admitted it to himself. Her quick mind was one that he'd miss if it disappeared from his classes.

"Her mind almost made up for the minds belonging to people like Longbottom," he mused.

Severus jumped as Hermione reached for his hand. He started to pull it away instinctively, but he noticed she was surprisingly strong and she kept a firm hold, pulling him towards the door as slowly and as quietly as she could. Both were aware that Draco and however many people he'd brought with him could be anywhere in the house by now.

They both strained their ears, wondering where the Malfoys were. Surely they'd have come upstairs by now? Hermione heard a stair creak. The fifth stair from the top, she realised. In total darkness, she pulled her professor along the hallway and into another room. Her parents' room. She gently pushed the door closed and dropped Severus' hand.

Working quickly and quietly, she felt along the wall, behind her parents' bed. Severus watched the door quietly, straining his eyes and ears and thanking God (even if Voldemort really was that God) that there was no moon that night, because if there was they would surely have been seen by now.

There was a sound coming from the room they had just vacated. Severus listened intently and could hear people feeling about the room, probably looking for Hermione, assuming she'd be asleep in bed. Obviously Draco was wanting to find Hermione asleep and take her without a fight, which was probably a clever move because given Hermione's aptitude for anything magical, Draco would certainly have lost the fight. Lucius however, was another matter.

It wasn't that Severus didn't think himself able to match and probably better Lucius in a fight, it was the fact that in doing so, he would have run a very high risk of one of Malfoy's troops escaping and it getting back to He Who Is Very Grumpy When Crossed that he was batting for Dumbledore's team.

"Oh, the images..."

"Alohomora!" Hermione whispered. But it was too loud. A sudden noise from the room next door told that she had been heard.

"Fuck," she said, and Severus raised his eyebrows in the darkness.

She grabbed his hand again and felt along the wall, looking for the opening that her Alohomora spell had just uncovered. She pulled him onto the bed and then pulled him up to make him climb over it. They both dropped over the headboard, trying to be as quiet as possible and they landed in another room.

Hermione pushed Severus further into the room, not able to see his incredulous look at being treated in such an offhand manner.

"Reparo!" she whispered. The wallpaper Severus guessed had been covering the door she had led them through was suddenly intact. It wouldn't stop anyone getting in, but at least they wouldn't be able to see where the door was.

Severus and Hermione pushed the door shut together as gently as possible, and both started working every charm they knew to lock it.

At one whispered charm that Hermione had never heard of before, she touched Severus' shoulder, making him jump.

"If we get out of this, you're teaching me that one," she whispered in his ear, her hot breath against his neck making him shiver. He glowered at her in the darkness and carried on with the locking and protection charms.

When they both had done everything they could do, they backed away from the door, as if trying to get as far away from the intruders as possible.

Severus felt around with his long, perceptive fingers. The room was small. About half as large again as your average wardrobe.

"Where the hell are we?" he thought.

Hermione's breathing was speeding up, until she was almost panting. He cringed, hoping to Merlin that they couldn't hear her in the other room. What was wrong?

He felt for her in the dark and she backed away, fast, as far as she could get from him, which admittedly wasn't far. Was someone cursing her?

He daren't light up the room in case someone saw, so he felt for Hermione until he found her, which didn't take long given the size of the room. She was curled up in a ball, pressed against the wall. Her breathing was coming in gasps and she was shaking. He felt for her hands and realized her nails were digging into her palms. She'd drawn blood – he could feel it pooling in her palms.

"Hermione's claustrophobic? Bloody Gryffindors – it was always something like this that was their downfall. She'll face Voldemort without flinching and even look him in the eye when he was ranting at her, but stick her in a small room and she was a wreck."

With Harry, Severus had found out during one of their Occulemency lessons, it was worms. An odd thing to be afraid of, admittedly. Maybe it was something to do with Voldemort? Maybe instead of reminding Harry of a snake...? Maybe he should mention that to Voldemort at their next gathering. That'd be fun. "Master, I think Harry Potter associates you with worms. Maybe it's time for a make-over? Maybe something less... wormy?"

With Ron it was spiders and with the youngest Weasley, it was fish. No one in that family had ever been particularly sane. Whatever happened to that Gryffindor courage they had all been picked for?

Severus quietly dropped to his knees and put his arms around Hermione. He held the shaking girl gently in his arms for a moment, before he squeezed in beside her and sat on the floor next to her. There was only just enough room.

He awkwardly pulled her into his arms and half onto his lap, knowing that touching her and holding her was the only way she might just calm down before she got them both killed. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he stiffened in surprise as she breathed deeply into his neck, trying to calm down.

A sudden noise seemed to come from the room they were in. Hermione jumped and clung harder. Only years of not reacting outwardly to anything at all stopped Severus from jumping too. They must have realised no one was there and opted for trashing her house instead, Severus realized as he heard more banging and crashing.

Hermione wriggled so that her legs were at either side of his. She could get closer that way. She could cling better and everything would be okay. If she could just melt into his body, she'd be able to breathe again.

"God, his hair is soft," she thought, as it brushed against her cheek. "It doesn't look like it should be this soft. And it smells of... I don't know... spices and wood."

She nuzzled into his neck, temporarily relieved of her extreme claustrophobia by the shock of Professor Snape smelling and feeling so... good.

He was holding her stiffly in his arms and she longed for him to just relax and hold her. She lifted up a hand and tentatively touched his cheek.

"Relax..." she whispered.

"That's bloody rich," he thought. "Crucio would be more relaxing than this."

He deliberately relaxed his arms.

Hermione wrapped her arms around his back and tried not to let herself register that it was Professor Snape who was holding her close and making her feel safe and... something else.

She wriggled in his lap, getting into a comfier position, her breasts pressing warm and firm against his chest. Severus raised his eyes heavenwards and cursed Lucius for putting him in this position. He hoped to Merlin that he wouldn't embarrass himself, knowing he wouldn't be able to prevent it if she kept bloody wriggling like that.

Her head rested against his chest and he slowly lifted his hand to her hair. When he had first seen her, it had been a bushy mess. Now it was almost waist-length and a gorgeous mass of unruly waves and curls. He let his fingers run through it – it felt like silk.

She sighed, almost imperceptibly at his touch, which made him start stroking her hair more confidently. The sat like that for so long, they both lost count of time. Hermione's arms were wrapped around him, her hot breath against his neck and he was holding her, while stroking her hair gently, sending shivers down her spine with every touch.

She didn't want to move, didn't care why they were there, she just wanted to be held by him. My God, she was being held by Professor Snape, the man who had hated her from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

Yet he'd come to her rescue tonight and now his amazingly skilled hands were stroking her hair, moving to knead her scalp and brush against the side of her neck. God, it felt good...

She shivered noticeably against him and froze for a second, wondering whether he'd stop. He brushed his fingers against her neck again and she shivered again, holding onto him more tightly. She suddenly became even more aware of her attire and silently cursed Ron.

"I bet Ron didn't think that Professor Snape would be seeing me in this before he did..." she thought, with an almost wicked grin. "Although technically, he's feeling it, as opposed to seeing it."

Severus had realised the moment he'd pulled her into his arms that she was wearing barely anything, and it was probably that fact that was making his fingers 'accidentally' brush against her earlobe and neck so often.

Okay, she was Hermione Granger, that annoying girl who always stuck her hand up in class and kept helping Longbottom instead of concentrating on her own work. But he would have been blind if he hadn't noticed how beautiful she'd become. Which was funny, because he'd never really noticed any of the other girls in her year in the same way.

All thoughts suddenly left his mind, as Hermione wriggled again. He bit back a groan.

"Miss Granger," Severus said, in a barely audible whisper, "You wriggling like that is not helping this situation. Contrary to popular belief, I am human."

Hermione froze, understanding his meaning.

"Do you think they've gone?" she whispered against his ear, making him bite back another groan as her breath tickled his ear.

Severus wasn't sure he cared anymore, he just had to move away from Hermione, before he did something they'd both regret and Dumbledore would kill him for. Dumbledore had always had a soft spot for Hermione.

He gently pushed her off his lap, both of them jumping briefly when his hand touched her bare thigh. Hermione mentally cursed Ron yet again.

They both scrambled to their feet, Severus with a little more grace than Hermione. They both listened intently at the door. Severus knew he shouldn't trust that he couldn't hear anything suspicious, because he'd known Lucius to lie in wait for hours for his victims in the past.

"Stay here," he ordered, breaking all the charms with a wave of his arm and pushing the door open.

"I'm impressed," Hermione murmured in his ear, making him jump.

"I thought I told you to stay there," he snarled, his voice intimidating even in a whisper.

"You did, yes," Hermione said, not moving from his side.

Severus sighed and made his way carefully out of the bedroom room. He cast a locator spell, which shot out of his wand in a flash of blue light and disappeared down the stairs. Hermione watched, impressed again as the little blue light zipped into every room and every nook and cranny, looking for anyone still left in the house.

When the light returned, still blue, Severus finally relaxed a little. It was only then that he realized he could smell something; something horribly familiar.


	3. Chapter 3

"Go back into your parents room, Miss Granger," Severus said, realizing the smell was coming from Hermione's own room.

"But..."

"Now!" He bellowed at her, making her jump.

She backed into her parents room again and Severus almost felt a surge of satisfaction at the fact that she'd finally treated him with at least a little bit of fear and respect.

"It would take a bloody long time and a lot of terrifying and point deducting for him to recover from the cuddling in the cupboard room," he decided.

He turned on the light, and grimaced at the sight in front of him. Hermione's room was wrecked and on the wall, written in blood was:

"You can't hide forever, Mudblood."

But that wasn't what had made Severus grimace; it was the mess on the bed that had got to him.

That irritating cat had been the bane of Filch's life, always chasing Mrs Norris on its bandy legs and Severus had almost liked it for that. And now it was lying, a mass of fur and blood on the bed, barely recognizable as the animal it once was.

Severus was casting a couple of spells to test for a pulse without having to actually get blood on his hands, when he was pushed aside and Hermione went flying into the room. She picked up the mess on her bed, muttering to herself and rocking with it.

"He's dead, Miss Granger," Severus said, stating the obvious, but not knowing quite what to say.

Why hadn't she listened to him and just stayed in the other room? He could have cleared everything up and then broken it to her gently. Or maybe got Dumbledore to break it to her gently. He knew how attached she had been to that weird looking, temperamental cat. It had been Severus himself who had stopped Filch from poisoning it last year.

Hermione was still on the bed, rocking and stroking the blood covered fur. She wasn't crying, but Severus knew never to take that as a good sign. It was usually the people who didn't cry who fell apart completely once they were alone.

He stood, watching her, feeling completely helpless. He hated feeling helpless.

"Miss Granger, would you like me to give you a few minutes?" He didn't want to leave her alone, but he thought she might need some time to take everything in.

He was turning around, leaving the room, taking her silence as a 'yes' when she finally spoke.

"Professor Snape?" she asked.

He turned around slowly. "Yes?"

"What happened?"

He figured she wasn't completely stupid, so wasn't asking what had happened to Crookshanks, but more what had happened full stop; why he had turned up in her bedroom in the middle of the night and why they had had to hide.

"This isn't the time, or the place, Miss Granger," Severus said, moving towards her. "We need to get you out of here first."

Hermione rose to her feet, still clutching the mangled form of her beloved cat to her chest.

"I have to burry Crookshanks," she said, brushing past him and going downstairs. He stood there for a second, his eyes closed in frustration, then followed her.

She had wandered into the back garden, still wearing that bloody ridiculous nightwear of hers and was scrabbling in the dirt. Digging a hole, he supposed.

"How long have you been a witch, Miss Granger?" he said, taking hold of both her muddy hands and pulling her to her feet. "You are still a Muggle at heart, aren't you? Always doing things the hard way."

He let go of her hands and waved his wand. A hole appeared where she had been digging. Hermione didn't acknowledge his presence, but scooped up the body of her dead pet and put him gently in the hole.

Severus waved his wand and the hole filled in again. Hermione stood staring at the patch of freshly dug earth for a second, then looked up at Severus, hatred flaming in her eyes.

"If you don't tell me what's going on, I will kill you," she said, quietly, looking straight into his eyes, her wand clutched in her right hand.

"Now where had that come from?" Severus wondered, eyeing her wand. He was sure she hadn't had that with her before. 

Severus stared at her and was hit with the completely inappropriate urge to laugh. Hermione Granger, the Know-it-all of the school was standing in a tiny silk night thing, which was bloody see-through in the streetlights and she was threatening to kill him, and meant it. It was surreal. She barely even looked him in the eye in class, but now she was staring him down and was almost, not quite, but almost intimidating him.

Was she even wearing knickers? He tried not to stare too closely.

"As... amusing... as the prospect of you trying to kill me is, I think we should get you sorted out first. Have you looked at yourself? You need to get cleaned up and then I will take you somewhere safe. Then you can threaten me all you want."

Hermione looked down at herself. She and the beautiful nightie that had been so precious to her, was covered in Crookshanks' blood. Even her hair seemed to be matted with it.

"Oh God," she whispered, looking at her hands. Her legs gave way and she fell to the ground in a heap.

Severus lifted her into his arms. She was surprisingly light, he noticed, as he carried her up the stairs. He pushed all the doors open, taking in the mayhem the Malfoys had caused as he tried to locate the bathroom.

After minutes of searching he finally found it and lowered her to the bathroom floor. He wanted to put her down to run her a bath, but Hermione clung to him.

"Not here," she whispered into his neck. "I don't want to be alone here."

"Miss Granger, short of me getting into the bath with you..."

She raised an eyebrow at him, almost looking like herself for a second.

"Can you just stay in here with me?" Her voice was pleading and he closed his eyes for a second, praying for a bolt of lightning to come and strike him, to get him out of this situation.

"That is hardly appropriate, is it?" he asked, finally managing to untangle her arms from his neck. "I'll just be outside the door. There's no reason to be scared anymore – they won't come back tonight, and I'm here if they do."

"I don't see what the problem is, professor," Hermione said in a slightly more confident voice. "You're hardly going to be overcome with lust over one of your students taking a bath, are you? And... I need you to stay. Please."

Her voice had got quieter and quieter as she spoke, until she was almost whispering.

Severus groaned under his breath. Did this girl think he was made of stone?

"Apparently she does..." he thought, as she stripped off the sticky nightie and stood in front of him, completely naked. Bending over to turn the taps on to run her bath, she was an amazing sight.

"I'm so going to Azkhaban for this..." he muttered under his breath. 

"Can you be left long enough for me to find you some clothes?" Severus said, speaking to a point above Hermione's head, as she lifted her leg to climb into the large white porcelain bath that was full of hot, soapy water.

His eyes drifted down and his breath caught in his throat as he caught a glimpse of her breasts, smooth and creamy. God, he wanted to touch her, taste her...

His eyes met Hermione's and awareness tingled through his body. She'd been watching him as he'd stared at her.

"Thank God I'm wearing nice long robes..." Severus looked down at himself and pulled his robes more tightly round him. 

"Acio clothes," she said, putting her wet hand out and pointing her finger at a stool, next to the one Severus was perched upon, looking uncomfortable.

A neatly folded pile of clothes flew through the half open bathroom door and landed on the stool. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Wandless magic, I'm impressed..." he drawled.

"Thank you," she said, looking at him with an indeterminable look on her face. He dared to look back, because now all he could see was her head and a load of bubbles. It didn't stop it tantalizing the hell out of him as the bubbles moved around and he kept thinking he'd glimpsed things he really shouldn't be trying to glimpse.

Severus decided that now would probably be a good time to explain, because at least it would distract him from her nakedness.

"You are, I presume, aware of my... involvement with Lord Voldemort?" he asked, knowing she knew something about it, because of Harry, but not knowing how much.

"I know you are spying for Dumbledore, yes," she said, her hand reaching for some body-wash and distracting the hell out of him by sitting up, letting him see her breasts all wet and soapy.

It took him a second to get his thoughts together. He still didn't know quite how much Hermione needed to know about this situation and she really wasn't helping.

"If I may, professor," Hermione interrupted his thoughts. "I'm not delicate and breakable, however my behaviour tonight may have suggested. Please just let me know everything, because I've learnt that gaps in knowledge can become fatal. Don't spare my feelings, sir."

He wondered if she realized how incredibly surreal it was to be naked in a bath, calling her professor 'Sir' as he tried not to perve over her naked body.

Severus looked at her determined face and sighed. If only Draco had picked someone else, maybe he'd felt less inclined to involve himself so completely. But Hermione Granger was one of those people who, however annoying, managed to get into your heart a little. She was so... human.

"There is a tradition, a ceremony," he explained. "Every year, the people who wish to become Death Eaters have a year to complete a task. The task is to turn a student to Voldemort's side, and Draco has chosen you. He wishes to... break you. To make you either turn to him, or be so badly broken, that you won't care what happens to you."

"So he's starting slow? Killing Crookshanks?" Her voice caught a little on her cat's name.

"He came here tonight to kidnap you. Then to take you to his home and rape and torture you, holding you there until the start of term. Murdering your cat was just something to fall back on, as he couldn't find you."

"And you can't be seen to stop him, because it would blow your cover," she worked out. "So how do I stop him? Am I expected to play along? Join the Death Eaters?"

"That is what I am not completely sure of, Miss Granger," he said, nearly choking on his words when she started soaping herself all over. He shifted on his stool, eyeing the door and wondering if it would be wrong to just run all the way back to Hogwarts.

"I do not want you exposed to the same things I have been exposed to, and I will inform the headmaster of my opinion when we see him."

"So Dumbledore decides my fate?" she asked, standing, water dripping off her body.

His gaze raked over her dripping wet body, starting at her legs and working his way up until his red hot gaze met hers. She held his gaze and held out her hand.

At Severus's confused look she said, "If you could pass me a towel?"

Severus stood to pass her a towel and then looked away.

"I don't know what solution Dumbledore will have, Miss Granger. But if it could be one which doesn't put you in constant danger every day of your life, it would be preferable. We might be able to get around it."

"What happens if Draco fails and can't bring me to Voldemort?" she asked, drying herself and driving Severus insane with random glimpses of her naked body.

"He will be tortured, then killed," Severus said, bluntly. "But his fate is not your concern, Miss Granger. Malfoy knew what he was getting himself into."

He wondered how true that statement was as he said it, but put his thoughts aside. Draco's soul may not be salvageable, but Hermione's was. He wasn't going to have her turned into what he had become, which is what would happen if she ended up spying for Dumbledore too. Or worse, she could actually fall for all Voldemort's spiel and want to be one of them. He wondered if Voldemort had ever sold insurance or timeshare...

Hermione dropped her wet towel onto the floor and bent to pull the plug out of her bath. Severus wondered if she was being deliberately provocative – she didn't seem like the prancing around naked type. Then again, it was always the quiet ones, wasn't it?

"I don't even want to think about Dumbledore's dirty side..." Severus thought, thinking about Dumbledore's possible dirty side and cringing. At least it was distracting him from the very naked Hermione standing in front of him.

"Why did you come here tonight, professor? Why not Dumbledore, or someone else from the Order?"

"I didn't have time to send anyone else in my place," he replied, wishing she'd hurry up and put some clothes on. "I came straight from a gathering."

She took in his Death Eater robes and randomly asked, "Can I see your mask?"

"My involvement with the Death Eaters is not a subject I enjoy lingering on, Miss Granger," Severus said, tightly. "And I would be most grateful if you put some bloody clothes on!"

He got up and stormed out of the bathroom, his control desperately near breaking point. He had to put some distance between them until he'd calmed down a little. Maybe a cold shower charm?

He waited in the kitchen, which had also been wrecked by one of the irate Malfoys. A few minutes later, she appeared, wearing jeans and a sweater, her hair damp and falling nearly to her waist in dripping rats tails.

He waved his hands over her hair and Hermione felt something warm and tingly pass over her head and shoulders. When she reached her hand up, she discovered her hair was dry. A little messy, but perfectly dry.

"I need to take a slight detour and stop off at my house," he said, snapping the words at her, because he just didn't want her in his home. It was his sanctuary and he didn't want comments or judgment on it. And he feared that this witch was not any more likely to keep her comments to herself out of class than she was in it.

She nodded and then reached up and touched his face.

"Thank you," she said, then stepped back.

Severus nodded, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say, then took her hand and Apparated them both.


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few minutes for Hermione's world to stop spinning around. When she finally stopped feeling sick and looked at her surroundings she realized they were in a village somewhere, probably still in England judging by the miserable weather and the greenery.

Severus started walking; he'd stopped and waited, she realized, while she regained her balance. She trotted after him, nearly tripping over her own feet as she looked at the village in the half light. It was beautiful, she could tell, even with the lack of light.

It was a small village, the houses separated by trees and grass. There was a tiny corner shop and kid's bikes just thrown onto the grass of their gardens. In London where she lived, she thought wryly, the bike would now be being ridden away from the scene of a crime, the front basket filled with ill-gotten gains.

Lying in bed at home, despite the double glazing, she could hear people shouting, horns blaring, doors slamming... Here there was such an amazing silence. And everything was green and she breathed the fresh air into her lungs.

A bird chirped, breaking the silence and Hermione smiled. One day, when she was much better off, she wanted to live somewhere like this.

She noticed her Potions Master watching her. He'd stopped at a small wooden gate, almost obscured by large trees. They didn't match the rest around them, which were all trimmed and neat. This house had trees so thick and high that it was near impossible to see what was hidden behind them.

"This is why I never want to live in London," she said, sighing happily. "This place is amazing."

Severus gave her a curt nod and a look, which could have almost been interpreted as 'pleased' but only almost.

"Where are we?" she asked, as Severus opened the garden gate with a mumbled word.

No one could Apparate directly into his house. As often as he'd cursed Dumbledore for putting the same spells and Anti-apparition charms on Hogwarts, he understood the need for them.

Severus looked down at her bright, eager face. You couldn't tell that an hour earlier she'd been sobbing and threatening to kill him.

"North Yorkshire," he answered, waiting for her to go through the gate with ill-concealed impatience. He followed her in and closed it behind them both. "It's a very small place – I doubt you'd have heard of it."

"You doubt I'd have heard of North Yorkshire?" Hermione asked, incredulously.

"No, Miss Granger," he said, annoyed at her and annoyed at himself for not being clearer and for conversing with the girl in the first place. "The village is called Longley and it is Longley that I am assuming you would never have heard of."

"Oh." Hermione flushed. She had never heard of the place.

"Of all the things I know about you, your intelligence is not one of the aspects of your personality that I would ever doubt."

She stopped gazing at his garden long enough to look up at him curiously. Had that been a compliment?

He noticed her taking in everything, as eager to learn out of class as she was in it. The trees, the rare and beautiful flowers, the sanctuary he'd built himself. He loved being outside, he just hated people being able to watch him, so he'd planted trees all around the edge of his garden and had acquired some of Professor Sprout's special Miracle Grow solution. His garden was for the most part sheltered from view and it created a sort of green, tranquil paradise, for him anyway. The neighbours probably hated it, but as he'd never actually spoken to any of them, it didn't really matter.

The cottage had ivy covering all the walls and when Severus opened the door for her to enter his house, she was almost loathe to leave the garden. But curiosity got the better of her, as did Severus' not very subtle nudge between the shoulder blades, so she went in.

He reached around her to turn on the light and watched as her mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"You live here?" she asked.

Severus decided not to bother answering that question and just watched her, deriving a strange sort of pleasure out of challenging her preconceived ideas of him. Even Dumbledore had never seen his house.

The front door led straight into the front room, which was the most beautiful, cosy room she'd ever seen. The carpet was so thick she felt like she was sinking into it, and it was a gorgeous, warm cream colour. She assumed there were anti dust and dirt charms on it, because if not it would never have kept its colour so well.

There was a large fireplace, which had suddenly come to life and started crackling and burning the moment the door had been opened. The smell of burning wood wafted over to her and she had to resist the urge to just sink into the soft carpet and fall asleep.

The room was relatively small and the walls were made of an assortment of stones, all beautiful, rough and warm looking. The sofa was a deep red velvet to match the curtains, which were half drawn over windows patterned with wrought iron.

In one wall there was a stone archway, through which she could see a small room. She gasped as she realized that its walls were made entirely out of books crammed together on shelves. Severus grinned as Hermione quietly whimpered, resisting the urge to run in there and start ploughing through his collection.

He put his hand to the small of her back, making her jump. She'd forgotten he was there. She found herself being gently pushed through the archway and into the room, which Hermione had already decided was where she was going to go when she died. Sod Heaven, this was far, far better.

The only space in the room that wasn't covered with books was taken up with another large stone fireplace, a cheerful fire crackling in its grate. In front of it was a soft, fluffy white rug, perfect for curling up on with a book. The only other furniture in the room was a large, high backed rocking chair, adorned with cushions.

Who would have known that Severus Snape, Potions Master and Lord of the Dark, Dank Dungeons was such a comfort craver. Everything in his house so far had texture and warmth and everything that could be comfortable was so comfortable you'd never want to get up again.

How could he leave this place to live in Hogwarts' miserable, cold dungeons?

Severus smiled as Hermione ran her hands almost reverently over the spines of his books, taking each one in with an amazed look on her face. He'd once heard her tell Harry that her parents had never let her keep many books around, saying that it would clutter up the house. He'd been so shocked and disgusted by what he'd overheard that he'd nearly offered to let her peruse his private collection in his quarters, before thinking again and deciding that it was a ridiculous idea.

God, it was amazing to see someone as in love with reading as he was, he thought.

Severus noticed Hermione staring at him and he searched her eyes for a reason.

"You're smiling," she said, gazing at him.

He raised his eyebrow at her.

"I do smile occasionally, Miss Granger. Would you like to sit down and peruse my books, while I try to find Dumbledore? He's away from Hogwarts on business at the moment, but he should really attend to your matters as soon as possible."

Hermione walked towards him and touched his hand.

"Professor, could I... I mean..."

Severus knew what was coming. He knew when he had seen the look in her eyes when she'd seen the garden that this was Hermione's Heaven. Now she wanted to see if the rest of it met with her fantasy.

He shouldn't have been surprised really, he thought to himself as he watched Hermione struggle to get the words out, realizing that she knew how difficult it would be for him to let someone into his house like this, let alone give them a guided tour.

Hermione was a lot like him – she had a passion for books and learning and she kept her real self from the world almost as much as he did.

"Hermione," he said, knowing he was using her first name, but then again they were in his home, not his Potions classroom. "I don't want to hurt or offend you, but..."

She immediately nodded, understanding and only slightly taken aback at the use of her first name. This was the man who usually snarled her name just before he deducted points from her house.

"Of course. I understand," she said, touching his hand again. "It's difficult letting people see any part of the real you, isn't it? And this house is as far from your Severus Snape, Potions Master persona as you can get."

He just looked at her, uncomfortable with the way she understood why he didn't want her seeing his house and uncomfortable with the way she was looking at him.

"Don't get me wrong, Miss Granger," he said, looking down into her intense face. "I am not some incredibly nice man trapped in an Evil Potion's Master's body, I am the person everyone thinks I am. This is just a side of me that I keep from the world in order to survive."

She noted he'd changed the way he'd addressed her again and realized that the barriers, which had been lowered slightly, were right back up where they were before.

"I think it's been so long that you don't know who you really are," she said, moving her hand away from his and leaving the room through the large stone archway. "But when Voldemort is finally defeated, you're going to have to find out."

"What makes you think he'll be defeated, Miss Granger?"

"Destiny, Severus, destiny," said a voice which was far too deep and old sounding to be Hermione's.

Severus had been about to draw his wand instinctively, when he realized that the man who had appeared in his fireplace was Albus Dumbledore. He immediately loosened his grip on his wand.

Albus stepped out of the grate in the living room and Hermione immediately ran towards him, her arms outstretched to give him a huge hug. Albus and Hermione had become closer over the last year or so and she even occasionally went up to his office to play Muggle chess, or to talk. The fact that her headmaster shared her opinion that Wizard Chess was barbaric had delighted her.

Severus watched with a degree of jealousy at the amount of affection Hermione Granger had for her headmaster. He didn't think anyone had ever hugged him like that, or had ever been as delighted to see him. In fact, the last time he had been hugged properly was the night his mother had died nineteen years ago, when she had hugged him goodbye.

"Are you feeling better, Hermione?" Albus asked, tipping her face up to see her properly. "I'm so sorry we couldn't stop Draco and his father from committing such a sickening crime. If there is anything at all I can do?"

Severus wondered briefly how Albus had known where his house was, and how he had known what had happened at Hermione's house. But then, he always seemed to know everything, didn't he? Bloody man. He felt himself go slightly hot at the thought that he might somehow know about Hermione's little display in the bathroom.

Hermione was thinking the same thing. She hadn't known what had possessed her to act like that, whether she was just rattled by the fact that he seemed to be so emotionless and so unaffected by her, or if she had just been through such a trauma that she had gone briefly crazy. Ron hadn't even seen her naked, much to his frustration, and they'd been going out for five months.

"I'm fine," she said, smiling at the headmaster. "Professor Snape has been looking after me."

Albus gave the man in question a knowing look, then turned back to Hermione.

"Professor Snape has explained the situation?"

Severus nodded, thinking that he should probably invite the Headmaster to sit down, but then again he really didn't want the two of them staying in his house any longer than necessary. He was already feeling open and exposed after Hermione's candid evaluation of him.

Dumbledore sat down anyway, oblivious of Severus narrowing his eyes at him pointedly.

Hermione looked at Severus with an eyebrow raised.

"Sit down, miss Granger," he said, before sitting down stiffly next to her.

"You have some choices Hermione," Albus started to explain, looking at her seriously.

"We cannot risk uncovering Severus as a spy, and because of that, we cannot outwardly stop Draco from carrying on with his 'project.' Unless of course, it becomes obvious what he is trying to do. Then we could take action without involving Severus."

"Lemon drop?" he offered, pulling a white paper bag out of his pocket. Both Hermione and Severus shook their heads in a slightly bemused way.

Him and his bloody lemon drops. Severus wondered briefly what would happen if they suddenly stopped manufacturing them. Albus would probably become frail, weak and powerless. They were very probably the source of all his powers.

Hermione shot Severus a quick smile, as if reading his mind. It took some willpower not to smile back at her.

This situation was not a smiling matter, he reminded himself, glowering viciously at the carpet.

"You could pretend to be falling into Draco's trap, but that could be very dangerous for you and anyone around you," Albus carried on, noticing the looks between Hermione and Severus but choosing not to comment.

"You could stick it out until he makes a mistake, and then we could involve the ministry," he suggested.

Severus and Hermione both made dismissive noises and Albus eyed them both, a bemused smile upon his face this time.

"I'm sorry Headmaster, but I think the chances of the ministry being any help with that cretin in charge..."

Albus stopped Severus mid sentence with a quelling look, but Hermione nodded her agreement.

"We could spirit you and your family away, until this is all over. That is another option," Albus suggested, as if Severus had never spoken.

"I'd have to miss my final year, sir. Not to mention the fact that I don't like running away," she said, her jaw set.

Severus sighed. "Miss Granger, I don't think you have quite grasped the horror of what the new Death Eater's victims have to go through, from the moment their names are written in blood. If you had, you wouldn't even be considering staying in the country."

"Severus, please do not try to sway Hermione's decision," Albus admonished.

Hermione got to her feet and paced.

"So my choices are to leave for at least a year, which would look pretty suspicious anyway, right? Or to stay and let Draco 'recruit' me and become a spy, which might end in me being killed. Or to stay and wait for Draco to make a mistake, which may not happen."

"You really don't know Draco Malfoy, do you?" Severus said dryly, then quietened at a stern look from Albus.

She turned to Severus and dropped to her knees in front of him, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"If I leave, you'll be punished, won't you?" she asked. "They won't know it's you, but there will be suspicions and you'll be punished."

Severus surprised himself, and her, by reaching down and taking her hands in his.

"Miss Granger, I knew from the moment I joined the Death Eaters that I was putting my life on the line, just as I knew when I decided to help The Order of Phoenix that the risks would be even greater then. This is not your fight and was never meant to be your fight. Anything that happens to me is not your responsibility."

She looked up into his eyes, almost teary with emotion and lack of sleep. Who would have thought that this man who terrorized every student in Hogwarts, would be so incredibly brave and unselfish? She felt her heart ache for him and the life that he was being forced to lead.

"You'll be free one day," she said, her face close to his. "I just hope you can remember how to fly."

Severus stared at her, at a loss for words. Albus pretended to be hugely interested in the speck of dust on the sleeve of his robes.

Hermione got to her feet, gently releasing Severus' hands.

"I'll stay, Headmaster," she said, resolutely. "I will stay and see what happens. If Malfoy trips up, then fantastic. If not, then I'll just have to deal with that when the time comes, won't I?"

"Oh, for God sake," Severus jumped to his feet. "Bloody Gryffindor courage! You have a way out, for the love of Merlin, take it!"

"I'm not leaving other people to shoulder the blame for my cowardice," Hermione said, glaring at her Potions Master.

"My parents can be protected, can't they?" Hermione asked her Headmaster, who was trying to blend into the background while they argued.

"Of course, Hermione," he said, giving her a half smile. "This isn't the first time this has happened. Severus, you have accommodation for Hermione tonight?"

"Could she not go back to Hogwarts with you, Headmaster?" he asked, biting back a growl of frustration, ignoring Hermione's hurt look.

"It would be preferable if she stayed in your protection for a day or two..."

"A day or two?!" they both exclaimed at the same time, both glowering at the beam on Dumbledore's face.

"Then it's sorted," he said, in a cheerful tone. "I will see about delaying your parents return from their lovely holiday in Whitby and you can use the next twenty four hours to make up your mind."

"I must be heading back to Hogwarts. It's light outside now and I've not had a wink of sleep. Think carefully Hermione."

"Albus..." Severus said, in a warning tone. But Albus had already disappeared in a blaze of green flames.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione and Severus stared at each other, both a little dazed.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Hermione said, speaking first. "I never meant for you to end up in the middle of anything like this and I don't want you to feel like you're stuck having me here. I can go to Ron's."

A stab of something that felt suspiciously like jealousy hit Severus in the stomach.

"Miss Granger, it is not your fault that I am in the middle of anything. It is Draco Malfoy's fault, if we must assign blame."

And he bloody well was going to assign blame. He was going to kill the little shit the minute Voldemort was in his grave. And he was going to enjoy it.

"Do you mind if I just floo Ron?" Hermione asked, annoying Severus by not actually acknowledging the fact that he had spoken. "Molly loves me coming to stay and I'm sure..."

His glare silenced her and he felt quite proud of it.

I really must start practicing that glare in front of the mirror, he decided. Could use it on Longbottom when I see him in the hallway – see if I can actually get him to piss himself.

"If Dumbledore wishes you to stay here, then he has his reasons," Severus said, putting the very appealing image of Neville Longbottom filling his pants in terror out of his mind, while trying desperately to ignore his own reasons for wanting her to stay.

"I will get your room ready," he said, not letting her say anything else.

He stalked off, leaving Hermione staring after him as he disappeared through a door she hadn't even noticed in the corner of the room.

Severus was rummaging through his wardrobe for a blanket when her voice made him jump out of his skin. The very fact that she had made him jump annoyed him immensely. He was always on his guard and now she was managing to get under it.

She had wandered through the door and climbed the spiral staircase without him hearing her. Now she was looking around his bedroom and he'd told her a few minutes earlier that he didn't want her in the rest of his house!

"Miss Granger, are you completely unable to listen and respect people's wishes?" he asked, in a cold voice.

There was an old wardrobe made with dark, warm looking wood, and a chest of drawers to match. They had beautiful carvings in the doors and Hermione resisted the urge to go to them and run her fingers over them.

"Miss Granger!" he snapped.

Hermione jumped and glared up at the irate man.

"I'm sorry sir, I just got a little lonely."

In actual fact, she'd started panicking about her situation the moment he had left the room and had decided to go and find him before she drove herself mad.

She looked around the room. It was small and mostly empty, but underneath the window there was a space hollowed into the wall with a comfy looking seat in it, covered in dark green velvet. There was a four poster bed in the middle of the room, which was easily the biggest bed she had ever seen. It was made from the same wood as the wardrobe and drawers, with the same carvings. The drapes were in Slytherin colours and were rich and heavy. The bedcover matched and the bed looked so soft her legs almost gave way with the urge to sink onto it.

God, she was tired.

Hermione's eyes rested on the nightstand to the left of the bed. On top of it were two pictures, both of women. One was young, about Hermione's age, and the other about her mother's age. They both looked a lot like Severus, with their long black hair and pale faces, although neither had been cursed with that nose.

Must be from his father's side of the family, she mused.

She sensed Severus watching her and stopped looking at them, knowing he wasn't comfortable with her presence at all, without her looking at his private possessions.

I shouldn't have followed him in, she thought, backing towards the door.

"I'm sorry, I just... Well..."

Severus dropped the blanket he had been lifting from the wardrobe and he strode over to her, taking hold of her shoulders in a biting grip.

"You are going to leave, Miss Granger, and you are not going to return until Voldemort is dead. Do you understand?"

It took her a second to realize that he wasn't talking about her leaving his bedroom, but leaving Britain.

"I am not going to leave. Why won't you understand that?" Hermione snapped at him, trying to wrench herself free of his grasp. "I can do this, you know I can."

She looked into his eyes, pleading for understanding. Why couldn't he understand that she couldn't just run away, leave her life behind and leave other people to take the fall?

"You will not die to protect me, Miss Granger. Don't you realise that's what you're doing?"

Hermione winced as she thought about that. Dying to protect her nasty potions master?

"Not just you, sir, but all the people you're protecting by being a spy." She willed him to understand. "If something happens to me, then it happens. Having you killed won't help us win the war."

"The Malfoys will break you, Miss Granger. And enjoy breaking you."

"Just as Voldemort enjoys breaking you, sir."

He didn't flinch at her use of his name as she'd expected. She realized that it was silly of her to think he would. He had faced Voldemort countless times and survived – what was a name compared to that? Why couldn't he understand that she had to do this? It was the sensible thing. She couldn't let him die for her, even if the lives of others weren't involved.

"Don't you understand that that is why I don't want that happening to you," he sighed, trying to make he understand while also trying to keep his temper under control. "You're too young, too innocent to see the things you'll have to see."

"As I'm sure you were, once upon a time, Severus."

Severus flinched at the use of his first name and looked at her, gazing up at him, looking so breakable and yet so brave at the same time. She shouldn't be involved in this.

"Bloody Draco Malfoy," he cursed under his breath.

He looked into her eyes, which were filling with tears and groaned. He pulled her towards him, his arms going around her, crushing her against his body, holding her so close, it hurt them both. He pressed his chin down onto the top of her head and tried to pull her inside him, to protect her.

She clung to him, pressing herself just as tightly against him, needing the contact. She needed comfort and she needed to comfort him.

His lips came down on hers and she froze in shock, before frantically kissing him back. Their tongues brushed together and they both groaned and clung to each other more tightly.

It took Severus a few seconds to recover from the shock that she was actually responding to his kisses. That hadn't been what he had expected; he'd expected her to try to push him away, or to hit out at him, or to scream; but not for her to press herself against him and kiss him back with more passion than he'd ever felt before.

He concentrated and tried to distance himself from her soft, warm mouth. He cleared his thoughts enough to remember that he had started this kiss for a reason. He desperately didn't want to do it. More desperately, he wanted to keep kissing her, losing himself in her taste, but he knew what he had to do.

He opened his mind, consciously taking down his barriers one by one. Then he found the memories he was looking for and pushed them into Hermione's head with all the mental force he could gather. He felt her tongue falter and felt her gasp, her mouth still pressed against his.

Images flew through both their minds. The image of a girl, naked and covered in dirt, her hair matted with blood oozing from a wound. She was kneeling at Severus's feet, looking up at him in shock, horror and amazement, as he let the masked men take her a little distance away and force her legs apart as she screamed his name...

A girl, who could only have been about fourteen, bleeding to death on the ground, drowing in her own blood, a snake-like face laughing and smiling at her feeble struggles...

A boy of about eighteen being held down by masked men as Voldemort knelt over his face and pulled back his cloak...

A girl crying and screaming in horror as she stared at the mutilated body of her dead brother...

A woman hanging limp in some leather bondage device, where Hermione somehow knew, she'd been hanging for days, being tortured and raped and beaten...

Suddenly an image appeared accompanied with such extreme emotions she choked. She felt fear, pain, nausea, helplessness, hatred and complete terror. The emotions were so overwhelming that she could barely concentrate on the picture in her mind. She could see silver masks all staring at her, all leering at her. She could feel herself being held down as she struggled and they laughed.

She looked up and saw two women one young, one old, both with pale faces and long black hair, both kneeling with their hands tied behind their backs, terror on their faces. She heard a male voice begging and screaming for mercy, saying he'd do anything if they'd just let them go and kill him instead...

She looked down at the hands on the grass in front of her as she struggled frantically and hopelessly against the bodies holding her down. The hands were long, pale and thin. A distinctive ring glistened on the left hand...

My God, Severus... 

"Enough!" Severus cried, tearing his mouth from hers. He dropped to the floor on all fours and retched. Hermione joined him.

After a few minutes, Severus sat up and pulled Hermione from her hands and knees into a sitting position and pulled her against him. She was shivering.

He cast a charm to clean the floor and then reached up to the bed pulling the duvet down on top of them. He wrapped it around them both.

He looked down at his hands and realized he was shaking too. He cursed himself for letting her see too much. A few of his memories would have done – he hadn't needed to go that far.

"Hermione?" he asked, tipping her face up, much the same way Albus had twenty minutes earlier. He needed to see if she was all right. He needed to fix what he had done, which was ridiculous, because he had meant to hurt her. He had meant her to see all that so she would understand and run as far away as she could.

She opened her eyes and looked into his, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him so he was half lying on her with his head resting against her shoulder. She held him tight and rocked him, stroking his hair gently.

"I'm so sorry," she said, stroking his hair over and over again. "God, I wish I could have stopped them. I wish I could have been there for you. I'm so sorry..."

Severus froze in shock. He had expected her to see everything that had happened and relate it back to herself and her situation and be scared witless. Instead, she had been filled with some unfathomable need to comfort him and he couldn't cope with it.

He tried to pull away from her, to put as much distance between them as he possibly could. A move to Australia wasn't out of the question. He struggled against her, telling her to let him go, to stay away, to leave him alone.

He was frantic and it just made her hold him harder, trying to use her body to absorb his struggles. She had no doubt that if he had really tried, he could have broken free, but he needed this, he needed to be held and comforted and loved.

Eventually he stopped struggling and lay breathing deeply in her arms.

"It's going to be okay," she said gently, stroking his hair. "I'll look after you. Just let go..."

"It will never be okay," he half said, half sobbed, before he broke down completely and wept into her neck, clinging to her as if he was drowning.

"I tried to stop him," he sobbed almost incoherently. "I fought and begged and promised them anything. They didn't need to hurt them. They hadn't done anything wrong...It was my fault, I was the one who deserved that. Not them."

Hermione rocked him gently; holding him so tightly her arms ached. He was no longer her Potions Professor who had hurt and snubbed her in the past; a man who was so distant she hadn't even realized he was human. He was a man in so much pain that it was killing him. Bit by bit, he was dying inside. And she had to help him.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he sobbed.

Hermione kissed the top of his head over and over, pressing her face against his head, wanting to somehow take him into her skin and protect and fix him.

She kissed his forehead, his eyes, nose and cheeks, almost frantically, feeling his pain and desperately trying to fix it in the only way she knew how.

Exactly when she had started kissing his mouth, neither of them knew. All they knew was that suddenly the embrace had turned from comfort to passion. Tongues were fighting for dominance. Hands were frantically touching everywhere and removing every item of clothing they came across.

Severus rose to his feet, pulling Hermione with him, still kissing her and clinging to her as if she was his only lifeline. He pulled her onto the bed and pinned her underneath him with his body. His mouth moved from her mouth to her neck, as he showered kisses all over her, moving gradually lower.

At an impatient, muttered charm from Severus, they were both naked, their bodies writhing against each other, their hands touching everywhere. Severus flicked his tongue against her nipples, licking and biting each one gently in turn. He kissed and licked his way down to her stomach, then moved his head between her thighs and buried his head between them, tasting her.

Hermione whimpered and lifted her hips off the bed. He licked her again and again, holding her hips still with his hands. He plunged his tongue inside her and fucked her with his tongue. He licked her deliberately slowly, making her whimper. Then his tongue moved against her over and over again, until she cried out, moaning something incoherent.

She was just coming back down to earth again, when she felt him move from between her thighs to lie next to her, not touching her. She could practically feel the barriers going up again.

He jumped when she reached for him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, knowing that there were a million things wrong with the situation, but also knowing that right then she didn't care. She needed him inside her, moving against her. She needed to be part of him and to have him be part of her.

"Come back to me, Severus," she whispered, touching his face. At the sound of his name being whispered, he groaned.

Severus shivered as her hand stroked up his stomach and a thumb brushed against his nipple. Her hand wandered down and she ran the tip of her finger up and down his incredibly hard cock. She grasped him tightly in her hand, making him gasp.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked, biting her lip and looking him in the face, knowing that some sanity had come back and he was probably trying to think of a way to get rid of her.

She looked so unsure and so alone, yet so brave and so beautiful. Severus groaned and pulled her onto his chest. He found her mouth with his and kissed her again and again, making her whimper.

"Never stop," he said, reverently, crushing her against his body.

She kissed wherever she could reach as he held her to his chest, nibbling on his earlobes, biting his neck, burying her hands in his hair. Then suddenly she felt him rubbing against her, pressing between her legs and she gasped. She wriggled down a little lower and groaned as she felt him pushing into her slowly.

"My God..." Severus whispered, his eyes closed, as he grasped her hips and pulled her slowly onto him. He looked almost in pain, as his fingers dug into her hips, fighting to regain some sort of control.

He thrusted all the way in and Hermione cried out, half in pain and half in pleasure as he finally filled her, stretching her and making her lose all her sanity.

She writhed against him, wriggling, trying to get him to move inside her. He groaned and flipped her over, his hands braced on either side of her head. She wrapped her legs around him and groaned as he thrust deep inside her.

"Open your eyes," he said, kissing her lips with something that could very easily be mistaken for tenderness.

Her eyes flew open and the depth of his heated gaze immediately drew her in. He thrust into her, watching her as she gasped and writhed against him. She clung to his shoulders, whimpering as he did it over and over again, not able to tear her eyes from his.

Emotions and passion seemed to completely overcome both of them at the same time. Suddenly all they could do was feel. They moved together again and again, clinging, scratching, biting, thrusting and sobbing, until they both came, almost as one.

The world came rushing slowly back to them as they lay entwined, panting.

A minute later, Severus lifted his head from her shoulder and made to pull away, not letting Hermione catch his eye.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Severus said, closing his eyes against the horror of what he had done. There was nothing more unforgivable than sleeping with a student. That was a huge abuse of power and... with her wriggling like that under him, he was beginning not to care...

"Shhh..." she said, pressing her fingers to his lips. He felt himself start to harden inside her again, as she ran her hands through his hair and over his back, lightly scraping her nails down it. He moved back from her, so he could see her properly. He lowered his head and sucked on one of her nipples, flicking it with her tongue, and then blowing cold air on it and watching it harden.

She whimpered and lifted her hips up to bury him deeper inside her. She reached down his body with both hands and ran her nails lightly down his back and over his arse. Then using just one finger, stroked the cleft between his cheeks. He jumped at the shot of pleasure that had gone through him and thrust into her, hard.

It was their undoing. This time, they made love slowly and gently. As he was about to come, he reached between their bodies and used his thumb to bring her to orgasm just before he came, deep inside her.

They lay together, too exhausted to think. Severus reached down and dragged the quilt onto the bed, covering both of them and warming Hermione, who had started to get goose pimples with the cold.

The last thing Hermione remembered were Severus' lips against her forehead...


	6. Chapter 6

When Hermione opened her eyes later that day, it took her a few seconds to get her bearings and remember what had happened the night before. She was completely naked, her Potions Professor's arm around her, squashing her breasts. She wriggled against him, trying to turn around and had to bite back a groan when she realized he was hard against her already.

Was he still asleep?

His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed; he looked so vulnerable. In the tiny shaft of light coming in through the gap in the heavy curtains, she could see his chest rising and falling with every breath. His skin was so pale and he only had a tiny smattering of hair on his chest. His arms were strong and well defined, probably from all that potion mixing.

Hermione looked closely at his face. He wasn't conventionally good looking by any stretch of the imagination, but he was somehow incredibly sexy. His lips were soft looking and Hermione reached over to run her thumb over his bottom lip, parting them gently. If she just leaned forward a tiny bit...

What was she doing? She shook her head and wriggled out of his arms as gently as she could. She'd just spent the night doing incredibly dirty things with one of her teachers for God's sake and now she was lying in bed wondering if it would be suicidal of her to kiss him awake and screw him senseless.

It had only taken her a moment to realise that yes, it would be suicidal of her. He had tried to pull back and stop what they'd been doing, and she hadn't let him. He'd shown her things that she was sure he'd never shown anyone before, and this morning she knew he'd be regretting it.

He'd probably wake up and throw her out, she mused. Or maybe deduct a few hundred points from Gryffindor...

She tried to decide if she regretted losing her virginity to Severus Snape. Ron had been trying to get her to have sex with him since they first got together, but she'd never really wanted to. She loved Ron, she really did, but she realised she'd never wanted Ron like she had wanted Severus; how she still wanted Severus.

Severus... Well, she couldn't really think of him as 'Professor Snape' now, could she?

She thought of Ron and his fierce hugs and sweet blushes. He was always so gentle and sweet with her, even if he wasn't with anything else. God, she felt guilty. She remembered the last time Ron had tried to get her to have sex with him, at the end of year ball.

He'd had her pressed up against the wall of one of the corridors on the way to the Gryffindor common room. Ron had just been pleading with Hermione to come up to his rooms, when Albus had walked round the corner. Albus had cleared his throat then said something random about walls having eyes, before disappearing again.

Walls were proverbially meant to have ears and as Hermione had pondered over this, and Ron tried to get his hand back up her skirt, Hermione had suddenly looked over at the wall behind Ron. A portrait of a particularly red-faced, horny looking 18th Century wizard hung there, staring at them.

Hermione's thoughts had echoed Ron's: 'eew!'

She looked around for her clothes, pulling them on and pulling a face. She desperately wanted a shower and a fresh change of clothes.

When she was fully dressed, she looked at the man in the oversized bed. When you got past the fact it was Severus Snape, despised professor of Hogwarts and all-round evil git, it didn't seem quite so wrong. An image flashed through her mind of him taking her from behind over her desk in his dungeon...

Okay, maybe it was wrong.

She didn't know him very well. She respected him, but wasn't sure she even liked him. And what was the point of all this stressing anyway? It wasn't like they'd be able to have a relationship, even if either of them wanted it.

Severus was going to be furious with her when he woke up...

She sighed and started to climb down the spiral staircase to the living room. She was going to find a shower of some sort, then try to find something to eat. Severus wouldn't appreciate her wandering round his house, but as he was unconscious at the moment he really couldn't complain.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs she looked up. Her heart nearly leapt into her mouth as the form of Albus Dumbledore emerged from the fire.

"Bloody hell!" she gasped. It was a good job she didn't have a weak heart, because the last twenty four hours would have been the death of her.

She looked up at the spiral stairs and cringed. Did he know? Was that why he was here earlier than he'd said he'd be?

"Good morning to you too, Hermione," Albus greeted her with his usual twinkle.

She laughed, trying to decide whether she was pleased Albus was here, because it meant she didn't have to be alone with Severus, or annoyed because it meant she didn't have to be alone with Severus.

God, I'm screwed up, she thought miserably. Yesterday I would quite happily have never seen him again. Today, I'm almost frantic that he won't speak to me again; other than to deduct house points anyway.

"I trust you slept well?"

Hermione couldn't stop the blush that started somewhere near her toes and spread right up to her cheeks.

"Headmaster, I'm not leaving Hogwarts," Hermione said, coming straight to the point, if only to distract herself from thinking about the naked and thoroughly screwed form of her Potions Professor upstairs in bed.

"I think there are ways around this," she said. "Ways no one has thought of yet. I was thinking that maybe instead of Draco turning me, I could work it so it's the other way around?"

The idea had come to her almost on the spot and even she could see some huge flaws in it. But it was workable...

"Absolutely not, Miss Granger," a voice came from the doorway. "Stop being so damn Gryffindor and just leave."

"And leave you to be found out and killed?" Hermione said, turning on him and fighting a blush.

He was buttoning the rest of his robes as he walked into the living room, a scowl on his face.

Hermione looked at him, desperately searching for any sign of the man who had called out her name as he'd come inside her only hours earlier. She needed some sort of reassurance that he didn't hate her and wasn't going to just go back to how he used to be, as if nothing had happened.

"What happens to me is not your concern."

Well, that answers that then.

She sighed.

"Yes Severus, it is my concern." She pointedly used his first name and felt almost triumphant when he flinched.

"To what do we owe this pleasure, Headmaster?" he asked in a dangerously silky voice, turning to Albus and ignoring Hermione. "We weren't expecting you until tonight at the very earliest."

"Just wanted to make sure you were both getting on, Severus," Albus said with what could have very possibly have been a knowing smile.

Hermione blushed for the second time in five minutes, but Severus barely flinched. He caught her eye, his face devoid of any expression as she tried unsuccessfully to work out what he was thinking.

His eyes searched her much more readable face. God, she looked so vulnerable and scared. Was she scared of him? Did she think he was going to pounce on her again? Part of him wished Albus would just leave, so he could hold her and tell her she didn't have to be scared of him. He wanted to tell her he was sorry and to make it all right.

He also wanted to Apparate to the nearest country with a warm climate and cheap alcohol and vaguely wondered which urge would win out.

"Hermione is right, Severus," Albus said, making them both remember that they weren't alone. "If she left it would not only risk your life, but your place amongst the Death Eaters as a spy. It would endanger hundreds of lives."

"So what do you suppose, headmaster? That she pretends to fall into Draco's trap? Lets him break her, before joining Voldemort's ranks, where he himself will break any spirit she has left?" Severus said tightly, refusing to look at Hermione or Albus, instead fixing on a random point on the wall behind them both.

"Hermione's idea of turning Draco is an interesting one, and one I think would benefit everyone, if it was to succeed."

Albus looked at Severus with a serious look on his face. "You are fighting blindly for Hermione's safety to the exclusion of the safety all others, including your own. Admirable, Severus, but not the best way forward."

Hermione looked at him curiously. He was?

Severus spoke through clenched teeth as he turned to Albus, finally looking him in the eye. "Miss Granger could be spared all the pain I've had to endure. If your plan doesn't work, her life will be my life, Albus. Can you not see how foolhardy this plan of yours is? And how unlikely it is to work? Draco has been under the influence of his father for nearly eighteen years. Whatever shreds of decency he has, it will take more than a girl; a Gryffindor at that, to make him see sense."

A furious Hermione, who was completely sick of being talked about as if she wasn't there, interrupted the Headmaster's reply. She rounded on Severus and moved so close to him he had to resist taking a step back to put some room between him and the furious woman.

"What happens to me is my own decision," she said, all put prodding him in the chest. "As much as I respect both you and Headmaster Dumbledore, and your opinions; I know your opinions and I do not need to hear them again."

She started pacing around the room, the way she usually did when trying to work out what one of Ron and Harry's hair-brained schemes were about. Both men quickly moved out of her way, both looking a little intimidated at her fury.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman pissed off," muttered Severus under his breath to Albus as they watched Hermione pace.

Albus nodded.

Severus sighed and moved to intercept Hermione mid-pace. He took hold of her shoulders and turned her around to face him.

"Miss Granger," he said quietly in a silky, almost deadly voice. "Did what you saw last night mean nothing to you?"

Hermione looked away from his serious face, so close to hers.

"What I saw doesn't change the fact that even if I can't get to Draco, someone has to try."

Severus sighed again.

"Did anyone try to save you from yourself, when you joined the Death Eaters, Professor?" she asked, gently. Her eyes met his and her hand touched his cheek so lightly he had to glance down to check she was actually touching him.

He looked down at the girl who had somehow managed to confuse the hell out of him without even trying. Suddenly he quite desperately wanted her naked in his arms again. He wanted to fell her hot skin against his, to hear her gasp again as he thrust into her. For a moment, he almost forgot Albus was there at all.

Severus stepped forward, closing the gap between them and took her face between his large, slender hands.

"Would you have tried to save me, Hermione?" he asked, his voice low and gruff.

She looked into his eyes, experiencing an aching in her chest. She lifted one of her hands to his and squeezed it gently.

"You know I would," she said quietly.

For a moment Severus let himself imagine how it would have been if he'd had someone like Hermione. How it would have been if someone had actually cared and had done something to counteract all the lies Lucius Malfoy had been filling his head with. His life could have been so different...

He looked into her eyes and wondered what on earth he had gotten himself into. How was he going to teach her after this? How was he going to look at her day after day, knowing what she tasted like?

He stifled a groan and only the presence of the Headmaster stopped him scooping her up in his arms and taking her back to bed. Which was bad, because it was only five minutes earlier that he had decided never to even speak to her again.

Hermione watched his face as the various different emotions hit him, wanting to kiss him to stop that mind of his from overanalyzing and ruining everything before it had even began.

"Severus..." She looked up into his eyes, questioningly. If he would just let go...

Albus cleared his throat, making both Severus and Hermione jump. Severus took a step backwards and reluctantly broke contact with Hermione. Hermione flopped down on his sofa, her anger gone as quickly as it came.

She stared up at the man who had somehow completely changed her life in less than a day. How could she want her Professor to kiss her until she was completely lost in him? And not just any professor, but the professor, the man, who the rest of the world hated and feared.

"I can't do this alone, Professor," she said, quietly from her position on his sofa. "Whether I'm to try to turn Draco, or whether I'm to pretend to be turned myself, I need your help."

"I do not approve of this situation, Miss Granger," he said. "But I will do whatever I can to make it better for you."

Albus' voice made them both jump again. Severus wondered briefly if he'd be fired once this was all over. The Lemon Drop addict surely knew what he had done.

It was the least he deserved, he thought.

"Your parents will be hidden and be replaced by clones at their London house, Hermione," Albus said, understanding that Hermione had made her decision.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him.

"Clones?" she asked, her nose wrinkling.

"They are charms, if you like. They will look and act exactly like your parents, and will duplicate their everyday lives, so that if the Malfoys try to harm them, they will not discover your parents have been hidden."

Hermione nodded, wondering how her parents were going to take this upheaval and what was going to happen to them. She closed her eyes for a moment, it all becoming too much.

"Did you see my parents?" she asked, remembering that Albus was supposed to find them and tell them to stay where they were for a few days.

"I did. They are confused to say the least, but will stay where they are until further notice. I am going to arrange for them to stay with by an old friend abroad. They would like to see you first."

Hermione sighed and pushed the hair back from her face, anticipating the hundreds of questions her parents would throw at her and knowing she'd never be able to make them understand. No one could understand unless they had witnessed the evil that Voldemort could do and had done. Her parents hadn't a clue.

"If you would accompany Hermione to visit her parents?" Albus asked Severus, moving towards the fireplace.

Hermione was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Oh, she hadn't been when she first arrived at Hogwarts, but now she was the most amazing creature he'd ever seen. She had intelligence and honour and...

God. I'm getting feelings for her. This is insane. I'm insane. All those Crucio's have finally had an effect. Cart me off to St Mungos and wrap me up in a magically reinforced straitjacket – I'll come willingly.

Hermione was looking at him expectantly.

_I have to stop this, _he thought frantically.

He swore under his breath and looked at Hermione for a long moment, before coming to a decision.

"I'm afraid I can't, Headmaster. I have... errands to run."

"Surely you can taken a hour out of your busy day, Severus?" Albus asked, frowning gently. "Hermione needs the support."

"And I'm sure another professor could give her that support far better than I could," Severus said, not looking at Hermione, but sensing her anguish. "Minerva is free every day this week, as I recall."

Severus felt like a complete bastard, but this had to be done.

"Severus..." Albus began, before Hermione interrupted him by raising her hand.

"It's alright," she said to Albus before turning to Severus, her eyes flashing.

"I wouldn't want you to go out of your way, Professor," she said, her voice hard to hide the misery she was feeling. "I'll Floo the Weasleys and one of them will escort me."

Severus kept his face remarkably passive.

"That would be most convenient, Miss Granger," Severus said, turning away from her to address Albus.

"If that would be all, Headmaster?"

Albus nodded, knowing when he was being asked to leave.

Albus took a pinch of powder from his pocket and gave Hermione a sympathetic look.

"Will you be up for Chess tonight, Hermione?" he asked. "You are coming back to Hogwarts, rather than staying at the Weasley's?

Hermione nodded, glad to have an alternative to facing Ron on her own. She needed to sort her head out first.

Severus tried not to be pleased that she wouldn't be spending the night in the company of Ronald Weasley and failed.

Albus waved goodbye, before disappearing in green flames.

"If I could have some Floo Powder?" Hermione asked briskly, raking her fingers through her hair for something to do.

Severus nodded, curtly before handing her a beautiful silver box from above the fireplace, full of perfectly brewed Floo Powder.

Hermione threw the powder in, before getting on her hands and knees and sticking her head into the emerald green fire. Not a hugely dignified pose, admittedly, but at that moment she didn't care; she just wanted to get out of there.

"Ron? Oh! Bill! Hello. Is it alright if I come through?"

Hermione got to her feet and turned to Severus, who had to resist the urge to close his eyes. She looked so unhappy.

"Goodbye, Professor," she said firmly, getting ready to step into the fire. "It's been... interesting."

Knowing he should just let her go, but not being able to bring himself to do it, he took hold of her arm.

"I'll help you with the Malfoy situation," he said, not knowing what to say, but wanting to say something. Anything. He couldn't just leave it like this.

"Albus will probably be able to do that, sir. I don't want to be a nuisance."

"Have you decided what to tell everyone?" he asked, trying not to sound overly concerned.

"Death Eater attack. Voldemort targeting Muggle-borns," she said, shrugging. "It'll get back to Malfoy that I'm heartbroken and miserable and might buy me some time until the next onslaught."

Severus didn't know what to say. He had an irritating urge to comfort the girl, but daren't. This had gone far enough.

She took one last look at Severus Snape, who was staring at her with his black eyes strangely empty.

"For what it's worth," she said, quietly. "Thank you. For everything."

Then she was gone.

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Reviews are always welcome. Especially if they're good ones. Go on... :o)

Oh, and if anyone wants e-mailing when I update so they don't have to check, e-mail me at kirstypickstone at hotmail dot com (for some reason my e-mail address won't appear when typed properly)


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione was concentrating so hard on making a dignified exit that she forgot to try to make a dignified entrance. She landed in the Weasley's fireplace, stepped on a large log and promptly overbalanced, falling straight into the arms of the sexiest of the Weasley brothers.

"Now that's a greeting," Bill Weasley said, giving her a quick hug, before righting her properly. "Hello there."

"God, it's good to see you, Bill," Hermione said, smiling at him as he pushed an ice cold glass of fresh orange juice into her hand. She was used to his good-natured flirting, even if Ron wasn't. It was amazing to see someone who was uncomplicated and upfront after her day with Professor Snape.

"Been getting into trouble again, Hermione?" Fred asked, appearing in the doorway. Hermione had learned to tell the difference between them the year before and was hugely proud of the achievement.

Did everyone think she constantly got into trouble? She was usually the one trying to keep everyone else out of trouble! She resisted the urge to glower at them. Maybe Severus' bad temper had rubbed off on her...

"Do I get a greeting like that?" George asked, appearing next to Fred, a cheeky grin on his face. He winked at Hermione.

"I'm too wary of getting Weasley's Wizard Wheezes tested out on me," Hermione replied. She squeezed their shoulders and then plonked herself down at the kitchen table. God, she was exhausted.

This house had been a second home for Hermione during the school holidays and she was comfortable with every member of the family, especially Ginny who had become her best friend over the last couple of years. She'd finally stopped mooning over Harry and had got enough confidence to be her own person. Hermione loved her to bits.

"So we get this owl, saying there's been some raid on your house and we're to escort you everywhere you go..." Ginny said, appearing behind Hermione and giving her a quick backwards hug.

"Yes..." Hermione loved frustrating the hell out of any member of the Weasley family. It was one of her very favourite pastimes. And it was so easy.

Ginny sighed in annoyance.

"And that was it! What's going on Hermione?" she demanded. "Professor Dumbledore said Snape was looking after you, for God sake! Are you all right? Scarred for life? Broken, never to return to your previous, sane self?"

Nearly, thought Hermione, miserably.

She looked at the Weasley's expectant faces and cringed. She hated lying to them, but the more people who knew the truth, the more likely Severus... no, Professor Snape, would be exposed.

Hermione explained the fake version of the events, trying not to get teary when she mentioned Crookshanks. Ginny's tears set her off though and they snuffled together for a good ten minutes, talking about the bandy legged cat they'd both grown to love.

This was how Ron found Hermione when he finally got home from Quidditch practice with Harry. The Gryffindor team had taken to meeting once a week over the school holidays, so they'd be more practiced than Slytherin when term started. Harry treasured these days where he could escape from his Aunt and Uncle, who were still no nicer to him than they had ever been.

Hermione was sniffing into one of George's hankies (after a thorough examination by both Ginny and Hermione, just in case. Although Ginny had been looking for bogeys rather than curses and tricks). Ginny was trying to feed her home-made chocolate chip cookies in an attempt to cheer her up, but one bite of the rock hard baked goods told Hermione that Ginny and Hagrid had at least one thing in common with each other, other than their hairy legs. She reminded herself to teach Ginny the leg waxing charm at some point before term began.

She wondered if they used the same recipe book, but wisely decided not to ask.

"Mione!" Ron burst through the door and immediately went over to her and awkwardly put his arms around her. "Did Snape do this to you? What did he say? I'll kill the greasy bat!"

"No Ron, it's not..."

Harry interrupted Hermione by pushing Ron out of the way and pulling her to her feet.

"Hello Hermione," he said, hiving her a big, warm hug. "Greetings first, explanations later."

Hugging each other had become a habit a year earlier, when Harry had confessed to Hermione that the only hug he ever remembered getting in his life had been from Hagrid. She had hugged him for a good fifteen minutes without letting him go. They'd pulled apart, a little red faced, but it had started off a new more tactile friendship; a friendship Ron didn't approve of, but knew he couldn't really stop without looking like a complete arse.

Both Hermione and Harry knew their relationship was completely platonic, but since she'd got together with Ron he'd been a little touchy about how close they were.

Harry gave Hermione an amused grin, as the second he stepped back from her Ron moved to stand between them. Ron slipped his arm around her waist and blushed at Fred and George's jeers.

"Bugger off, Fred," he said as Fred tried to slip a 'Miracle Grow Condom' into Ron's pocket. It was the latest item in their new line of Adult toys. The problem was that no one ever knew quite how large they would grow, which was sometimes a bit of a passion killer and once had even lead to the RSPCA being called by a terrified neighbour with quite an extreme fear of snakes.

Hermione tried to hide a blush as she tried not to think about a certain Potions Master who really didn't need to use one of those...

The bastard.

It was hard to put him out of her mind, even with the usual Weasley commotion going on around her. She still felt sore and she half felt like she had 'I fucked Severus Snape' written in large letters on her forehead. Wouldn't what she'd done be obvious to everyone somehow?

Someone saying her name loudly jerked her back into the real world.

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?" Ron asked, a little sulkily. He hadn't seen her for three weeks and he'd expected more of a greeting than this, even with his family surrounding them.

Hermione reached up and gave Ron a peck on the lips in apology. She felt vaguely guilty kissing Ron and told herself that Severus Snape, Complete Bastard of Hogwarts, didn't want her anyway. So why was she feeling guilty, as if she were somehow betraying him being with Ron like this?

He didn't want her and Ron did. In fact, Severus Snape didn't deserve her.

The bastard.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against Ron's again. She deepened the kiss by licking his bottom lip with her tongue and sliding it into his mouth, surprising Ron, who almost overbalanced. His family whistled and jeered at them.

She pressed her body closer to his, nibbling on his bottom lip and moving her hips slowly against him.

If she closed her eyes and concentrated enough she could pretend it was...

Oh my God.

She pulled back from Ron with a gasp, stumbling backwards as she shoved him hard to get out of his arms. She tripped and fell into Bill's arms for the second time that day and quickly righted herself, looking for an escape route.

"Getting to be a habit, Hermione," Bill said, with a wink.

Ron glared.

Harry looked worried.

Ginny looked confused.

Fred and George looked amused.

"I just... need some air," Hermione said, pushing her way past the twins into the jungle that was the Weasley's garden.

How could she? How could she kiss Ron and imagine he was Professor Snape? She didn't even like Professor Snape! Okay, she'd fallen into bed with him and he intrigued the hell out of her, but...

This is ridiculous!

She could hear Bill apologizing to an annoyed Ron, before the twins started teasing Ron, telling him it must have been his bad breath. She cringed, feeling guilty.

"Hey," Harry said, letting her know he was there. "Ron's chest is bruised from where you shoved him. Quite strong for a little-un."

Hermione smiled. Harry was a good eight inches taller than her now. He and Ron had grown, while she'd stayed the same height since she was fourteen. She was a month off eighteen now and had long given up hope of ever being tall enough to see over people's heads at Quidditch matches. Then again, it didn't really matter – Harry and Ron's eager yells and shouts of abuse at the referee usually told her what was going on.

"You've been targeted by the Death Eaters, then?" Harry asked, knowing he should probably give her some space and not ask her, but being too curious.

Hermione debated telling him the truth, but instantly got hit with an image of an irate Harry hexing Draco into oblivion. Nice thought the image was, it wasn't hugely practical.

Maybe instead she could find a charm to turn Draco's penis into some sort of a vegetable. Maybe a sprout, or a turnip, or...

"Mione?"

"Oh. Erm... what were you saying, Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "What happened? Whatever it is, you're not acting like our Hermione."

"Death Eaters broke in and messed up the house. They killed Crookshanks, Harry. How could they do that?"

Harry put his hand on her shoulder in what he thought was a comforting manner.

"How did you get away?" he asked, his forehead wrinkling. There was something about all this that didn't make sense.

"I... hid," she said. "When I heard them coming I hid in a secret room until they left. I just wish I'd thought to take Crookshanks."

She tried not to tear up again. She'd really loved that ugly old cat.

Harry put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, stroking her back in a soothing way. "It's probably 'cos of me. They can't get me, so they're turning on my friends. I should have thought about that and talked to Dumbledore."

"It's not your fault, Harry," Hermione said, suddenly worried Harry would blame himself if something happened to her. "They... I... I can't tell you the whole story. But it's definitely not your fault. There is someone to blame, but it's definitely not you."

Harry nodded. He was as curious as hell, but she'd tell him in her own time. He'd learnt over the years that pressuring Hermione made her stubborn and even less likely to tell him anything.

"Harry?" Ron said, coming up behind them both and flicking his head towards the house in an obvious hint for him to go inside and leave him and Hermione alone.

Hermione sighed.

"It's alright Harry. I'll talk to you later," she said, squeezing his shoulder, before turning to Ron.

"Before you say anything Ron, I'm sorry," she said, putting her finger up to silence him. "I'm a little spooked after the whole Death Eater thing and I've had barely any sleep."

She was very proud of herself when she managed not to blush at that last bit.

And do you want to know why I haven't had any sleep, Ron? She said in her head. Because I spent what little time I had fucking Professor Snape. Lost my virginity to him, in fact. And you know, he's bloody good. The bastard.

Instead she said, "I'm tired and scared. I don't know what happened in there." She looked at his sweet, understanding face, knowing he didn't understand anything.

"It's alright, Mione," he said, looking like he wanted to hug her, but wasn't sure how she'd react. "Mum and dad are back. You ready to go?"

She sighed again, wanting to tell Ron that no, she wasn't ready to go. She wanted to curl up in bed and never get out again. Everything was so complicated and scary. Was this how Harry felt every day? Then again, Harry had probably never slept with his Potions Master. At least she hoped he hadn't...

"Let's go," she said, taking his hand and forcing her legs to take her back inside.

They walked back into the kitchen and were greeted by the sight of Bill shrinking Harry's tongue to the proper size, while trying to hide an amused grin.

"I'm going to kill them!" Harry was muttering, feeling his tongue tentatively with his fingers to make sure it was the normal size.

"You fall for it every time!" Hermione scolded, shaking her head at him. "Stop being so trusting! I don't even stand next to them unless I absolutely have to, and I always make sure I have my wand at the ready!"

"Hey! We heard that!" Fred yelled in an offended voice from upstairs, where he and George had run to escape Harry's wrath.

"Then stop trying to turn me into various animals, fruits and vegetables very time you see me!" Hermione yelled back up the stairs.

Maybe they would know a charm for her to turn Draco's bits into vegetables...

"Hello there, Hermione," Mr Weasley's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Hello Mr and Mrs Weasley." Hermione grinned at them.

Molly gave Hermione an almost suffocating hug and Arthur clapped her on the back, making her overbalance again. At least this time she stopped herself falling before Bill had to save her again. He really would think she had a thing about him if she kept on.

After a lot of organizing, followed by a mass hunt for the Floo powder, they were ready to go. The twins and Bill were staying at home to wait for Charlie, who was due home at any moment. He had been away seeing to the runt of a dragon litter, who had been very ill and lonely. Hermione privately thought that sending the baby dragon to Hagrid for some TLC would have been a good idea.

They stepped into the fire and one by one disappeared.

"Here goes," muttered Hermione, throwing her pinch of Floo Powder in and trying not to look too apprehensive. "This is going to be hell."


	8. Chapter 8

After four nights at Ron's house trying to avoid Ron as much as possible by always being attached to Ginny, Hermione was finally at Hogwarts. She threw herself onto her brand new Head Girl's large four-poster bed, closed her eyes and groaned.

She had been talked into staying with the Weasleys for a few days and between avoiding Ron and not thinking about Professor Snape, she was exhausted. Albus had approved of her staying, but had made a pointed comment about how Professor Snape would have to reschedule their meeting if she wasn't going to come straight there. She didn't know how to tell him that she wouldn't be meeting with Professor Snape, because she knew there'd be questions she definitely couldn't answer, however satisfying it would be to make Albus Dumbledore blush.

"Well actually sir, I won't be meeting Professor Snape to talk about the Malfoy situation. Why? Oh, because I fucked him. I also cried out his name as he brought me to orgasm with that amazing tongue of his. So you can probably see why it'd be a little awkward. What? Do I want a Lemon Drop? That's very kind of you, sir."

She snorted, half in amusement, half in despair.

She'd seen her parents and it had indeed been hell. Mr and Mrs Weasley and dragged Harry and Ron out to play in the arcade nearby to give them some privacy, completely ignoring Hermione's 'don't leave me' gestures. Arthur had been thrilled when Harry had shown him how to play 'House of the Dead' and Ron had spent his time there wading through a giant stick of Candyfloss. He'd been covered in it when she'd found him, and the pink had really clashed with his hair.

Left alone in her parents' hotel room, she'd tried to explain the situation in a variety of different ways. In the end she'd gone for being blunt and completely truthful. She even told them exactly how she'd found Crookshanks and that if they stayed in their house, she'd come home to find them like that one day.

Her father had talked about calling the police and her mum had been all teary, but eventually she had made them see sense. It had been easier than she'd expected actually, but a comment from her mum soon explained why.

"That lovely headmaster of yours came to visit again, just before you got here. Brought that professor who looks a bit like a vampire," she'd said. "They were remarkably helpful. Told us you were going to be Head Girl this year."

Albus had told them where he was going to hide them, but had told them not to tell Hermione, much to her curiosity and frustration. Severus Snape had told them he'd take her to visit them once they were settled in. However, he was still a bastard.

Plus, it really didn't sound like him.

The headmaster had told them that they were in danger but had left it to Hermione to explain, which Hermione thought had been pretty crappy of him. It wouldn't have taken much to explain the situation to them himself to save her the hell of her parents just not getting it.

She had a good mind to magically confiscate all his Lemon Drops as a punishment. That'd teach him. Or maybe give him a nervous breakdown of some sort, but still, it would serve him right.

She turned over on her bed, burying her head in her squishy pillows. Being Head Girl had its advantages. She had her own rooms at the top of Gryffindor tower and could feel the magic in them, which told her there would be enough protective charms on the room to make her safe from even Voldemort himself. Maybe especially Voldemort.

She wondered if Albus had made her Head Girl just because he could make her safer that way. She had fewer restrictions, being able to patrol the halls at night if she so wished. She was even allowed into the restricted section of the library, which had been her biggest thrill in getting the post.

She closed her eyes and wished she could just fall asleep fully dressed. She hadn't slept at the Weasley's – sharing a room with Ginny had been hell. Apparently the entire Weasley family snored and it was testament to how frazzled her nerves were that she only thought of using a silencing spell after she'd left their house.

She didn't even have the energy to explore her little set of rooms, but really couldn't allow herself to fall asleep. The rest of the students weren't back for another week, but Harry, Ron and Ginny had accompanied her to school early and she'd promised to meet them downstairs for a game of cards.

If it was Snap they were playing, she was going to go straight back to her rooms to hide. Her head couldn't handle all that exploding...

How on earth was she supposed to do this? Draco would be looking for ways to hurt her at every turn, and she somehow had to make him into a nice person. Draco Malfoy! It just wasn't going to happen. Even if suddenly decided to embrace fluffy bunnies and rainbows and turned against Voldemort, he'd have to go into hiding himself. He'd be in even more danger than she was. Why would he even consider doing that? It was completely pointless even trying. But she had to.

There was a knock on the door.

"Mione!"

As she walked towards the door, she noticed a small black button to the side right of it. She hadn't noticed it before, being too exhausted to take anything in when she'd practically crawled into her Head Girl's quarters and flopped onto the bed.

"Hang on, Ron."

She scrambled off the bed and padded over to the door. She reached out and pressed the button, hoping it wouldn't cause Ron to fall down a trapdoor or anything.

It didn't. As she pressed it, the door disappeared and she could see Ron standing there, in jeans and a t-shirt that said, "I'm With Stupid". No one knew who 'stupid' was meant to be, but Hermione hoped that Draco and his gang never caught sight of it, or they'd never hear the end of it. Last Christmas George had thought it highly amusing to enchant all of Harry's t-shirts to flash the word 'stupid' intermittently in large writing. He really hadn't been amused.

None of the students were wearing their school robes while it was still technically the holidays and it was interesting to see what the Weasleys called 'normal' clothes.

Very sci-fi, she thought, walking through the doorway and smiling at Ron.

"Ouch!" she yelped, walking into something solid. She rubbed her nose and glowered at the door.

I bet Snape did this, she thought viciously. The bastard.

"Erm... what are you doing in there?" Ron asked, pressing his ear to... well, it must have been the door. The invisible door.

"Neat trick," she muttered, waving her wand to open the door that wasn't there. As it swung open, it suddenly became visible again.

"Now that's better than one of those Muggle spy hole things," she said, still rubbing her sore nose.

"It's not even term yet and you've already gone off your rocker," Ron said, looking confused. "Bet you've been studying for your NEWTS all the time you haven't been with me over the summer, haven't you?"

She had, but that wasn't the point.

"Do you have any idea how much we have to know for each of our NEWTS, Ron? I was reading over the syllabus for Charms and for that subject alone we have to..."

"Alright, alright!" Ron said, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the stairs with him. "Lecture me when the term starts. It's still the holidays."

"Are you telling me you haven't opened one book? All summer?" Hermione asked, incredulously. She'd read all the books they'd be working on this term, and more. "How do you pass anything?!"

"I've got a very clever girlfriend who forces me to study," Ron said smiling and pecking her on the lips.

She smiled weakly.

After six games of Rummy and four games of Exploding Snap, Hermione felt she was entitled to tear herself away from the boys and Ginny for the night. She kissed Ron goodnight, keeping her eyes open this time to stop her mind doing anything scary; and hugged Harry, who squeezed her shoulder and told her to yell if she needed anything.

Ginny blew her a kiss, before returning to a very intense game of 'Exploding Solitaire.'

After warding her door with every possible charm she could think of, wishing she dared to ask Professor Snape about that charm he'd used, she explored her new chambers.

They were small, but made up for that with their beauty. There were three rooms; a bathroom, a bedroom and a very small sitting room. Her bathroom had a large, sunken bathtub, which made Hermione long to fill it and sink into some incredibly warm and frothy water. The tiny living room had shelves for her books and a Muggle television and DVD player in the corner.

Albus Dumbledore, you are an amazing man, she thought to herself as she noticed that a few of Albus' own collection of DVDs had been put next to the television. She wondered how many people knew about the Headmaster's love of movies and how many would faint in shock at the bizarre sight of him actually using a DVD player. It was like your mum being able to program the VCR – it just didn't seem right.

She put her old favourite 'Dirty Dancing' into the DVD player and curled up on the squidgy sofa. Who would have guessed Albus Dumbledore was a 'Dirty Dancing' fan? She wondered if he knew any of the moves...

Scary thought.

She rested her head on one of the plush cushions. Now this was the life...

An incessant pecking noise at her window woke her up. She growled at it to go away and leave her in peace, before slowly dragging herself to her feet. A quick glance at the television screen told her that the film had long since finished and the goosebumps on her arms told her she should have conjured a blanket, or at least have cast some sort of warming charm before she'd got settled. God, she was cold.

"Alright, alright," she muttered, opening the window and letting even more cold air in. Trust Scotland to still be bloody freezing in the summer.

When the owl didn't fly in, she growled in annoyance. What on earth was it doing, just hovering out there? She put her hand through the open window and a tingle traveled up her arm.

Ah, magic.

The owl thankfully dropped the note into Hermione's hand the moment she stuck it out, then flew away with a disgruntled hoot.

_Come to the dungeons immediately after breakfast tomorrow. _

S.S 

Short and to the point. She wondered what he wanted. Did he want to apologize for what had happened? No... that wasn't very likely, was it? A very un-Snape-like thing to do. Hell would probably freeze over first. Mind you, it was pretty cold at the moment...

Was he going to yell at her? Now that was much more likely. A few snide and snarky comments and he'd probably be much more at ease with the situation. Not that he'd seemed ill at ease; he'd just been... cold.

She wondered if there was any chance he wanted to make love again and tried to decide if she'd even want to.

Of course she wouldn't. Why would she? It was a mistake. A one-time thing. Emotions had been high. Very sexy chests, and thighs, and arms had been within touching distance...

Gah!

She quickly put the thoughts out of her head with a snort. He had obviously regretted what had happened between them; so much so that he had barely even been civil to her as she left his house.

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

She'd slept with her teacher. And enjoyed it. And now she was as confused as hell and it was all his fault! Part of her hated him and part of her felt so sorry for him. And part of her wanted him to get very, very naked.

And part of her wanted to tattoo 'Bastard' on his forehead... Hmm... tempting.

He'd been so different when they'd been at his house alone together. He'd been more... human. He'd let her see a little piece of him and left her wanting more. Then he'd closed his mind like a large, Snape-shaped hardback book, trapping her fingers in it as he did so.

She picked up a cushion off the sofa and screamed into it, before throwing it back down and storming through to her bedroom. She stripped off every stitch of clothing and searched through her case for a t-shirt to sleep in, shivering with the cold.

Bugger him, she thought. I'm going to go to bed and stop thinking about him.

"Miss Granger?"

She yelped, snatched the cover up off her bed and quickly wrapped it around herself. The voice was coming from the doorway of her living room and it sounded like...

No. It couldn't be.

How had he managed to get past all the wards she knew Albus would have set up for her?

It the few seconds it took for her to recover from the shock and to decide that she really wasn't still asleep on the sofa, the door had opened. There in the doorway stood the unmoving form of her Potions Master, his wand out and pointed at her.

The bastard.

He actually looked even more intimidating than he usually did, down in his dungeons. His face was hard and his eyes flashed. It had been days since she'd seen him last; days she'd had to tell herself that she didn't care that he'd been so cold with her.

And she still didn't care. Really.

His eyes landed on Hermione and he lowered his wand slightly.

"What is wrong, Miss Granger?" he asked, his voice silky and smooth.

"Wrong?" she asked, pulling the cover tighter around herself. He wasn't going to get to her.

What on earth was he doing here?

"Your emotions were high. You screamed." His tone was impatient and he didn't come any closer to her, speaking to her from the doorway.

"My emotions?" Hermione asked, her eyes wide. There was no way he could have known she was thinking about him...?

He sighed and slid his wand back into his pocket.

"I erected a warning system, or rather the headmaster did. When you are scared or your emotions are high, I am alerted."

"Alerted how?" she asked, feeling apprehensive. Okay, she was in danger, but wasn't this a little extreme?

"I feel what you're feeling, but only when your emotions reach a certain level."

An awful thought occurred to Herimone.

"Every emotion?" she asked quietly, biting her lip.

Severus winced, knowing what she was asking.

"Yes, every emotion. I haven't come up with a way to cut out other... erroneous emotions."

Hermione groaned, sitting on the bed in the center of the room and leaning forward so her hair swung forward to cover her face.

"The only emotions I felt were frustration and a little fear," Severus tried to reassure her. "I overreacted, I suppose. Or it is too sensitive. I don't know – this charm is new to me."

He hated not knowing anything and made up his mind to do something awful to Albus Dumbledore. Maybe give him horns and a pointy Devil's tail that would only be removed when he had participated in copious amounts of sex with Filch. And Mrs Norris. A very sexy threesome...

He pulled a disgusted face.

"How did you know I screamed?" she asked, suspiciously.

"At a certain level of emotion, I can hear you speak. It's all part of the charm."

"Is this really necessary, Professor?" she asked, wishing she'd waited an extra two minutes to get undressed. It was difficult to talk to the man when she was dressed like this. Didn't he notice she was sitting talking to him, wrapped in nothing but a red and gold bedcover?

Severus had most definitely noticed. He was having trouble concentrating on what she was saying every time the sheet slipped just a little lower...

He looked at her face, ordering his eyes to go no lower.

Except his eyes were so traitorous when they wanted to be. If the sheet would slip just half an inch further...

"Professor?"

Severus blinked. Oh, she'd asked him something.

"The protective charm was Albus' idea, Miss Granger," Severus assured her, not wanting her to think he'd used the charm to spy on her. "He chose to attach it to me because he thought that I would be preferable to either him, or Professor McGonagall."

"Oh," she said, stupidly. "Right..."

"If you would rather it was attached to one of your other professors it can be arranged."

Hermione thought about Dumbledore feeling how she felt when she got horny in bed at night and shuddered. That was just wrong. Or Professor McGonagall, with her serious face and her strong sense of propriety. God, no.

"No, it's okay," she said after a minute.

It was not even slightly okay. In fact, it was the least okay thing that had ever happened to her. She was going to have to talk to Albus.

Severus couldn't decide whether to be relieved or annoyed. He hadn't wanted to be near the girl, and now he could feel her every time she was annoyed or upset. He was near her constantly and had no choice in the matter.

Thank Merlin it was only when she was in these quarters – he wasn't sure he could cope with that all day, every day. He could feel her a lot more than he'd let on. He'd felt her nostalgia a few hours earlier and her happiness as she'd settled down on the sofa. He'd even sensed she was cold when she woke up a few minutes earlier and had forced himself to suppress the urge to conjure her a warm blanket.

He winced, realizing that he'd probably woken her up with his owl. Not everyone had insomnia and stalked about all night, he reminded himself.

He'd have to have a word with Albus about having the charm made a little less sensitive. He was sure that even Albus would see how inappropriate this situation was if the charm couldn't be altered.

"If you could refrain from having bouts of hysteria until I have had a chance to speak to Professor Dumbledore, it would be much appreciated," Severus said, coldly, before sweeping out of her bedroom.

Hermione followed him, still clinging tightly to her cover. He'd gone.

"Bastard," she muttered under her breath.

How had he got in? There was no fire and no one could Apparate on Hogwarts grounds. She ran her hands over the shelves and walls, feeling for a breech in the protective charms and finding none.

Bloody Severus Snape.

The bastard.


	9. Chapter 9

Hermione woke with a start, completely awake in seconds. She'd been having a dream and she vaguely remembered someone with shoulder-length, black, lank hair in it. She had an idea that he was very possibly starring in said dream. He would even have had his own trailer with a big, gold star on the door and groupies camping outside...

She closed her eyes and forced herself to stop trying to remember. Denial was the way forward, she decided.

She had a quick shower, using a spell to take the water from the tap and make it cascade over her head and into the bath. Showers were so much quicker on a morning, but Hogwarts didn't have one shower cubicle in the whole place. The headmaster could operate a DVD player, but still hadn't acknowledged the existence of showerheads.

She quickly used her towel to get the worst of the water off her hair. She hated it dripping down her back, but didn't have time to dry it properly. She wondered what charm Severus had used to dry her hair so quickly the other night.

Bah. She was back to mentally calling him Severus again. Professor Snape. Professor Snape. Professor Snape. Professor Snape who would be able to feel every strong emotion she had until the headmaster 'fixed' the charm so it wouldn't be so sensitive.

She willed herself calm again, making sure all her emotions were in check. Then she pulled on a pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved t-shirt, ran her fingers through her damp hair, making the curls separate before wandering down to face breakfast in the Great Hall.

She'd never really been a breakfast person, but had eaten a little of something every morning just because she knew that without breakfast the brain couldn't run to anywhere near it's full capacity. And without her morning cup of tea, she couldn't function at all, which was the main reason for coming and suffering the torture that was breakfast. Everyone was so damn cheerful.

God, she loved her morning cup of tea. One sugar (much to her parents disgust, being dentists), a little milk and as strong as she could possibly make it – that was her perfect cup of tea. Harry reckoned you could stand a spoon in it and Ron thought she was mad for drinking tea anyway. He always had pumpkin or orange juice. But where was the caffeine in that? Pointless breakfast drinks.

She walked into the Great Hall, taking in the one small table in the middle. There were so few of them who had arrived early that all the students were at the same table. Luckily there were no Slytherins, or she might have had to forgo her morning cup of tea in the name of peace and quiet.

She kept her eyes focused on her seat, refusing to look up at the teachers' table. She wasn't going to look at Sever... Professor Snape. She wasn't even going to...

Bugger. She'd looked at him.

And he'd been looking right back at her, the bastard.

She held his gaze for about five seconds before she had to look away. Her heart was beating faster, her mouth was dry and she knew he could feel it. She sat down next to Harry and mumbled something that could have been interpreted as 'morning'

Harry put a large mug of almost black tea down in front of her.

"Drink that and we may be able to understand you a bit better."

Bless him.

She drank her tea and started to feel more human again. Severus breathed a sigh of relief – her grogginess had been adding to his already foggy brain and even three cups of incredibly strong coffee hadn't been able to shift it.

Hang on, wasn't this supposed to be limited to when she was in her quarters? Why was he feeling her now? Albus bloody Dumbledore. He was going to kill him.

He leaned forward to get Albus' attention.

"Headmaster, if I might have a word...?" Very few people would recognize the quiet, silky tone for what it was, except Albus, who smiled at his friend's infuriation.

"Certainly, Severus, Certainly," he said, smiling at Severus expectantly.

Severus glowered.

"In private."

"Yes, of course," Albus said, nodding. "After breakfast, perhaps?"

Severus gave a curt nod and went back to drinking his coffee. Luckily he could only hear what she was saying when her mood was a little more intense, so he was free of that curse for most of the time. With extreme concentration he could almost block her out completely.

He wished he'd never let Albus attach the bloody charm to him. He had no idea how to get rid of it, unless the usual 'Finite Incantium' would work and he doubted it would. But maybe it was worth a try? It would be far less disturbing if they broke the charm now and started it again when Albus had fiddled with it. Draco wasn't even due at Hogwarts for another six days and none of his 'friends' were around.

He looked at the table Hermione was sitting at. There were only about ten other students and none of those were Slytherin. They were chatting and joking around Hermione who appeared completely oblivious, sitting drinking her tea, her eyes closed as the caffeine slowly but surely brought her into the land of the living.

She was definitely going to end up a coffee drinker, he decided. He'd started out like that – needing a strong cup of tea before he could feel human in the morning. Then during his seventh year at Hogwarts he'd been introduced to coffee by Lucius Malfoy and had been addicted to the stuff ever since. Strong, sweet coffee. He'd even started making his own coffee blend, although he never let the rest of the staff find out. They'd never let him hear the end of it.

Hermione was bored; he could feel it. He concentrated hard, blocking everything else out of his mind. The word 'Quidditch' popped into his head. Followed by the words, "Kill me, kill me now."

Yes, she was bored.

He stood, breakfast nearly at an end. He was going to get Albus to sort this out if it was the last thing he ever did. He did not need a seventeen year old girl in his head – he hadn't even liked being in his own head when he was seventeen. It wouldn't be at all conductive to brooding and skulking about the hallways when he couldn't concentrate properly on looking intimidating.

And really, life was just miserable without being able to make the students shake and jump at the sound of his voice. How would he have any fun?

He smirked. Then looked down the table to where Albus had been sitting and his smirk turned into a look of dismay and complete infuriation. Albus had gone, his half drunk glass of pumpkin juice mocking Severus from where it stood in his place at the table.

Severus snarled as he strode past the students, making a second year girl jump and spill her tea. Severus was going to kill him. He was going to give him one of his most painful poisons and... he'd have to find him first though, wouldn't he? And that wasn't looking very likely...

After a quick search that Severus already knew would be fruitless, he sent out the same 'tracker' spell as he'd used at Hermione's house, except this time it was specific to Albus. In fact, instead of being a bright blue light, it looked suspiciously like a Lemon Drop.

Moments later, the small yellow, Lemon Drop shaped light returned, looking dejected. Well, as dejected as a small yellow Lemon Drop shaped light can look.

"Albus Dumbledore!" Severus yelled, making the students in the dining room jump. "Get back here at once!"

He waited for a second to see if Albus would suddenly pop up from behind a pillar or something, before sweeping back into the Great Hall. Someone was going to suffer for this.

When he did find Albus, he was going to shove his Lemon Drops where the sun didn't shine... Except, didn't everyone already believe that the sun shone out of Dumbledore's arse?

He grinned to himself and the students tried not to cower. It was a very evil grin.

"I thought I told you to meet me after breakfast, Granger?" he snarled.

Hermione lifted her piece of toast and pointed to it with her other hand.

"My classroom, NOW!" he snarled.

Maybe he hadn't had enough coffee.

Severus had calmed down a little by the time Hermione made her way into his classroom. Not much, but a little.

"Professor Snape?" she asked, nervously.

"Yes."

She sighed. So he was going to be like this.

"You wanted to see me. Although why you couldn't have just told me what you needed to tell me last night, I don't know."

Severus' eyes glinted. "By all means, carry on talking like that, Miss Granger. Gryffindor will be in the red before you can even say 'Polyjuice'."

He let that sink in, watching her eyes widen.

"Sorry, sir," she said, wondering how on earth he could have known. She'd have thought the mention of Polyjuice was just coincidence, except nothing was ever coincidence with Severus Snape.

"I had wanted us to go over your plan of attack, assuming you have one?" He sneered.

Hermione nodded, then looked around the classroom she was so familiar with. She shivered. How could he spend so much time down here? It was dark and dank and just so... miserable.

"Is there somewhere else we can go?" she asked, bracing herself for his reaction. "It's so cold and uncomfortable in here."

Severus raised his eyebrows and she thought he was going to say something suitably cutting. She was surprised when he got to his feet and walked through to the back of his classroom. At a wave of his wand, a door appeared in the very corner of the room. He walked through and the door disappeared again. Hermione gaped at it. All these years spent in this classroom and she'd never realized there was a door there.

"Are you coming or not, Miss Granger?" Severus' voice came to her ears and she quickly followed. The door appeared as she touched the wall and she walked in with a strange feeling of foreboding.

The room was not unlike Severus' living room in his house. It was cosy and strangely warm, especially considering they were still in the dungeons. There were pretty ornaments and a few paintings. Hermione looked more closely at the paintings nearest to her and gasped. They were the most beautiful paintings she'd ever seen and really not what she'd expected Severus to own.

Professor bloody Snape, NOT Severus, she told herself.

The first painting was a beach scene, rocky cliffs and deep blue sea. But the clouds were drifting across the sky and the waves were really crashing against the shore. She could hear the sea and the gulls and... God, it was relaxing.

She moved to the next one. It was a painting of a forest. It was green and lush and she could almost taste the icy cold water, which was flowing over some rocks and into a large pool of water. The trees were rustling and she could hear the water cascading into the deep pool. She wanted to be there, to swim in the cold water and to let it take her breath away. God, it looked amazing.

She was about to move onto the next painting when Severus appeared next to her, taking her attention from the paintings.

"They're beautiful," she whispered.

Severus smiled at the wonder in her voice.

So he'd decided to keep his distance. Well, it wasn't even term yet – surely he could just do this one thing? He wanted to show her, because he knew she'd be so delighted that it would be worth anything just to see the look on her face.

"Give me your hand."

Hermione looked sideways at him and complied, slipping her small hand into his long, slender one. It was warm and sent shivers down her spine.

What was he doing?

Severus reached out and touched the beach painting.

"Close your eyes," he said, looking down at her.

Her heart beat faster.

"Sanctorum," he said clearly and quietly, facing the painting.

Severus looked down at the girl next to him. She still had her eyes closed and it would have been so easy to kiss her. All he had to do was lean forward...

"Open your eyes," he said gently and regretfully, letting go of her hand and stepping back.

She opened her eyes, confused. The sound of the sea was louder and her eyes widened as she realized that she was in the painting.

The sea glistened in the sunlight and the sand looked so soft.

She looked up at Severus with her mouth open.

"I didn't know things like this existed," she said, quietly.

Severus was debating whether or not to shrug off his teacher's robes and sit in the soft sand. It was what he usually did when he was here. In fact in his wilder moments he'd been known to strip off completely and swim in the amazingly warm water. But he wasn't completely sure Hermione would be too happy about that. In fact, she'd probably have a go at drowning him if he tried.

"A very talented witch drew them for me," he told, dropping his robes to the ground, revealing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

The professor wore jeans?

"Very few witches are able to create these and they are worth a small fortune."

Hermione didn't care, she was still trying to get over the fact that Professor Snape wore jeans.

Jeans!?

"Honestly, Miss Granger," he said, exasperated. "Would you kindly remember that I am very skilled in Occlumency and with this bloody spell, I can practically read your mind."

Her eyes widened.

"I'm not in my rooms, Professor Snape," she pointed out nervously.

Severus groaned. He hadn't been going to tell Hermione about this little hiccup and somehow he had anyway. She'd really got to his concentration. Irritating girl.

"No. Apparently there are parts of this spell that Albus didn't bother to verse me on," he answered her, letting his annoyance show.

"I'm not feeling any strong emotions," she pointed out.

"I think proximity may also be a factor," he said, acknowledging that he could feel her far more now than he could at breakfast, when she was quite a distance away.

"I think we should finish this spell," she said, looking panicked.

"Miss Granger, do you really think I would be interested in the thoughts and feelings of a seventeen year old girl? I am trying to sort this out."

Hermione glowered at him.

Actually, Severus hadn't tried anything to end the spell. It would be embarrassing if he really could be terminated with a simple 'Finite Incantium'

"I'm talking to Albus about this," she said, firmly. The sea was beautiful and relaxing, and she could feel the sun warming her skin, but nothing would be quite relaxing enough to stop the panic rising in her chest.

"What do you think I was trying to do this morning?" Severus asked. "Just relax for now. This is as good a place to talk as any – at least no one will hear us here."

He wanted to talk to her about things he didn't want anyone else to hear? Her heart sped up again.

Fear and disgust, she told herself, trying not to stare at his mouth.

"What are you planning on doing about Malfoy?" he asked, silently adding at the end, "the prat."

Oh.

"I don't really know, Professor," Hermione confessed miserably. "I mean, he's going to try to do things to hurt me and I don't know how to prevent that, or even what he might do."

"I could talk to him," Severus began.

"No, you can't," she interrupted. "He'll suspect something if you suddenly start trying to help me. Stop trying to get yourself killed! There are some people who do actually care whether you're dead or alive, you know!"

He closed his eyes, refusing to let her see that she'd hit a nerve.

"Let me finish, Miss Granger." Severus' voice had an exasperated edge to it.

Hermione gave him a hard look.

"Go ahead."

"Most generous of you."

Her hard look turned into a glower.

"I was thinking of advising Malfoy on how to... get you. Steering him away from harming you, while discovering what he's planning to do, so we can take precautions."

Take precautions. Honestly. He made it sound like...

Oh My God.

Precautions.

Hermione sat up from where she'd settled herself on the sand, then quickly scrambled to her feet.

"Get me out of here," she said. "Now."

Severus rose to his feet and picked up his robes.

His heart was beating fast and he could feel bile rising to his throat. What on earth was wrong with her? If she didn't calm down she'd end up giving him high blood pressure.

He looked at her, debating whether it would be so wrong to just dip into her mind...

"Don't you fucking dare, Severus Snape," Hermione said, her panic overriding any sense of propriety. "Keep out of my head."

Severus' eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair.

"Might I remind you that technically we're still on Hogwarts grounds and I'm about to assign you more detentions than has ever been heard of in the history of Hogwarts."

"Just get me out of here."

"Miss Granger, Hermione..." he said gently. "What is wrong?"

Hermione took a chance. She turned away from the sea and stared up into the cliffs and said, "Finite Sanctorum."

Severus stared at the spot where she'd been standing and shook his head. Clever little witch. Or insane little witch. What on earth was wrong with her? This Draco situation seemed to be getting to her more than he thought – he'd have to have a world with Albus. If he ever found him.

He shook his head, then shrugged to himself before stripping off his clothes, walking quickly across the hot sand and diving gracefully into the sea.


	10. Chapter 10

To everyone who reviewed: Thank you, thank you, thank you! :o)

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Both Hermione and Severus had restless nights; Severus spent the night trying to tell himself that he hadn't been the one to upset Hermione and he didn't care in the slightest even if he had. Now if she would just get the hell out of his head...

Hermione spent the night alternately asking herself how she could have been so bloody stupid, then being in complete denial and telling herself that there was no chance at all that she could actually be pregnant.

She was the Head Girl, for God sake. She was meant to advise other girls on contraception. She even had a stock of contraceptive potions that she could give out if the girls needed them. The most intelligent witch Hogwarts had seen in years, and somehow she'd been so incredibly stupid. Why hadn't she thought?

She counted the days since her last period. Two weeks and two days. She closed her eyes and groaned again, turning over and getting tangled in the sheets for the umpteenth time that night. She cursed Severus, she cursed herself and she cursed Albus Dumbledore.

She had waited outside the headmaster's office for far longer than was necessary in a desperate attempt to get the charm removed. Then she'd gone to the library and had spent hours trying to find any information she could on the charm itself. Except there hadn't been a mention of it in any of the hundreds of books she'd gone through. Her head hurt and her eyes were sore and the bloody spell was still in place, which meant that there was no way Hermione could resort to her usual way of getting to sleep.

So instead of curing her insomnia in ten minutes, she lay awake all night trying to predict what would happen if she was pregnant. Was she someone who could face an abortion? Was she someone who could face all those sleepless nights that seemed to go along with motherhood? She liked her sleep far too much. And what would she do? Say "Sorry newborn baby, I need my coffee on a morning before I can possibly be awake enough feed you and change that nappy. Just watch TV for a while. Read a book."

God, he'd die of shock if he ever found out she was even slightly worried about the possibility of pregnancy. She supposed that he'd just assumed she'd taken care of it. She wondered what the chances were of him being nicely sterile... Did he carry his wand in his pocket a lot? There was a lot of research going on at the moment about the effect of wand carrying on sperm counts.

He'd made it clear he didn't want anything further to do with her, so what would happen if she was pregnant with his baby?

She rolled over in bed again and groaned, tired of thinking. What time was it?

3:44am

She groaned again and in the Dungeons Severus heard her and glowered. She wasn't helping him sleep. He debated coming up to her quarters and giving her some Dreamless Sleep draught, but decided against it. He didn't want to keep seeing her; it was bad enough that he had been thinking about her ever since she made that bloody hysterical exit from his painting. Besides, he didn't have any Dreamless Sleep made up and he'd be dammed if he was getting up to do it now.

He stretched and turned his pillow over, so that his cheek could press against the nice cool side of the pillow. Right... sleep. He could do this. Just relax...

He suddenly sat up straight in bed, his eyes wide.

She wasn't?

She wouldn't.

He felt himself getting hard and bit his lip. This was just wrong. He was going to lie there and block her out of his mind. If he could keep Voldemort out, he could keep Hermione Granger out.

But he could actually feel her fingers getting wet as she touched herself.

He burrowed his head in the pillow and groaned.

"Albus! You stop this at once!" he shouted into his darkened room. This was all his fault.

God, she was touching her breasts, playing with her nipples.

She was evil. She must know that he could feel her.

In reality, Hermione had grown past caring. She needed to sleep. She had Professor Binns in the morning and it was difficult enough to stay awake in those classes. She had to resort to this. And maybe Sev... Professor Snape would be asleep.

Her fingers moved faster, one hand on her breast and the other making fast circles over her clitoris.

She was picturing Severus' head between her legs, his fingers sliding inside her. It was only a small shock when she heard his voice.

"Slide your fingers inside."

His voice was thick and husky; like it had been the night they'd made love. That couldn't possibly be him?

"Slide them in. Fuck yourself with them."

She groaned and did as he asked, sliding two fingers inside and moving them in and out slowly.

Severus groaned. He grasped his cock tighter and licked his lips. God, he wanted to taste her. He could feel how wet she was and how ready she'd be.

"Move your fingers faster. Harder."

He felt Hermione shiver, at the edge of her orgasm.

"Make yourself come for me, Hermione." His hand moved faster, his eyes closed. He was feeling what she was on top of the pleasure he was feeling and God, it was amazing.

He felt Hermione hold her breath, before he was completely lost in sensation. He fucked his hand, imagining her beneath him. She was coming, or was he coming? He cried out, his free hand gripping the sheets.

He slumped back against his pillow, trying to catch his breath, while Hermione did the same in her bed up in the Gryffindor tower.

He wondered whether he should say something. She could hear him before, could she now? But he wasn't sure what to say.

"Bloody hell," Hermione said breathily in his head.

Yes... bloody hell. Severus covered his eyes with his hands and groaned in despair.

The next morning the tea wasn't doing her any good at all. She'd had four cups and the caffeine still hadn't kicked in. It wasn't helping that Severus wasn't at the breakfast table. Was it because of her? Was he too ashamed to face her? Was he disgusted with her? He usually turned up, if only for his morning cup of coffee.

By the time the bell sounded for the end of Professor Binns' class, Hermione had managed to half convince herself that the night before hadn't happened. She even managed to convince herself that there was no way she could be pregnant; and it was a much more positive Hermione who walked down the steps to the first Potions class of the year. That was until she walked headfirst into Draco Malfoy, reeking of some expensive aftershave as usual.

"Alright Mudblood?" Draco asked, a smug grin on his face. "Heard about your cat. Really tragic. You should really keep a better eye on the things you care about, Granger. There are some really nasty people out there."

"And some just smell really nasty, Malfoy," Hermione responded, matching his sneer. She knew this wasn't really the way to get Draco to turn from a snake snogging, Voldemort worshipping prat into a lemon drop eating Dumbledore follower, but this was Draco for God's sake. How could she possibly be nice to someone like him?!

"I'd watch who you're talking to. Nasty things happen to Gryffindors who think they're clever."

He shoved her hard, almost knocking her to the floor before striding into the classroom, the ever-present 'smug git' smirk on his face. She was just glad Harry and Ron hadn't witnessed Draco's little performance, or Draco would be upside-down in a cauldron by now, that day's potions ingredients shoved up his arse; and Gryffindor would be minus an awful lot of points.

Hermione followed him into the dungeon classroom with confidence that she didn't really have. There he was, the bastard. He was standing at the front of the class, looking intimidating as usual. The sight of him made her catch her breath and she wasn't even sure why. This was probably what happened when you spent the morning with your eyes searching constantly for someone. His eyes lifted to meet hers and her steps faltered. Harry walked into her, jolting her, but she kept her eyes focused on his as Harry muttered an apology and went to sit down.

He'd told her to fuck herself with her fingers. He'd come as she touched herself. He'd told her to come for him. She shivered in hyper awareness.

Her eyes searched his for as long as she dared and came up with nothing. All those years as a spy in Voldemort's camp had really paid off, she decided. He looked more... brooding than usual, but nothing out of the ordinary. Mind you, how does a man look who's had a telepathic mutual masturbation session with his student?

At least I'm individual... she thought.

She wondered if he'd felt her exchange with Draco? Did he care?

She sat next to Ron, leaving Harry to partner Seamus. It would be strange being in a class so small. Not many people had chosen to take their Potions NEWT this year and Hermione wondered if this bothered the inaccessible man.

She half smiled, thinking that the Professor was probably disappointed in himself that as many students had dared to return to subject themselves to his tender mercies. There were ten of them altogether; two Slytherins, four Gryffindors, one Hufflepuff and three Ravenclaws.

Of course one of the only two Slytherins would just have to be Draco Malfoy, partnered by Pansy Parkinson. How on earth had she managed to get into this class? It was a wonder she'd passed any of her OWLs at all. Had she bribed her way in? Maybe using sexual favours on everyone's favourite Potions Master?

She felt an acute stab of jealousy.

Maybe Severus Snape did this with all his students? Why did she think she was special?

She was suddenly aware of a presence behind her. She realized who it was when a cold voice said in her ear, "fifty points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger."

Her head snapped up to look at him. High emotions... Oh God. Had he heard what she had been thinking about him?

One look at his slightly paler face and his dangerously glittering black eyes told her that he had. There was no doubt about it. And why else would he have taken so many points? It wasn't like she'd come in naked, or had time to even get her things out, let alone botch up a potion that badly.

Was he allowed to take points off her for her thoughts?

Harry and Ron were both looking confused, trying to work out exactly what Hermione had done to deserve the removal of so many points. Ron bit his tongue to stop himself complaining loudly and pointing out that she hadn't even bloody well done anything!

"I'm sorry sir," she said, quietly, closing her eyes in misery. She hadn't really thought that he would have slept with Pansy Parkinson, or any of his other students. After all, Pansy had a face like a bull terrier, a particularly slobbery one at that. She knew that what had happened between them had been a one off; a slip on his part.

He sighed, feeling angry and sad all at the same time. Did she really think he was that kind of a person?

Not that I care what she thinks of me, Severus told himself. But that's not the point.

"So am I, Miss Granger," he said, his tone almost making it sound like an apology. Suddenly aware of the rest of the class, who were staring at them with a combination of smug (the Slytherins) and confused (everyone else) expressions, he thought quickly. He didn't want anyone to be suspicious of the nature of their relationship, especially not Draco.

"You will make up for the late submission of your Holiday project in detention this evening."

Hermione's eyes widened and Severus smiled inwardly as he watched her suppress the urge to deny ever having done such a thing. The fabulous Miss Granger? Turn homework in late?

Now that must really be stinging, he thought with some satisfaction.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ron's flabbergasted expression as Harry mouthed, "Late submission?! Hermione?!"

"Yes, Professor," she said in a cold voice, almost cold enough to rival his at his most intimidating. Her eyes flashed.

Impressive, for a Gryffindor...

The words echoed around Hermione's head and she knew Severus had just put them there. She glowered.

"It's just that the subject matter of my project wasn't really to my taste. As interesting as transgenderising potions are, sir, I really don't understand your fascination with them."

Her voice dripped with insinuation and even Draco Malfoy's mouth dropped open, before turning into an amused grin. He tried to disguise his laugh as a cough at the same time as Ron and Harry did the exact same thing.

Severus shot them a silencing glare, which was intimidating enough to wipe the smile of even Draco's face.

"Detention for the next three weeks, Miss Granger. And a further fifty points from Gryffindor."

He swept to the front of the class.

"Now, if your brains haven't completely melted over the summer, I will begin."

He shot a look at Hermione, feeling her fury at him.

Good, he thought. Let her be furious. How dare she suggest that he was the kind of man who would sleep with students? How DARE she?

A small and sheepish voice in Severus' head reminded him that, as a student he had indeed slept with, she did have every right to think that.

He could put her right, he thought. Tell her that it had been a moment of weakness and she'd just felt so good. He'd needed her at that moment; needed to be loved by someone, even if it wasn't real.

No. That wouldn't help. It was all in the past – a ridiculous mistake on his part. But if she wanted to think that he was someone like Lockhart, who had tried to get nearly every member of his Seventh Year class to serve 'detention' in his chambers, then she could. If it made her hate him more, well, it wasn't his problem.

Which was what he was still telling himself when she turned up for her detention a few hours later.

"Miss Granger," he acknowledged.

"Professor," she replied, using the exact same tone. His eyes narrowed.

"I did have some crocodile's eyeballs for you to peel, but then I thought of something you'd enjoy even more."

His grin was decidedly evil and Hermione glowered at him. He felt a stab of hurt, but it wasn't his hurt he was feeling, it was hers.

He winced.

He'd had every intention of sending her out to Hagrid and having him keep an eye on Hermione as she scraped the tongues of the latest herd of Bushnaps. Bushnap scrapings were as vile and smelly as the Bushnaps themselves and he'd been quite proud of this punishment when he'd thought of it.

Except there she stood, her back stiff and straight, her eyes refusing to meet his. He'd hurt her, he realized. God, consciences were a curse.

He turned on his heel and strode through the hidden door into his quarters, barking an order over his shoulder for her to follow him.

She walked warily in after him, refusing to look to the left, where those paintings were. It was all too... confusing.

She looked up, realizing Professor Snape had disappeared into another room. Was she supposed to follow?

"I haven't got all evening, Miss Granger."

Apparently she was.

As she entered the room, she wrinkled her nose in confusion. Somehow, this was the exact same room she'd seen at his house, the one with all the books and the gorgeous white rug in front of the fireplace. It had to be the same room.

"How...?" she asked, confused.

"This door acts as a portal during term time," Severus explained, watching her face.

He didn't add that he was no longer sleeping in the bedroom in the house, because the one time he had tried he'd awoken from incredibly vivid dreams about her. Now he was sleeping in one of the dungeon rooms, leading from the living room. It was comfortable enough and had the added bonus that he'd never slept with Hermione in it. And he was never going to – or he'd have nowhere left to sleep.

God, she was beautiful. He looked at her as she looked around the room, then looked back at him. After a minute or so, Severus realized that she was waiting for him to set her detentions task. He'd been staring at her for far to long.

"What do I have to do?" Hermione asked. She had been resigned to doing something like milking newts for hours, but was now a little thrown by the room Professor Snape had brought her to. Was he going to make her sweep his chimney or something?

Severus thought for a moment, trying to decide whether to give in to his compassionate side, or his annoyed side. Compassion, and guilt, won out.

"You didn't deserve the detentions I set you. However, I can't let the other students think I am letting you off so easily. You have access to any book I have in my possession. Read as long as you like, tonight and every other night of detention you have." He pulled a face, half fighting the words as he spoke the words.

"What?" Hermione's had to concentrate to stop her mouth hanging open.

He hesitated; speaking his feelings not being something he was used to, or at all comfortable with.

"I know you think that I am..." he hesitated, unsure of what he wanted to say.

She waited patiently, her eyes holding his as he struggled for the words.

"What happened between us..." he said, quietly, looking at the floor. "I've never..."

He gave an exasperated and angry sigh.

"I have never harmed any of my students, Miss Granger. I have never touched one in any manner... until you. But you have every right to think what you did. I had no right to punish you for that."

Hermione blushed.

"That wasn't... I mean, I didn't mean that, sir. I respect you and I know you wouldn't..."

Except he had, hadn't he?

Severus closed his eyes and pushed the hair back of his face.

"The circumstances were unusual," he said, then added in a quiet mutter that Hermione only just heard, "Not that it excuses what I did."

"What you did?" Her voice was quiet. "Because I had absolutely no choice in the matter, did I?"

Severus ignored her. Hermione had got carried away that day, he told himself. Even if she had come to her senses and wanted him to stop, he was her Professor; an authority figure. Feisty as she was, she wasn't the type of person to stand up to someone like him. He really was the only one to blame. Had she even wanted him at all? She'd wanted to comfort him, but had she wanted him to kiss her?

"Miss Granger, you need never be afraid of me... touching you again."

His mind was cast back to the night before; where he had told her to fuck herself with her own fingers. He closed his eyes and tried to force back the headache that was fighting to the surface.

"I will have Albus rid us of this charm, rest assured," he said, wanting to reassure her that he wasn't after her in any way. "Until then, maybe some Dreamless Sleep draught for us both?"

She blushed again. Or had it just been one long blush? It really felt like she hadn't stopped blushing since it happened.

"I owe you an apology for that, sir," she said, forcing the words out. "I was just so tired..."

"Don't apologise, Miss Granger. If I had responded in a different way I could accept your apology, but I didn't, so your apology is ridiculous and unnecessary."

Hermione sighed as a wave of depression came over her. Okay, she'd got the point; he regretted everything that happened. It was shocking to get an apology at all, being that this was Professor Snape she was talking to, but it hadn't made her feel any better. It wasn't his fault; it had been a mutual thing. Did he really think it hadn't been?

She studied his serious face as he watched her. He'd said his bit, made his apology and now his conscience was clear. Did this man have no feelings at all?

The man with no feelings was currently fighting the urge to throw himself on his knees and beg for forgiveness, but of course, Hermione could never have know that. He felt so... unworthy of having even touched her. He would have been prepared to do anything for her.

Summoning all her Gryffindor courage, she walked over to him, so she was standing only an inch or so away form his straight backed, stiff shouldered form.

"I understand your need to apologise," she said, carefully. "You are my teacher, and what happened between us shouldn't have."

Severus closed his eyes again. Hadn't they just been over this?

"But you seem to have this idea that what happened was all your fault; that I didn't want you as much as you wanted me."

She hoped he'd really wanted her, anyway. She was sure he had at the time, however much he'd regretted it afterwards.

"Well you're wrong, sir," she said, trying to bite back the tears. It was suddenly all getting to her; the fact that he'd been so cold with her so soon after they'd made love; the strain she'd been under all day, wondering whether there was any way she could be pregnant; Draco Malfoy plotting to hurt her. It was all too much.

Severus stared at her, part of him longing to delve into her mind to discover what she was thinking. What did she want? What was she trying to say? That she'd really wanted him?

He snorted. Yes, because that was likely, wasn't it? Because everyone wanted him, with his greasy hair, very large nose, sallow skin and very unpleasant demeanor. Yes, people were practically fighting to get into his bed.

Hermione had been watching him, trying to find an emotion in that impassive face of his. Was he misunderstanding her deliberately? She could read the disbelief in his eyes.

"Miss Granger, I appreciate your attempt, however futile, to appease my conscience in this matter. However, if you don't mind I would like to bury this whole subject."

He jumped as Hermione snarled under her breath. What on earth...?

"Actually Professor, I do mind," she growled at him. "You have barely looked at me since that day."

Severus stared at her, suddenly speechless.

"And fine, you regret sleeping with one of your students. Especially a know-it-all Gryffindor like me," she added bitterly. "But you could at least care. I don't mean I want you to fall in love with me or anything ridiculous like that, even supposing you do have a heart. But you could at least act like I'm something more than just another student."

She looked at him. He almost looked shocked.

"Except, I'm not more than that, am I?" she said, suddenly feeling defeated. "You feel guilty, but nothing more. I really could have been Pansy Parkinson, couldn't I?"

Ten or more different emotions fought to the surface of Severus' mind. Incredulity won.

"Are you expecting me to believe that you have some sort of schoolgirl... crush on me?"

Hermione kept her face impassive. "You don't believe anyone could care for you in any way, do you Professor? No, I'm not expecting you to believe that at all. I may be young, but I most certainly am nothing like the rest of the girls in my year. I am not so immature that I would experience a schoolgirl crush."

She spoke the words 'schoolgirl crush' with obvious distaste, before starting to pace. Severus relaxed slightly. This Hermione he remembered; it was far less scary than the Hermione who had been standing staring up at him like she was about to burst into tears.

Hermione suddenly stopped in front of him, making him jump. "Fine, what happened between us wasn't planned and wasn't even sane, but I was not an unwilling participant. Stop shouldering all the blame and have a little faith in my intelligence."

Severus looked at her, completely unsure of what to say. He refused to believe that someone like Hermione would ever voluntarily sleep with him. A horrible thought hit him. Had she done it out of pity?

He stared at her in horror.

For once Hermione had been quick enough to catch his emotions before he'd managed to hide them. She felt her heart ache for the man who really believed no one would want him for who he was.

She reached up and touched his face, anticipating his jerk backwards as he recoiled from her touch and moving with him, her hand still on his cheek.

He turned his head away, so he didn't have to look at her and her hand slid into his hair. He reached up and grabbed her wrist tightly in his hand, lowering it to her side.

"I don't need your pity, Miss Granger," he said, his voice so cold it made Hermione tense and almost reconsider carrying on the conversation.

"And you don't have it," Hermione said, her wrist still held tightly in his hand. She tried not to wince. "No one pities you; they fear you or even loathe you, but no one pities you. I hate the games you are forced to play, but that isn't pity either. I did not sleep with you out of pity."

She felt his grip on her wrist tighten and couldn't decide whether it was a good or a bad sign.

"You think that no one could possibly care for you. I don't know whether that's because of lies people have been feeding you; or that you have been so brutalized and demolished by people who should have shown you love and understanding, that you just can't trust in anyone anymore. Even yourself."

His face barely flickered with any sort of recognition of her words, but inside he was suddenly hit with the urge to cry. He wondered briefly how this girl had this effect on him every time he was alone with her. It really wouldn't help the big scary image he had, would it? First Years would no longer cower in terror, they'd just hand him a big box of Kleenex and go on their way.

"But I care, Severus Snape," she said, gently working her wrist out of his grip and reaching up to run a finger down his strangely hot cheek.

He looked at her, his hands by his sides, not daring to reach out for her.

"I know I don't really know you," she continued. "And you'd run a mile if you thought I did. But I can see some of what you are, and what you could be."

"You've made your point, Miss Granger," Severus spoke, in a low voice. He needed to get away – to be alone. He wanted to think and recover from this attack on his mental barriers.

"No, I haven't."

Hermione slid her fingers into his hair and half smiled as she felt a shiver go through him at her touch.

"I wanted you. I still want you. If anyone should feel guilty, I should, because I know how much you regretted what happened."

"You're my student..."

"Yes, I know. And that is the only reason I'll let you keep; the only reason that what we did was wrong."

"You think I'm something I'm not." His voice was choked, almost like he was in pain.

"I don't know what you are. You don't know what you are."

She stood on her tiptoes, her hand still in his hair and lifted her face to his. She softly pressed her lips against his, before releasing him and walking out of his chambers and back up to the Gryffindor common room. She didn't know what she would tell anyone who asked why she was out of detention so early, but she knew that she needed to give Severus; yes, she had every right to call him Severus; some space.


	11. Chapter 11

If Hermione had expected some miraculous change in Severus' attitude to her after their conversation, she would have been sorely disappointed. Luckily she knew him better than to think he'd act any differently with her, though it didn't stop the sting of hurt every time he saw her and just looked through her.

The day after their conversation, Hermione had Potions last thing in the afternoon. She'd looked for a change in him and had seen none at all. He hadn't looked at her, and had barely commented on her potion. This was how he had been for two weeks now and it was really starting to hurt, however much she pretended it didn't.

She'd expected to see him in her detention that evening but instead, five minutes before she was due to grab her bag and leave, she'd received an Owl telling her to go straight to his library for her detention, and every detention after that. The protective charms had been lowered for her, but he was never there. She'd given up wondering where he'd gone to hide from her. It was funny; she'd never thought Severus would be a coward.

So she read in his library for hours each night, hoping he'd appear, telling herself that wasn't the reason she was doing it. But not once did he come to see her, or even come into his quarters while she was there.

The last night she'd been there she'd even tried looking for him, tentatively opening his bedroom and his bathroom doors, hoping he'd be in there. The chances of catching him naked in his deep, marble bath outweighed the chances of catching him on the toilet, she'd decided as she'd hesitated outside the door. So he'd curse the hell out of her for not respecting his privacy – she'd probably die happy if she could just see that body all wet and slippery...

She'd started fantasizing about him all the time and wasn't even really sure why. He just seemed to have got under her skin. But with the linking Charm still active, she hadn't been able to do anything about all the pent up frustration. It was killing her - she was constantly turned on, but she daren't risk him feeling her again. She felt rejected enough, without him thinking that she not only cared about him, but she still wanted him. He'd probably quit his job and leave the country if he thought she was actively trying to pursue him, she decided.

Every now and again, when she was happy, or depressed, or excited, she'd be able to feel him, because she knew he could feel her. She knew he'd started using Occlumency to block out as much as he could, and the one time he'd talked to her in those two weeks, had been to tell her that he'd found a spell to dampen the Charm a little. Neither of them had managed to get to talk to Albus in private to get him to remove it completely. Albus Dumbledore was incredibly... sneaky. Hermione was almost impressed, if not a little baffled as to why Albus would want to subject them both to this hell. Maybe all the sugar had finally started to rot his brain.

Severus had spoken to her directly just once, when he'd held her behind after class one day. She'd waited, her heart in her mouth, wondering what he would say to her. She didn't know whether she was disappointed or relieved when he had just asked her how things were going with Draco and if she'd made any progress.

She'd answered that she was, 'trying' and then had picked up her bag and stalked out. Two could play that game, she decided.

In fact, she was making absolutely no progress with Draco at all. The couple of times he'd spoken to her were to taunt her about Crookshanks with incredibly obvious comments that made even Ron and Harry think he'd been responsible for the cat's violent death.

She wasn't sure what to do and wondered if Severus had even bothered to talk to Draco about her.

The fact that her words obviously hadn't gotten through to Severus had briefly put Hermione in a sort of depression. She'd avoided Harry, Ron and Ginny for most of the two weeks, only really seeing them at meals, when she didn't speak very much anyway. Usually she was far too busy trying not to look up to the High Table, where she knew Severus would be pointedly not looking at her.

She had thought a lot about why he was avoiding her so much and had decided that she would never understand the man. He didn't want her to, so she never would. The only reason she could think of for him avoiding her so studiously was the fact that Severus might be scared of letting her in. And if that was true, she wasn't sure what she could do to change that, so she avoided him as much as possible too. Not that it really made much of a difference with him never being anywhere near her unless he was forced to be.

Hermione felt hurt every time she thought about him, yet the thought of him still sent shivers down her spine. She spent most of her potions class in a constant state of arousal, as he lectured them all in that sexy, resonant voice. That combined with the fact that she couldn't stop wondering why he was being so cold with her meant that she found herself in the completely unprecedented situation of not being able to concentrate in class. Usually Severus would have pulled her up for it, but instead he'd barely even seemed to notice.

To stop her wanting to touch herself when she got into bed, Hermione was sitting up all night in the library until she was so tired she could walk up to her bedroom and fall asleep the second her head hit the pillow. The library was open 24 hours a day to certain members of the student body, and all the staff and Hermione took full advantage of that.

Staying in the library all the time also had the added bonus of letting her avoid Ron. She had somehow managed to avoid being alone with him for more than a few minutes at a time and couldn't decide whether to feel guilty or relieved. She knew she should just break things off with him, but with all the upheaval in her life at the moment, she didn't want to add Ron hating her to it.

The library was definitely the best part of being a Head Girl she decided, as she ran her hands over the pages of the Ancient Magic tome she had waited seven years to read. It was supposed to be the only book that had ever come anywhere near depicting how Wizards had really come into being, because there were quite strong theories that they hadn't always existed in society.

Hermione's personal favourite theory was that magic came about when a Muggle had such a high level of intelligence there was no other available outlet for it. A lot like the book 'Matilda' actually, she thought to herself, wondering if Roald Dahl was a Wizard who subscribed to the 'intelligent Muggle' theory.

Although she supposed that people like Crabbe and Goyle would make anyone doubt that theory.

She was leaning back in her chair, stretching her back, when a sudden stab of pain knifed through her head. She clutched her head and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. This wasn't the sort of pain that you got from reading for too long; she couldn't think; she couldn't move; she just had to ride it out.

The pain started to fade and Hermione relaxed her body and warily opened her eyes, wondering if it would come back again. She opened her eyes wider and looked around. Still nothing. She couldn't see anything; the library had gone black.

Panicked, she groped around in the darkness for her wand. It had been somewhere on the table.

"Lumos!" she said, her voice shaking slightly as her fingers finally found it. What had caused this sudden blackout? Was this anything to do with Draco? Had he somehow got rid of all the lights so he could get her without anyone noticing?

"Lumos!" she said again.

Nothing. Why wasn't her wand working?

She got to her feet and walked as confidently as she could to the exit of the library. It was lucky that she'd spent so many hours in there, or she might never have found her way out.

God, being lost in a library with no light. It would be like Ron being in a sweet shop with his hands tied and mouth taped shut...

She finally reached the place where she was sure the door was and was groping for it along the wall, when she was hit with another incapacitating stab of pain. She fell to her knees with a scream and clutched her head again. It was like her skull was being broken in two.

She crawled forwards, forcing her hands from her head to feel for the door again. She had to get help. She had to find someone to stop the pain. Severus. She wanted Severus.

"Severus!" she screamed as loud as she could.


	12. Chapter 12

Severus was just walking up the stairs to Dumbledore's office when the second bout of pain struck. He gritted his teeth and tried to block it out with every Occlumency trick he'd ever learned. When he'd managed to subdue the pain enough to think, he walked slowly up the stairs, not seeing where he was going, too busy fighting the pain in his head. The pain that wasn't his, but Hermione's.

The door opened before he'd even had a chance to knock on it and Albus gestured Severus into his office, a serious look on his face.

"Where is she, Albus?" he asked, through gritted teeth. "What's happening to her?"

"I fear I know even less than you in this instance, Severus," Albus replied, his voice grave. "Can you sense where she is?"

"I can barely sense where I am with this pain in my head," he snarled. "Merlin knows how bad it will be for her, first hand. How can you not know where she is?"

"I have sent all the portraits to find her. They should only be a few minutes." He took out his wand, murmured a few words, then tapped Severus on the head.

"What are you...?" His voice faltered as he brought his fingers to his temples. He couldn't feel her. The pain had gone and she had gone. He suddenly felt almost bereft. He couldn't even try to talk to her now. He didn't know what she was feeling anymore. He had no way to help.

"Put the Charm back," he snarled again. "I have to help her."

"You won't be any help if you can't think."

"For fuck sake." He paced up and down the office, shoving chairs out of his way as he went. "I'm thinking just fine. Put the Charm back."

He couldn't believe he was practically begging Albus to put the bloody thing back, when he's spent so long trying to get him to remove it. He would so get his revenge later, maybe at some time when Hermione wasn't in mortal danger.

"Out of interest Severus, have you tried your little tracking charm yet?"

Severus winced and closed his eyes in part annoyance, part mortification. How could he not have thought of that? The only excuse was the Crucio-like pain that had been slicing through his brain, but he'd thought himself out of situations under worse pain than that. Just.

Hermione was not good for his mind at all, he decided. He'd spent the last two weeks avoiding her, trying to keep her out of his head, but he still hadn't been able to stop thinking about her.

She'd said she'd cared about him and the thought terrified him, because he couldn't care back. He just wasn't that kind of person, and she'd only end up being hurt. So instead he had stayed away from her, telling himself that she'd soon get over the foolish idea that she could somehow get close to him.

Seeing her in classes was unavoidable of course, but other than that he'd kept contact to a minimum. She'd had no idea that he'd stood in the doorway of his library most nights, watching her as she'd curled up on his rug with a book. He'd watched as she'd turned every page, completely engrossed in what she was reading, except for the odd brief glances to the door, which she'd always left open. He'd half wondered if she could see him, despite the invisibility cloak, before realizing that she was looking through him, into the living room, hoping he'd appear.

He'd almost shrugged his cloak off and gone to curl up on the rug with her. He'd longed to lie behind her, wrapping his arms around her from behind, pulling her warm body into his chest. But instead, he'd settled for moving to sit near her, so close he could smell the distinctive shampoo she used.

He had almost been discovered when she'd risen to her feet and had almost trodden on him. He'd watched as she'd got up and wandered out of the library. She'd peeped into his bedroom and bathroom, obviously looking for him. He could tell that she'd briefly considered going through the library and into his house to search there, but for whatever reason had reconsidered.

He had admitted to himself as he'd followed her around his quarters, that he was acting almost like a stalker. It was all very well not letting Hermione have contact with him, but he was still constantly watching her. He was never going to get her out of his head that way. But still he watched, telling himself that it would be over in a week, when the detentions were over. He'd work on getting her out of his head then, instead.

He berated himself for not having spent more time looking out for her. He still hadn't talked to Draco. He cringed with guilt as he cast the spell to track Hermione down. This time the light was a curious molten silver, sort of like a little ball of mercury floating down the stairs. Very pretty...

He followed it, not able to wait until it came back to him. He was almost running, trying to keep up with the ball of light as it flew rapidly towards the library.

The library, of course! She practically lived in there. If only she'd stayed in his own library to read then he'd have been with her. He could have saved her from whatever it was that had hurt her.

He suddenly felt a stab of guilt. For the first week of 'detentions' she'd stayed in his library until she'd been falling asleep, and he'd guessed that she'd been waiting to see him. After a week, she'd given up, only staying in his library for an hour or two before giving up and moving on to the main Hogwarts Library.

It was his fault she had been in there alone.

He was getting closer now and he could hear whimpering. His heart seemed to turn over and bile threatened to come up into his mouth. Where was she? He searched frantically, trying to beat the tracking charm to save valuable seconds.

Where was she? Where? He opened the library door and let it slam against the wall.

"Miss Granger?" he called, realizing his voice made it sound like sounded like he was furious with her, instead of scared witless for her. Well, at least anyone who might be around wouldn't think he'd gone soft in his old age.

He didn't care. He softened his voice as he followed the light as quickly as he could.

"Hermione? Where are you?"

The whimpering suddenly stopped and Severus almost choked in panic, looking around even more frantically.

Finally the ball stopped above what looked like a pile of rags, then bounced back to Severus to spell out the words, "Library, Prophecy Section, Restricted, Aisle Three."

He wafted away the needless words and bent over the shaking form of Hermione Granger. At least she was still alive.

He tried to tip her on to her back, expecting her body to be pliant. He wanted to check her for injuries. But as he gently tipped her over, her body stayed curled up into itself. She was completely stiff; the only sign that she was indeed alive was the juddering and shaking going through her whole body.

Her nails were digging into her temples, blood running down her face where the points of her nails had torn through her skin. He bit back a gasp as he lifted her hair back and looked into her eyes. They were completely black and seemed to have an almost oily film flowing over the surface, creating rainbow patterns, like petrol in a puddle.

Scooping her stiff body up into his arms, he strode towards his chamber. He knew what was wrong with Hermione.

Hermione had heard his voice and had sobbed with relief. The pain had started to fade again, but she still couldn't see. She was beginning to suspect that it was probably just her eyes rather than the rest of the world, if the burning was anything to go by.

Seconds after she heard his voice, she suddenly saw what looked like flames. She had a vague idea that maybe there had been a blackout after all, and Severus was carrying some sort of flaming torch. It seemed like a 'Hogwarts' thing to do. Very Medieval.

But as the flames got higher, she started to recognize things. It was a sofa that was burning, the flames reflected in a television, her television at home. It was her living room, in fact. She looked around and the view changed as the rest of the dimly lit living room came into view.

She could feel the heat from the fire starting to scorch her skin and she backed away through the open door, before looking fearfully up the stairs.

Oh my God, her parents. The fire was spreading fast – she had to save them.

She ran up the stairs and reached to turn the handle of the door to her parents' room. Her hand went straight through the handle and she closed her eyes in confusion. Was she dead? Was this her hell? Or was she a ghost? Were her parents about to burn to death and she'd been sent back to save them?

She swiped at the handle again, before taking a deep breath and charging through the closed door; years of taking The Hogwarts Express from Platform 9 ¾ making the sensation of passing through the door much easier to handle.

There were her parents, fast asleep in bed. Her dad was snoring lightly and her mum had her mouth open just a little, completely oblivious to the thin layer of smoke coming through the cracks around the door.

"Mum, dad? Wake up. There's a fire and you have to get out of here. Mum? Wake up. For God sake, wake up."

Severus heard the words Hermione had spoken out loud and closed his eyes in horror. So that was the scenario Hermione was experiencing; watching her parents burn to death, as they really burned to death miles away.

It wasn't her real parents dying, Severus knew. Hermione also knew this very important fact but it wouldn't make any difference. The clones would react in the exact way her parents would in the same situation and Hermione, who would be confused and completely lost, would have a hard time differentiating.

"Sick, fucking bastard." He would have hit the wall, if he wasn't still carrying Hermione in his arms.

Having finally reached his quarters, he swept into his current bedroom and placed her gently on the bed where she lay, curled up in the fetal position, silent tears running down her face.

He sat next to her on the bed and stroked the hair back off her face.

"Hermione, please listen to me," he said, stroking her cheek with one, long finger. "They aren't your parents. Remember? They're clones. You have to come back to me. Please Hermione."

No response. Not that he'd expected one.

He quickly scribbled a message for Albus to come to his bedroom, quickly, before handing it to 'Owl,' his owl.

He turned back to attend to Hermione, conjuring ice-cubes and touching one to her cheek. Her eyes were still black and she'd started muttering under her breath, begging so quietly he could barely make out the words. He realized she'd become hysterical.

Hermione had indeed become hysterical. The fire was spreading and her parents weren't waking up. The floor was hot and the room was filling with smoke. She choked.

The sound made Severus jump. Was Draco a complete idiot?

God, she's going to die.

He started frantically shaking her stiff form.

"Hermione. Snap out of it. Come on."

She choked again.

How on earth would this benefit Draco? If he killed Hermione, then he'd failed his task. Was he so dim he didn't see that? Killing Hermione would lead to his possibly even more painful death.

"Please Hermione," he begged, swallowing a lump in his throat. The only way back from this curse was for the person to bring themselves back. They had to force their minds back to their bodies and Hermione didn't even seem to realise that she wasn't in hers.

He pinched her arm, hard.

Nothing.

He was contemplating sticking a needle into the tip of a finger when Albus Dumbledore appeared next to him.

He nodded, as he took in Hermione's body, curled up upon itself.

"I can't get through to her. You have to get Weasley or Potter. They might be able to bring her back."

The Headmaster shook his head. "If anyone can bring her back, it is you, Severus. You will figure this out."

"Figure this out? This is some sort of test?" he spat, rounding on Albus.

"What. Do. I. Do?" He said the words slowly, like he was talking to a stupid child.

"Open your heart, Severus," he said, leaving the room to go and pace outside. He turned to look at the younger man as he reached the door.

"Please save her, Severus." His voice was sad, almost pleading. Severus closed his eyes.

Open your bloody heart! Severus sneered. Who was he, a Mills and Boon character?! Yes, he knew that if shocks such as pain didn't work, then sometimes touching the victim of the curse would work instead. Was that what Albus had meant?

He admitted that sometimes it had worked, depending on the person under the curse, and who was doing the touching. Which is why they needed Weasley or Potter – he couldn't do this.

More often than not, he admitted to himself, victims of this curse didn't wake up at all. He certainly had never known any who had.

A choked scream interrupted his despairing thoughts and he moved quickly back to Hermione's side. Her breathing was becoming laboured, and he estimated about five minutes before he'd have to start a resuscitation spell.

He had to reach her subconscious. She wasn't listening to him and there was no way to get her to respond any other way.

He reached under the bed for his dagger and gently uncurled one of her palms, holding it open in his hand.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, wincing as he sliced down the middle of her palm. Blood immediately oozed from the deep cut, but she didn't move. He sighed and muttered a charm to heal it. It disappeared without leaving a mark.

He locked his eyes with her black ones. Now they looked like flames were licking at her eyeballs against the black.

He probed her mind, sifting quickly through memories he didn't care about just then. He was trying to find her.

It was useless. Maybe it would have worked if he'd still had that charm? But as he thought it, he knew that he would still be in too much agony to really be of any help. Albus had been right about that.

"Hermione?" he tried to push his voice into her mind. "Please come back. Please. This isn't real. You are intelligent enough to fight this. You need to wake up now, Hermione. God, please wake up."

He moved back to look into her eyes again and groaned in despair.

He saw Albus reappear in the doorway and he turned to him.

"She called for me, Albus. When this first hit, she called my name. She trusted me to save her."

Tears finally came and he swiped them away with the back of his hand.

"She cared. She cared and I let her down. I let my own pathetic fears hurt her. I hurt her, because I was afraid of getting hurt."

More tears were coming and Severus turned away from Albus, who still hadn't said anything.

"Hermione, for fuck sake wake up!"

He shook her again, then leaned down and kissed her, hard. He kissed her lips over and over and over again, holding her mouth to his with a hand in her hair.

"Don't fucking dare die on me," he said, between hard kisses. He didn't care that Albus was watching; he didn't care that he'd probably get fired for this.

He started crying properly, sobbing against her mouth. All the emotion he'd had pent up for so long had suddenly overcome him. He couldn't lose her. Not like this.

"You've got to live. You're the only person I've ever wanted to let in. I want you to know who I am, Hermione. We can find out together. If you just come back. Please."

Severus' pale face suddenly lifted from Hermione's, an idea hitting him. He got to his feet and strode into the living room, knocking Albus to the side in his haste.

He returned, a small silver disk in his hand. Hermione's breathing was shallow and coming in gasps now. She was still whimpering and talking. Her words were almost inaudible, but Severus could just about make out the words, "it's burning." She was burning to death in her own mind, watching her parents burn with her.

"Hermione," he said, calmly, in contrast to the tears still coming from his eyes. "If this doesn't work, I'm sorry I couldn't save you. You were... amazing."

He pointed his wand at the small silver disk and it floated into the air, spinning around faster and faster. Music suddenly filled the air and Severus lifted his hand in an 'up' gesture, until the music was so loud the dungeon walls were vibrating.

"Please hear this," he whispered, the music too loud for anyone to hear his words as he quietly sang along with the song.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_'Cause sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything feels like the movies_

_And you bleed just to know you're alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

When everything's made to be broken 

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_


	13. Chapter 13

Warning: This chapter starts off a bit... gory. If you don't want to read the start of it, you can probably still keep up with what's happening.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somewhere in Hermione's hell, she could hear music. Loud music. The... Goo Goo Dolls? This was the music they played in hell? If so, she was quite impressed.

Her parents were lying on the floor. Her dad had disappeared from sight in a mass of flames ten minutes earlier. He hadn't heard her as she begged for his forgiveness for not being able to save him. He hadn't heard her as she'd told him she loved him. She'd been able to smell his flesh cooking as she'd watched him burn, only grateful that the smoke inhalation had managed to kill him before the flames had, although she wasn't sure which was worse.

Her mother was still in the room with her, next to her on the bed. Her clothes burnt off, her hair gone, her scalp covered in blisters. She was choking and gasping, for whatever reason taking longer to die than her father had.

Hermione wasn't far off death herself. She could feel her skin burning, her eyes stung so badly she could barely open them. She couldn't breathe.

She'd tried to run out of the house for help, or just to get away from the pain, but all the doors and windows had been locked, even as she'd tried to walk through the fire to get out. Her parents had banged on the windows, screaming for help.

Hermione sobbed, giving up. God, it hurt. If she'd just hurry up and die, the pain would go away. And she wouldn't have to hear her mother screaming.

The song was playing again, getting louder. It was almost drowning out her mother's screams and the crackling of the fire, eating at her home.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_'Cause sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

And underneath that music, singing along with the Goo Goo Dolls... was that... Severus? Singing? She almost took her mind off the pain for a moment to contemplate the idea of Severus Snape, singing.

She looked back down at her burnt body. It hurt a little less. Was this what happened when you were dying? Did everything stop hurting?

The song started again. It almost felt like he was singing it to her.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

"Severus?" she croaked through the smoke, barely able to make a sound, her lungs too coated with the thick, black smoke.

Just over the music, she could have sworn she heard him tell her to 'get her act together, summon that Gryffindor courage and get the hell out of there.'

"Tried. Locked," she managed to gasp.

"Not like that, you silly girl." She definitely heard that. The pain was getting a little less too. Was she going to hell? Was Severus the Devil or the Hellish equivalent of St Peter or something?

"This is a curse; a sort of dream you're in. You have to get out with your mind, not your body."

"So tired..." she gasped. God, she couldn't breathe. She felt so light-headed.

"Hermione!" the voice was sharp. "Pull yourself together!"

She gasped for breath.

"God Hermione. Don't die. Come back to me, please." The voice was desperate, almost despairing.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

When everything's made to be broken 

_I just want you to know who I am_

"Please, Hermione."

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

She could feel his lips on hers. That was strange. He wasn't here – no one was here any more. Even her mother had finally stopped screaming. But somehow, he was there, holding her, kissing her. She just couldn't see him.

She relaxed her body, feeling herself being pulled against his chest. She felt like she was lying down, but she couldn't be – she was sitting on a burning bed in her house, the fire everywhere now. But it wasn't touching her. It was licking at her ankles, but suddenly her body wasn't scarred and blistered any more.

"Severus, I'm sorry," she said, her voice stronger than it had been. "I didn't want to make you hate me. I just wanted you to know that what happened wasn't your fault. I didn't want to lose what I had left of you. I'm so sorry."

"Shush, child. I've got you now. I don't hate you. You didn't lose me."

"I'm just so lonely," she whispered, burying her head in his chest. "And so scared."

How was she touching him? He wasn't there? But the fire was fading into black. Everything was going black again. And the pain was finally leaving her head.

"When I'm around you, I don't feel as lonely."

Severus closed his eyes as if in pain. Albus watched from the doorway for a second, before leaving to fetch Madame Pomfrey. Hermione was coming back to them.

"How can you possibly be lonely with Potter and Weasley for company?" Severus muttered, sarcastically, his lips pressed against her forehead.

He leaned down to kiss her lips again and this time she kissed him back. Her mouth opened and she let him in. Her arms wrapped around him and one of her legs hooked itself over his hip. She was pressing herself as close to him as possible, kissing him hard, her black eyes suddenly closing, for the first time in nearly forty minutes.

He closed his own eyes in relief.

"Am I dead?" she stopped kissing him to ask.

"Bloody Gryffindors, always so melodramatic," he said, laughing as he held her close. "Open your eyes."

"I'm afraid to," she said, knowing that if she opened her eyes, the flames would be there again, licking at her body.

"I've got you. Trust me," he whispered.

She slowly opened her eyes, having difficulty focusing for a few seconds, before leaning back to take in Severus' face.

"What happened?"

Her eyes were normal again he was relieved to discover. Her breathing was almost normal and she was asking questions. That had to be a good sign.

"Draco cursed you," he explained as quickly and simply as he could. "Lucius set fire to your house, locking the clone versions of your parents in it, and Draco put a spell on you, so you'd feel like you were there. An old Death Eater torture game."

He felt sick. He'd performed a spell like that once before. Once, and only once. He'd let the man he had cursed live through about five minutes of watching his family drown, before he'd quickly killed him himself. Voldemort had tortured him for hours for that display of weakness.

He should have just let Voldemort kill him.

"If Albus hadn't moved my parents..."

"Yes, but he did. They are safe, Hermione." He was still holding her close, but knew he should get up. Albus would want to fire him pretty soon and he should probably pack first.

He sat up, pulling the girl slowly to a sitting position. She groaned as her body protested against the time she'd spent curled up in a stiff ball.

"Look, Hermione," he started, hearing Albus coming through the main door to his quarters. He quickly pointed his wand at the bedroom door, stopping Albus and Madame Pomfrey from coming in. Then he cast a silencing charm.

"I won't be allowed to stay at Hogwarts, Hermione," he said, his palm cupping her cheek as he looked seriously into her face. "I don't even know if I'll see you again. But I want you to know that I do care. More than you could ever know."

She looked confused. "Why won't you be able to stay?"

Severus pointed to the doorway, where Dumbledore was staring in at them, with his arms folded, while Madame Pomfrey paced up and down, muttering.

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

"I could explain; tell him it's my fault..." she started.

Severus lifted a finger to her lips and pulled her so she was sitting on the end of the bed, her feet on the floor.

"No," he said, quietly. "Go, get on with your life."

"You don't want to keep in touch?"

"You have an amazing future ahead of you. You won't need me."

Severus thought grimly of what Voldemort would say about this. He would no longer be useful to him and would probably be killed for his stupidity. He wouldn't be around to be needed by her, even if she did ever need someone like him.

A half satisfying, half terrible thought occurred to him. He could sort things out for Hermione once and for all, if he no longer had to keep up his role as a spy. He hated killing, but this murder would be a necessary evil. Draco's life for hers...

She was watching him, he realized. She knew what he was thinking and her eyes showed her horror.

"No. You can't do that. I will leave. I will go into hiding. But you won't do that."

Severus sighed. How could someone so good and pure ever have wanted him?

She reached up for his hand and let him help her get to her feet. "Promise me?"

Severus sighed again, before snarling, "Fine," in a tight voice.

She pulled his head down to hers and almost touched his lips with hers.

"I know you don't want me," she said, in a whisper. "And that's the reason I won't push to keep you in my life. But if you ever do find yourself thinking about me, find me."

Severus closed his eyes. He couldn't tell her. It wasn't fair to her. He closed the tiny gap between their mouths and kissed her, slowly and deeply. It was full of passion and tenderness. It was pain, loss and wanting. They clung to each other desperately, Severus finally letting his barriers down in front of her as tears of pain and relief poured down his face.

He kissed her over and over again, holding her so tightly it hurt, until Dumbledore finally appeared next to them, having somehow got through Severus' barrier. His face was blank as he gently pulled Hermione's arms from around Severus' neck, ignoring her protests. He led Severus out of the room quickly and Severus went easily, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Madame Pomfrey immediately began fussing over Hermione and she watched as Severus gave her one last lingering look as he followed Albus.

Then she finally allowed herself to collapse back on the bed and started shaking from head to toe.


	14. Chapter 14

It took Hermione five days in the hospital wing to get up the courage to see Harry and Ron. She didn't know why she was so nervous, but she had made any excuses she could whenever Poppy (as Madame Pomfrey said she could call her) came to tell her that Harry and Ron were waiting to come in and see her.

Instead she kept her mind busy trying not to think about the fire, which took up a lot of her time. The times she wasn't doing that, she was thinking about Severus and the fact that she'd lost him his job. No one had told her that he had been replaced, but then again, no one had to. She'd seen the Headmaster leading Severus out, that stern look on his face.

In the few minutes she'd had free from thinking about the fire or Severus, she'd been thinking about her period. It was about a week late. But you could never tell with her periods – they were never very punctual; a fact that annoyed the hell out of her, being that the rest of her life was so organized. Well, it had been until that fateful night that Severus Snape had crashed into her bedroom.

Actually, this was all his fault, she reasoned. Sod blaming Draco – I'm going to find Severus Snape and subject him to a hundred Galleons worth of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, one after the other. Not including the Miracle Grow Condom, of course.

She felt so alone, sitting in this hospital ward. The only person she allowed in to see her was Ginny, but she only saw her for a few minutes each day. Hermione had thought about talking to Ginny about her late period and about Draco Malfoy, but she hadn't dared. She knew she could trust Ginny, but she didn't know how she'd react. There was a chance she'd tell her mum too.

She briefly thought about talking to Harry, but decided that he wouldn't be much better than talking to Ron, who would immediately wage war on her behalf over Draco, and faint over her period. She groaned.

And now she had Severus to worry about too. There was no doubt that once Voldemort found out he no longer worked at Hogwarts, he would have no use for him. He might have been a 'loyal' Death Eater to him for a lot of years, but she knew Voldemort had a tendency to take out his anger and disappointment on people.

She was hit with an almost desperate urge to get up and find him, and it was the first time since she'd arrived in the hospital wing that she'd actually had the urge to get up at all.

She wanted to find him to make him promise not to return to Voldemort. He could hide. She could hide with him. Fine, he wasn't in love with her, but surely he could find her tolerable enough to hide away with for a few years? And yes, she'd feel guilty not being part of the final battle, but she had to protect Severus.

Her eyes widened as she realized that somehow, she had started to care more about Severus than she did about her friends. She shook her head in disbelief.

No, she told herself. It was more that her friends had each other, and now Severus was alone. He needed her.

She pulled her face at her own unconvincing thoughts and groaned again. Really, like Severus would ever let himself need anybody.

"Everything alright?" Poppy inquired from the other side of the room. She'd only kept her in under the Headmasters orders, but she had been glad she had. There was definitely something wrong with the girl. Depression most likely – Hermione had barely moved since she'd arrived. Her lovely mass of curls now resembled the mess Hermione had borne when she'd first arrived at Hogwarts. It made Poppy's fingers itch to go and get a hairbrush. She wasn't eating and she didn't want to see anybody.

She was distracted from thoughts of hairbrushes by a now familiar knock on the door to the ward.

"They're here again, Hermione," she said. "Would you like me to send them away? I told them to leave it a few days, but you know what Harry's like…"

Harry had spent a lot of time in the care of Poppy Pomfrey over the last few years, thanks to various confrontations with Voldemort and they'd developed a sort of rapport. Poppy had even started to mother him in her own pushy, Mother Hen sort of a way.

Poppy was just about to go back and tell the boys to leave, when Hermione spoke, her voice uneasy, but determined.

"No, it's alright," she said, sounding resigned. "Tell them to come in."

She'd have to get this over with at some point, she supposed. Unless she did actually leave and could convince Dobby to go up to Gryffindor Tower and pack for her. Hmm… tempting.

Poppy raised her eyebrows but did as Hermione asked, ushering Harry and Ron into the ward with warnings to keep quiet. There was no one else in the ward at that time; Hermione was sure she just enjoyed playing 'librarian.'

"Hey there," Harry said, leaning over to kiss her gently on the cheek. He briefly looked like he was about to hug her, but was too nervous of her reaction. She quietly berated herself for being so distant with them for the last few weeks; she'd managed to be so unpredictable they were nervous around her now.

"Hello Mione," Ron said, putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it gently, before leaning over to kiss her on the lips.

"Ron, not now," she hissed. "Madam Pomfrey is right there."

Ron scowled, but sat down before commenting, "You're looking better."

"Thanks. Did you bring me homework?"

"Most people want flowers and chocolates," Ron muttered almost to himself. "She wants homework!"

They all chatted for a while, quickly falling into their old easy conversations, teasing each other and laughing. Ron was the only one who had treated her like nothing serious had happened and she appreciated that. Even Harry seemed to be treating her differently, as if she was suddenly breakable. She might not fancy Ron anymore (if she ever did), but she did love being his friend.

Now, if she could just find a potion to make her smell really, really bad, but only to Ron… Then he might stop trying to kiss her. Or she could try to gather some of that Gryffindor courage she seemed to be so lacking in recently and actually break up with him.

"There's a rumour going around…" Harry said, carefully, finally getting up the nerve to broach the subject.

"Yes?" prompted Hermione, knowing what the rumour was and still not knowing what she should tell Harry.

Albus had been to see her once and only once, for a very brief visit as soon as he had presumably finished with Severus. He had told her that she could still leave, that now her 'parents' were dead, there would be no suspicions and no repercussions for Severus if she did– people would expect her to leave.

He had suggested letting everyone, even her friends, think that her parents were dead. It would be difficult coping with their sympathies, he'd said, and difficult lying to them, but it would be for the best in the end.

Hermione still wasn't sure. She had never lied to her friends about anything before, except daft things, like when she insisted she had a really terrible headache to get out of watching yet another bloody Quidditch match.

She had begged Albus to let her stay in the hospital wing for a week or so, because she wanted time to think and make her decisions. She had no one to protect now Severus had gone into hiding, which is what she was sure he would do. And Draco deserved whatever he got. She no longer cared that his evilness was influenced by his family – he was completely undeserving of any sympathy.

"People are saying that Death Eaters killed your mum and dad, Hermione," Ron said, finishing for Harry, his eyes so full of concern she wanted to cry.

At Hermione's hesitation in answering, Harry asked, "Is that why you're in here? You're too upset to see people?"

Hermione shrugged, finally making a decision.

"Someone put a curse on me," Hermione said, quietly. "I had to watch my parents as they burned to death. I was… there, but in my head."

Well, that was almost the truth, even if it wasn't really the reason she had been in the hospital wing for so long, not seeing anyone. The reason for that was depression and misery, pure and simple, Hermione admitted to herself. She didn't want to go to lessons, and that fact in itself scared the hell out of her. Luckily Albus had understood without needing to be told and had given her that week in the hospital wing for her to sort herself out properly.

Harry went pale and reached for Hermione's hand to hold it tightly. Ron went completely the opposite colour, even his freckles getting darker as his face reddened with fury.

"Do they know who did it?" Ron asked between clenched teeth.

Hermione nodded. "But I can't tell you who, Ron. I won't have you getting yourself killed for me."

"Hermione!" Ron almost shouted in frustration. "For fuck sake, tell me!"

"Mr Weasley, if you can't keep your voice down, then I will have to ask you to leave," Poppy's voice bellowed down the ward, making Ron jump.

Ron went pink and glowered. "Fine, but did you at least tell Dumbledore?"

"Professor Dumbledore is well aware of what is going on, Ron," Hermione said. "Everyone is doing the best they can right now. You can have your revenge when it's all over, but I am definitely first in the queue for that."

Hermione's mind returned again to satisfying images of transfiguring Draco's genitalia into various different kinds of fruits or vegetables. Maybe she could transfigure it into a banana, then turn Goyle into a large, starving monkey…

"When are you coming back to classes?" Harry asked. "Advanced Potions is hell without you."

"What's the new professor like?" Hermione asked avoiding answering when she was coming back. Her heart sank just thinking about the fact that Professor Snape had gone and would be replaced by someone not nearly as skilled; and it was all her fault.

"New Professor?" Harry looked confused.

"You know, the one that replaced Professor Snape? Or has the headmaster not found a replacement yet?"

"Mione, as much as I'd love Professor Snape to be replaced by someone; anyone, except for maybe Umbridge," Harry said, puzzled, "it's still the same old Greasy Git teaching Potions."

"He wasn't… What do you mean?"

"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked, concerned.

"Yeah, do you want me to get Madame Pomfrey?" Ron added, leaning forward and touching the back of his hand to her head, as if he could detect insanity that way.

Hermione hit his hand away, frustrated.

"Harry, are you saying that Professor Snape is still here?"

"Yes…" Harry said, slowly emphasizing the word. "Unfortunately for all present and future Hogwarts students everywhere."

Hermione's forehead wrinkled as she tried to work out how on earth Severus could still be here. Was he just teaching until Albus found someone to take over? Or had Albus somehow not seen the rather obvious display of student/teacher much-more-than-platonic affection?

"Mind you, I didn't see him at tea last night, or breakfast or lunch today," Harry commented, thoughtfully. "But it's the weekend and he's not always around for those."

"You're watching him bloody closely," Ron said, his eyebrow raised. "Got a little crush on the greasy black bat?"

Harry pulled a disgusted face and Ron laughed. Hermione laughed along too, but her heart wasn't in it. Why would he have missed the last three meals? Whatever Harry said, he didn't usually do that. Breakfast sometimes, yes, but never three meals in a row.

For the first time in days, she suddenly _wanted_ to get out of bed and get dressed. Well, she'd have to wouldn't she, if she wanted to find out what was going on? Unless of course she could levitate her bed into the potions classroom, her sat astride it in her very fetching hospital gown. But she somehow didn't think Severus would find that very amusing.

"I'm sorry," Hermione apologized. "I'm just not really feeling myself."

Had he left? Had Albus given him a few days to get things together before leaving? Or had Voldemort got to him?

Harry raised his eyebrow at Hermione's pale face and Ron patted her on the hand.

"If I could be in a world where Snape had retired or something, I'd gladly stay insane," Ron said.

"Not that you're insane," he quickly added, patting even harder in what he must have thought was a reassuring way.

"God, if he'd just retire…" Harry said, in a dreamy voice.

"Retire! He's not that old, you know!" Hermione pointed out, hotly. She suddenly felt very young and silly for obsessing over someone who Harry thought was old enough to retire. Why would someone his age want someone like her? He was experienced and intelligent and…

"He's probably about twenty years older than us, Hermione!" Ron pointed out.

And there was that too_. Thanks Ron_.

"Age isn't that important in the Wizarding world Ron, you should know that!" Hermione said, wondering if her argument even fitted in with the conversation, or if she was just trying to convince herself it was fine to have fallen for the bad-tempered Professor.

"You know," he added thoughtfully, ignoring the fact that Hermione had spoken, "I bet that if we got together enough of Snape's ex students who hate him and asked them to give us a Knut each, we'd have enough money to pay Snape to retire."

"He'd be far better off and future generations would be incredibly grateful," Harry agreed, nodding. "I think it's a plan."

Hermione glowered from where she lay, propped against the pillows.

"Do neither of you appreciate his skill, even if you don't like his teaching methods?" she asked, sighing. "Potion-making is an art. Have you never watched him? He's passionate and precise all at the same time. It's amazing. And he loves it – you can see how absorbed he gets by it. He just doesn't understand people who aren't as good as he is, or as passionate about it as he is."

"Plus the fact that he's just a grumpy sod," Ron added in a quiet voice to Harry.

Hermione had to give Ron that.

"We are all aware that you think that all Professors deserve respect," Ron

said, his brow wrinkling in disgust at the idea of Snape deserving respect. "But really Hermione, you always stick up for him and he's never been nice to you. Ever."

"Can we talk about something else, please?" Hermione asked, giving up. She'd spent years trying to get them to lay off Severus, even when she hadn't liked him herself. She knew that they'd never stop to think about the sacrifices he had to make to keep them safe, or why he might really be how he was to them.

Although she was pretty sure he was like that to Harry and Ron purely because he thought they were complete idiots. And at that moment, she agreed.

"Harry turned Ginny down again," Ron said, cheerfully changing the subject, ignoring Harry's glare.

"Not again. Oh Harry! She's lovely, you know. And she even likes Quidditch, which has to be a bonus."

"Don't you go changing his mind," Ron said firmly. "I'm quite happy he doesn't want to get my baby sister naked. I'd like it to stay that way."

"Baby sister! She's nearly seventeen, Ron!" Harry said, flushing.

"Oh my God, you do fancy her!" Ron said, his eyes widening in shock. "Nooo!"

"I do not!" Harry said, his flush deepening. "I've only just finished with Cho."

"You do!" Ron insisted. "Oh my God, you weren't cheating on Cho with… No. You wouldn't!"

"Look Ron, concentrate on your own failing love life, and leave mine alone!" Harry snapped as he pushed his chair back. Then he winced. "Sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to get at you too."

Hermione flushed and tried not to look at Ron, who had got to his feet too.

"Maybe it's Hermione you fancy," Ron accused, out of the blue. "You're always so touchy feely. Are you two secretly doing it?"

"Don't be so bloody stupid, Ron," Hermione said. "Harry and I are friends."

"I think you owe Hermione an apology," Harry said, to Ron, who was still red faced, glowering at them both.

"I just… don't understand," Ron said, miserably, suddenly sounding defeated. "I know you've got a reason now, what with your mum and dad and everything. But before that you barely looked at me."

"I'll leave you two alone," Harry said, turning to leave and give them some privacy.

"No, don't go." Hermione wasn't scared of being alone with Ron, she just didn't want to have to sit alone after he stormed out, which she knew he would at any moment.

"I'll be right outside," Harry assured her, before practically running out of the room.

"It's not been working out, Ron," Hermione said quietly, trying to get him to meet her eyes. "I just think we're meant to be friends. Best friends. I love you, I really do. But don't you think we were better before?"

"Is there someone else?" he asked her through gritted teeth.

"I'm not leaving you to be with anyone else," Hermione said, choosing her words carefully. Well, she wasn't. Severus didn't actually _want_ to be with her.

Unfortunately Ron was being unusually perceptive that day.

"But do you fancy someone else?" he persisted, cringing because he wasn't sure he even wanted the answer.

"Ron, I'm sorry for avoiding you and for not being more honest with you. I should have spoken to you as soon as I realized we weren't meant to be. I didn't want to hurt you, so I put it off. I was so absorbed in myself. I'm so, so sorry."

"Hermione! Do. You. Fancy. Someone. Else?" His teeth were gritted so hard that Hermione worried they'd shatter.

"Yes," she said quietly, giving in. "But it's not how you think Ron – I'm not going to be with him. It's not like that."

Ron looked at her, the hurt evident in his eyes. Then he turned and walked out, leaving Hermione staring at the empty doorway.

"Well," said Harry, wincing as he walked back into the room, "this was fun – must do it again some time. Aren't you glad you decided to see us after all?"

He gave Hermione and wry grin and then went over to the bed and took her hand.

"Do you want to talk now?" he asked gently. "Before I go and stop Ron punching random inanimate objects, that is."

Hermione shook her head. "Not about what happened with my parents, no."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"You and Ginny?" she suggested, with a wicked grin. "You know you're crazy about her, Harry. And she's got the patience of a saint, so she's never going to give up."

"It comes from growing up with all the Weasley brothers around her," Harry pointed out, with a grin. "You either turn to mass murder, or develop the patience of a saint."

Hermione laughed, then her face sobered and she looked at Harry.

"I need to ask you to do something for me, and you've got to promise not to tell anyone, even Ron." Hermione's voice was serious and Harry noticed for the first time just how thin and pale she'd become lately.

"Anything," he said, wishing she'd just talk to him.

"I need you to acquire some ingredients for me."

"Acquire?" he asked, his eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"Alright, steal," Hermione amended, with a guilty grin.

"Can I ask what they're for?" he asked, gently.

"I can't stop you finding out," Hermione said, quietly. "All you'd have to do was look up the ingredients to find what potion I want to make."

"I won't do that, Hermione." Harry sighed. She'd always trusted him before, why couldn't she now? "If you ever need to talk though, I'll always be here to listen."

Hermione bit her lip, determined not to cry. She nodded and pulled him down for a hug.

"I'll have them for you tomorrow," Harry said, pulling back from the hug and handing her some parchment from the bedside table. "Just write me the list."


	15. Chapter 15

Severus was trying to keep his mind busy, marking essays. It had worked for an hour, until he'd come across Hermione's last essay. It had been perfect, as usual; twelve inches longer than everyone else's and written with a flow that Severus himself almost envied. Almost.

He'd refused to give it the 100 he knew in his heart that it deserved – he had only once given 100 before and the student had spent a day in the hospital wing to recover. Tempting as it was to shock Hermione, and as convenient as it was, as she was still in the hospital wing, he just couldn't.

He scrawled '96' in the corner and then cringed.

Guilt. He was sure that was guilt he was feeling.

He _hated_ feeling guilty.

It was just another one of those signs that the bloody girl had got to him. However he tried to deny that fact to himself, he couldn't hide the fact that he had taken to doing things that were blatantly out of character. All because of _her_.

He had been up to the sick bay on no less than three occasions, all in the middle of the night. Each time, he'd stared at the pale, sleeping form in the bed for a few moments, before turning on his heel and leaving, disgusted with himself.

The one night he had missed, he had lain awake all night, wondering how she was. And it wasn't even as if she was _ill_, for Merlin's sake. She was in there because she was being cowardly!

He winced again and added to himself that, yes she was being cowardly, but she had every reason to be. He'd seen himself what a state she was in – her face was so thin and she looked like she wasn't bothering to shower and brush her hair. She had hit depression for the first time in her life and didn't know how to pull herself out of it.

He had thought of going in there to try to bring her out of it, but had stopped himself. He didn't want her thinking he cared, even if he did. He was pretty sure she cared about him, however misguided she might be in doing so, and he didn't want her thinking that anything could ever happen again between them. She would grow out of it, and he assured himself that in time, so would he.

So he hadn't visited and had instead gone in the middle of the night, which was oh so much better, he told himself sarcastically.

Yet however ridiculous he knew it was, he was still sitting in his study trying desperately not to give into the urge to don his invisibility cloak and go to see her.

Maybe if Albus had been more disapproving after he had witnessed their passionate embrace. He might just have enough willpower to stay away from her bedside if Albus had disapproved of the inappropriate 'friendship' that had sprung up between them. Instead he had, in his very unique Albus way, given his permission.

Severus snorted in disgust. Given bloody permission! That in itself would bloody stop any ideas he had of courting the girl. _Permission!_

Albus had pulled him away from Hermione that night and had taken him into his bedroom, to get him out of Poppy's way. Severus hadn't said a word – he'd just started packing, shrinking everything to fit into one small holdall.

Albus had watched for a moment, and then put his hand on Severus' shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Severus had said, jerking out of reach. He just couldn't have coped with anyone being kind to him right then.

"My dear boy, please sit down."

Suddenly two chairs were in front of Severus, but he had shaken his head.

"If I don't keep my hands busy, I'll end up back in there, making sure Hermione is really alive, and right now I don't think that's a very good idea, do you?"

"You don't have to leave, Severus," Albus had said, putting his hand firmly on Severus' shoulder again. "Both the school and I would be at a loss without you."

Severus had looked at the older Wizard with an almost comically befuddled expression. Albus spent a good few seconds wondering whether offering him a lemon drop would complete his utter confusion and lead him to booking himself straight into St. Mungos.

"Did you not notice the fact that I was doing a little more than comforting Miss Granger in there? It wasn't your average pat on the back and 'there, there'."

"Yes, I did notice," Albus had acknowledged with a nod of his head, his voice serious. "I also noticed that she did far more than 'comfort' you when she was staying with you after the attack on her cat."

"Why did you not fire me then?" Severus had asked, suddenly sitting hard on the bed and burrowing his head in his hands. "Why let me come back and screw up a second time?"

"Severus, caring for someone isn't 'screwing up'," Albus had said, sitting next to him, his robes riding up enough for Severus to see his bare feet. Severus remembered noting absently that Albus had a very hair big toe. Scarily hairy in fact.

"Caring for a student is," Severus had pointed out, his voice muffled as he spoke through his fingers.

"I'm trusting you to treat her as you have always treated her, when it comes to her academic studies," Albus had said to the miserable younger man. "I'm not telling you to go ahead and have an affair with her, but I am not telling you not to, as long as you are discreet. I need not warn you that if anyone else were to find out about this, that you may be forced to leave against my wishes. It would be taken out of my hands."

"Are you giving me _permission_ to sleep with Hermione?" Severus asked, incredulously. "Have you gone completely insane?"

Severus had peered through his hands to see Albus wincing, no doubt trying not to think about anyone sleeping with his precious Hermione.

"I am merely saying that if there are two people who need each other, I am not going to get in the way of that," he had said, firmly.

"I don't even know if I like the girl," Severus had confessed, his head still in his hands. "I don't know how I keep getting into these situations. She just… got to me."

Albus had just nodded and waited for Severus to continue.

"She said she cares about me, Albus." Severus lifted his head from his hands to look at the Headmaster. "She knows some of what I am, yet she still cares about me."

"Is that so bad, Severus?" Albus had got up then, squeezing Severus' shoulder, then gesturing towards the hold-all Severus had been filling. "If you feel you have to leave, do so. But do not do it on my account, or Hermione's."

Albus had left Severus alone then, and Severus had waited a full two hours before going to her bedside that night, to watch her sleep a drug-induced sleep. He'd touched her face just once, to make sure she was really there. She had come so close to dying in his arms, it was difficult to take in the fact that she really hadn't. Somehow, he'd saved her.

He sighed, putting down his quill and getting to his feet.

"Off to see her again, are you?" his sister spoke from the painting he still kept of her on his desk. He'd painted it himself when he was much younger. They'd both been lying in the long grass in their garden, avoiding their father and getting some fresh air all at the same time. He'd stopped and painted her – it had been one of the few times he'd seen her happy during his childhood.

"Shut up," he snarled at her as he stalked past.

"Oooh… little Severus falling in love at last," the cheeky voice followed him into the living room. "Wonder if the poor girl knows what she's getting into?"

"Be careful, Amanda," Severus warned as he went past the door. "Or I'll paint a bloody great spider to keep you company in there."

He grinned a satisfied grin at the squeal of fright that came to his ears as he stalked off.

Hermione was, as he'd suspected, still a complete mess. Her hair would need some severe charming to become anything like the lovely gold-brown mass it had been before. He wondered if she was actually eating anything at all, and made up his mind to question Poppy next time he spoke to her. She wasn't taking care of Hermione properly. Couldn't she see that Hermione was falling apart?

He moved closer to the bed and studied her face in the almost total darkness. God, she looked vulnerable, he thought. Vulnerable, innocent and totally in need of protection. She brought out protective urges in him that he was sure he had long since buried, and he hated it.

He sat down on one of the incredibly uncomfortable chairs next to her bed. He reminded himself to have a word with Poppy about those too. He knew she kept them hard and uncomfortable so that people wouldn't stay long, an idea he thought was rather ingenious. However, it was different when he was the one perched on the hard plastic. It was a particularly sadistic invention of the Muggles, he thought.

He looked at her, wondering if she was finally ready to give in and go into hiding. It wasn't as if she didn't have a good reason now, with the world thinking her parents really were dead. He could handle himself and he was sure he could convince her to go, given time.

He reached over and placed his hand over hers, as it lay still on the bed next to her. At that exact moment pain seared through his arm. He had clutched at his arm and swallowed the howl of pain he felt rising in his throat. This had to be an urgent summons – Voldemort wanted to see him, and fast.

He got to his feet, still clutching his arm and left as quietly as he could, pulling the cloak back over him. He walked quickly back to his rooms and quickly donned his Death Eater clothes, before running to the edge of the grounds, from where he could Apparate.

As he arrived, he knew he shouldn't have gone. One of the Death Eaters was on the floor in the middle of the circle he joined. He was babbling and screaming incoherently, strips of skin hanging off his face. Severus vaguely recognized him as one of the recruits from a couple of years ago. He'd been in the Ministry and able to pass information to Voldemort. Apparently he'd been as much use as he was going to be and the sick snake man was going to have fun disposing of him.

Except as Voldemort looked up, sensing his presence and looking for him in the crowd, his blood ran cold. He knew then that Voldemort was planning the same fate for him.

Voldemort gestured with his hands and suddenly the crowd of Death Eaters parted to let Severus through. He walked towards Voldemort with a confidence he didn't feel. He was going to die, just like the bloodied man on the ground was slowly dying, in such agony he had become insane with it.

"My Lord," Severus said, quietly bowing his head. He considered kissing Voldemort's robes, but decided he probably wasn't in the mood for it, and it wouldn't save him anyway. What had he found out? Would it be worth trying to Apparate away?

He cleared his mind and kept his head bowed as Voldemort addressed him.

"Are you aware, Snape," he hissed, "that there is to be a Christmas party at _that_ school of yours?"

"I was aware there was to be a dance of some sort, yes," Severus admitted, trying to hide his unease.

"A Dance, Snape, where everyone would be what they are not."

Severus wished he'd just get it over with.

"A _costume_ party, Severus," Voldemort said, his voice getting louder. "Where you could quite easily get together a little band of your Slytherins and get up to all sorts of mischief."

"So WHY have you not mentioned this to me?" he bellowed at Severus, making him wince, waiting for either Crucio or Avada Kedavra to hit him.

Surely he couldn't be in such a bad mood that he'd kill him for this. Severus scoured his mind for a reason for Voldemort's sudden fury at not only him, but the poor sod twitching on the ground next to him.

"While that bearded fool is arranging for my Death Eaters to be caught by the Ministry idiots, you are doing NOTHING."

Oh, that. Severus inwardly winced as he remembered that Albus had been planning on leading a capture of four of Voldemort's finest. Apparently it had been successful and Voldemort needed someone to take out his temper on. It seemed that torturing the man next to him hadn't been enough to quell his anger, so Severus had been summoned.

"My Lord," Severus said, dropping to his knees. "I had not been informed of the nature of the Christmas Dance, nor did I know about planned surprise assault on our friends. I am as upset as you are that you have lost such fine and loyal servants."

"You are giving me _nothing_," Voldemort hissed, his eyes glinting red. "It is your job to know _everything_ about that school, and instead you know _nothing_!"

He pointed his wand at Severus and snarled, "Crucio!"

Severus fell to his knees, all thoughts leaving his mind as his body felt like it was being ripped apart. He tried to quell his hands, which were frantically ripping at his skin, as if they were trying to get to the pain deep inside. He knew he would make things worse ripping at his own skin, but the pain had taken over.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been under the curse when Voldemort had finally stopped. He lay panting on the floor, wondering in a vague sort of way if he'd been driven insane with this final about of Cruciatus.

After a few minutes to calm his breathing a little, Voldemort moved towards him. Severus knew that his eyes were full of blood, hindering his sight, but he could see the man getting closer through the haze of red.

_Narcissistic bastard_, he thought to himself. Trying to keep his thoughts from surfacing, but being in too much of a state to manage it_. Kind of like_ _England's answer to Germany's Hitler, except even with the little, very camp moustache, Hitler was far sexier._

He quelled his thoughts again as Voldemort leant over him. He heard a metallic sound, like a dagger being draw from its sheath and he realized a moment later that that indeed had been what it was.

Severus had never been one for screaming – even under the Cruciatus Curse, he stayed remarkably quiet. Voldemort had always been quite amused by this, but tonight he wanted him to scream.

Severus felt slices of skin being peeled from his body and prayed for death.

"Hermione," he whispered into the grass, trying to turn his head so he wasn't inhaling his own blood.

The last thing he remembered was Lucius' voice cutting through the pain, words he couldn't quite hear through the haze; then total blackness.


	16. Chapter 16

Hermione woke in the middle of the night, a sense of panic gripping her. She sat up in her bed, clutching her sheet to her chest and listening intently.

Voices. There were voices. She got to her feet and padded, barefooted, across the hospital ward and through to the door of the intensive care unit.

"I'm telling you, he's dead!" wailed Hagrid's voice.

"Be quiet, Hagrid!" Poppy snapped, concern giving her voice an edge that made even Hermione wince. "I can't tell if he's alive or not with you wailing in my ear."

"He's still breathing," Professor McGonagall, said in her soft Scottish accent. "Look."

"He's got a pulse," agreed Poppy. "Just. Right, I need you all to back off a bit, while I try to help him. Albus, I need some of your power for him to draw on. I can't do this by myself. Or Minerva, as she's younger?"

Both Professors muttered their acceptance and Hermione listened intently, the silence unnerving her.

"Advante Corporium," she heard the Medi-witch mutter. After a few seconds there was a gasp and an exclamation from Hagrid.

"Finite Incantium," Poppy muttered.

_God, I'd give anything for a pair of extendable eyes right now,_ Hermione thought, edging closer to the door.

Professor McGonagall's tired voice floated out to Hermione. "That isn't enough is it?"

"He needs some of his basic magic restored, so he can start healing himself from inside. I can't do anything else for the outside, he _has_ to start healing himself." Poppy's voice was tired and defeated.

"Take some more of mine, Poppy," Albus insisted, quietly.

"Any more would probably kill you, Headmaster," Poppy said. "The healing potions may still work. But he's so close to death that I just don't know if they will be enough."

"We could wake the other Professors," suggested Professor McGonagall. "We can't just let him die."

"He might not, Minerva."

"We have to do _something_," she insisted. "Severus is like this because of us. We can't just let him die like this."

_Severus._ Hermione had pretty much known it was him they had been talking about, but hearing his name confirming it made her blood run cold.

"He's going to die?" she asked, the quiet voice making Albus jump. They were all standing around a bed where Severus lay, attached to tubes of various sorts feeding him blood and healing potions.

Albus made to get up, but groaned as his legs gave way and he fell back into the chair.

"My dear child, you should be asleep."

"Is he going to die?" she asked again.

Albus shrugged helplessly. "It is a possibility, yes."

"But we've got to leave now, there's nothing more we can do tonight," Professor McGonagall said, putting her arm around her shoulders and leading her through the door and into the other room.

The other Professors and Hagrid trailed after them, leaving to go back to their chambers one by one.

Albus was the last to leave and as he walked towards the door, he turned his head and said quietly, "I don't advise what I know you are about to do, Hermione. But I know that it won't make any difference."

He nodded to her and left, quietly. Hermione closed her eyes, knowing what he meant, but not caring. She padded quietly back into the intensive care room. Severus was alone now, the healing potions making the state of his skin look far less appalling than it had looked just minutes earlier.

Hermione knew that all his wounds would heal; it was just that he had been so drained of magic that he probably wouldn't live. She could tell he was dying just by looking at him.

She reached to touch his cheek gently. God, she wished she had stopped him going back. Was this all because of her? Had Voldemort found out about him helping her and tortured him for it? Was he going to die because of her?

She grasped her wand and muttered a charm. Almost at once a protective shield surrounded her and Severus. No one could enter unless she wanted them to – she was free to do what she knew she was going to do from the second she'd heard Poppy say that she didn't think what Albus and Professor McGonagall had given had been enough.

"Professor?" she said, whispering close to his face. She'd read enough about this restoration of basic magic to know the dangers and her heart was beating fast. "Whatever happens tonight isn't your fault. I want you to know that. Don't ever blame yourself. I have to do this."

He lay still, looking almost peaceful. Only the bluish tinge around his mouth showed how close he was getting to his own death. The healing potions weren't bringing him back.

She clasped his slack hand in hers and pulled his covers down to bare his chest, which was still covered in deep cuts. She slid her wand in between their clasped palms and rested her other hand on his blood-covered chest.

"Advante Corporium," she whispered, her eyes closing as she felt the tingling start at her toes and then work its way up through her whole body.

The tingling fast became more like pins and needles, and she struggled to breathe. She opened her eyes to find Severus' eyes open and staring into hers in horror.

She saw him mouth the word 'no', but couldn't hear him for the rushing noise in her ears.

She felt something trying to break through her shield. Albus, she realized as she turned her head slightly to the left. God, it hurt to move.

She felt Severus moving his hand against hers, trying to get it free, but she couldn't let go – it was as if her hand was melded to his.

The world suddenly went black and she hit the floor.

When Hermione woke up, she had no idea where she was for a second. Everything was bright and her throat was so dry she wanted to gag.

"Water," she gasped, trying to sit up.

"Shush girl, lie back down," she heard a voice say, as a hand pushed her back against her pillows. God, she was still in the bloody hospital wing. Was she never to escape this place?

She felt some water touching her lips on someone's finger and she immediately licked at it, wanting more. The finger disappeared again and she groaned, trying to sit up again, before it returned again. She sucked the finger hungrily into her mouth, trying to get every drop of water before whimpering for more.

"Easy, you can't have much, or you'll vomit," the voice belonging to the finger said. "And I don't take kindly to my robes being covered in student's vomit."

"Severus?" Her eyes had started to adjust and his face finally came into focus. God, he was alive.

"Professor Snape," he corrected her. "Whatever state you're in, you're still going to show me some respect."

"You're alive?"

"I see the coma didn't damage your acute sense of observation," he commented, dryly.

"But if you're alive, how am…?"

"How are you alive too?" he asked.

She nodded.

"So you knew that the way you did that spell, with no Medi-witch to pull you out at the last moment meant you'd die?" It was more a statement than a question.

She shrugged. "You were going to die."

"Yes, I was. But sacrificing your life, however Gryffindor your actions might have been, wasn't what anyone would have wanted, myself included."

"Your lips were blue and your eyes were…"

"Devoid of life, I presume. Yes, I am aware that I was near death."

"Voldemort did that to you?" she asked, her voice faltering as she took in the scars that still hadn't healed on his face and hands.

"Yes, he did. And before you ask, yes, I did send your love to the Dark Lord. Hugs and kisses and everything."

"Torture does your humour the world of good," she said sarcastically, but quietly amused.

"How are you?" he asked, a little awkwardly.

"Aside from the confusion of not being dead, the little Draco problem and the fact that I thought I'd got you fired, oh, I'm fine."

"I see that the coma also did wonders for your sense of humour," he commented, his tone sarcastic too.

"If Albus gave you any provisos, like 'don't go near Hermione,' you do realise you're violating them right now, right?"

"Do I need to remind you that Gryffindors can never be subtle?" he asked, in bored tone. "If you want to know what the Headmaster said to me, you could just ask."

"Would you tell me?"

"No." He smiled. It was his first smile in far too long, he realized. Except she'd managed to knock him off track. He couldn't allow himself to become distracted; he had to tell her. He had to… find out.

"God, I'm thirsty," she interrupted his thoughts.

Severus sighed, before dipping his finger into the cup of water again and lifting it to her lips. She looked into his eyes for a second and he sighed again.

"You are wasting it," he said, impatiently, ignoring the lump in his throat.

She ran her tongue along his finger and licked off every drop, not daring to look at him again. His face didn't betray any emotion as he dipped his finger in the water and lifted it to her lips a second time.

This time she took his whole finger into her mouth, her heart racing as she did so. Part of it was driven by thirst for the water clinging to his finger and part of it was…

­_God, I want him_, she moaned to herself, flicking her tongue against his finger and sucking it harder.

She finally raised her eyes to his heavy lidded ones and he regarded her with a smouldering gaze. His eyes were almost black, she noticed, and his lips were slightly parted. She realized it was doing as much to him as it was to her.

Suddenly he pulled his hand away, scowling at the cup of water in his other hand.

"Miss Granger, why did you do such a foolish thing? Why… sacrifice yourself for… me?"

"It wasn't like that," she said quietly, not knowing how to explain it. "Besides, I'm here aren't I? Apparently not at all sacrificed."

The bizarre thought drifted through her mind that perhaps one of them was a Ghost, before she shook her head to clear away the ridiculous thought. They'd touched apart from anything.

"No, you're not," Severus said, quietly. "Would you like to know why you're not dead?"

His voice had a strange quality to it; an emotion she'd never heard before was straining at the surface of his words, trying to get out.

"Why am I not dead?" she asked, meeting his intense gaze.

"You were grounded by something, Miss Granger," he answered, confusing her more. "Do you know what might have grounded you?"

He felt his breathing quicken. He was feeling a hundred emotions at once and couldn't identify a single one of them.

At the shake of her head, he fixed her with that unreadable gaze again.

"The only thing that would be able to prevent the death of a person directly administrating Advante Corporium, would be if that person was… with child."

"With child?"

"I am assuming you haven't completely lost the use of your brain over the five days you were in a coma," he said, sarcasm being his only way of keeping his feelings under control. "With child, Miss Granger. As in pregnant."


	17. Chapter 17

"Pregnant?" Hermione echoed.

"Do I have to repeat myself again?" he asked, wearily. Inside he was a mass of nerves. Of course there was a very good chance that the child wasn't his – she did have a boyfriend after all. But there was a chance…

"Is the baby okay? After the curse and… the draining spell?" Her voice was almost shy and he wondered why.

"The baby is fine, yes." God, why didn't he just come out with it and ask her? Mind you, would she even know? Would there have been more than a few days in between what happened between them and…

He didn't finish the thought; the idea of Weasley touching her body sent a stab of acute emotion through his chest. God, was that jealousy he was feeling?

He cleared his throat. "Poppy ran all the relevant tests as soon as she realised. You are about seven weeks."

"It can't be that many weeks." Her face showed complete confusion. "They must have made a mistake with the date."

"How many weeks along do you think you are, Miss Granger?"

She flushed, her cheeks staining pink and making her look pretty, despite the tangled hair and unnaturally pale skin.

"Four or five weeks," Hermione said, refusing to look into his eyes.

"Incredible. The great Hermione Granger doesn't know everything," he said, realizing that when he was nervous, he was more biting. "They work out the age of the foetus from the first day of your last menstrual cycle, Miss Granger. Although Poppy used other methods, I think that if you count back…"

He watched her counting back in her head, before nodding in realization.

"Do you know when you might have conceived?" His voice sounded different and he coughed to clear his throat, before taking a deep breath. He didn't get this nervous when discussing his own death with the Dark Lord, why was he so scared to ask one of his _students_ a question?

She didn't answer him, instead she peered at him looked scared and embarrassed and nervous and he wasn't sure what to do to help. He could just leave and give her some space to think, but he needed to know.

"Hermione…" Severus used her first name, and hoped she hadn't heard the tremor in his voice. "Do you know who's the baby is?"

Hermione closed her eyes for a good thirty seconds, before looking up at him, a look of trepidation on her face.

"Yes," Hermione said, her eyes almost pleading with his, but he didn't know what she wanted.

"There is no doubt?" Severus asked, needing to be sure.

"No, none."

"The baby is… mine?" As he said it, the words seemed to stick in his throat. He was a _father?_ He'd had five days to get used to the possibility, but still the knowledge that he had been right seemed to knock him for six.

Hermione took a deep breath and said quietly, "I know you don't like children. This is the last thing you need in your life and it will cause so many different problems, but…"

She took another deep breath. "I'm not getting rid of this child, Professor."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment. A wave of relief flowed through him and he realized that all the questions he'd been asking himself about what he really wanted had just been answered in that one strong surge of emotion. He didn't know what he wanted regarding Hermione, but he did know that he wanted this child; his child; to live.

"I didn't think you would," Severus said, untruthfully. God, he wanted to say so much more but didn't know how Hermione would react to anything.

"But I don't think that this should be an end to your studies," he said instead.

Hermione's eyes widened as she took in exactly what keeping this baby would mean. She had applied to some of the best Wizarding universities in the world and now she wouldn't be able to go.

"Albus or myself can write a letter, deferring your attendance for a year or two if you wish?"

His words were reassuring, making her relax against the pillows again. He'd somehow managed to work out what she had been panicking about and had found the right way to make her forget about it for the time being.

A sudden thought hit her and she regarded him with suspicion for what seemed to Severus like an eternity.

Severus stared back, uncomfortable with the sudden scrutiny and the look upon her face.

"What?" he asked, defensively. "Stop staring at me, girl."

"Do you use Legilimency on me?" she asked him, frowning.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Miss Granger, not only would it be morally wrong to do that, it would also be bloody exhausting being inside what passes for your mind."

"You've never used it on me? Ever?" She still looked incredibly suspicious. There was definitely some Slytherin in the girl, he decided.

"Never," he said. He had never needed to, being an expert at reading people without it. Although admittedly Hermione was harder to read than most, and he had never had cause to try until bloody Draco Malfoy had forced them to work together.

"Rest assured that I have not ventured into your mind. I'm not sure I would brave enough to do so. I may never recover." Severus' tone was dry. Hermione looked at his face and was sure she spied a slight turning up at the corners of his mouth.

"You face Voldemort on a weekly basis, yet you are frightened to venture into _my_ mind?" She said, in a pretend offended voice. "I'm quite impressed with myself."

"The Dark Lord isn't a hormonal, teenaged girl."

Hermione smiled at him, almost erasing the traces of stress and exhaustion from her face, but only almost. Her smile changed to a look of realization, which quickly turned to disappointment as she worked something out in her head. Severus waited patiently for her to get round to giving him an explanation.

"My birthday!" she exclaimed miserably. "I slept through my eighteenth birthday!"

"I was made aware of that, yes," Severus said, inwardly cringing as he remembered the youngest two Weasleys, Potter and a couple of others sitting around her bed, brightly coloured paper hats on and holding party blowers. They'd sung happy birthday to her and been impossibly noisy. They'd even brought her a birthday cake in the shape of a giant book – Hogwarts, A History had been the title, if Severus remembered correctly.

Her friends had visited every day, even though no one had actually known if Hermione would ever wake up. Severus had researched and found only two other cases of a pregnant girl surviving that spell and only one of the girls had ever woken up.

Severus had shocked every member of staff by sitting by Hermione's bedside every minute that he wasn't teaching classes. He ate his dinners with her and read passages to her from the books he was already reading. He even marked essays next to her, occasionally ranting to Hermione about how incredibly dim various students were. He even slept in the incredibly uncomfortable chair next to her bed, refusing to move when Poppy insisted he should be resting to recover fully.

He had known he hadn't needed to rest and was very aware that the reason for that lay in the girl lying in the bed next to him, pale and defenceless. He felt so guilty that his chest hurt and staying by her side, researching her condition was the only way he knew to help her.

Half way through the second night he spent in the torture device disguised as a chair, Poppy transfigured the hard, plastic chair into a small camp bed for him to sleep on. When visitors came, he slinked off into the shadows so they wouldn't see him, never far from her bedside unless teaching took him away.

When he had woken up to see Hermione linked to him, her wand grasped between their palms, he had known immediately what the incredibly brave and misguided child was doing. He had tried to pry her hand away, but hadn't succeeded. Albus had finally broken his way through the barrier, but by then it was too late and Hermione's body had crumpled to the floor, the spell no longer keeping her upright.

Severus had sat up in bed, ignoring the stabbing pains running through his body from his still unhealed injuries. He had looked at the girl on the floor, completely drained of magic and life.

She had given her life for him. For _him!_ If he hadn't been worth her caring words, he certainly wasn't worth sacrificing her life. She couldn't possibly care for him that much?

He had pulled himself out of bed and had dropped to his knees beside her, leaning forward to pull her half onto his lap, cradling her head in his arms.

"What have you done?" he had whispered, pushing her hair back from her face.

Tears had dripped onto her face without him even feeling them coming. He realized then that this foolish, foolish girl had really cared. She had given her life for him and she could have been so much.

He was oblivious to anyone or anything else, as he held her in his arms, rocking her gently. It was then that he noticed the rise and fall of her chest. No one had checked to see if she was still breathing because everyone in the room knew that no one could possibly survive the spell.

Minerva had immediately gone to the library to scour the stacks for any explanation of what could have happened. Poppy had fussed over Hermione, performing spells and injecting healing potions. She had tried to lift her from Severus' grasp, but he had muttered a threat to Poppy in such a tone that she had stared at him in shock for a moment, before backing off to see if the spells and draughts would take effect.

When Minerva came bursting through the door into the small room, clutching a large, dusty book in her hands, Severus hadn't wanted to let go of Hermione to go and crowd around it, like the other professors and Poppy were doing. Hermione was still alive. There was still hope that she could come out of this and be okay and he wasn't ready to let go of her.

Until he heard Poppy gasp, "Pregnant? Hermione? My God, she can't be."

He had lifted Hermione onto the bed then; the same bed he had been occupying minutes earlier; ignoring Poppy who had suddenly realized he was out of bed and was doing her very best to irritate him back into it, having quickly recovered from his threat. She was too used to him, Severus realized. He'd have to try harder to intimidate her next time.

He had reached for the book, pulling it out of Minerva's hands, his stomach turning over as he read the words then re-read them over and over again.

"Advante Corporium was used frequently in Japan as a way to revive fatally injured troops. A mediator is usually needed for the Advante Corporium not to be deadly to the person giving their life force, but a Japanese General discovered by accident that pregnant women almost always survived the spell; although many never woke up from the magic induced coma."

There had been another few paragraphs about some battle the General had won with the aid of pregnant women, willing to risk their lives for the cause, but Severus hadn't cared enough to read the rest.

Poppy had performed a scanning spell, quickly finding the tiny, kidney bean shaped foetus and magnifying to check it. He watched, his heart hammering in his chest, just as the tiny creature's heart was beating in what would very soon be its chest, but now looked nothing like a human body. He could actually see it beating, taking up a good part of the tiny creature's body. It was alive. And it was… was it his?

Albus had put his hand on Severus' shoulder as he had stared at Hermione's abdomen in part terror, part awe. Severus realized that Albus was the only person in the room who realized that this tiny, tiny creature was in fact very possibly his; a possibility he realized as soon as Poppy had worked out the age of the foetus.

He hadn't known what to think that night and instead busied himself brewing various potions to keep the baby and Hermione healthy while Hermione continued to stay in the spell induced coma.

Of course, Albus had tried to talk to him about the situation. He'd said something not very cryptic about how the baby had saved Hermione's life; maybe it would save his too. Severus had given Albus a deadly glare, before turning and completely ignoring him, although he had been almost desperate to ask Albus if the baby was definitely his. Albus of course, knew everything else – he should know that.

Instead he had waited, hoping and praying Hermione would wake up. He'd watched her as she slept her coma induced sleep, his gaze occasionally straying to her still completely flat stomach, wondering if by some miracle she had conceived his baby on that night.

Which is what took him to where he was at the moment, having some inane conversation about how Hermione had slept through her bloody birthday.

"It wasn't your eighteenth birthday anyway," he pointed out. "Thanks to that two years of time turner use, you are probably nearer to nineteen or twenty."

Although why Albus ever gave her that bloody thing to use, he'd never know. She could have done any sort of ridiculous thing with it.

Rescuing Sirius Black, for example, he thought glowering.

Hermione scrunched her nose up. "At first, I kept notes on how many extra hours I'd acquired and added them to my age," she explained to him. "Except it became so confusing, I gave up."

"If you're still using it, you'll be older than Dumbledore soon," a voice pointed out from behind them. "You'll start getting wrinkles any day now…"

"Not funny Harry," Hermione said, in a mock stern tone, immediately recognizing the voice as Harry made his way over to the bed. Then she reached up to pull him down for a hug.

"I can't believe you're awake! Does everyone else know? I was just coming up to check on you. Someone should have told me." Harry was beaming, obviously incredibly happy to see his friend awake again.

Severus got to his feet, feeling uncomfortable, but trying not to show it.

"I'll leave you to your visitor," he said, feeling too overwhelmed to think of a way to insult Harry before he left.

Baby. A baby. His baby. God, he needed a drink of something strong.

"Wait," Hermione said to him, reaching out to grab his wrist to stop him leaving. "Harry, can you go and inform Madame Pomfrey that I'm awake please?"

Harry got up, giving Severus a suspicious look, but going to find the Medi-Witch anyway.

"You do realise that Madame Pomfrey already knows you're awake, don't you?" Severus said, his eyebrow raised. "She was the one who gave me the cup of water for you when she saw you stirring."

"I figured," Hermione said, looking vaguely guilty. "Can I actually drink something now? I'm so thirsty."

"I'm afraid not," Severus said, wondering whether to offer her more water on his fingers.

Her gaze was fixed on the cup and he had a sudden suspicion that she was thinking of 'Accio-ing' it to her, before he could stop her. He dipped two fingers into the water and lifted them to her mouth, aware that she was together enough to be doing this herself now. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care.

As she opened her mouth again, letting him slide his fingers into her mouth, he bit back a groan. She sucked every drop of water away from his fingers and as he started to remove his fingers from her mouth, she took hold of his wrist, stopping him.

"Miss Granger…"

Hermione ignored him and slid the fingers out of his mouth herself, before sliding a different finger back in. She sucked it gently, flicking her tongue against it and sliding it in and out of her mouth rhythmically, scraping her teeth gently over the tip of it every now and again.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a choked voice after waiting for long seconds, watching her suck his fingers like she was sucking on his cock.

"Apparently my nice long nap has done me the world of good," Hermione said, her voice husky as she slid the fingers from her mouth and moved them to trail down her neck and over her breasts, leaving a path of wet as they moved over her skin.

"Hermione," Severus said, almost gasping as she slid his hand under her gown and pushed his palm flat against her breast, letting him feel her nipple hard in his palm. "You need to stop this before Potter comes back in and has a seizure."

Then before he could stop himself he felt his thumb moving of it's own accord, rubbing her nipple, making it harder against his hand. He groaned and arched her back, making his breathing even more laboured than before.

Hermione used her other hand to reach for her wand on the bedside and murmured the first concealment spell that came to mind, making her, Severus, the bed and the chair vanish from sight.

"You don't think he might notice that the bed is missing?" Severus asked, bemused. He pulled his hand from her grip and pushed her back against the pillows on her bed. "I know he's not the most observant of boys, but even he might notice something amiss."

She pushed his hand under the bedcovers and placed it on the top of her inner thigh, so high up that he knew he'd only have to slide his hand up about half an inch before he could feel how wet he knew she would already be for him.

"I don't know if you have any idea of what you're doing," he said, his face close to hers as he leaned forwards. "But you are playing with fire, Miss Granger, and you know you will get burned."

Hermione's only answer was to take her hand from his, leaving his hand on her thigh as she ran her fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. Severus shivered and then growled at her, part annoyance and part pleasure.

"You have just had a series of traumatic experiences, not to mention a traumatic revelation. I will not take advantage of you."

He raised his eyes heavenward. Honestly, he wasn't even convincing himself!

"Does it look like you would be taking advantage of me?" Hermione asked with an almost cheeky grin that made her look vulnerable and sexy at the same time. She just wanted to touch him, to make sure he was alive, and to make sure she still was too. She needed him. If she thought there was any chance he would comply, she would have demanded he carry her back to his quarters and play with her for hours.

"Erm… Hermione?" the confused voice of Harry Potter came from the door. "Where's your bed. And… erm… where are you? Hermione?"

Hermione bit down a giggle as Severus shook his head at her in bemused exasperation. He cast a sound bubble around the bed, so Harry couldn't hear anything, before leaning in close to Hermione.

"We have a lot to discuss, Miss Granger," he said quietly, his voice almost formal. "And this is neither the time or the place."

He leaned further down to close the couple of inches between their mouths. He kissed her lips gently, and was surprised when she started kissing him back almost frantically, burying her fingers in his hair and pressing her body up into his and moving against him unashamedly.

He groaned, feeling himself getting hard, and pulled back from her. He gently smoothed the hair back from her face, feeling feelings he would not allow himself to recognize. He closed his eyes, trying to push them to the back of his mind before he said or did something he would regret.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked tentatively, surprising him.

Severus fixed her with an incredulous stare. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"The… baby," she said, feeling awkward actually saying it out loud.

"No, Miss Granger. I am decidedly not alright," Severus said, straightening up and taking a step back from the bed. "But I'm sure I will be."

"Harry's gone," Hermione pointed out with a wry smile. "That has to go some way to making you feel better."

"He has most likely gone to inform Madame Pomfrey of your disappearing bed," Severus said, treating Hermione to one of his rare smiles in return. She laughed, her eyes smiling into his.

Her face sobered and she reached for Severus' hand.

"I'm sorry about this," she said.

"Why?" Severus' face was unreadable.

"Because you're stuck with more me-related problems," Hermione explained. "You don't need all this to add to everything else."

"That's for me to decide, isn't it?" His voice was gentle, almost kind.

"I suppose," she said, not for the first time wishing she could read his mind. But God, she was tired. Too tired to work him out right now.

_He lifted his hand to touch her face before hesitating, stopping centimetres from her cheek. Then he turned on his heel and walked out of the sterile hospital room, leaving an exhausted and completely bewildered Hermione._


	18. Chapter 18

She had agreed with Poppy that she would spend four days in the hospital wing, to make sure she had recovered. She had wanted to stay for a day and Poppy had wanted her to stay for ten days, so Hermione was quite proud of her achievement – Poppy wasn't an easy adversary to vie with.

Finding out about her pregnancy had somehow shocked her out of her depression. Or it could have been the coma. Either way, Hermione wanted to get back to classes. She'd had Harry bring her all his notes and all her books, but she knew she'd never really get a chance to catch up until she was out of the hospital and back on her feet again.

On her third day there, Hermione had given up hope of Severus actually coming to see her again. She knew from Poppy and Albus that Severus had barely left her side while she was ill, even going so far as to eat and sleep with her. So why hadn't he come back now she was awake again? Surely she would at least make for better company now she was actually conscious and capable of a two-sided conversation?

She was frustrated and annoyed that Severus kept avoiding her every time she thought she'd made some headway with him. How could a man be so brave when it came to facing death every day of his life, but be such a coward when it came to having feelings about anyone or anything?

Ron also hadn't been to see her, although Harry had assured her that he too had been to visit her every day while she was unconscious. She was going to get a complex if this carried on. Was she really such better company when she couldn't talk? She decided not to contemplate that worrying notion.

"He talked to you about Quidditch," Harry had told her, talking about Ron and grinning.

"So he was trying to bore me out of my coma?" Hermione had asked, dryly. The one good thing about still being in hospital was the lack of Quidditch talk at meal times. It was almost tempting enough for her to consider taking Poppy up on the offer of an extra week in there. It was even almost tempting enough for her to 'accidentally' break a few bones to stay in there even longer.

She knew she had to talk to Ron to sort things out between them, but Severus was more at the forefront of her mind, along with this new life inside her.

When Severus told her she was pregnant, it had been more of a shock than it should have been. She had known her period was late and despite all the stress she had suffered lately, she had been quite sure that wasn't the cause. But she hadn't wanted to think about it, already, having so much to worry about, so she hadn't let herself think too seriously about the possibility after that first night and put it to the back of her mind.

Now Severus had brought it rushing to the forefront of her mind and she couldn't push it back again. When Minerva had visited, she had tentatively asked her if she knew of any books about pregnancy that she could get hold of for her. Minerva had smiled kindly and had brought two books to her that night, one Muggle Pregnancy book (Pregnancy and Birth by Miriam Stoppard) and one Wizard Pregnancy book (A Witch's guide to Pregnancy and Birth, also by Miriam Stoppard).

Minerva had informed her that there were important differences between what she knew of Muggle practices and Wizard practices and she needed to be aware of them. The kind professor had only asked once who the father was. She'd asked directly, looking Hermione in the eyes and Hermione had felt guilty telling her that she couldn't tell her. Everyone who knew was being so kind.

Poppy had performed a scan on her stomach, using her wand and a muttered spell, letting Hermione see the baby in her stomach if she craned her neck a little. It was amazing, although she still wasn't sure she'd ever come to terms with it.

Albus had been to talk to her, but as usual had said a lot without saying much, and she was too confused by everything else to try to figure him out. There was a queue of people she had to figure out and Severus was definitely first in the queue. The others would have to wait a while.

She wondered how he was coping with the news of his impending fatherhood. Badly, she figured, given that he hadn't actually been to see her to talk about things since the day he'd found out that the baby really was his.

She had fobbed all her friends off with some story about after effects of the curse, although she knew full well that Harry and Ginny at least didn't believe her, although thankfully neither pushed her for the truth. She wasn't ready to tell them yet, even though she knew that someday she would have to.

She had wanted to talk to Severus about Draco. She hadn't made any headway at all with him; it wasn't easy when the git in question had tried to kill her, and now she had her baby to think about too so she knew she'd have to find a better way to protect them both. What if he attacked her one night and hurt the baby? She didn't think she could ever turn someone capable of what he had done to her, but she also didn't want to leave the safety of Hogwarts.

_Maybe I should try talking to Albus, _she thought, sighing defeatedly. _If Severus is so keen to avoid me, then chasing him will only make him want to avoid me more._

She was tired of playing games and trying to work him out. She would send him a letter, she decided. A neutral letter that would make him see that she didn't want anything from him, so he wouldn't feel like he had to keep away from her, as he so obviously did.

She plumped up her pillows and picked up the quill from her bedside.

_Now, what could she write?_

She wrote quickly, not giving herself time to think, because she knew she'd never send it at all if she did. Then she tied the note to Hedwig's leg, with instructions to find Severus.

Harry had left Hedwig by Hermione's side when he'd finally come back from informing Poppy that Hermione had disappeared, with her bed. Poppy had quickly forgotten her idea of sending Harry to St Mungos' when she had spotted the large Snowy Owl perched on Hermione's bed.

Poppy had tried everything to get rid of her, but the owl, obeying Harry's orders, had just flown around and around the room every time Poppy tried to grab her. In the end the exhausted Medi-Witch had admitted defeat and had given the bird a bowl of owl treats, telling Hermione that her 'plan B' was to feed the owl enough that it wouldn't be able to fly away from her anymore.

_And the plan is working,_ Hermione observed as she took in the way Hedwig had to flap her wings just that bit harder to get airborne with Severus' letter.

Hedwig flew directly to Severus, who was patrolling the halls as a way of stopping himself from both thinking too much, or going and seeing Hermione; either of which being very, very bad things to do in his current mental state.

He untied the note from the owl's leg, realizing at once from whom the letter must be.

He unrolled the parchment and glared at it. It was completely blank. Did Hermione think this was amusing? Was she that bored in the hospital ward? Or was she trying to annoy him into coming to see her?

As he brushed his fingers over the parchment, he felt his fingers tingle and looked down. Words appeared as he touched them. She had charmed the letter to make it sensitive to his touch, so he would be the only person able to read it. Very clever. He was going to award Gryffindor some points for the ingenious spell, he was that impressed.

_Professor Snape (respectful enough for you, sir?),_

I understand that you have probably seen and heard enough of me to last you a lifetime, but as you said yourself, there are things that need to be said and it will probably be less awkward to do so by Owl.

_I want to start off by saying that I don't want you to feel like you have to be part of this. It was my decision to keep this baby and you won't be pressured in any way, either financially or emotionally. I don't want anything from you, either now or in the future._

_I am not naïve enough to even think you would want us to have any kind of friendship. But that said, you have saved my life (twice), I saved yours (only once, but with our run of bad luck, just give me time) – that has to go some way towards making us if not friends, people who tolerate each other? Or maybe just people who have very bad luck._

_You know, since that night you saved me at my house, I have had a long chain of extraordinarily bad luck. I am inclined to blame you, in the absence of anyone else to blame. May curse you with something nasty when all this is over. I might resort to locking you and Neville in a room together for a couple of months if anything else untoward happens._

_As well as assuring you that I do not want anything of you, I wanted to ask your advice on the Draco Malfoy situation. I have not made any headway and really am at a loss. I was also wondering if you knew of any sort of protection charm that I could use to keep the baby safe, in case of attack? I was going to ask Albus when I saw him next, but he hadn't been around lately either, although I'm sure you both have very good reasons (does the sarcasm come over in text?)._

_I will be back in class on Monday, so I will expect a friendly sneer or two then. Until then sir, stay safe. And please don't answer any summons from a certain someone. I wouldn't want to end up in another coma – I might end up missing my next birthday too and I still haven't gotten over missing the last one._

_H.G._

She didn't want anything from him? Well, wasn't that incredibly _Gryffindor_ of her? She had more or less said that all this was none of his business!

Severus glowered at the piece of parchment in his hand; again devoid of writing now his fingers were no longer tracing the lines. He had been avoiding her, purely because his head seemed to ache whenever he thought about her. Everything was complicated and unsure and he had needed time to sort his thoughts out.

Except she'd managed to find a way to get him before he had managed this and somehow had managed to infuriate him too. He blamed Harry – it was his bloody owl that had brought him the letter after all.

He sighed. Maybe Owl Post was the best way to sort this out. At least he could feel a little distanced from the situation that way. He stalked back to his office, taking thirty points from Gryffindor on the way, which cheered him up greatly.

He sat down at his desk and nibbled on the edge of his quill, a habit that he was very careful no one ever found out about.

_Miss Granger,_

_Communicating by Owl is agreeably better than doing so in person, as you seemed rather emotional the last time we spoke. A Gryffindor trait, as I am sure you are aware._

As pleased as I am by your assurances that you can do this alone, have you thought of how you are going to achieve this? You cannot support yourself and this child on your own. You also cannot register to claim benefits, as that would be practically giving the Dark Lord your address. And yes, before you ask, he is very aware of your connection to Potter, even if he has no idea of your connection to myself.

I strongly urge you to think about accepting my offer of help. If I didn't make the offer before, then I am making it now. I will help you and your child in any way possible.

As… interesting as it would be to be locked somewhere with the charming Neville Longbottom, I feel compelled to suggest that you torture a certain platinum blonde prat in my stead. I am very sure that he is entirely more to blame and he deserves even more torment than that of being trapped with Longbottom; if there is in fact a greater punishment.

I am taking care of the Malfoy situation this evening. You need to have little stress at the moment and you are worrying far too much. Have you been taught any relaxation techniques?

I will do some research and will get back to you on the protection charm. In the meantime, stop taking whatever rubbish Poppy is giving you and take three drops of this potion daily instead.

_I have not been summoned as of yet and you will also not be that foolhardy again. As appreciative as I am of your idiotic sacrifice, I want your promise that it will never happen again. Do I make myself clear?_

_S.S_

_P.S. Ingenious charm on the letter. Five points to Gryffindor._

He tied the parchment to Hedwig's leg, admiring the patience of the bird as she'd sat quietly and waited until he finished. Then he leant his head in his hands and groaned. Life would have been much more simple if he'd have just buggered off to Brazil or something years ago, instead of trying to pay for his sins.

_Merlin, I'm going to go into credit if this keeps up,_ he thought, shaking his head and hitting his head gently against his hard, wooden desk. _Could probably murder and torture millions and still be in the black, payment-wise. Bloody Hermione Granger!_

He forced his body to relax slowly as he began deciding exactly how far to go with Draco Malfoy during their little meeting that evening. Was it worth putting his life on the line? Would it even matter now Voldemort was already just a bit annoyed with him anyway?

_Fuck it,_ he thought grimly. _He deserves whatever he gets. Sod the consequences._


	19. Chapter 19

Severus had half an hour to pull himself together. This could not continue, he knew. Hermione was occupying his thoughts to such an extent that he couldn't concentrate on anything else. And right now he needed to concentrate on the youngest of the Malfoys.

He pulled Albus' Pensieve out from underneath his desk and touched the surface of the silvery liquid with his wand. There they were, those hideous memories of that night. Things that hadn't really happened to Hermione, but because of Draco's curse had been as real to her as if she had really been there.

Hermione had agreed to put her memories of that night into the Pensieve, so that both he and Albus could check for any proof that either Malfoy was responsible. Severus didn't share Albus' belief that if Draco could be expelled, then Hermione would be safe again, but he did agree that it couldn't hurt.

If they could only find a solid reason to expel Draco, then at least Hermione could stay at the school for as long as she needed to. Albus had already suggested to Severus that Hermione might like to teach one day and to apprentice Minerva McGonagall would be an amazing opportunity for her. She would be safe and would make an amazing teacher, Severus recognized.

No one had mentioned this idea to her, as Albus had wanted to give her time to adjust to her pregnancy before giving her anything more to think about. Severus had thought it would do her good to put the idea to her, as it would give her a stable future to cling to when everything was so unsure. However, what Albus said went. At least on the surface of things.

Unfortunately neither professor could find anything in Hermione's memories of that night to help them. Severus knew that Draco would have had to be hidden somewhere near her in the library to cast the spell, but if Hermione hadn't seen him then they couldn't see him. It was frustrating. Except now Severus had found a far better use for Hermione's memories.

The knock on the door unnerved him – Draco was early and that hadn't been expected. Severus knew that the arrogant teenager was probably expecting a pat on the back and a 'well done' for what he had done to Hermione and decided to play on the fact.

'Enter," Severus said, affecting a bored tone, sitting back in his chair.

Draco Malfoy sauntered in, a self-satisfied smile on his insipid face. He wore an air of confidence that irritated the hell out of Severus. He oozed cockiness from every pore and if there was one thing that Severus hated more than stupidity, it was cockiness. It made him itch to take Draco down a peg or two, which was good, because that was precisely what Severus planned to do.

He still hadn't decided whether to return to the Dark Lord upon his next summons and risk Voldemort finishing the job this time, or whether to go into hiding, either someplace far away, or at Hogwarts where he'd have to watch his back and couldn't leave until the Narcissistic Snake was defeated. He had decided to make that decision on how things went with Draco today; if things went badly, he'd have the choice taken out of his hands.

Draco sat down on the chair on the other side of Severus' desk. Once he was sitting down properly, Severus noticed with satisfaction that his feet were barely touching the floor. He'd bought the chair for that very reason; it was meant to make his students feel small and young, which would put them on even more of an edge.

"Good evening, Professor," Draco said, smiling a conspiratorial smile at Severus.

"Good evening, Mr Malfoy," Severus had said, his voice silky and dangerous as he tried to force down his vicious thoughts about the boy before they showed on his face. "I trust you are well?"

Draco grinned. "Very well," he said, still smiling.

Severus wondered for a second if it was worth just killing him now. No one would ever suspect it was him, being how he always favoured Slytherins, Draco especially. But he had promised Hermione and she would know it had been him when they found Draco's bloodied corpse, 'prat' tattooed on his smug forehead. And Albus, of course, knew everything. But living out the rest of his life in Azkhaban almost seemed worth it, looking at the boy's handsome, but irritatingly arrogant face.

"I trust you heard the rumour about Miss Granger's parents?" Severus asked, lifting an eyebrow. "And her subsequent breakdown?"

"Which rumour, sir?" Draco asked, his self-satisfied smile turning into a grin. "There's a lot going around."

"The rumour, Mr Malfoy," Severus said, his voice getting even more deadly, "about Death Eaters burning her parents alive?"

"Muggles," Draco said, dismissively, only a hint of guilt tainting his voice. "They had it coming."

Severus cocked his head. Guilt… That was funny, Severus had been sure that the boy was past being capable of that emotion.

"Do you know what this is, Mr Malfoy?" Severus said, gesturing to the large stone Pensieve on his desk.

"A big stone bowl?"

Severus sighed and bit his tongue to stop himself taking points from Slytherin.

"Yes," he said, his voice betraying the annoyance he was feeling. He stood and pulled his wand out of his robes. He was glad to see Draco wince as it was momentarily pointed towards him.

He touched the silvery liquid inside the Pensieve with his wand, watching it swirl about, then become completely transparent. Within it Severus could see the fire, licking at Hermione's ankles, a silent scream leaving her lips as she ran out of the room to go and try in vain to save her parents.

Severus lifted his wand, the trail of liquid still transparent as it followed his wand from the Pensieve.

"Would you like to see what happened at that house that night? What your father did to them? What torment Miss Granger enjoyed?" His voice was now so dangerous that anyone who knew him would have known to run; but Draco didn't notice.

"Erm… alright," Draco said, uncertainly, eyeing the Pensieve suspiciously.

"Good, good," Severus said, smirking.

As Severus lifted the wand to Draco's head, he muttered a spell, quietly. Draco felt a shiver go through his body before total darkness hit him.

The liquid turned silver as it entered Draco's head and Severus stepped back. Draco suddenly reached up and clutched his head, screaming, completely oblivious to Severus' satisfied smile. He might have promised not to kill the boy, but he definitely hadn't promised he wouldn't put him through exactly what Hermione been through. It was only a pity that Draco wasn't watching his own parents burn to death instead.

Severus watched as Draco fell from the chair to his knees, screaming louder. He winced, glad he'd thought to cast a silencing charm on his office. Albus probably wouldn't have approved of his ever so slightly sadistic way of getting through to Draco, and he definitely wouldn't have approved of the way Severus was enjoying it.

Severus grimaced at that. Years spent with Death Eaters, pretending to be as sadistic and twisted as them, must have had some effect. He'd always known he wasn't a nice man, but just lately he'd been more aware of it, as if Hermione's light was making his darkness more apparent.

It was like she'd turned into his conscience. God, what a thought. His very own Jiminy Cricket. And he didn't even _like_ the girl, the bloody irritating know-it-all who didn't want anything from him.

The spell Severus had cast was allowing Draco to feel and see everything Hermione felt that night. From the moment the curse hit, Draco was stuck watching Hermione's agony, while feeling it along with her. It would be less horrific for him than it had been for Hermione, as he had never even met the Grangers, but he would still experience the pain and see the terror on all their faces. Clones couldn't feel, Severus knew, but it was scary how well they managed to fake it.

Draco was begging now, his words jumbled and incoherent. Severus knew there would be no danger for him, as there had been for Hermione, but he had to watch the time carefully. Hermione's memories of coming out of the curse were in there too and Draco would be able to hear he music Severus had played and hear his voice from the moment Severus had managed to get through to her. He had approximately eighteen minutes until he had to bring Draco out, before he risked exposing himself as the person who had saved her life, then had thoroughly and passionately kissed her.

Although leaving him to witness that would have the added bonus of giving Draco a small nervous breakdown, Severus decided that however amusing that might be, it probably wouldn't be worth it in the end. Maybe.

Severus' thoughts were interrupted as Draco suddenly reached out and grabbed his ankle, still whimpering and sobbing. Severus jumped and kicked his ankle out of Draco's grasp, before backing away and sitting behind his desk.

Now that had unnerved him.

He checked his watch. Eleven more minutes until Hermione would hear the music he had played, knowing that music was fabled to get through to a person's subconscious. It had been a wild stab in the dark and he owed the idea to Albus, who had bought him something called a 'self-help tape' last Christmas.

Its title had been something ridiculous about winning friends and influencing people. Severus had listened to the first fifteen seconds, before tossing it into a chest, along with a pair of pink, knitted bed-socks his Aunt Gloria had sent him on the same day, with the message 'to keep your toesies warm, Severus'. He thought she was incredibly lucky he hadn't sent her a vial of his most lethal poison in return; the senile old bat. 'Toesies' indeed.

_Nine minutes to go_, Severus noted, checking his watch again. And in about fifteen minutes Hermione would be watching him walk out of the door, thinking he didn't want to be with her. It had almost killed him to walk away from her, but he'd known he had to do it. What use could he have been to her with no job, in hiding from Voldemort and all his Death Eaters?

Except Albus hadn't fired him. He still had his job and even if he'd have to go into hiding, she should be in hiding herself, especially now she had her unborn child to think of. They could have gone into hiding together – Severus had more than enough money to support them for three lifetimes if needs be.

Except she didn't want anything from him. And he certainly didn't want anything from her. To be alone with the irritating girl for any length of time, however attractive and entertaining she could be on occasion, would drive him to distraction. Her intelligence was notable, but she talked far too much.

Severus shook himself back to reality. It was pointless thinking improbable thoughts. He looked at his watch again and noted that it was nearly time to pull Draco out of Hermione's hell. Draco was coughing and choking, tears running down his face. Severus knew he couldn't die, but still felt a chill go through him – it had only been a matter of days since Hermione herself had lain on his bed, crying, choking and dying.

He bent over Draco's now still form and put his wand to his ear, slowly drawing out the silver liquid. He took a few steps back and waited for Draco to come round. His breathing slowly returned to normal, his body uncurling.

His eyes opened slowly and he blinked as his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room. He looked scared and bewildered as he tentatively pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked down at his arms; pushing the sleeves back and looking for burn marks. Finding none, he looked up at his Potions Professor.

"You can see why that spell is so popular among Death Eaters, can't you?" Severus said, conversationally. "It's far worse when it's actually your parents you have to watch begging for help, dying in agony in front of you."

Draco looked at him, his eyes wide, before vomiting onto the stone floor.

Severus waited patiently until the boy had emptied the entire contents of his supper.

_A waste of the lovely lamb dinner they'd all eaten earlier,_ Severus thought, suddenly wishing he'd chosen to skip that meal himself. It was far less pleasant seeing it half digested all over his office floor.

He quickly got rid of the mess, before helping Draco to his feet and lowering him carefully into the chair he had been sitting in earlier. He handed him a beaker of water and then walked back to his own side of the desk.

"I'm disappointed, Mr Malfoy," Severus said, his voice bored. "Miss Granger didn't react as badly to the curse, and it was her parents she watched burn."

"What… what did you do that for?" Draco's voice was as unsteady as his hands, which were shaking enough to spill his glass of water over his robes.

"I thought you might like to see what effect that little curse had," Severus explained, leaning back in his chair. "As you seemed so proud of it."

"But… you're meant to be on my side," Draco whispered, placing the beaker on the desk with a shaking hand.

"I am, Draco," Severus said, his eyes meeting Draco's and his voice sincere. "More than you know."

"Then why?"

"What? You didn't enjoy watching the Mudblood scream and beg? Don't tell me you actually felt for the girl?"

"I just don't like to see it."

"Apparently you have inherited your father's belief that inflicting pain is… amusing," Severus said, leaning forward in his chair. "Torture is necessary and sometimes even enjoyable, but in this case Mr Malfoy, a little subtlety could have gone a long way."

Draco still looked shaken and confused.

"You tortured Hermione without even thinking of the other options. I know subtlety has never been a strong point in the Malfoy family, but you are going to drive her out of this school if you carry on this way. Then where will you be, without your precious Mudblood to hand in to the Dark Lord?"

"I needed to break her," Draco said, desperately. "I had no choice."

"Everyone has a choice, Draco," Severus said, hoping Draco would catch the hidden meaning in his words, while at the same time knowing he wouldn't. "It's our choices that make us, or break us. Subtlety is an art every man should master. You barged in without thinking; a Gryffindor quality if ever there was one."

Severus sent Draco a malicious smirk, which widened as Draco looked up at him and glowered.

_He must be feeling better, _Severus noted, amused.

"Do you have any idea what it is to be a Death Eater?" Severus asked, his face becoming serious. He got up and sat on the desk in front of the shaken Slytherin. "You will have to torture and rape innocent men, women and children. If you don't like seeing one girl hurting, how do you think you will cope with murdering babies as they sleep?"

"You mange it, _sir_," Draco said, his voice sulky as he continued to stare at his hands.

Severus nodded. "I do what I have to do."

"And I'm doing what I have to," Draco said, looking up and finally meeting Severus' eyes. "If I can't break the Mudblood, then I will not only lose my family, in less than a year, I will lose my life."

"There are other paths, Draco," Severus said, kneeling next to the chair.

Draco suddenly regarded Severus wish suspicion. "Is this because the Dark Lord tortured you? Have you… turned against him?"

Severus sighed, getting to his feet. He should have known Lucius would not be able to stop himself telling Draco about that.

"The Dark Lord has done far worse than that in his time," Severus said with a bitter smile. "If I thought it would help, I would show you. I have not 'turned against' him. I am merely trying to make you see that your way is not going to work."

"I have to turn Granger," Draco said, his voice stronger now, but still with a desperate edge to it.

"Then do it with a little Slytherin subtlety," Severus said with a sigh. "Did you not realise that the curse nearly killed her? What would you have done then? She is on the verge of leaving the Wizarding world altogether because of your brutish way of tackling this situation. If you are to get her to turn to Voldemort, then you will have to stop her despising you."

Severus looked at the traumatized boy and wondered if what he had seen and what Severus had said to him would make any difference at all. Then he took his seat again and started talking, drawing Draco in the best he could.


	20. Chapter 20

When Hedwig arrived with Hermione's letter and potion, Hermione was perched on her bed, her legs crossed, nibbling on her supper of cheese and ham sandwiches. The book 'A Witch's Guide To Pregnancy and Birth' was propped on her lap as she leafed through it.

As Hedwig landed on the foot of her bed and lifted her leg for Hermione to take the letter, Hermione sighed. Hedwig arriving was about the eighth interruption she'd had since she'd cracked open the pregnancy book half an hour earlier. She had transfigured the front of the book to look like one of her Charms texts, but still jumped every time someone entered the room.

Only the professors and Poppy had any idea of her condition and Hermione had been working on how to somehow have this baby without any of her friends ever realizing she'd ever been pregnant, or who she was pregnant to. Maybe just turning up with a baby in her arms one day would work?

"No Ginny, I just found it on a doorstep. Isn't it adorable? Thought I'd keep it. What do you mean it looks just like Professor Snape? Don't be silly…"

It had potential…

She peered at the liquid in the bottle, then sniffed it suspiciously. It smelled vaguely of cinnamon. She unrolled the piece of parchment and ran her fingers over the lines, realizing that Severus had cast the same charm on the paper as she had.

_Rather emotional?! Foolhardy?! Idiotic sacrifice?!!_

Hermione snarled out loud, making Hedwig look up nervously from her bowl of owl treats.

"Sorry Hedwig," she apologized, leaning over to stroke the owl's soft feathers. Then she grabbed her quill and another piece of parchment and started writing angrily.

Severus was just about to step into a searingly hot bath, when the owl once again entered his private quarters.

_Bloody owl is nearly as annoying as its master,_ Severus thought, waving his wand to cast a charm to keep the heat in the water. He took the parchment from the owl and pointedly ignored the creature's hungry look. He wasn't going to give the owl treats for bringing him annoying letters from know-it-all Gryffindor girls. _Especially not for letters like this one._

_Professor Snape,_

How I cope with this is none of your concern, as you made abundantly clear after the act itself. I have friends and family and I can be surprisingly resourceful. You do not need to trouble yourself with the problems of foolhardy, idiotic, emotional girls. I'm sure you have far better things to be getting on with – being heartless no doubt takes up a lot of your effort and time.

_How are you taking care of the Malfoy situation? Do not risk exposing yourself. I'm not entirely sure I will be around for him to get at, so risking your life would be pointless. And maybe even idiotic._

_How do I know the potion you sent is safe, Professor? Surely I should trust a Medi-Witch over a professor who spends most of his life wishing he could kill all his students in a deadly, yet undetectable way? Don't think I haven't noticed the longing in your eyes whenever we're working with something especially poisonous._

_I can assure you that I will **never** risk my life for you again. That is a promise._

_Thank you for offering to look for a charm to protect us, but I'm going to ask Albus instead._

_H.G._

_P.S. Points to Gryffindor? Are you quite sure you should be out of Poppy's care? You must be still suffering from after-affects of the Crucio._

_P.P.S. I do not need to know any meditation techniques. I am not bloody stressed!_

Severus looked at the letter in astonishment. The tone was biting and, well, bitter. She sounded upset and furious with him and he wasn't sure what he'd done. So his letter hadn't been all loving and friendly. What, did she expect him to sign it _'love and kisses'_?

Not around? Was she planning on leaving Hogwarts? Severus knew that he should be happy about that, after all the pushing he'd done, but… he wasn't. He liked having her near, so he knew what was happening to her. Especially now she was having his baby.

_His baby._ He'd finally managed to think of it as his baby. Not _her _baby or _the _baby, but

_His _baby. Except she blatantly didn't think of the child as anything to do with him. He knew that Potter and Weasley would be a bigger part of this child's life and the thought suddenly made his legs weak with misery.

He felt depression overcome him and sighed. He knew he didn't deserve a child, and emotionally had nothing to give it, but financially he could help. That he could give. He couldn't not do anything for Hermione. He reached into the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a flask of Fire Whiskey he kept there. Downing half the flask, he perched on the side of the bath and wrote Hermione her last reply.

Her words should have angered him, but instead they made him feel defeated and guilty. He finished the letter and looked around the room. Potter's owl had gone, no doubt annoyed at the lack of mouse-flavoured treats, so he attached the letter to his own owl, before stripping and sinking into the almost too hot water.

There. It was done. No more talk about the child. It would be nothing to do with him from this moment on, nor would the safety of Miss Granger be anything to do with him. She would just be another student until she left Hogwarts, and then she wouldn't be anything to him anymore. He closed his eyes and downed the rest of his drink, before summoning a full bottle from his bedside cabinet.

_Sweet oblivion,_ he thought, as he took another gulp of the fiery liquid, closing his eyes as it burned its way down his throat.

Hermione had finally finished the chapter on birth in the Wizarding world and was feeling a little queasy. For a world where magic was meant to make things a lot easier, they certainly hadn't bothered to make childbirth any better. No drugs, no… anything. Just meditation techniques and some naff looking crystals. There were some potions that were safe and could help with the pain, but they weren't usually used. Basically, it said, 'there will be pain, get over it.'

Hermione felt panic rising in the throat. She'd never really thought she was the natural birth type of person and the pictures in the book of some unnamed witch, screaming in agony while the Mid-Witch told her to 'breathe' and 'mediate' really didn't change her mind. This was one book where Wizard photos were not beneficial.

_A Muggle hospital, _she decided. _With drugs. And… drugs. And more drugs._

A jet-black owl flew into her room; the owl Hermione now recognized as belonging to Severus.

"Owls! More owls! Bloody creatures are everywhere!" Hermione heard the irate Medi-Witch shouting in the other room, as Severus' owl dropped her letter, then flew off, presumably past Poppy, who was seeing to someone's broken toe in the next room.

Hermione opened it, glowering at the letter before she'd read a word. He was _such_ a bastard. He didn't care at all. All he cared about was his precious Slytherins.

_Miss Granger,_

_Your opinion of me as heartless is one commonly shared by your fellow students, so I should not have been surprised that you too were of that opinion, although I had hoped you had cause to know better._

_I understand your anger and confusion. It is not an easy position you are in, and it must be even worse that you are in this situation completely without volition. I will not do, or say, anything else to hinder your progress in any way. You will do whatever you see fit to do. You have always been more than capable in any task you have undertaken and I am sure you will excel at being a mother. _

_I can only ask that you allow me to open a small savings account in your name. I have more money than I would ever know what to do with and I need to know that this child; our child; is taken care of. Think what it would mean to be able to stay home with the baby, or to get him or her the very best care money could buy. You would be financially secure and I would ask nothing in return._

_Your reply on this matter is not needed. The bank account will be opened in the morning, and a sum of money will be transferred into it monthly. Whether you use it or not is up to you, but it is there for the taking. The details of the account will be owled to you sometime in the week._

_The potion I sent is safe and tailored specifically to you, which means it will do you far more good than the generic potion Poppy is administering. If you mistrust it, have Albus check it for you on his next visit. I can assure you that out of all the students here, I would want to poison you the least. Although sometimes I have to admit it is tempting._

Mr Malfoy has been advised to try a new tactic - he is going to try being nice. As terrifying as I know that sounds, it would be beneficial to you both if you tried to be nice in return. It will at least stop him from trying any painful methods to win you over if he thinks he can do so by instead going against his very nature and actually being pleasant. Albus has been informed of this new change of tactics.

_Stay on your guard and think about researching the Añanki tribe for a protection charm._

_This is my last letter to you. From now on, I think we should not communicate outside of classes. I wish you the very best of luck with the rest of your life, Hermione. I want you to know that I never wanted any of this to happen, and I am very sorry that my carelessness and lack of presence of mind has put you in such a situation._

_Yours,_

_S.S._

Hermione read the letter and then re-read it, before getting to her feet and pulling her robes over her hospital gown. She reached under the bed for the fluffy rabbit slippers Harry had got her from Hogsmede last year (their noses twitched, which Harry had found cute and Hermione had found strangely creepy), then she stalked towards the Dungeons, ignoring Poppy's protestations as she passed her.


	21. Chapter 21

Severus looked up at the stone ceiling of his bathroom. It was kind of blurry and moving in slow circles.

_Interesting…_Severus thought, taking another swig of his Fire Whiskey.

Through the fuzziness that surrounded him, Severus was sure he could hear banging. It vaguely irritated him and he took another annoyed swig.

"Go away," he shouted, frowning as he realized his voice was a little slurred. He couldn't possibly be drunk already. He'd only been drinking for… oh, an hour. Well, there was still half a… oh, no there was only about a twelfth of a bottle left. No wonder the room seemed to be moving around without him.

The banging got louder and he groaned, trying to pull himself up and out of his now tepid bath; the charm to keep it warm had worn off at least half an hour ago. He fell back down into the water and glowered at it when it sloshed out of the bath and all over the floor.

"Fuck off," he shouted towards the door, waving his bottle of Whiskey in the general direction of the banging. His wet hand lost its grip on the bottle and it went flying out of his hand, hitting the floor and rolling until it reached the wall.

_Thank fuck it's not broken, _Severus thought in relief. Then glowered. It was too far away to reach and he'd dropped his wand somewhere… where… was it in the bath with him? Wasn't there something in the wand's handbook about not submersing it in water? _Bugger_.

He tried reaching under the soapy water and feeling for it, but unbalanced and slipped under the water. He righted himself, coughing as he tried to wipe the soap out of his eyes.

"This is all your bloody fault," he yelled at the door. The banging had stopped thirty seconds or so earlier.

_Bloody Albus Dumbledore. Bet he's just trying to bloody interfere again._ _Will he never let me wallow in bloody peace?_

Except Albus would never just open the door when he was in the bath, and he was sure that, even with his alcohol impaired vision, the door was opening slowly, cautiously, as if someone was unsure of what they'd find on the other side.

_They'd find me in the bath completely naked, completely inebriated and completely miserable, _he thought._ Personally, I hope its Minerva. She'd get the shock of her life and be too embarrassed to nag me for the rest of the term…That'd cheer me up._

Then he shuddered, deciding that he really didn't want Minerva seeing him naked. Or any other member of staff seeing him naked, actually.

"Sir, are you in there?"

_For the love of Merlin!_

"No, Miss Granger, I am not," he said, or rather he tried to say, the slurring may have made the words come out a little wrong. "Kindly bugger off."

"You're drunk!"

"No! Really?" Severus retorted, the effect of his sarcasm only slightly lost in the slur.

He looked over at her. She was half in the room and half out, her eyes fixed on a specific patch of the wall above the sink.

"Are you… in the bath?" Hermione asked, carefully.

Severus shook his head in amazement at her complete stupidity. Then he wished he hadn't as the room seemed to dip, making him feel nauseous.

"As you're here, could you pass me my Whiskey bottle back?" Severus asked, blinking to clear his vision.

"Hang on a second," Hermione said, backing out of the room and disappearing.

"The bottle's in here," Severus slurred, "not out there."

She reappeared a second later, a vial of something in her hand.

"I know," she said, breathlessly. "I've brought you something else instead."

He looked over at her blurred face. She was _staring_ at him.

"Enjoy what you see, Miss Granger?" He noted in satisfaction that even drunk he could make her blush. Actually, he seemed to do a much better job of it when he was drunk. Mind you, he was naked.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, then approached him slowly like he was some dangerous animal that might suddenly turn and bite off her hand.

"Here, drink this." She pulled the cork from the vial and put it to his lips, tipping it so the oily liquid ran into his mouth. He swallowed before he realized what it was.

_A sobering potion! The evil, evil woman._

His head instantly cleared and Severus groaned, closing his eyes.

"If I had wanted to be sober, I would have been," he pointed out, shivering, suddenly cold now the alcohol in his system had been neutralized. "Now I'm going to have to drink all that all over again."

"I wanted to talk to you," Hermione said, still looking at him. He wondered how much she could see under the bubbles in the water.

"And I told you I didn't want to talk to you," Severus said. "Now leave."

He pulled himself out of the bath, water dripping from his body and raised his eyebrows as Hermione turned her back, refusing to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger," Severus said in a sarcastic tone. "Am I offending those delicate sensibilities of yours?"

"Stop it," she said, her voice sounding like she was on the verge of tears. She suddenly turned around and faced him; her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Stop pushing me away. One minute you're kind and caring, and the next you're like this. I don't know where I stand with you. It's like you're a stray dog who's been badly mistreated and every time I pat you, I risk losing a finger."

Severus stared at the girl, reaching for a towel and drying himself slowly, watching her speak.

"I think my letter covered where we both stand, didn't it?" His voice was suddenly tired. He didn't want to do this any more – the letter was supposed to be the end of it. He'd help her and the baby financially and that would be the end of all contact between them. No more confusion for either of them. It was what he knew she wanted; it was what she said she'd wanted in that bloody letter of hers.

"You cared, I know you did." She looked up at Severus, watching him as he walked past her, leaving the bathroom with his towel precariously tied around his waist.

He turned to check that she was following him and he wasn't talking to himself.

"I can't deny I felt something, Miss Granger," Severus said. "What man wouldn't with a young girl in his bedroom, throwing herself…"

He was interrupted as her hand lifted to slap him. He deftly caught it before it made contact with her face.

"Temper, temper, Miss Granger," Severus said in a mocking tone. "You wouldn't want me to take points from your precious Gryffindor, would you?"

"You really don't have a heart," she said, her voice choked as she tried to tear her arm out of Severus' strong grasp.

"Yes, you keep saying that," Severus said, using his free hand to reach for the cloak he had discarded over the back of his sofa earlier. There was no point in him dressing properly, when as soon as she'd gone he was going to retire to his room to drink himself into the same oblivion she had just rudely and abruptly pulled him out of.

"You said you cared."

"The last time I replied to that, I nearly got slapped," Severus pointed out, letting go of her arm to pull his cloak on.

Hermione looked at the floor. "I didn't come here to argue, I just…"

"Just what?" he prompted.

"Just… wanted you to know that although I won't take your money, you can see the baby. I mean, if you want to, and I know you don't. But just in case you were interested…"

He stared at her for at least a minute, his expression completely unreadable.

"Right, well, I suppose not. I'd better get back to the ward, before Poppy sends Aurors after me or something." He looked at him, her lip trembling. God, she was in a state.

She turned to leave, shivering in the cold of the dungeons. She wished she'd bothered to put some clothes on, but she'd wanted to see Severus so badly that she hadn't wanted to waste the time. He had sounded so defeated, so… resigned to being alone. But this wasn't the same man who had written that letter. This man _wanted_ to be alone.

"Hermione?" Severus' voice was unsure and it seemed to leave his mouth through a will of it's own.

She didn't turn around, but felt him walk up behind her, standing so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Come and lie with me." He spoke close to her ear, his breath tickling as he spoke.

She let him take her hand and lead her into his bedroom; the one he had slept in to get away from memories of her. Now this room would be haunted by her too, he knew. He'd never be able to sleep peacefully again.

Leaving his robes on, he pulled back the covers on his four-poster bed and got in, letting go of her hand. It was ridiculous to keep his robes on, as minutes earlier they'd been having a full conversation while he was naked, but he didn't want her to think he was trying to seduce her.

She hesitated for a moment, looking unsure of what she was meant to do next. He wondered if she really did think he wanted sex and wished he'd made the offer plainer. He just wanted to be near her. If she hadn't followed him into his room, he'd just have gone up to the hospital ward later and sat next to her bed instead.

She turned and looked at him, her mouth opening, then shutting again as she decided not to say whatever had just come into her head.

"You don't have to stay," he said, gently.

A smile touched her lips and she walked around to the other side of his. She pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with him, still wearing her cloak too.

"Aren't you going to take those off?" Severus asked, his nose wrinkling in disgust as he spied her large, pink rabbit slippers.

She grinned and kicked them off, sending them flying across the room. Severus could have sworn he heard one of them squeak in protest.

"Nox," he said, thankful the light had gone, which meant he no longer had to see those hideous slippers.

After a moment of silence, he felt Hermione move next to him.

"Severus?"

"Yes?" His voice was wary.

"Do you mind if I…" She hesitated.

"Spit it out, girl," Severus said, his words harsh, but his voice gentle.

"I can't sleep in these robes. I can't move in them."

"I know the feeling," Severus admitted, grimacing in the darkness as he tried to get his arm free, yards of material trapping it underneath him.

"So you don't mind…?" Her voice was timid.

"You've seen me stark naked and inebriated tonight, Hermione," Severus pointed out, refraining from reminding her that he'd also seen her naked, when she'd been whimpering and arching against him. _God, that seemed so long ago now…_

Except he couldn't think about that, not while he had her in his bed. Especially not now he could feel her struggling out of her robes. Was she naked underneath those? He shrugged his off too; careful not to touch her as he did so.

They lay in silence for a minute or so, both shivering as the cold bedcovers took their time warming to the heat of their bodies.

"I'm sorry I disturbed your bath," Hermione said, her voice muffled as she talked without lifting her head from the soft pillow. "Although I do think that next time you decide to drink yourself silly, you should probably steer clear of water. You could have drowned."

"Trying to save my life again, Hermione?" he asked. He knew he shouldn't be calling her by her first name, but she was having his baby for Merlin's sake. They had been as improper as they were going to get; it felt ridiculous hanging onto such a ridiculously small formality.

"I can't – I promised," Hermione reminded him.

"Do you always keep your promises?" Severus asked, not knowing where the ridiculous conversation was going, but finding it oddly comforting. He'd not fallen asleep with someone in his bed for years. The last time he had, it had been his sister, hiding from the drunken wrath of his father.

"I try to," Hermione said, snuggling further under the covers. _This was nice…_

"Have you ever broken a promise?" she asked, conversationally.

"Just one," he answered, his voice suddenly quiet.

"Oh." Hermione's voice was quiet and he realized she wasn't going to push him to expand.

"I promised my sister I would leave the Death Eaters and go into hiding," he said, the words coming out of his mouth without first getting permission from his brain. "That was the last time I spoke to her."

"That's a difficult promise to keep," Hermione said, quietly understanding.

"Yes."

Hermione reached out and felt for his hand. He jumped as he felt her fingers brush against his arm, then he relaxed, letting her small hand creep into his large one. He closed his hand over hers and held it tightly.

"Are you going back next time he summons you?" she asked, biting her lip at the feeling of her hand in his. Somehow it seemed more intimate than anything they'd done before, just lying in the darkness, holding hands.

"I don't know," he said, truthfully. "I'm sure Albus has some plan up his sleeve – he usually does."

"I wish you didn't have to go. Every time you leave, you might not come back."

Severus felt his hand tighten around hers and wondered if his whole body was acting without him this evening; first his mouth, letting him talk about things he'd never talk to anyone about; and now his hand, clasped around hers so tightly as if it were afraid to let her go.

"I've been coming back for a lot of years now," he said. His voice had an edge to it, not because of the subject matter, but because he had started to get an erection from the mere presence of Hermione in his bed. Yes, his whole body was definitely acting without permission.

_I'm turning into a bloody teenager,_ he thought, trying to will his erection away. Except… he was enjoying it. He was enjoying just lying with Hermione Granger, even if other parts of him were most definitely not content with just lying with Hermione Granger.

Actually, his mind wasn't so content just lying with her, either. He felt himself harden more as he had to force himself to stop his free hand from reaching out to touch her.

"If you didn't go back to Voldemort, would you stay here, or go into hiding?" Hermione asked, completely oblivious to Severus' discomfort.

"I'm not sure," he confessed.

Then he sighed. "I've never been unsure of anything in my life before. I've always made decisions easily, be they right or wrong. Now there are so many decisions I have to make and I don't know what I want anymore. I feel so alone."

He closed his eyes in horror. _What on earth had possessed him to come out with all that?_ He let go of Hermione's hand and wracked his mind for a way to get her out of his bed and out of his chambers. He needed to be alone.

"I know how you feel," the girl next to him whispered, letting him remove his hand, but leaving her own lying next to his. "I have the same sort of decisions to make, although admittedly Draco Malfoy is a lot less terrifying than Voldemort. And there's no one who understands. Except for you and Albus, and Albus only understands in theory."

"Do you know what you're going to do?" he asked, preoccupied with trying to get her to leave and not really paying any attention to the conversation.

"I don't have many choices," Hermione replied, well aware of how uncomfortable Severus had suddenly become. "I can go into hiding where my parents are, away from everything and everyone I know and love, or stay here and try to make Draco change his mind about taking me to Voldemort. Neither option is very appealing."

At Severus' silence, she added, "And I can only stay here until I start showing, then I'll have to leave anyway, or else Draco will go after the baby as well as me."

She couldn't bring herself to say 'our' baby, not with Severus lying so stiffly next to her. She put a hand on her stomach, feeling for a swell that still hadn't developed. She hadn't had long to get used to the idea of being pregnant, but she already felt warm when she thought about it. Warm and excited at the same time, and terrified, of course. She wasn't kidding herself that it would be easy, but she also knew that she wanted this baby. Desperately.

"Draco will never be able to touch you, or the baby," Severus said, stiffly. "I will not allow it."

"You're not always around, Severus," she pointed out. "Besides, I'd have to leave anyway; the baby is due about a month before the end of term. I can hardly sit my exams with a baby crying in the corner of the room."

Hermione swallowed hard. What was the point of her staying at Hogwarts at all? Draco wanted to give her to Voldemort, Ron wasn't talking to her, the one person she wanted to be around tensed up and went cold on her at random, and now she had finally admitted to herself that she wouldn't even be able to take her exams.

"I think I've made my decision," Hermione said, sitting up and pulling the covers back. What was the point of staying here with him, when she knew he didn't really want her there? Besides, Poppy would be looking for her.

"And that decision is…?" Severus' voice was disinterested and Hermione felt a stab of hurt in her chest. Why was he doing this again?

"There's nothing left for me here," Hermione said, swallowing again. Now, where had she kicked those God-awful slippers? She'd never find them in the dark, but didn't want Severus to see her, in case she started crying. She felt permanently on the edge of very differing, extreme emotions these days.

"Nothing left?" he asked.

"My friends; my studies; Draco; What's the point of it all?" She put out her hand. "Accio slippers."

Severus winced as he pictured those hideous slippers flying through the air. Now that was something he'd have nightmares about.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked, his voice smooth. What on earth was wrong with him? One minute he wanted her to go, the next he wanted her to stay? The woman had turned him schizophrenic.

Hermione's laugh was one of bitter amusement and it made him wince. "I thought I'd leave, before you found a way to get rid of me."

She reached for her cloak, not bothering to put the hospital nightgown back on. It wasn't as if the flimsy material made any difference in the cold of the stone castle anyway.

Severus raised his eyebrow in the darkness. Being read so well was disconcerting at the very least.

"You can still stay here and take your exams," he said, ignoring what she had just said. "There will be someone to take care of the child while you take them, presuming you still have the capacity to study with all the upheaval. I rather thought you faced challenges, rather than running away from them. It appears I am sadly wrong."

For a moment, Hermione was speechless; but only for a moment.

"Sadly wrong?!" she exclaimed, breathless with indignation. "You _told _me to leave. You shouted at me to leave! Suddenly you think I should stay? Why? Why the sudden turn-about?"

Why indeed…? 

Severus sat in silence for a moment, not knowing how to answer her because he didn't know his reasons himself. Then it came to him; a reason that wasn't personal and wouldn't send her running.

"Albus is going to offer you a position at the school," Severus said, knowing Albus would have his hide for telling her, but not really caring. "He is well aware of the difficulties you will face and is prepared to be flexible."

"A… position?" She paused in the middle of fastening her robe.

"The idea is for you to apprentice Professor McGonagall in Transfigurations. Your specialty, I hear," Severus said. "It works much the same as going to University, except you have one personal tutor and are guaranteed a job here at the end of the three years."

"Professor McGonagall will be leaving?" Hermione asked in horror.

"No, but Albus is planning on taking less of an integral role where the running of the school is concerned. He's not retiring, but is giving up most of his duties as Headmaster."

"Professor McGonagall is going to eventually become Headmistress?" Hermione asked, to clarify.

"Yes," Severus answered, then added under his breath, "Merlin save us all."

Hermione smiled in the darkness and then frowned as she felt and heard Severus pulling his covers back and getting out of bed. He padded naked and barefoot around to her, oblivious to the cold of the stone floor, or the chill of the dungeon air.

"I don't want you to leave," his voice said, close to her face. She was intensely aware that he was naked, standing close enough for any part of his body to brush against her. "I am well aware of my unfathomable mood swings where you are concerned, but I do want you here; here at Hogwarts for however long you can put up with the students, and here in my bed right now."

"You don't have to be nice, just because of…" Of the baby, she was going to say, as both she and Severus knew.

Severus didn't answer. After a second, Hermione's eyes widened as she realized he had lowered himself to his knees on the floor beside her. He reached up and started deftly unfastening her half fastened robes.

Severus could hear her breath catch as his finger accidentally brushed against a side of her bare breast as he pushed the robes from her shoulders. He hadn't meant this to turn into what it was definitely turning into. He'd just wanted to make her see that he did want her there – to undress her, pull her back into bed with him, then fall asleep with her.

Which admittedly was still precisely what he was going to do; except for the falling asleep bit.

Hermione bit back a groan as he let his knuckles brush against the outside of her thigh as he put his hand on the bed to push himself back onto his feet. He reached for her hands in the darkness, making Hermione shiver as he pulled her to her feet, her naked body brushing against his for a second, before he moved away and started leading her around the bed.

She followed him, her eyes closed. She couldn't see him in this room, even with her eyes open, and she suddenly desperately wanted to. She knew that the minute this was over, he'd back away again, and considered backing away first, before anything could happen that he'd regret.

He sat on the edge of the bed, lifting her hands to his shoulders and placing them there. He was letting her decide.

She hesitantly ran her hands over his shoulders and down over his upper arms, feeling the goose pimples on his skin. She lifted her hands from his shoulders to his hair and let her fingers run through the silky strands, making him shiver.

"Do you know a warming charm for the room?" she asked, her voice husky.

Severus let out the breath he'd been holding from the moment her hands started to move.

"That is not why I'm shivering," he informed her in a soft voice, biting back a groan as she leaned closer to hear him and accidentally brushed against his erection with her thigh.

_He really had been way too long without a woman,_ he decided. Hermione was affecting him in ways he hadn't felt for years.

"Incendio," he spoke, pointing his finger at the fireplace Hermione had been too preoccupied to notice. Suddenly she could see him, the light from the flames dancing over his naked skin and making his eyes shine. The heat immediately started warming the room.

Hermione's hands shook a little as they returned to his shoulders and she bit her lip to stop that shaking too. It suddenly all seemed so real now she could see deep black eyes, staring into hers. The last time she had touched him, she hadn't been together enough to look at him, but now she couldn't stop.

His body was thin, but his muscles were well defined. His arms were amazing and bizarrely reminded Hermione of those of a guitar player. She supposed that all that stirring cauldrons must have done that to him – he always told them that using magic to stir the cauldrons was never as reliable as doing it by hand.

His body was pale, with a dusky spattering of hair over his arms and stomach. It made her want to reach out and touch it. Then she looked lower. She licked her lips, oblivious to Severus' intense gaze as he watched her looking at his naked body. God, she wanted to taste him. She'd always thought of it as being something you just did to pleasure a man; never before had she actually craved having someone in her mouth.

She lifted her eyes to meet Severus' and was caught in his intense eyes. As she stood stock still, starting at him, he let his eyes wander over her body, taking in her pale skin and full breasts. He remembered what it was like to taste those and wondered if she'd still let him now, or if the pregnancy had made them sore to touch.

He let his eyes linger on her almost completely flat stomach, where his baby was just under the surface. He was hit with an almost uncontrollable urge to press his hand to her stomach, but stopped himself. This was up to Hermione – if she wanted him, she had to start touching him. He wasn't going to do anything to tempt her, so that once this was all over there would no doubt in his mind as to whether she wanted it to happen or not.

His eyes kept moving down, but his visual exploration was interrupted as Hermione stepped forwards. She moved so she was standing between his thighs, pushing them wider apart as she stood so close to him that all he needed to do was lean forward to take one of her perfect pink nipples into his mouth.

He gritted his teeth and forced himself not to move.

She lifted her hands to his hair again, running her fingers through it and then letting them lightly brush against his neck. She ran her fingers over his shoulders and leaned forward a little to run them over the top of his back. Her breasts brushed against his face and he closed his eyes for a second, trying to control any urges he had to grab her and throw her onto his bed.

"Don't you want me?" she whispered, leaning back to look into his eyes. Her eyes were full of passion and doubt.

"I want you," he confirmed, his voice gruff.

_God, how he wanted her._

"Don't you want to touch me?" she asked, reaching for his hand and taking it in her own.

He let her lift his hand to her breast, his breathing getting heavier as she ran his fingertips over her nipple before carrying on, letting his fingers touch her stomach. He flattened his palm against her stomach and looked into her eyes.

She stared back, holding his hand firmly against her stomach. Then she slowly started moving his hand again, letting his fingers brush the curls between her legs. He swallowed hard as he felt the backs of his fingers get wet as she moved his hand between her legs.

_There's willpower, and then there's insanity,_ Severus decided, turning his hand of his own accord and letting a finger move to slide in between the wet folds. _God, she was hot. And so, so ready for him._

She moaned as he found her clitoris, stroking it expertly in small, slow circles, making her knees buckle underneath her.

Suddenly the hand was gone and she moaned, feeling bereft. Her eyes opened slowly and she gazed at him, her eyes pleading. He was just sitting there, his head tipped slightly to one side, the look on his face one of intense concentration. Why wasn't he touching her…?

"Severus?" she asked breathlessly. "What…?"

He put his fingers gently to her lips and carefully got to his feet, pulling his cloak around himself as he moved to the door.

She quickly scrabbled for her cloak and made to follow Severus out of the room. She took a step, her wand grasped tightly in her hand, then she heard voices.

"So you're saying Miss Granger isn't here?" Poppy's voice carried to Hermione's ears.

"Miss Granger is quite safe, Poppy," Albus' tired voice assured the frantic sounding Medi-Witch. "You wanted to see if she was here and as you can see Severus is quite alone. Miss Granger will be back in her bed by the morning. She's a very sensible girl, I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

"I don't know why I bother!" Poppy said, sounding sulky. Hermione heard footsteps and smiled to herself. Poppy was stomping out in a temper. She felt vaguely guilty for worrying her, but she was eighteen, for God sake! And she wasn't an invalid – she was only in there to rest.

"Sorry to disturb your sleep…" Albus apologized.

Hermione knew Severus would be furious with her for getting him in the middle of this. He must think she was such a child, with people coming to check up on her whereabouts. She sighed, preparing for the annoyed Professor's wrath as he started back to his bedroom.

"Goodnight Severus," Albus said, then added in a louder voice, "Goodnight Hermione."

Hermione cringed, before calling out, "Night, sir…"

She flattened herself against the wall next to the door and waited for Severus to return.

"I'm sorry," she started to apologize, but Severus raised his hand to silence her.

Hermione gazed up at him, chewing her lip nervously. She jumped as Severus lifted his hands to Hermione's still unfastened robe and pushed it to the floor, making her shiver. Leaving it to pool around her feet, he took her hand and let her to the bed, gently pushing her so she was sitting on the edge.

He lifted his hand to her face, gently cupping her face.

"Goodnight, Hermione," he said in a soft voice. Then he walked around to his own side of the bed and dropped his cloak to the floor, giving Hermione a quick glimpse of his naked back.

He waved his hand and the fire was suddenly extinguished. The room was black, except for the glowing embers in the fire, which had yet to cool down. Severus lay on his back and pulled his covers up, smiling a satisfied smile when he realized she was doing the same.

"Goodnight, Severus," she whispered back, reaching for his hand.


	22. Chapter 22

Hermione opened her eyes, immediately wide-awake. She turned on her side and tried to defocus her eyes enough to see Severus' face. Only she was too close and was going cross-eyed trying to see him properly.

_If he wakes up now, _she thought with a wry smile,_ he'll get the fright of his life – big, bad Death Eater or not._

She gently rolled back on her back and looked around the dimly lit room. She wondered briefly where the light was coming from – they were in the Dungeons for God sake. Why have those big velvet curtains when there couldn't possibly be a window this low down?

Severus' breathing was light, so light Hermione could barely hear it. She looked down at his half uncovered chest and bit her lip. Yes, it was the next morning; the light of day when her sanity should have returned, and she still wanted him. Quite badly in fact.

Except she knew with almost absolute certainty how the peacefully sleeping man next to her would react when he woke up and remembered how much he'd let down his guard. He'd talked to her, held her hand and touched her (admittedly not as much as she'd wanted him to). He was going to remember, close his heart off to her, then go all cold again. And she wasn't sure she could handle that. Not right now.

She rolled off the bed as quietly as she could, closing her eyes as the now familiar early morning bout of nausea hit her. Actually, it had moved from being 'early morning' nausea, to being 'whenever she was hungry' nausea. The evil thing being that she felt too sick to eat, but until she ate she'd feel sick. And she felt too sick to eat. And so on.

_God is definitely a man._

She pulled on her hospital gown and cloak, then shoved her feet in her bunny slippers, wincing at the indignant squeaks that each of them gave. Harry really picked some awful presents. One year he'd got her one of those incredibly tacky Nodding Dogs, which would have been bad enough on it's own, but this was a Wizarding Nodding Dog. Rover (that had been the name on its collar) had barked manically whenever she walked into the room and refused to stop until she was finally forced to leave the room. And every now and again it winked at her in an 'I know something you don't know' sort of a way.

She wondered, with a brief stab of guilt, if it was now barking and winking at the fish as they went by. It had just… slipped from her hand as she'd been walking by the river a month or so after she'd received it.

As she got to the door, she turned to take one last look at her partially covered, slumbering Potions Master. She knew she had to leave before he woke up and threw her out, but part of her wanted to just walk back over to his bed, take his face in her hands and kiss him awake.

_I've fallen in love with him,_ she admitted to herself, cringing. _God, I'm stupid._

She closed her eyes for a second, before turning on her heel and quietly walking out. She owed Poppy an apology, and then she needed to get ready for her first day back at class. She'd been studying a lot while she had been in the Infirmary, but she had missed the lectures and they made all the difference.

_Especially in Potions, _she thought, with a little mental shiver. _That voice… God, I love it when he lectures in that deep, silky voice._

The she shook herself. This really was getting ridiculous. She was Hermione Granger – her classmates were the ones who obsessed over boys, while she looked on with an indulgent smile then went back to her books. And now she was obsessing over a man, one of the most impossible men she'd ever met, (a position which was no mean feat – she knew the Weasleys).

_Ridiculous,_ she muttered to herself, striding into the hospital wing and almost walking into Poppy, who was on her hands and knees picking small purple pills off the floor, which must have fallen from the bottle in her hand.

"Hermione!" Poppy exclaimed, straightening up and sounding out of breath. "You're back! Where were you last night? I looked everywhere, but Albus insisted…"

"I spent the night with a friend," Hermione interrupted, bending to help Poppy pick up the rest of the pills. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going – I was upset at the time."

"You need to relax more," Poppy said, her hands on her hips. "All this rushing about! If I didn't know it would go in one ear and out of the other, I'd insist you stayed in here another few days."

"I've got my NEWTs to take in a few months," Hermione reminded the Witch for the hundredth time. "I'll not pass if I miss any more classes."

"Rubbish," Poppy declared, handing her a cup of water, which Hermione took gratefully. Water usually helped her nausea a little.

"Eat this," she instructed, handing Hermione a Digestive biscuit from her pocket. "You know you're a brilliant enough student to have a few more days off without trouble. But we've been through all this before and I know I can't win. Just promise me you'll keep coming in for checkups."

"Of course," Hermione said, smiling at Poppy as she nibbled on her biscuit.

"You were with the father?" Poppy asked, turning to put the pills back on the shelf. "Does he know yet?"

Hermione nodded. "He knows."

_He just doesn't seem to care._

"How is he taking it?" Poppy asked gently. She had grown attached to Hermione over the time she'd had her in the Infirmary and wished she could help her through all the hard things she was going to have to go through. If she just didn't have to go through them alone…

"He hasn't said," Hermione said, shrugging as if she didn't really care, only the misery in her eyes betraying her. "He's not very easy to read."

_The understatement of the year,_ she thought almost despairingly.

Poppy reached out and gave the small girl an impromptu hug.

"If you need to talk, I'm always here," Poppy said, giving Hermione one last squeeze, before going into the next room to see to her other patients.

Hermione stared after her, before dashing the sudden tears away with the back of her hand. Hugging always made her cry when she was already upset. She was just fine until someone wrapped their arms around her, and then she was lost and all bravery flew out of the window.

She left behind all the possessions she had needed for her stay in the Infirmary, knowing they would appear in her quarters shortly after she did. Then she walked back to Gryffindor Tower, glad it was still too early for someone to bump into her. Not that she was ashamed of the bunny slippers exactly…

Severus woke up feeling curiously well rested. He smiled and turned on his side, opening one eye to check on Hermione, as he'd done a couple of times in the night. Both eyes flew open and he sat up, looking at the large expanse of empty bed.

"Accio dressing gown," he said, getting to his feet and walking across the cold stone floor to search the rest of his chambers for the girl.

He could smell the musky perfume she wore, so she couldn't have been gone long. He walked back into the bedroom and put his hand on the pillow, checking to see if it was still warm.

_Why would she just leave like that?_ He thought, sitting heavily down on the bed. _Have I done something wrong?_

He thought back to how she'd found him in the bath, completely drunk and full of self-pity.

_That probably didn't help matters,_ he thought, with a grimace.

Then he'd insulted her, spilled his guts to her and then touched her when he'd promised himself he wouldn't. But he'd been so sure that she had wanted him. He had finally convinced himself that she at least cared a little – enough for them to at least cultivate some sort of friendship, given time. And maybe that way he could also be a small part of his child's life.

_But apparently she doesn't feel the same way_, he thought, resting his head in his hands and groaning. _Or she'd be here now; instead of running off before she had to face me._

Here so he could touch her, kiss her and hold her. Except she had disappeared; so quietly and stealthily that even he hadn't woken. He had been a spy for twenty or so years, how on earth hadn't he heard her leave? Had he become that bewitched by her that he'd actually let his guard down?

The awful idea hit him that she was actually _ashamed_ to have spent the night in his rooms.

He glowered and got to his feet.

_At least I have first year Gryffindor again this morning, _he thought with some satisfaction. _I can see how many of them I can make cry. That should help to cheer me up immensely._

Professor Binns was at his most boring that morning and even Hermione was starting to fall into a bored stupor. She was sitting next to Harry instead of Ron that morning. Ron had smiled at her nervously and then had gone to sit with Neville, leaving Harry and Hermione to pair up.

Harry had given her a sympathetic smile, then had given Ron a warning frown, which the red-haired boy had pointedly ignored. She wondered what she'd have to do to fix things between herself and Ron.

Maybe he'd like a nice pair of pink bunny slippers… 

A note being shoved under her nose made her blink and come back down to earth. Luckily her hand seemed to have the ability to copy down notes without needing her brain to actually be switched on first; a talent she was very grateful for in these classes.

'_We need to talk,'_ the note read cryptically in Harry's messy scrawl.

'_What about?' _Hermione wrote back, before moving her pen back to her book to carry on writing down whatever Professor Binns was droning on about. Professor Binns was the only lecturer Hermione wasn't fond of. She didn't think his teaching methods were good, or his ideas up to date. But then, what could you expect from a man who had been dead several years?

'_Those ingredients you wanted me to… get,' _Harry wrote back, looking at her from under the fringe that had flopped into his eyes again.

_Oh. Bugger._

'_Don't need them any more,' _Hermione wrote back, suddenly distracted enough from her note taking to have to force herself to concentrate enough to take notes again.

'_I figured,'_ Harry wrote back, not looking at her this time. _'When are you going to tell Ron he's going to be a dad?'_

Hermione's eyes widened and her body forgot to breathe. She gave a little yelp, then covered it with a cough. Just then, the bell rang for the next lesson. Hermione closed her eyes.

They flew open again as a hand came down in front of her and snatched the piece of paper she and Harry had been writing on.

_Goyle. No, no, no._ Of all people, Draco and his gang could _not _read what Harry had written.

Hermione reached to snatch the paper back, but Goyle, being over a foot taller than her, easily held it out of her reach.

"Give that back Goyle, or I'll hex you so fast you…"

What Harry would have done to Goyle, Hermione would never find out. Harry had suddenly stopped talking in shock as Draco Malfoy had reached over Goyle's shoulder and plucked the note from his fingers. Then he handed the note back to Hermione without even sparing it a glance, before turning and walking out of the classroom, leaving a gobsmacked Harry, Ron and Goyle in his wake.

"Did you see that?" Ron asked as the bewildered Goyle stomped off. Ron was so shocked he hadn't even realized he had walked over and was coming over to stand next to Hermione. "Or am I hallucinating again? Pink Hippogriffs aren't about to come ice-skating into the room are they?"

"Pink Hippogriffs?" Hermione asked, looking confused and relieved at the same time. Whatever Severus had said to Draco had definitely had an effect. Being '_niced_' to death was going to be… interesting.

"Don't ask," Harry said, shaking his head. "Though it still couldn't possibly be as weird as that. Was Malfoy just… nice?"

Hermione shook her head, as if to clear it. They had their Potions class to get to and she didn't want to draw attention to herself by being late.

"Come on," she said, taking both Ron and Harry's arms, ignoring Ron's flinch. "Harry and I need to get to Potions before Professor Snape decides to lock us out again, like the last time we were about thirty seconds late. And you can walk us there, Ron."

Harry and Ron let her lead them to the dungeons without protest, still in shock from Draco's kind act she supposed. She used the time to think, quickly. So Harry hadn't trusted her and he'd gone and looked up those ingredients she'd sent him for. It wouldn't have taken more than twenty minutes of research to work out that she had been going to make a Pregnancy Testing Potion.

_And now he thinks I'm pregnant to Ron!_ Hermione thought almost frantically, as she walked into the Potions classroom. _What on earth am I going to tell him? "No Harry, Professor Snape's the father. He's bloody sexy naked, in case you were wondering."_

The rest of the relatively small class were already sitting down, the three other houses sitting as far away as possible from the only two Slytherins. Hermione waved goodbye to Ron, who had a free period and was using the time to go and visit Hagrid in his hut.

_I'm going to be so bloody friendly and pushy that Ron is going to **have**__to stop being a prat and talk to me,_ Hermione decided.

It was a pretty good plan and Hermione was pretty sure it would work, given enough time. She was pretty sure the same method wouldn't work for Severus Snape though. He was a Slytherin and therefore needed manipulating subtly, or knocking on the head with something heavy – either one would do, although the latter would admittedly sometimes be much more satisfying.

She automatically unpacked her bag and started following the instructions on the blackboard, without actually thinking about them. The potion they were working on was a simple Vanishing Potion; the only reason it was in the Advanced Potions class was that the ingredients had to be perfectly chopped, grated and ground, or the potion was rendered useless. Younger students almost always failed to make this potion as they lacked the practice needed to work with such precision.

As she started to carefully shred the Willow bark, she suddenly became aware of the fact that she was being watched. She glanced around the classroom, until her eyes landed on Draco Malfoy. He had stopped shredding and was just staring at her. As their eyes met, Draco quickly looked away with a grimace.

_Bizarre._

Except she still felt like she was being watched. She turned her head again and finally noticed Severus, standing in the doorway of his storeroom, leaning against the wall, his arms folded. His eyes were dark and brooding and he was watching her with such intensity that Hermione shivered.

She met his eyes bravely, refusing to look away. His eyes narrowed.

_Sleep well last night? _Severus' sarcastic voice echoed around her head, making her jump. She looked around at the nine other members of the class, who were still grating and chopping as if Severus had never said a word.

She looked back at him, a small frown on her small face.

_How?_

Severus smirked, then unfolded his arms and walked over to Hermione's desk.

"Something wrong, Miss Granger?" he said out loud.

"No Professor, nothing," Hermione said, still holding his gaze.

"If you can't concentrate on your work, I shall be forced to rid myself of your presence and send you back to the Infirmary. Is that clear, Miss Granger? I will not tolerate daydreaming in my class."

"Yes sir," Hermione answered, not letting his sharp tone get to her today. She tried to ignore Harry's fuming presence beside her.

"Heartless bastard," Harry whispered as Severus strode back to his desk. "Surely he knows about your mum and dad? And you're only just out of hospital…"

"Silence Potter!" Severus shouted from the front of the class, making every student jump. "Or you will be needing a trip to the Infirmary yourself."

Harry glowered, but turned back to his work. He needed to get his Potion's NEWT to become an Auror and he wasn't going to let Snape get to either him, or Hermione. He reached out and put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it gently, comfortingly.

Hermione reached down and squeezed the hand on her leg in a 'message received' sort of a way. They both shared a smile.

Hermione was just working out how to remove Harry's hand from her leg without offending him, when she suddenly felt a hand clapped down on her shoulder. She yelped, jumping and dropping the scalpel she had been holding.

"Outside," Severus snapped, a hand on both Harry and Hermione's shoulders. "Now."

Hermione and Harry got to their feet and let themselves be marched out of the classroom, into the hallway. The classroom door slammed behind the three of them and Severus turned to his two scared and bewildered looking students.

"I have warned you both," Severus said, his voice so low they had to strain to hear it. "And still you sit in my class, groping each other."

Hermione looked at Severus, her eyes wide. "We weren't…"

"Silence!" Severus hissed, moving his face close to Hermione's. "You may think that my apparent concern for your well-being entitles you to liberties no one else has, but I can assure you…"

"It wasn't what you thought it was," Hermione interrupted, suddenly furious. Her eyes flashed as she looked at him. "And even if it was, it hardly warrants all this."

"I thought I told you to keep quiet!" he snarled, grabbing Hermione's shoulders in a hard grip.

"What are we supposed to have done?" Harry asked, his hand reaching for the wand in his pocket, getting ready to hex Snape if he hurt Hermione.

"Do you want me to hex you, Potter?" Severus snarled, whipping his head round to glare at Harry, before turning back to Hermione.

"Grope your _boyfriend_ out of class, if you must." Severus sneered the word 'boyfriend' as if it was something nasty, his mouth no more than a couple of inches from hers. "But never in my class. _Never._ Do you understand?"

He shook her shoulders, not hard, but hard enough to make her head snap up. Her eyes met his and she felt a stab of awareness run through her body. His dark eyes flashed with some intense, mostly buried emotion.

_Was he… jealous?_

"Harry, can you just go for a little walk? Come back in a few minutes," Hermione said calmly, still holding Severus' gaze.

"And leave you alone with him? You've got to be kidding."

"I need to talk to Professor Snape," Hermione said, gritting her teeth. "And it's private."

"There is nothing more to say, Miss Granger," Severus said, letting go of Hermione's shoulders and taking a step back. "Get back to class, and never let me see you acting in such a disgusting way again."

"I only put my hand on her knee, for God sake!" Harry said, fuming. "It wasn't as if I pushed her over the desk and…"

"Harry, please don't finish that sentence," Hermione quickly interrupted, wincing as Severus rounded on him, his wand suddenly gripped tightly in his hand.

"Have you gone completely insane?" she hissed, reaching for his shoulder and trying to pull him back as he advanced on Harry.

"Harry, for God sake, go. Leave me to deal with this." Hermione pulled at Severus' shoulder again.

"Don't force me to Stupefy you both," she warned, as Harry and Snape circled each other, wands at the ready.

Harry took his eyes away from Severus for long enough to give Hermione a look of confusion. He was trying to help her and she was threatening to Stupefy him?!

Severus merely ignored Hermione, which annoyed her even more.

"Do you really think you can take me, Potter?" Severus sneered. "All that fame really has gone to your head."

"Expelleramus!" Hermione snapped, her hand out. Both Severus and Harry's wands flew through the air and into Hermione's outstretched hand.

Harry stood with his mouth open, gaping at Hermione, while Severus rounded on her, his eyes flashing.

"Hand me my wand," he said through gritted teeth. "Now."

Hermione turned to the flabbergasted Harry.

"Do you really want to end up expelled for hexing a teacher?" Hermione asked, exasperated. "Go back into the classroom. I'll try to sort this out and Professor Snape can tell me whatever punishment he's decided on. I'll talk to you after class."

At Harry's hesitation, Hermione glowered.

"Go!" she said, giving Harry her very best intimidating glare.

Harry shrugged, defeated. As the classroom door shut again, Hermione turned back to Severus.

"My wand, Miss Granger," he said, leaning against the wall again, his arms folded, mimicking the pose he had adopted earlier.

"Not yet," she said, putting all three wands in her cloak pocket for safekeeping.

"You may be able to treat Potter like an infant, child," Severus drawled. "But you are sadly mistaken if you think you can give me orders."

"You were out of order, as you well know." Hermione folded her arms in front of her in an unconscious gesture of self-defence. It made her look vulnerable and Severus hardened his heart against her.

"Was I really? How terrible."

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but you must see that you overreacted?" Hermione sighed.

"I will conduct my classes however I see fit, Miss Granger," Severus said, pushing away from the wall. "And your conduct was out of order, as _you_ well know."

"Fine, then punish us as you would anyone else," she said, hands on her hips once more. "But don't let petty jealousies get in the way."

Severus stared at Hermione for so long she started to feel uncomfortable. Had she pushed him too far? She took a step away from him, preparing to run if she had to.

He waved his hand in the direction of the classroom door, muttering some sort of locking charm. Then he advanced on her, taking hold of her by the shoulders and pushing her backwards until she was pressed hard against the cold stone wall.

He let go of her shoulders, running his hands down her arms all the way to her wrists, which he then circled with his fingers, gripping them tightly. He lifted them above her head, using one hand to pin them both to the wall, leaving her feeling exposed and helpless.

He reached behind her head and took a fistful of her hair in his hand.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for your conduct with Potter," he murmured silkily. He gripped her hair more tightly in his fist, making her head tip back as she winced. He moved closer and ran the tip of his nose and lips from her ear, down her neck, all the way to the base of her throat. His hot breath against her skin made Hermione shiver.

"Fifty points for his conduct with you," he carried on, using his free hand to tear the sides of her robe apart impatiently. He carried on, moving his warm lips slowly down her bare chest, making her breathe hard.

"Fifty points for answering me back," he said, using his mouth and lips to push the material still further down, closing his eyes as he realized the girl wasn't wearing a bra. It was almost his undoing.

He nosed the thin material of her top to the side and took her nipple in his mouth, making Hermione gasp and sag against the wall, only his hands on her wrists holding her up.

He took his mouth away, letting the cold air of the dungeon harden her wet nipple. She gasped and squirmed against him. He pressed against her, moving his mouth to her ear.

"And ten points from Gryffindor," he whispered, breathing into her ear. "For inappropriate clothing."

Hermione groaned as he took her earlobe in his mouth and bit down gently. He released her hands and took a step back.

"You and Potter will in my classroom, scrubbing cauldrons every night for the next two weeks," he informed her, his voice normal as he walked back into the classroom, trying to pretend the erection he had developed didn't exist. He shut the door after him, giving Hermione time to collect herself before coming back in.

Hermione sagged against the wall and fought to catch her breath. She walked into his class with her head down, carefully avoiding Severus' eyes. He didn't say a word to her, and Harry didn't dare do more than briefly give her a consoling look.

She settled down in her seat and started chopping ingredients again, biting her lip as she tried to calm herself down. She gave a silent groan and put all her frustration into perfecting her potion.

_Bastard,_ she thought, glowering, a shiver running through her body as she tried not to remember how it felt to have his mouth on her skin. _Utter bastard._


	23. Chapter 23

"He was so out of order," Harry said to Ron as they walked to the Great Hall for lunch. "He just went mad on us, especially Hermione."

Ron just nodded and Hermione sighed. Ron was probably now thinking that Harry had taken her hard over the desk during their Potions class that morning, instead of the innocent gesture of comfort it had actually been. It wasn't hard to see that his mind was already forming suspicions and she wished Harry would change the subject.

Hermione slipped her hand through each of their arms, just holding Ron's more tightly when he tried to pull away.

"He's always miserable on a Monday," Hermione pointed out. "Let's forget about it. I wonder what's for lunch?"

"And now we've got two weeks of scrubbing bloody cauldrons!" Harry said, ignoring her, his eyes wide with horror. "I wouldn't be surprised if he makes us do it with our bloody toothbrushes or something."

"Yes, Mr Snape, sir!" Ron said, saluting Harry with his free arm. "No, Mr Snape, sir!"

"You've been letting Ron watch Muggle films again, haven't you?" Hermione asked Harry, with a raised eyebrow.

Thanks to Harry's 'education' over the summer, Ron had been quoting lines from films almost constantly, driving Hermione insane. If she heard, 'I'll be back' done in an Austrian accent one more time, she was going to find a way to blow up the company that produced the Terminator films, and make it look like an accident. A very painful and bloody accident.

Harry gave her a sheepish grin, squeezed her arm apologetically and mouthed, 'Sorry.'

"What did he say to you out there, anyway?" Harry asked out loud. "You were gone ages. I tried to hear what was going on, but I think he had some sort of spell on the door."

"Just the usual," Hermione said, trying not to blush. They entered the dining hall and her eyes immediately wandered to the head table to seek out the Professor Harry wouldn't shut up about.

There he was, methodically eating his dinner, occasionally pausing to answer a question or glower at a particularly noisy group of students.

"It has to have been more than the usual," Harry continued. "You took his wand! Snape must have been furious!"

"Oh that's fantastic," Ginny said, sitting down with them. "You took Snape's wand?"

"Ginny's got a new boyfriend. Did she tell you, Hermione?" Ron said, thankfully changing the subject and pulling a face at his sister. She aimed a kick at him under the table.

Hermione eyed Harry questioningly. He gave a tiny shake of his head. No, it wasn't him. So Ginny had finally fallen for someone else then.

"So who is it then, Gin?" Hermione asked, spearing a new potato on the end of her fork. She was still feeling queasy, but if she ate a little her appetite usually came back quite quickly.

"She won't tell us," Ron said, reaching over his sister for the gravy. "I think she's got a thing going with Snape and is just too ashamed to admit it."

Ginny pulled a face at Ron, then turned back to Hermione, who was fighting a blush yet again. Hermione wondered how Ron would react if she told him that he was closer than he thought with that statement, if he'd just directed it at the person sitting opposite his sister instead.

"I'm so glad you're back," Ginny said, smiling at Hermione. "I can finally have a conversation that doesn't involve either Quidditch or one of those two prying into my love life."

"Is she saying we're boring?" Harry asked Ron, a fake wounded look on his face.

"Nah," he said, grinning. "We're thrilling to be around, we are."

"A delight," Ginny said sarcastically.

Hermione smiled, glad to have everyone around her again. Then her smile faded as Harry looked at her with a meaningful look.

"I need some help with my Transfigurations homework later," he said. "If I could come up to your rooms?"

"Can't you just do it in the common room?" Ron asked, suspiciously.

"Too noisy," Harry said quickly. "I need to be able to concentrate."

Ron glowered at his dinner.

"Fine," he muttered, pushing his chair back and getting up. "I'm going for a walk. See you lot later."

"Harry," Hermione admonished as soon as he'd gone. "Don't you realise how that sounds?"

"How what sounds? Oh," he said, finally realising. Then he shrugged.

"You're not together anymore," he pointed out. "I don't see why it would matter so much."

Ginny and Hermione shared a look that plainly said, '_Boys! Complete idiots, the lot of them."_

Severus stormed around his classroom, making various members of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff jump every time he passed them.

_Why do I even care?_ he asked himself, annoyed. _So she's with Potter. First Weasley, then Potter and in-between she had me. Briefly. It wasn't even an affair, more a mistake that dragged on a bit and had a messy ending._

So why did it irritate him so much to see her being all touchy-feely with Potter?

_She's having my baby,_ he reminded himself. And who'd want Potter to be around their child, even before it was born and able to be corrupted by his irritating presence?

He was being ridiculous, he knew. This was the way he wanted it – he didn't need a young girl besotted with him, getting in the way.

_And Hermione certainly isn't bloody besotted with me, is she?_ Severus snarled to himself, bitterly.

"Twenty points from Ravenclaw!" he snarled out loud, as one of the boys dared to yawn. The boy immediately clapped his hand over his mouth and bowed his head, getting back to work.

"Sorry sir," he muttered, having finally subdued the yawn. "I'm just a little tired."

"Do I look like I care, Mr Pierce?" Severus asked, in a bored tone as he carried on stalking around the class. "Get back to work."

He was just about to take sixty points from Hufflepuff for one of the girls daring to have her wand sitting on the desk in plain view, when he'd specifically told everyone to put their wands away, when suddenly the pain hit him.

He clutched his arm and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to keep from screaming out loud. An urgent summons in the middle of the day, when Voldemort knew he wouldn't be able to get away – he knew he wouldn't get back in one piece from this one. Not unless he had some information he could buy some more time with. It was decision time and he had minutes to do it.

He and Albus had discussed Severus' options in detail and come up with plans for every eventuality. Severus knew that Albus thought he shouldn't go; that even with the information Albus had given him to feed Voldemort, he would die.

Severus thought it would be highly likely too, actually. Voldemort was a lot like a spoilt child when things weren't going his way – he'd break him first and ask questions later. He was probably furious that he'd survived his last beating.

Except what would be the point of him being at Hogwarts, if not to pass information to Albus? What would the point be of him 'being' at all? He had a price to pay for the things he'd done, and if he'd finished paying all he could pay, what would he do?

"Class dismissed," Severus ordered, through gritted teeth. "Get out, now."

Severus was too preoccupied with his thoughts and the pain in his arm to get any satisfaction out of how quickly the students ran out of his classroom. He didn't even notice that two or three of his students hadn't even bothered to collect their possessions – they just ran.

"Evanesco," Severus snapped, waving his wand in the general directions of the cauldrons the students had been using during their lesson. The potions that every student in the class had been too nervous to mix correctly vanished instantly.

_Right. Decision. Decision._ He dropped into his chair and rested his head in his hands, trying to think through the burning pain in his arm.

After lunch, Hermione had Transfigurations with Professor McGonagall. They were learning how to temporarily transfigure parts of their bodies. Ron currently had a very large, pointed nose and Professor McGonagall, much to everyone else's amusement, was refusing to turn it back for him, insisting that he sort it out himself.

"If I try again, I'll end up looking like that Pinocchio bloke," Ron said, sitting down and putting his head in his hands. The tip of his nose rested on the table and Hermione fought the urge to laugh. Every time he'd tried to shrink it, it had just got longer. He was starting to look like he could be a novelty parrot perch in his spare time.

"Harry, help me," Ron begged, sounding nasal. "Fix me!"

"I'll just end up growing you ears to match, or something," Harry said, going red in his effort not to burst into fits of laughter at his friend. "Ask Hermione. You know she's far better at Transfigurations than anyone else."

Hermione folded her arms and raised her eyebrow, waiting for Ron to ask for her help. He had barely spoken a word to her all through lunch and she wasn't going to let him get off lightly. She was going to make him _beg_. And she was going to enjoy it.

"Or do you just want to stay like that?" Harry asked, winking at Hermione. "You'd make a handsome coat rack."

"Not funny, Harry!" Ron said, using his hand to support his nose as he lifted his head to glower at Harry. "I look ridiculous!"

Hermione burst into giggles and buried her head in her arms.

"Oh Ron, only you could possibly try to be all serious and indignant, looking so ridiculous with that bloody huge nose." Hermione buried her head back in her arms to laugh again, aware that she wasn't winning any points by laughing at Ron, but completely unable to stop herself.

"Come on Herm," Harry said, pulling her to her feet. "Change him back before Malfoy looks up from his little group of Minions and notices Ron's… appendage."

As Harry burst into fits of laughter and fell back into his seat, Hermione picked up her wand and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself long enough to do the spell.

At that moment Albus' own owl flew into the classroom through an open window. It dropped a parchment over Hermione's head, then flew out of the window as quickly as it had come. The parchment landed squarely on Hermione's head, before bouncing off and hitting the floor.

_Miss Granger,_

_Go to the Dungeons immediately and do whatever you see fit when you arrive there. This would be a good time to show some of that bravery and stubbornness us Gryffindors are so famous for. _

_Show this note to Professor McGonagall before leaving._

_Albus._

Hermione's forehead wrinkled in confusion. Was Severus hurt? Was she meant to heal him? What was wrong? Hermione shoved the piece of parchment at Professor McGonagall then tore off, out of the classroom and down the corridor.

_Bloody Headmaster. Always so bloody cryptic. Would it kill him to say, 'Hermione, Severus is bleeding profusely from a deep head wound. Take bandages and a book on Healing and I'll meet you there in ten minutes."_

It took less than a minute for her to get to the dungeons. Poppy would have been furious with her for exerting herself like that, but Hermione didn't care. She was worried and scared and wasn't even sure why.

She leaned against the closed door, gasping for breath. There was no noise coming from inside the room, which Hermione thought was odd in itself – she was sure Severus was meant to be taking a class. Third years, if she remembered correctly.

Still panting, she pushed the door open slowly. She yelped in surprise as she stepped into the room and walked straight into Severus. They collided, forcing Severus to put his arms around Hermione to stop her from falling. He recognized her immediately, which was probably the reason he pulled her close for a second, before pushing her away.

"Professor Snape? Where's your class?"

"Get out of my way, Miss Granger," Severus snapped, the pain in his arm making him feel even more waspish than usual. He also knew he couldn't stay talking to her – little chance as there was that he would get out of there alive, there would be no chance at all if he waited much longer.

"Where are you going?" Hermione blocked his way, knowing that he could just push past her if he wanted to, but relying on the fact that he wouldn't be too rough with her, knowing what condition she was in.

_And that it's all **his** bloody fault,_ she snarled to herself. He was putting her in a bad mood, and she'd only been there a few seconds.

"That is none of your concern," Severus snapped, folding his arms. "I have left you a letter on my desk. Read it when I have left."

It was only because Severus knew that there was little or no chance of him coming back that he had left her a letter at all. It was nothing sentimental; just a letter telling her how he'd changed his will and testament and made her and their child the sole beneficiaries of his estate. She would be a rich woman, and would be able to live well and carry on her education with ease. It was the least, and the only thing he could do for her.

"Accio letter," Hermione said, putting her hand out.

Ah, he'd forgotten about that little trick of hers. The four letters he had written in haste as he tried to ignore the burning pain in his arm came flying through the air and landed in the palm of her hand. She quickly discarded the other three letters that weren't meant for her, and broke the seal on her own.

"I do not have time for this, Miss Granger," Severus said, raising his eyes heavenwards. "Get out of my way, this instant."

_Bloody stubborn girl._

She looked up from the short letter he had written her. It had only been a couple of lines really, but he had wanted her to know that she would be secure if he didn't come back. He had intended Albus to find them and send them to the appropriate addresses when he didn't return, rather than have her read it now, her deep brown eyes widening in horror as her eyes skimmed over the brief and formal letter.

"You really don't think you'll come back this time, do you?" Hermione asked, stating the obvious, but needing to verify. Her face paled as she took in his Death Eater robes and knew that he had been summoned again, probably for the last time. Voldemort wanted to finish what he had started at his last summons and Severus was going to let him do it.

"No, I don't." Severus' voice was tight. He hadn't wanted to see her before he left and had even decided to avoid telling Albus he was going, in case the old Wizard tried to interfere and send Hermione to stop him leaving. Albus had already made umpteen obvious comments about how a baby needs its father, and he knew he couldn't cope with the same words coming from Hermione. Although he wasn't sure why he was so sure she'd try to stop him leaving.

"You're going, and this is all you're going to leave me with?" she asked, gesturing at the letter in disgust.

"If you read it again, Miss Granger," Severus said, "You'll see that I have left you with everything I have. What more is there?"

"You are not going." She folded her arms over her chest in a gesture of stubbornness. She had meant her voice to be firm and commanding, except it had come out as a plea instead.

"I have to." He moved a step closer to the door and folded his arms too, waiting for her to step out of his way. She looked close to tears and he prayed she wouldn't cry. He didn't want to be the cause of more of her tears and he didn't have time to try to comfort her.

"You don't have to. Albus can't just send you to your death."

Severus closed his eyes, part in frustration, part because he was hit with the sudden desperate urge to curl up and cry. He wanted to bury his head in his hands and sob. Part of him was terrified, and the other part of him was relieved. It would be over soon. He wouldn't have to kill, or see people screaming for him to help them, unable to do anything to save them without giving himself away. Tonight he could tell Voldemort what he was and die knowing that for the last twenty years, he had done the right thing. He hadmade a difference.

He knew then that he wasn't even going to try to save his own life tonight – he was going to give it, freely, and try to take Voldemort and as many Death Eaters as he could with him. It was a long shot, but it would be his final deed of redemption. If he could rid the world of that evil, he would die a happy man.

"The Headmaster hasn't sent me," Severus said, opening his eyes again, but refusing to look directly at the emotional girl in front of him. "I'm doing this because I have to."

"What use will you be to the world, dead?" Hermione's voice broke on the last word and she angrily swiped the tears out of her eyes. She wasn't going to break down – she had to hold it together long enough to fix this. She had to stop him going.

"What use am I if I can no longer be of any help to the Order?" Severus asked, getting ready to push past her. He'd waited too long, and he had still to get to the edge of Hogwart's grounds before he could Apparate.

"You really think that all you're good for is spying; being a double agent?" Hermione, looked at Severus, trying to take as much of him in as possible. If this was the last time she would ever see him, she wanted to remember exactly how he looked. She wanted to remember his soft lips that felt so hot on her skin, his dark eyes that smouldered and flashed when he touched her and his hands that were so precise and gentle.

She wanted to touch him and kiss him. She wanted to make love to him, to cling to him and be close to him. Except she couldn't – all she could do was stand there, a weak and ineffectual barrier, and try to talk him out of leaving.

"What else am I good for, Miss Granger?" Severus asked, with a sardonic smile. "Teaching? Oh, I'm sure all my students will be heartbroken when I fail to return."

"You're a good teacher," Hermione said, feeling completely helpless, knowing that any second he was just going to push past her and leave. "Your methods may be terrifying, but everyone leaves here understanding everything you've taught them, and remembering it."

_Except for the ones who are too terrified to_, Hermione amended in her head.

Severus raised a skeptical eyebrow and smiled a sardonic smile. "Thank you. Now, if you would just get out of my way…"

"You can't leave me to do this by myself," Hermione said in a choked voice. "You can't."

"I have done everything I can for you," Severus said, gritting his teeth as the pain suddenly intensified. The Dark Lord was getting impatient. "You will be free of money troubles for the rest of your life and when you're out in the world, you will come to understand that that alone solves most of life's problems."

Hermione shook her head, taking a step forward and pushing back the left sleeve of his cloak. She unbuttoned the sleeve of the black shirt he wore underneath and pushed the sleeve back too.

"Miss Granger, what are you doing?" Severus asked, watching as she ran her fingers over his arm, skirting around the mark on his forearm. It seemed to throb more when she came close to touching it, he noticed. He'd never realized before, because no one had ever even seen his mark uncovered, let alone touched it.

"I just wanted to see it; to see what killed you," Hermione whispered, still intent on tracing her fingers around his Dark Mark.

"This is pointless, Miss Granger. I need to go," Severus insisted. He noticed that his voice was less commanding now and more pleading, like hers had been earlier. It was strange, the effect Hermione Granger had on him.

She looked up, finally catching and holding his eyes with hers.

"You think all you have to give is money and information," she said, her fingers still moving over the skin of his arm. "You don't think there's anything for the man in you to give."

"The man in me died a long time ago, Miss Granger," Severus said, holding her gaze.

_And the sooner she realises that, the better,_ he thought, grimly.

"No." Hermione lifted her hand to his face and gently traced her fingers down his cheek. "No, it didn't."

Severus swallowed hard.

_God, just let me leave._

"What good do you think you will do, going there tonight and getting killed?" she asked, softly. "Do you think you can kill Voldemort on your own? Are you telling me no one has ever tried that before? And failed miserably and painfully?"

"I have to try." His eyes were closed now, and Hermione slowly ran her fingers gently over his eyelids, cheeks and mouth, before cupping his cheek in her hand.

"Yes, you do. But not try to kill Voldemort, because you and I both know that it's going to take more than one lone ex-Death Eater with a death-wish."

"I am still a Death Eater, Hermione," Severus pointed out, his eyes still closed as he tried to gather the will to walk through the door, away from both Hogwarts and Hermione. "Or have you forgotten that I'm not the nice, cuddly person you seem to think I am?"

"How long are you going to make yourself pay, Severus?" Hermione asked, running her fingers through his hair. She moved closer, so close all she would have to do was lean a little and she'd be pressed against him, in his arms if he'd just let himself hold her.

"How long are you going to punish yourself? Don't you think Voldemort has already punished you enough, even before you decided to become a spy?"

Hermione bit her lip as she saw Severus swallow hard again. She could still feel the panic and helplessness from that night he'd poured his memories into her. She could still hear the screams of the people she assumed were his mother and sister. She sometimes lay awake at night, wondering how he managed to go on after Voldemort had done that to his family.

She wondered how Severus had managed to go on after that. He'd lost his mother and sister, and the man he had decided to follow had betrayed him in the worst way possible. How could anyone want to live after that?

"You only stayed alive so you could make things better, didn't you? Stem the guilt a little; make their deaths worth something?"

Severus opened his eyes and looked at her, knowing who she was talking about without needing to ask.

"Except you've done that, Severus," she said, catching his hands as he moved to push her out of his way. "You've done all you can, and now you've got to start living for yourself, instead of for revenge and redemption."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Severus snapped, trying to shake her hands off his own, which she was clinging to for dear life. "And what do you want me to live for? You?"

His eyebrow lifted mockingly and she let go of his hand and took a step backwards.

_Yes, I thought that might work,_ he thought, but with a lot less triumph than he would have liked. The hurt look on her face made him feel guilty and he hated feeling guilty. It was almost a relief when she tipped her head down and looked at her feet so he couldn't see her accusing eyes.

He sighed impatiently.

"Miss Granger, my arm feels like the Dark Lord is at this very moment autographing it with a large, sharp knife. I am tired, in pain and more than a little apprehensive. I am also in a little bit of a rush, as the longer I stand here, the more likely it is that Voldemort will crush me before I even get a chance to reach for my wand."

Hermione looked up at him through the tears, which were almost pouring down her face. She took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, making him take a sudden step backwards in shock.

She moved with him, nudging her head so that it was nestled under his chin and sliding her arms under the voluminous Death Eater robes. She clung to him, getting as close as she possibly could to him without undressing both Severus and herself completely.

"Miss Granger, what are you doing?" he asked, in a choked voice, his arms held stiffly by his sides in a desperate attempt to stop himself holding her. If she thought that seducing him was going to stop him going, then she really didn't understand the way a Slytherin's mind worked.

"Saying goodbye," she whispered, her voice muffled as her face was almost buried in his neck.

"Saying goodbye…?" Severus' sounded as unsure as he felt. This girl was clinging to him, like she never wanted to let him go and it was making the guilt he was already feeling mix with something else…

God, he wanted to hold her. Just for a second. Just to say goodbye…

He finally wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to his chest. He felt a little answering sob as he found one of his hands burying itself in the hair at the nape of her neck.

She clung harder, sobbing properly now, then as suddenly as she had moved to hold him, she stepped back, forcing Severus to relax his arms and let her go.

She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, her breath coming in gasps as she cried.

"I'll tell the baby about you. About all you've done for the Wizarding world… and us." Her voice caught and she closed her eyes for a second to calm herself.

"I'll tell him or her how brave you were," she whispered, standing on tiptoes to reach up and brush her lips against his.

_Brave. Running away isn't brave._

Severus glowered at his thoughts, his tongue coming out and tasting where she had just so briefly touched her lips against his own.

He leant down and kissed Hermione with a kiss just as brief as her own had been, before standing still for as long as he dared, to look at her.

She stared back into his eyes, her crying finished for now, but her breathing still uneven. Then her eyes followed him as he swept out of the door behind her and strode away from her; away from Hogwarts.

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Review, people! Review, review, review! Call it a late Christmas present… x


	24. Chapter 24

Harry and Albus found Hermione sobbing on the dungeon floor about ten minutes later. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and was rocking back and forth. Tears had made a wet, dark patch on the jeans she was wearing under her cloak and her entire body was shaking.

Harry stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Hermione with his mouth open. He'd never seen her this hysterical before, ever. And she'd faced Voldemort with him less than a year ago.

Albus looked at Hermione for a second, before nodding his head in understanding. He pushed Harry through the door towards Hermione, making the boy stumble over his own feet. Then Albus disappeared quickly in the other direction.

Harry got to his knees beside Hermione and awkwardly put his arms around her.

"What happened, Hermione?" he asked, gently.

Hermione shook her head, not lifting it to look at Harry.

"The floor's cold," he pointed out, stroking her tear soaked hair back from her face. "And being this upset is probably not good for the baby."

Hermione sobbed harder and Harry cringed, feeling helpless.

"Is that what this is about? The baby?" he asked. "Is it okay?"

"How do you know that I didn't just get my period, and that's why I don't need the potion?" Hermione asked, lifting her blotchy, tear-stained face to look at Harry.

"My amazing Harry Potter intuition," Harry said, reaching to take her hand to help her to her feet. "Or it could have been that pregnancy book sticking out from under your covers the last time I visited you. But I think it was far more down to the intuition."

Hermione managed a watery smile and let Harry pull her to her feet. She swayed a little and let Harry put his arm around her to support her.

"I think I need to lie down," Hermione said, sniffing.

"A tissue would also be really, really helpful," Harry observed, wrinkling his nose at the state of her face.

"Can always count on you to be really sympathetic," she muttered, reaching into her pocket and finding a half mangled tissue there.

"Or maybe a box of tissues…" Harry suggested, leading her out of the Potions classroom.

Suddenly he stopped, making Hermione stumble and cling to him more tightly.

"What?" she asked, trying to dry her tears while not thinking about how long the tissue had been in that pocket, or what she had used it for last.

"Where's Snape? Isn't there meant to be a class in there right now?" Harry's face was screwed up in confusion, then it seemed to clear.

Hermione swallowed, trying to hold back the fresh batch of tears that were already threatening.

"He… had to leave," Hermione sniffed, letting go of Harry and starting to on her own. "Are you coming?"

"Hermione," Harry said slowly, his brow still furrowed. "Did you… you and…"

Hermione spun round, her complete misery suddenly turning into temper.

"What, Harry? Did I what?" she snapped, glaring at her perplexed friend, who had started to blush in embarrassment at his own thoughts.

"Did you and Snape have some sort of row?" he asked, looking at Hermione warily, as if she were about to throw things at him for daring to ask a question.

"In a way," Hermione said, sighing. "Can we just get back to the tower? I'm exhausted and want a lie down for a while before tea."

"Where has Snape gone, Hermione?" Harry asked, his voice suddenly hard. He was fed up of Hermione not trusting him and he hated not knowing things. Not knowing things usually lead to incredibly stupid misunderstandings, which at best led to time being wasted, and at worst led to people ending up dead. Admittedly all that would probably come of Hermione keeping things from him in this instance would be that Hermione would go crazy with no one to talk to, but that was bad enough in itself.

"He's been summoned, Harry," Hermione said, turning away from Harry and starting to walk back to Gryffindor tower on her own.

_Sod Harry. If he wants to stand in the bloody freezing dungeons all day, being all suspicious, _she thought, her mind's voice huffy, _then he can bloody well do it on his own._

"So why the crying?" he asked, running to catch up with her and slowing to a walk. "Even if you've somehow developed some newfound affection for our greasy potions master, he gets Summoned all the time, and he comes back every time."

"Last time he was Summoned, he nearly died," Hermione whispered, moving her head close to Harry's as they hit the hallway as the bell rang for the next class. She supposed Harry was missing his next class, what with coming to find her, but she was also quite sure that Albus would have thought to cover for them.

"He's a grown man, Hermione," Harry muttered just as quietly as Colin Creevy passed Harry and gave him a cheerful grin. "He knows the dangers."

"Yes, but this time he left, completely sure he would die," Hermione said, gritting her teeth in an effort not to cry again. "He left goodbye letters."

_Well, sort of,_ she amended in her head with a stab of annoyance mixed with misery. The letter he had left had hardly been personal, had it? More like '_here you go, have my money. Bye._'

"He left one… for you?" Harry asked, before mumbling the password at the Fat Lady and giving Hermione his hand to help her over the small step.

"Look, Harry, I just want to lie down," Hermione said, stopping him at the bottom of the stairs that lead to her room. "Why does any of this matter to you?"

"You're my friend," he said simply.

Hermione stared at Harry for a long moment, then took his hand and led him up the stairs into her room. Once the door was shut, she threw herself down on her bed and turned onto her side. Harry climbed onto the bed next to her and leant against the pillows and folded his arms. Then he waited.

Hermione took a deep breath, then closed her mouth again. Where on earth was she supposed to start? After a moment, Harry turned to look at Hermione, an understanding look on his face.

"You don't have to tell me, Hermione," Harry said, gently. "I just wanted you to realise that you did have someone there who you could trust."

"I know that Harry," Hermione said, lifting her head to look at him. "I just don't know where to start."

"When did you get pregnant?" Harry asked. "I mean, whenever you saw Ron, either me, or one of his family were around. I don't know how you managed it. And Ron said that you hadn't slept together yet, the lying git."

"Harry! You're not meant to talk about things like that!" Hermione reprimanded, her voice too tired to sound really cross. "If Ron was talking to me, I'd kill him for that."

Harry gave Hermione a sheepish look.

"I got pregnant around the time Crookshanks was killed," Hermione said, still feeling a stab of pain when she thought about that.

"That's impossible though," Harry said, stubbornly. "Ron was complaining at the time that he didn't even get to kiss you, cos you were always with Ginny."

"Harry," Hermione said quietly, lifting herself up on her elbow to look Him in the eyes. "The baby isn't Ron's."

Harry looked at Hermione for a few seconds, his mouth gaping open. Hermione sank back down on the bed and rested her head on her pillow, waiting for the explosion she knew would come.

_And it'll be an even bigger explosion when I tell him who the father of my baby really is…_Hermione thought, with trepidation.

"You… cheated on Ron?" Harry asked, sounding amazed. "Why… why would you do that?"

Hermione cringed.

"It just sort of… happened," she explained. "I was comforting him and then it turned into something else. It wasn't planned."

"Comforting who?" Harry asked, his voice faint.

"Harry, you must promise to stay here and hear me out," Hermione said, firmly. "I don't want you storming off, or going and shouting at people."

"Oh God," Harry said, realization dawning.

"Cos he's not here to shout at any more," Hermione finished, quietly.

"Snape?" Harry asked, his voice incredulous. "Greasy, nasty, miserable Severus Snape?"

Hermione cringed and didn't speak.

"Why? How?" Harry closed his eyes and felt suddenly dizzy with confusion. "You had sex with Snape!"

"You know he saved me, from… the Death Eaters?" Hermione said, wondering if she should tell him about Draco too. "Well he was… I mean."

She sighed.

"Look Harry, I love him," she said firmly, sitting up. "And he's going to die, so stop being so nasty about him. He's giving his life for the rest of us and he has been doing for years. And no one is bloody grateful. Not one person, other than Dumbledore."

"So it was gratitude?" he asked, then mumbled under his breath, "I hope Dumbledore is never that bloody grateful…"

"No Harry," Hermione said, her voice getting angry. "I know you and a lot of other people see him as this needlessly nasty man, but don't any of you ever think of why he's like that?"

"Because he's a git," Harry muttered under his breath.

"No," she said, glowering at her friend. "I thought you said you were going to be my friend and listen?"

Harry had the grace to look slightly sheepish and gestured for Hermione to continue.

"He's being watched, all the time," Hermione said. "People like Draco and other Death Eaters sons report back on him, watching for any sign that he might not be completely on their side. Professor Snape has to put on an act constantly, because if his cover slips even slightly, then he's screwed, Harry. He's dead."

"Except," Hermione said, her voice faltering. "He is dead now. I'm not sure what happened, but they either found him out, or decided he wasn't useful enough, and they tried to kill him. And now he's gone back so they can finish the job."

"Doesn't he know about… you know?"

"The baby, Harry. Just because it's Professor Snape's, doesn't mean you can't use the word any more," Hermione sighed. "Yes, he knows."

"How could he leave like that, when…?"

"I know," Hermione interrupted, her voice small. "I don't know how he could leave either."

Hermione recalled how she'd almost begged him to stay and felt tears welling up in her eyes again. How could he care about her and their baby so little? How could he not want to see his child, even if he didn't want to be with her?

She'd _begged_ and he hadn't cared…

"God, Hermione. What are you going to do?" Harry asked, shuffling closer and putting his arm around her as she sniffed, trying not to get hysterical again.

"I don't know, Harry," she said, sniffing more and letting him hold her as she cried. "I feel so alone."

"It's alright, Hermione," Harry whispered, holding her close while his brain tried to cover all the possible options Hermione had. "I'll always be here for you."

_Except he wouldn't be, if Voldemort had his way_, Harry realized. Voldemort was going to take everyone away who could be this child's family, just like he had taken all of Harry's family away, albeit indirectly with Sirius.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you," Harry said, still holding Hermione. "I'll make sure both you and the baby will be loved and looked after. You're not alone Hermione."

Neither person noticed Severus standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the couple on the bed. He stood in the doorway for a moment, then waved his hand, making the wall in Hermione's sitting room shimmer and disappear, so he could step through it, back into his quarters.

Severus didn't jump when he felt a hand upon his shoulder, he just turned around with a resigned sigh.

"Yes, Lucius?" Severus said, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "What do you want?"

"You, Severus," Lucius said, a grim look on his face.

Severus nodded and let Lucius take his arm and lead him away from the dungeons and out onto the grounds. He took one last look at Gryffindor tower and then tried to block out the misery that threatened to overcome him.

"Ready Severus?" Lucius said, as they reached the edge of the grounds.

Severus nodded and let Lucius Apparate him away from Hogwarts. He shouldn't have come back anyway. Foolish hope had led him to Hermione's bedroom and now he didn't have that, he didn't really care what happened now.

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Don't kill me… keep reading.

Tainted Elf: Would be honoured to, but definitely can't if you smother me in my sleep… ;o)

Lover Not a Fighter: I refuse to read things unless they have at least moderately happy endings. Don't worry.

Faerluthio: Thank you :o) You're lovely :o)

And to everyone else, thank you :o) I think I have a review addiction. Must… have… more… drool

refreshes the review page repeatedly

Yes… going now. x


	25. Chapter 25

Hermione couldn't sleep. She was exhausted and even her bones were aching from tiredness, but she couldn't sleep.

She and Harry had talked until it had become so late that the House Elves had brought their tea to Hermione's room, presumably ordered to by Albus. Harry had finally seemed to be adjusting to the fact that Hermione had slept with Severus, on the surface at least. But neither of them were any closer to finding a solution to Hermione's future. Hermione steadfastly refused to use any of the money Severus left for her, which Harry thought was ridiculous. And without it, Hermione couldn't support herself and the baby.

She had told Harry about being able to apprentice McGonagall, but had pointed out that that wouldn't be for a long while yet, and she still had to survive until then. Besides, she'd also have to pay for a full time nanny when she finally did work. She could hardly bring her baby to class. "_Now class, let's see what you can transfigure my baby into this week."_ No, it really wouldn't work.

Harry had asked about the money her parents had left her and Hermione had thought fast and told Harry there wasn't anything, hating lying to him but not wanting to explain all that as well. Besides, she had promised Albus she wouldn't tell anyone about her parents still being alive, even Harry and Ron. Hermione knew her parents would have helped if they could, but as they couldn't work at the moment, they needed every penny for themselves.

She couldn't get benefits in the Muggle world, because as Severus had pointed out, that was like going up to Voldemort and saying, "Here I am! Come and murder me in my sleep in a hideous and painful way."

Harry had even gone and found an up-to-date book on benefits in the Wizarding world, but they had very quickly found that Wizarding law was still very much in the Middle Ages. Witches weren't entitled to anything unless they were married. And then it was the husband who was paid the money, not the wife.

"I could work and support us both," Harry had suggested. "I could send you the money to live on."

Except Hermione hated that idea even more than she hated the idea of taking Severus' money. Besides, Harry wanted to train as an Auror and wouldn't be making any money then either. She wasn't going to live on the money Harry's parents had left him.

_Severus._ Through all this, Hermione had tried not to think about Severus. He was probably dead already. Or being tortured to death right now. She wondered if he'd even managed to set foot in the circle before he had been hit with some horrible curse.

She felt a surge of anger as she thought of how he could have saved himself and stayed with her and their baby. He'd felt he had nothing to live for, even thought Hermione was standing there trying desperately to make him realise that, if nothing else, he had her and their child to live for.

_Except it hadn't been enough._

She turned over in her bed again, fighting down the queasy feeling in her stomach. She was hungry, which meant she felt sick again. It would have been okay, but with Severus and her uncertain future on her mind so much, she hadn't really felt up to eating, which just made everything worse.

"Accio Ginger Biscuits," she said, sticking her hand out from under her thick, warm covers to catch the flying packet of biscuits.

She nibbled on the end of one, wondering if Harry was awake to talk to. After the initial shock, he had been wonderful; really supportive and caring. Part of Hermione wished it had been Harry she had fallen for, instead of the surly Potions Master who seemed too damaged to ever really let himself love anyone.

Except Harry was… Harry. She just couldn't imagine going there. Ever. He was sweet and kind and even kind of handsome. But he was too… Harry-ish.

And Severus was… God, how could she describe why she had fallen for him? Harry had asked her repeatedly and she'd never been able to come up with an answer. He was so strong, yet at the same time he was so broken; he was brutal, yet gentle all at the same time; he didn't need anybody, yet underneath it all he desperately needed someone to love him and be there for him.

She closed her eyes and wished that her pregnancy would allow her to take some of the Dreamless Sleep draught she kept in the bathroom cabinet for dire emergencies. Severus kept haunting her thoughts day and night and she needed something to switch off her mind, if only for a few hours.

_And he'll never know that I really did love him_, Hermione thought, turning over yet again. _If he'd have stayed, I could have convinced him_. _It might have taken thirty or forty years, but hey, if we were both castle-bound until Voldemort finally realized he wasn't actually immortal, it would have given me something to do._

She fell asleep with tears drying on her face, as she tried to stop the aching in her chest, which told her she'd never see Severus ever again.

The next morning, Harry was waiting at her door when she opened it, clutching her bag in one hand and a cream cracker in the other. He took her bag and walked down to breakfast with her without speaking, seeming deep in thought. The silence gave Hermione time to collect herself on the way to the Great Hall, and she was very grateful for Harry's presence. No one knew about either Severus' disappearance yet, or her baby, but somehow she felt so exposed.

Breakfast was an unusually silent affair. Harry was being quiet, and Ron was too busy glaring daggers at Harry to even really enjoy the bacon and sausages he was shoveling down. Just watching all that food being eaten so quickly made Hermione queasy.

"You okay?" Ginny asked, Hermione as they were about to leave for their respective classes. "You look really pale."

"Fine Gin, really," Hermione answered. "You were really quiet at breakfast. Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah," Ginny said, leaning in close to Hermione as they both got to their feet. "Just that Harry's being really weird with me."

"Weird?" Hermione asked, puzzled. He had been quiet, but sometimes he got like that. Usually just before he informed them all that his scar had been hurting him, actually. Hermione felt vaguely worried and eyed his scar suspiciously.

"Yeah," Ginny said again. "We usually meet on a morning to… well, you know, before breakfast."

"You know…?" Hermione asked; then realization dawned.

Well done Harry, she thought. You really kept that one a secret. 

"Except this morning he arrived at the Room of Requirement as usual, and said that he couldn't meet me anymore."

_God, this was all her fault, _Hermione realized with a mental groan. This was all she needed.

"No explanation, no nothing," Ginny continued. "And now he seems too preoccupied to even look at me."

"Well it's the end of his seventh year," Hermione pointed out. "He's pretty sure Voldemort will start the war this summer and that must be pretty hard to take, knowing the whole world is going to be counting on you to save them, or else die trying."

"I know that," Ginny said, stopping in the hallway, as both she and Hermione had lessons at different sides of the castle. "But we've always talked about that. And he's always said that I'm a welcome distraction."

"Come up to my room later," Hermione said, wondering where Harry had got to with her bag, which he was still insisting on carrying. "We can watch some girly films, eat some ice-cream and veg out."

She spotted Harry coming out of the dining room, both their bags slung over his shoulder.

_Honestly, could he be any more obvious?_ Hermione thought in despair. _Either people are going to figure out that I'm pregnant, or they're going to think I'm going out with Harry. Either way, it wouldn't be good._

xxx

Hermione was right – after three days of Harry carrying her bag everywhere for her, including to classes he himself didn't have, which made him late for his own classes, people started to talk. Luckily they picked the least harmful rumour, but it still didn't stop Ron from glowering at them and refusing to practice Quidditch with Harry.

Instead, Ron had started spending more and more time with Neville, which Neville was a little baffled by, and Hannah Abbott was a little put out by. She and Neville had been together for nearly a year and now they seemed to constantly have an angry red-head in their company whenever they wanted to make out. As Hannah had confessed to Hermione after a few days, it was a little off-putting having Ron storming around the room, while they tried to be romantic.

It had taken at least two days for Ginny to hear the rumour about Harry and Hermione and another two days for her to confront Hermione about it. Hermione had reacted to Ginny's questioning guiltily purely because she knew that Harry was spending time with her in favour of Ginny, so technically this was all Hermione's own fault.

She had assured Ginny repeatedly that there was nothing between Harry and herself and had even gone so far as to talk to Harry about it, assuring him that he didn't need to give people up to be there for her.

Harry had just pulled her into a hug and told her to shut up, his tone affectionate.

Draco Malfoy was the only one who hadn't commented on the rumoured relationship, which was making Harry hugely suspicious. Whenever the subject was brought up by any of the other Slytherins, Draco just glowered and started talking about something else. Hermione wondered when he was ever going to make some sort of a move. She was tired of being on edge. Actually, she was tired full stop. She couldn't sleep for thinking about Severus and the nausea was getting steadily worse.

Things finally came to a head two weeks after Severus had left Hogwarts. Hermione was in her second favourite class, Defence Against the Dark Arts. Remus Lupin was teaching again thanks to Albus' contacts, which seemed to be everywhere and have remarkable influence. Hermione had a definite soft spot for the kind and gentle Werewolf.

Defence Against the Dark Arts was the only NEWT level class that had every single class member in it, despite the fact that quite a few people were aware that Remus was a Werewolf and their parents objected strongly to them being in that class. People were there to learn how to protect themselves, which was relevant whatever side they planned to fight on.

Remus had waited until the end of the class to give each person their own special assignments, which had cheered Hermione up no end, before she heard what her assignment was to be about.

"But Professor Lupin," Hermione had objected, forgetting to put her hand up. "There are no books in the library on the Pogrebin – I checked at the beginning of the year when I realized we'd be covering them. How am I to get the information I need for my assignment?"

Remus was about to inform Hermione that he, himself had a very good book she was welcome to borrow, when Draco's hand shot up.

"I've got a book Granger could use," he said, his voice sounding nervous. "I won't need it for a couple of weeks."

His cheeks seemed to colour as his fellow Slytherins stared at him in shock. A couple of Gryffindors actually turned in their seats to stare at Draco, their mouths open.

"Erm… alright Malfoy," Lupin said, his voice holding an element of amusement, but mostly bemusement. "That's very generous of you."

"Bet when she opens it, the book has giant teeth and tries to eat her," Ron commented to Neville in an undertone.

Draco glowered at his desk and steadfastly ignored the looks his classmates were giving him. He kept his head down for the remainder of the class and when the bell rang to signal the end, he packed his bag deliberately slowly and gestured to his friends that he'd be alone in a minute. He really didn't need an audience to witness him being nice to Granger.

Hermione watched Draco packing his bag as slowly as he possibly could and she followed suit, telling Harry to go on without her, but being very glad when he told her he'd be waiting outside in the corridor. She was also relieved that Remus stayed and sat at his desk, pretending to grade assignments. She knew he was staying just to make sure she would be okay.

"I will meet you in the library at seven, if you want that book, Granger," Draco said, unsure of what to say, wincing at the mention of the library. Last time he'd been there with her, he'd cursed her while his father had killed her parents. He hadn't known what his father was going to do, but that stop the guilt stabbing through him. And thanks to Snape's little talk, he had been feeling guilty about it for weeks.

_Except I have to do this,_ Draco thought, grimly.

"Right. That's really… nice of you," Hermione said, having no idea how to respond to a _nice_ Draco Malfoy. She actually felt more at ease with the snide, nasty version.

"Thought it was about time we buried the hatchet and all that," Draco said, awkwardly.

_Yes, bury it deep in my back,_ Hermione's inner voice said, with a bizarre inappropriate inner giggle.

"You sure you're feeling okay, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, reaching to put a joking hand on his forehead to test his temperature.

Draco leapt back, knocking a chair over as he did so. Remus looked up, his wand already in his hand, but when he saw that Hermione was completely fine, standing staring at Draco with a baffled expression on her face, he pretended to go back to marking assignments.

"Can't stand to have a Mudblood touch you, Malfoy?" Hermione said, not able to keep the disgust out of her voice.

Draco shook his head and then eyed Remus warily. He hated having an audience for anything, especially one who was so ready to leap up and Hex him if Hermione so much as broke a nail slapping him.

"I don't…" he began. "People don't touch me very often."

He looked at his feet, not sure why he'd confessed that. He was supposed to _pretend_ to like her and talk to her, and definitely not confess ridiculous things like that.

"Forget it," Draco said, grabbing his bag. "I'll bring the book to class tomorrow."

"I'd like to read it tonight, if you still wouldn't mind meeting in the library?" Hermione asked, her voice gentle. She looked at Draco's closed expression and it suddenly hit her how like Severus Draco was. They were both forced into how they behaved by the people around them and both had no real idea who they really were. For the first time since all this had began, she started to feel a little more hopeful. Maybe she could really do this…

"I don't need your pity, Granger," Draco spat at her, his good intentions forgotten in the humiliation of having revealed something like that about himself, to a Mudblood, no less.

"Malfoy, whatever else I think about you, I certainly don't pity you." Hermione flashed Draco a derisive smile and went to pick up her bag. "See you at seven."

She strode out of the classroom, winking at Remus on her way out and smiling when he surreptitiously winked back. Harry caught hold of her arm as she came out of the classroom and immediately took her bag from her.

"Harry, you have to stop carrying my bloody bag," Hermione said, trying to take it back and glowering when Harry hoisted it onto his shoulder, ignoring her attempts to grab it from him.

"Accio bag!" Hermione said through gritted teeth. The bag pulled futilely on Harry's shoulder, but eventually gave up and Harry relaxed his grip again.

"I'm not an invalid, you know," she said, her hands on her hips.

"That's good to know," Harry said, cheerily. "Cos you're coming to Hogsmede with me tomorrow evening."

"I am?"

"You are," Harry confirmed. "You need cheering up."

"And do I have any say in this at all?" Hermione asked.

"Nope," Harry said with a smile as they found their seats in the Potions classroom and waited for Albus to start the class. He was good, very thorough and much, much kinder than Severus had been, but Severus had added passion to the lessons that Albus just couldn't didn't manage.

Hermione sighed and tried not to let herself fall into a depression again. She smiled a wavering smile at Albus and was twinkled at in return. Severus loved making Potions and Hermione knew that given the right students, who were diligent, eager to learn and as passionate as he was, he would excel in teaching. She thought briefly that he could have taught Potions at University standard, if he hadn't have gone and practically committed suicide. University students who chose something like Potions to take a degree in were usually the sort of people Severus would have loved to teach. They would _want_ to learn.

Hermione was startled from her thoughts by a whisper in her ear. She turned and saw Draco leaning forwards towards her.

"Granger, you've forgotten the ground beetle eggs," he whispered again, realising she hadn't heard the first time. "If you add that first, the sodding cauldron will blow up."

Hermione looked at the bottle in her hand that Draco had gestured to.

_Gnats milk. Bugger, he was right._

"Thanks, Malfoy," Hermione said, grudgingly. She knew that if she had tipped her hand just a few centimeters more, the entire contents of her cauldron would be splattered around the classroom. It annoyed her that Draco Malfoy of all people would have to be the one to save her from the humiliation of making such a ridiculous mistake.

"Something on your mind? Busy planning your marriage to Potter?" he asked her in a low voice with a flicker of a mocking smile, still leaning forward.

_Finally,_ Hermione thought. _If he didn't comment on that soon, I would have had to assumed he'd had some sort of frontal lobotomy or something._

Hermione had to give it to him, he was quite good at being nice when he wanted to be. Or it might just have been how drastic the change was – he could have been sitting there throwing dung beetles at her and it would still have been better than the usual level of hatred he fired at her.

"Was wondering how I'm going to pass my Potions NEWT with Professor Snape gone," Hermione replied, talking quietly. Albus let them talk while they worked, but she still didn't want Harry to hear her being friendly to Draco.

_He'd probably faint from the shock,_ she decided.

"I can get some extra tuition at home," Draco said, a sly smile on his face that Hermione instantly disliked. Then his eyes widened in quick realization and he instantly looked guilty. Hermione realized he was very possibly remembering that even if she could have got extra tuition at home, she wouldn't be returning home, thanks to him.

He mumbled something and disappeared into the storeroom to get the rest of the ingredients for the potion. Hermione turned back to her work and was met by an accusing stare.

"What?" Hermione asked Harry, her voice defensive before he'd even spoken.

"Your sudden attraction to all things Slytherin is a little worrying, Hermione," Harry said quietly so no one but Hermione could hear him.

"Attracted to Malfoy?!" Hermione hissed incredulously. "I think the fumes must be getting to you."

"Well you have to admit that it's pretty strange," Harry said, eyeing the scalpel gripped in her right hand warily. "First Snape, now Malfoy…"

"I had one civil conversation with Malfoy, and you're suddenly hearing wedding bells!" Hermione muttered, going back to chopping. The very idea that she could fancy Draco was laughable, and almost insulting, but then Harry had no idea what Draco had put her through over these last few weeks.

xxx

Hermione arrived at the library an hour early to meet Draco. She smiled at Luna, who was sitting at a desk, looking out of the window with a dreamy expression on her face, her books unopened in front of her. Then she made her way into the restricted section of the library and started searching.

An hour later, she still hadn't found what she had been looking for. She had finally gotten around to trying to find the _Añanki _tribe's protection charms, as Severus had suggested. Except there was absolutely nothing about them in either the restricted section, or the general section. She even went as far as asking Madame Pince for help, but even she couldn't help, and seemed to blame Hermione for it.

Hermione was tired, depressed and deeply nauseous by the time Draco walked into the library, his head down for once. Hermione presumed he had snuck away from his 'friends' as he hadn't wanted them knowing he was coming to meet her.

"Hey," Hermione said, gently. Well, she had to start somewhere and 'sod off Malfoy' probably wouldn't get her the book, apart from anything else.

"Hey," Draco echoed, seeming to cringe as he looked at her. "Here's the book."

He handed her a large, old book, with gold lettering in the cover. She ran her fingers over the leather cover, smiling at the silken feel of it. God, she loved books. She loved their smell and their feel, and most of all she loved the information they contained. They said knowledge was power, and she couldn't soak enough up.

"You're a strange one, Granger," Draco said, looking at her with an indeterminable look on his face.

"Always have been," Hermione said, nodding. "So are you."

Draco frowned at her for a second and then pulled up a chair and sat heavily on it.

"Less of the cheek, if you please," Draco said, leaning back in his chair and trying to look like he was completely comfortable having a conversation with one of his enemies in the middle of a darkened library.

To Draco's intense discomfort, Hermione broke into fits of giggles. Draco looked around to see if anyone had heard her and would come to see what the hell was wrong with her.

"I'm sorry," Hermione gasped, mid giggle. "It's just that my Great Aunt Hester says that to me all the time. I got this image of you with a nice blue perm and Dame Edna glasses…"

She burst into giggles again and Draco stared at her, bemused and more than a little annoyed. No one usually dared to laugh at him. With him yes, because he'd curse them if they didn't, but never at him…

"Kind of Neville's Boggart," Hermione added, giggling again.

Draco's face broke into a reluctant grin at the memory of that image of Snape in that incredibly fetching hat…

Hermione sobered as she thought of Severus at the exact same time that Draco had. She turned back to the book Draco had brought her.

"This won't blow up or eat me if I open it, will it?" she asked, giving him a half joking smile.

"As tempting as it is, Granger…" Draco said, thinking that it would have been much easier if the book did just explode and kill both him and Granger. "I'm sure I could think of more inventive ways of killing you."

_Yes, like handing me over to Voldemort,_ Hermione thought bitterly.

"Do you want to go for a drink tomorrow?" Hermione asked on impulse. "Harry is going, but…"

As her voice trailed off, Draco's platinum blonde eyebrows shot so far up that they nearly disappeared.

"_You_ want _me_ to go for a drink with… _Potter?!_" Draco's voice was incredulous. The idea of going for a drink with Granger where people could see him was ridiculous enough, but… Potter?!

"It was only a suggestion," Hermione said, shrugging. "If you're afraid he can out-drink you, or something..."

"I'm a Slytherin," Draco pointed out, looking disgusted with her. "You're going to have to do better than that, if you're going to try to play mind games with me."

"How about you, Harry and Ginny all come up to my room and watch some films and get nicely slaughtered?"

"Slaughtered?" Draco echoed with an almost calculating grin.

"You know what way I meant it," Hermione said, giving him a warning glare. "Stop thinking about slaughtering Harry."

Draco actually found himself feeling reluctantly amused, but refused to show it.

_It's the idea of slaughtering Potter that's cheering me up,_ Malfoy decided.

"I don't know, Granger," Draco said, thinking that it would be the worst night of his entire life, spent watching Muggle television with three Gryffindors. In fact, he couldn't think of anything worse, other than maybe having to have sex with Millicent Bulstrode. Except he had to win her over somehow, and he was quite pleased with his progress so far.

"Me, Potter, Alcohol…" Draco said, smirking. "Who knows how many limbs he'd have left at the end of the night."

"And I thought you were just worried the alcohol would lower your inhibitions and you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off him," Hermione said with a smile.

Draco stared at Hermione with his mouth open.

"Make it the day after tomorrow," Hermione said, gathering her things. "Will meet you outside the Fat Lady at seven thirty."

As she walked away, she wondered how long Draco would be standing in the library with his mouth open, completely outraged about her 'gay' comment.

Well, what does he expect with those clothes, that hair and that walk… 


	26. Chapter 26

Hermione decided that the best time to break the news about the evening Harry would have to spend with Draco, would be when Harry was completely slaughtered. Which was why Harry was already slurring, and they'd only been in the Three Broomsticks for an hour.

"Drink up," Hermione said cheerfully, as she nursed her glass of pumpkin juice. "I've bought you another round."

"Are you trying to get me drunk, so you can take me home and have your wicked way with me?" Harry asked, with a drunken grin.

"Yep," Hermione answered, smiling at her friend. "Now drink up."

"Much more and I won't be able to walk back, let alone be sober enough to be seduced," he slurred, pushing his drink away.

"Honestly, whoever thought the great Harry Potter would be a lightweight," Hermione said, tutting. "I'll let you off after that glass anyway, because I want you to be able to hold your own when Draco joins us for drinks tomorrow night."

"Oh, right," Harry said, smiling and taking a handful of peanuts from the bowl in the middle of the table. "That's nice."

Hermione beamed at him and took a large swig of her juice. Actually, the juice, like everything else, was starting to make her feel sick. Luckily, however, her breasts had stopped hurting – for the last week or so, she hadn't been able to get comfortable at all during the night because of them.

She actually felt unusually well. Harry had taken her to a restaurant before they had headed off for a drink, and Hermione had enjoyed herself immensely. It had been the first time she had been to a restaurant without her parents, well, ever. And Harry was enjoying playing the romantic side up for all it was worth – he'd even greeted her at the door to her rooms with a single rose, which she had hugged him tightly for. It was nice to be made to feel special.

"Hang on," Harry said, his brow wrinkling, making his glasses slip down his nose. "What did you just say?"

"I'm really glad you're okay with it, Harry," Hermione said, brightly. "Cos it's a really good idea for us to be nicer to Draco. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and all that. And he has really been behaving himself lately."

"I don't want to have Draco close…" Harry said, looking horrified.

"But you've already agreed," Hermione said, pouting. Her acting abilities were far better than this, but why waste them on a man who could barely focus on you, let alone really think for himself. In fact, she'd probably end up having to explain this all to him in the morning, through his hangover.

"You're confusing me," Harry said, sounding disgruntled. "Stop that."

Hermione laughed. "Come on Harry, let's get you back. We've only got an hour before we have to be back at Hogwarts and it might take you that long to stagger home."

"I think I'm going to need a hangover potion in the morning," Harry slurred, knocking his chair over as he got to his feet.

"Sorry," he apologised to the chair as he walked out of the The Three Broomsticks and into the cold air. "Arse. I didn't plan on getting this drunk."

"It's funny," Hermione said, linking her arm through his in an effort to keep him walking in a straight line.

"I don't want to be funny, I want to be morantic," he muttered to his feet, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

"You mean romantic," Hermione laughed. "But you can be morantic if you like."

"No, no, no," Harry said, looking down at her, his face sporting a disgruntled look. "This is going all wrong."

Hermione looked at Harry in confusion.

"I've had more fun tonight than I've had in months. What can possibly have gone wrong?"

"I wanted to do this properly, but I was so nervous…" Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box.

_Oh God, no._

"Harry, I don't think you want to do this," Hermione said, immediately understanding and wishing she didn't.

"No, hear me out, Mione," Harry said, putting his hand on her arm to stop her from walking on without him. "Don't say no yet."

"Harry, we're friends," Hermione said, looking helplessly at the ring box in Harry's hand. "We can't get married. We're not in love."

"No, but I do love you," Harry said, firmly. "And I could probably fall in love with you."

"Very romantic," Hermione said, with a nervous laugh.

_Now why couldn't Severus have done this instead?_ Hermione thought, miserably.

"You'll get Wizarding benefits this way, and you'll have every right to any money I have," Harry explained, thankfully at least mostly oblivious to Hermione's misery. "We can live together and you can Floo to Hogwarts to apprentice, or I can Floo to wherever I'll be doing my Auror training."

"I'm not taking your money, and I'm certainly not marrying you so I can have whatever small amount of benefits we'd get from the Wizarding community," Hermione said. "I want to marry for love, not convenience."

Except she still loved Severus, even now she knew she'd never get to tell him. Would she ever really and truly fall in love with anyone again?

"And you've got to marry someone _you_ truly love," Hermione said, suddenly thinking of that important point. "Someone like Ginny. I _know_ you care about her, Harry."

Harry stared at Hermione, a miserable look on his face.

"How long have you been planning this?" Hermione asked gently, taking the unopened ring box from Harry's hand and dropping it back into his cloak pocket.

"Since the night you told me about Snape and the baby," Harry said, looking at his feet again.

"We need to find you a sobering potion, and then talk about this properly," Hermione said, taking his arm again. "Come on, let's head back."

"Pomfrey doesn't give them out anymore," Harry said quietly, walking beside her. "Said it encourages the children to drink and we're not meant to be allowed to yet anyway."

"Actually, Harry," Hermione said, smiling at the memory. "What she said was, _'this is getting ridiculous. Let go of my leg and go and have a lie down. I never want to see you after you've been drinking ever again.'_"

"Same thing," Harry said, suddenly grinning.

"It's alright, I've got access to Severus' rooms. I'm sure I can find you some," Hermione said, the idea suddenly coming to her. She could also have a look for that book on protection charms while she was there. And maybe mope a little.

She only half admitted to herself that she wanted to be in his quarters again, and was finally glad to have the excuse. God, she missed him.

"Will never get used to hearing you call him that," Harry muttered. "Just weird."

As they reached the entrance to the dungeons, Hermione told Harry to wait for her while she went to collect the potion. She had an idea that Severus would come back from the dead to haunt her if she dared to take Harry into his private quarters. And besides, he'd probably break his neck trying to navigate the steps in the darkness, the state he was in.

As Hermione slipped past all Severus' wards, she tried desperately not to let depression set in again. She had Harry to worry about for tonight – she could mourn Severus some more later, once she was alone.

She slipped through his wards, noting that they were still sensitive to her and wondered why he'd never changed them back to keep her out. He wasn't the type of man to just forget something like that; had he trusted her enough to let her have total access to his quarters? Surely that meant something? It was so difficult coping with the fact that he was dead _and_ never really cared about her.

She slipped into his storeroom and quickly found the vial of sobering potion – the same kind she had forced Severus to drink when he had been turning himself into an alcoholic prune in the bath. She slipped it into her pocket, then suddenly froze. She felt a prickling on the back of her neck. She was being watched.

She turned around slowly, knowing that there was no way this was Harry standing watching her – it just didn't feel right. As she finally took in the cloaked figure in the doorway of the storeroom, she gasped.

Her mouth opened to either let out a scream, or… well, probably just let out a scream. Quickly arms reached for her and she was pulled against a warm and familiar body. Her back was pressed against a hard chest and a hand was firmly clamped down over her mouth.

After a couple of seconds, once he was sure she was calm enough not to scream, he moved her away from him and pushed her behind the large wooden door of the store room.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced with a warning glower from Severus.

_He's not a ghost, cos he touched me,_ Hermione thought, experiencing a curious sense of Deja vu. _God, this man has nine lives._

She studied his face and took in the bruises all over his skin, and the way he couldn't put any weight on his left leg. Severus stared back at Hermione, his eyes hungry. Then he tensed. He slowly turned around, as if every bone in his body was aching as he moved.

"What're you dawdling for, Severus?" she heard a voice snap. "Get the stuff and get out."

_Lucius…?_

"I'm working out what I need," Severus replied, his throat sounding scratchy, like he had a really bad sore throat.

_Hours of screaming,_ Hermione realized, staring at Severus from her vantage point from behind the door. She held her breath as Lucius made to step into the storeroom too.

"This room is small, Lucius," Severus said, sounding irritated. "I can barely move in here it as it is. It's not like I can escape from here, is it?"

"I don't trust you," Lucius said, his tone suspicious. But he sighed and moved out of the small room, walking away from the storeroom. Severus briefly let himself look at Hermione, before tearing his gaze away to turn and collect ingredients from the various bottles and jars from the shelves.

"Dragon Heart," he said clearly, as he dropped every jar from the shelf into the large pocket of his robe. "Powdered Graphorn, Mandrake root and some Salamander blood."

He was saying all this on purpose, Hermione realized as it took her a moment or two for it to sink in. He was taking the ingredients to make healing potions, presumably at Voldemort's, or at least Lucius' insistence. And he wanted her to know what he was doing.

"Are you sure you've got all the other basic ingredients at the Manor, Lucius?" Severus called from the storeroom, his eyes meeting Hermione's as he spoke.

"Do I have to keep repeating myself, Severus?" Lucius snarled from somewhere near the door. "Do you have to be reminded that I am the only thing that stands between you and your delightfully painful death? Do not irritate me."

Hermione looked at Severus, desperate to stop him leaving with Lucius. She had her wand, if she could catch Lucius unaware…

Severus almost imperceptibly shook his head.

"Are Knot, Avery and the others done sniffing around my personal possessions?" Severus asked, sounding bored. "Because I'm about done here."

_Oh. Right. Too many for her to take alone, and presumably Severus didn't have his wand either._

As Severus took one last look at Hermione, he gave her a sad smile. He knew Hermione would do whatever she could to find him and would go straight to Albus, but he also knew that no one could find Lucius' house unless they were taken to it directly by one of the Malfoys. And if Albus forced a search of the Malfoy Manor, he would be dead and disposed of before they could even get through the front door.

Hermione reached up to her neck and pulled hard on the chain she wore there, breaking it easily. She took a quick look at the locket she had worn around her neck since her sixteenth birthday, and then quickly dropped it into Severus' hand. He stared at her for a moment, then mouthed something to her.

Her heart raced as she struggled to read his lips, scared that at any moment he would be dragged away, before she could hear what he was saying.

As he took another step towards the door, he dared to whisper.

"I have just over three weeks before I am no longer useful," he whispered urgently, so quietly she relied mostly on lip reading to understand him. "Go into hiding. Please don't let me die without knowing you are safe."

He reached for her face with his only free hand and touched her cheek gently and briefly.

"I love you," Hermione whispered, nodding to show him she would do as he said, while desperately trying to fight back the tears.

Severus stared at her, his eyes searching hers almost desperately.

"What are you doing in there?" Lucius asked, sounding hugely irritated. His voice made Hermione jump and Severus winced.

Severus tore his gaze from Hermione's, then limped out of the storeroom, pulling the door shut behind him.

Hermione waited for about five minutes before daring to open the door and creep back up the stairs to find Harry. As she reached the top step, her legs seemed to give way and she collapsed onto one of the cold, stone steps. There were no more tears left and Hermione buried her head in her arms and sobbed dry sobs, until strong, warm arms lifted her from her position on the step.

"You should have told her he was still alive," a female Scottish voice said from close by.

"What good would it have done?" Albus' voice came, next to her ear. "Let's just let her get some sleep, then we can talk to her in the morning."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry about the cliffhanger last time I posted. But see how quickly I updated. All proud ;o)

x


	27. Chapter 27

When Hermione was put gently down in a large chair in Albus Dumbledore's office, she was past caring what was going on. Professor McGonagall handed her a blanket and sat in the chair next to her, while Albus made them all cups of thick, steaming hot chocolate from some contraption he had next to his desk.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked, pulling the blanket more tightly around her. She suddenly felt freezing cold and was having difficulties stopping herself shivering and spilling her drink.

"He's sobering up under Madam Pomfrey's care," Minerva told Hermione, her tone disdainful. "We found him stumbling around the hallways, muttering to himself."

"But the sobering potion works almost instantly," Hermione said, confused as to why Harry wasn't here for her to cling to, and feeling slightly suspicious.

"Madam Pomfrey has decided to teach Harry a lesson," Albus said, with an amused half smile. "This version of the potion will leave him with his hangover, but works much more slowly."

Hermione winced on Harry's behalf. She was secretly glad she didn't have to deal with Harry's marriage proposal that night. Finding out Severus was still alive had been energy sapping enough for her, without trying to explain to Harry why she wasn't prepared to walk down the aisle with him.

"He was muttering something about marriage as Poppy bundled him away," Albus said with a grin. "Poppy was most worried that he may be proposing to her."

_If only,_ Hermione thought, cringing.

"Sir, I have to tell you something," Hermione said, suddenly feeling more awake. "I saw Severus tonight. He's not dead, sir. Lucius has him and I think he is being forced to make Healing potions for the Death Eaters, for them to use during the battle. He's okay, but we've got to get him out of there, before something happens to him."

Hermione waited for a moment for the professors to react to the news. When neither of them did anything more than send her a sad smile, her face suddenly developed a glower worthy of Professor Snape himself.

"You knew," she said. It was a statement, not a question. "You knew, and yet you left me to believe he was dead."

Minerva gave Albus a pointed look that plainly said, 'I told you so.'

"I knew, yes," Albus said, sounding tired. "But as there is no way to rescue him, I thought I would spare you the waiting and the uncertainty. It was enough that you lost him once, what was the point in me letting you lose him again? There is no hope, Hermione. There is no way to get to him without shortening his life still further."

"But there must be a way for us to get into the Malfoy Manor," she said, incredulous that Albus would give up on Severus that easily. "Or we can send Aurors. I think it's got past it mattering if Severus' cover is blown."

Minerva gave Hermione a thoughtful look at her use of the Potions Professors first name. Hermione suddenly realized that Albus hadn't even confided in the deputy headmistress about her and Severus' situation and felt grateful to the old and understanding Wizard. Grateful, but still incredibly annoyed that he hadn't bothered to inform her of Severus' situation. It was Albus withholding information like this that got them all into trouble and Harry nearly killed on countless occasions.

_I'd have thought he'd have bloody learnt by now,_ her annoyed and tired inner voice snarled.

"I have been through all the options with the members of the Order," Albus said, his kind eyes understanding but sad at the same time. "Lucius Malfoy has so many early warning devices that we have never managed to get anywhere near his house without being detected. Severus would be dead in minutes. As would he be if we ordered a search of his house."

"Why didn't you try to rescue him when he was here tonight?" Hermione asked, feeling a surge of anger and helplessness almost overwhelm her. Why weren't they doing something, _anything_ to help Severus? There had to be something they could do.

"They were only detected a minute before they all left," Albus said, looking somewhat guilty.

"They could have killed us all in our beds," Hermione said in horror.

"The rest of the castle has many more early warning devices than Severus' chambers," Albus explained. "Severus needed to have less restrictions on his part of the Floo network, and they came through Severus' own house into the castle. Although I will admit that tonight has urged me to put up even more wards, and I will see to that after we have finished here."

"So that's it, is it? You're giving up?" Hermione asked, suddenly getting to her feet. She started frantically pacing and Albus watched with a small smile, remembering Hermione pacing in this exact way less than three months ago in Severus' own living room. If he'd known then what throwing those two together would cause, would he still have done it?

"We have covered every possibility, Hermione," Minerva said gently, feeling mildly dizzy at all the pacing.

"Unless there is something you can add that we haven't already thought of?" Albus said, quietly. "As I recall, you and your friends are very good at thinking outside the box."

"Severus was usually the man to plan these sorts of rescues," Minerva told Hermione, suddenly fighting back the tears. Hermione's agitation seemed to be infectious.

Hermione stopped mid-stride and stared at Minerva, a look of dawning realization on her face. Minerva half expected a comedy light bulb to pop up above Hermione's head.

"That charm, sir," she said, turning to Albus. "The one you used on Severus and I at the start of the term? The protection charm?"

Albus and Minerva both nodded, both of them realizing what Hermione was suggesting.

"Put it back on us. I could hear his thoughts. It might still work." Hermione looked at Albus, desperate for this to work, if only so she could talk to him and feel close to him again.

"That isn't a good idea, Hermione," Albus said, quietly. "Severus is no doubt being subjected to tortures such as the Cruciatus Curse. In your condition, subjecting yourself to such a link could harm your baby."

"There must be a way to change the spell somehow? To make it less physical and more mental."

"Or I could do it," Minerva said. "You could cast the charm on me. Then I could at least ask Severus if he wants us to try getting in to the Manor to save him, at the risk of ending his life."

"I'm afraid it wouldn't work, Minerva," Albus said, looking uncomfortable and amused all at the same time. "You and Severus do not share the same connection that Hermione and Severus do."

Minerva looked puzzled and Hermione looked nervous, guessing what might be coming.

"The protection charm goes by the name _Protego Amor_, which I am assuming renders everyone else at Hogwarts unable to use this incredibly inventive and useful charm."

"But Protego Amor means 'protect love'," Minerva said, looking puzzled. "Why is Hermione the only candidate for such a charm? I mean, I know Severus tolerates Miss Granger far better than most of his students, but I am sure that doesn't mean she's his life's love, or anything so ridiculous."

Hermione's eyes widened and Albus shot her a knowing look.

"I think you are taking the words too literally, Minerva. Severus and Hermione don't necessarily have to be in love for it to work. They just have to have shared the act of love itself. Which makes Hermione the only person in Hogwarts who this charm can be performed on. Unless there's something you haven't told us about Severus and yourself, Minerva?

At Albus' teasing grin, Minerva shot him a sour look. Then her eyes widened and she gaped at Hermione.

"Now Minerva, there are extenuating circumstances. Don't go overreacting and scaring Hermione any more than she's already been scared tonight." Albus gave Minerva a warning look.

"That would be difficult," Hermione said, faintly. This was all getting a bit much. All she wanted was to save Severus. They managed to rescue countless people from situations much worse than this – why couldn't they rescue Severus, who had done so much for the Wizarding world with no real recognition.

"You do not have to be in love for the charm to work," Albus was still saying. "However, when one or more of the people involved are experiencing strong feelings about the other, the spell is much stronger."

He shot Hermione another knowing look and added, "Usually the spell works just when one of the pair are in danger, but when there is real love involved, they are able to hear each other's thoughts, or feel what they are feeling, merely through being near each other. Or through something as small as merely thinking about each other."

Hermione's eyes widened again, remembering how she had heard Severus almost everywhere she had gone towards the end of being under the influence of the charm.

"Put the spell on us again, Albus," Hermione said, her voice determined. "Or put it on an object, so if Severus gets hurt, I can just remove the object to distance myself from him again."

"An interesting idea, Hermione," Albus said thoughtfully. "Depending on the object, the spell might just become amplified enough to connect you both, even over the huge distance separating you now."

"Miss Granger," Minerva said, finally finding her voice again. "I realise I am very much in the dark here, but is talking to Severus really worth risking your baby? You don't even know that it will help. Severus is a good man and does not deserve to die, but he has always known what risks his work has involved. It is not up to you to risk so much for him."

Hermione stopped pacing and dropped to her knees next to her Transfigurations Professor's chair. She looked Minerva in the eyes, holding her gaze.

"I want my child to know its father," Hermione said, her voice quiet, but determined. "And I want to give Severus a chance to love something that won't get taken away from him. He needs a second chance at life and this child could give him it."

Hermione got to her feet, oblivious to the warm smile Albus was giving her.

"Besides," she added, brightly. "It's my turn to save his life."

"Know its father…?" Minerva was still trying to digest what Hermione had told her, in her own roundabout way. "Oh my God."

Shooting Albus an almost amused smile, which she thought was amazing given all the strain she was under, Hermione met his eyes again.

"If you don't put that charm on Severus and I, I am going to find a way to do it myself," Hermione said, firmly.

Albus got to his feet and opened a small drawer in his desk.

"On the night that Severus came to me, after his mother and sister had been murdered," he said, addressing Hermione. "He left this with me for safe keeping."

He lifted his hand to show a deep red stone, surrounded by silver, hanging from a thin silver chain. Hermione looked at it, unable to take her eyes from it.

"That's… beautiful," she said, almost hypnotized by it.

"It belonged to Severus' mother," Albus explained. "Every man in the Snape family was to give it to the woman they loved, and it was fabled to bind them for eternity. Severus' mother refused to wear it, but always carried it with her. His father had betrayed her too many times for her to want to be bound to him."

Hermione nodded. She knew enough from both Harry and Severus to know that Severus' father hadn't been a nice man, to say the least.

"I will put the charm on this necklace," Albus said, placing the necklace in her hands and lifting his wand. "The stone will amplify the charm, hopefully enough for it to connect you both."

"I can't possibly wear this," Hermione said, shaking her head. This wasn't right.

"You are merely borrowing it, Hermione," Albus said, before he closed his eyes and began chanting words that Hermione could barely catch, let alone decipher.

Hermione felt her hands tingle and the stone in her hands grew warm, until she had trouble keeping hold of it. When Albus finally opened his eyes, he took the chain from Hermione's hands and stared at the stone in the center.

"You may be too far apart for this to work," he said, his voice grave. "Do not put too much hope into this, Hermione."

Both Albus and Minerva watched Hermione as Albus fastened the necklace around her neck. Immediately Hermione felt a shiver of power flow through her body.

_Severus? Can you hear me?_

Hermione reached out with her mind and her eyes widened in panic. She couldn't feel him. She couldn't hear him.

_Severus?_

She felt something far away and closed her eyes while she used her mind to grope for it. He was there, she knew he was.

"Severus?" she said out loud, panic in her voice. Albus and Minerva exchanged sad smiles.

"I didn't hold much hope, Hermione," Albus said, gently. "He is quite a long way away."

"There may still be a way we haven't thought of, Miss Granger," Minerva said, just as gently.

"No. I am _not_ giving up on this," Hermione growled as she whirled around to glare at the two Professors. "I am going to talk to him and then I am going to get him back. Now for God sake, have a little faith and leave me alone for a minute."

Severus, I know you can hear me. Come on, help me prove Albus and Professor McGonagall wrong. Please.

_Hermione?_ Severus' voice was faint, but she could still hear the confusion and disbelief in his voice.

_Miss Granger to you, _Hermione thought back to him, with a smile. _You're still my professor._

_Alas, Miss Granger, _he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and getting stronger,_ I do not think I'll be getting around to giving you your final grade._

_Gallows humour,_ Hermione said with a fake cheerfulness to her voice._ Joy._

There was silence for a few seconds and Hermione started to panic.

_Severus?_

_I'm here,_ he answered, his tone almost shy. _Are you… real?_

_Real?_ Hermione raised her eyebrow.

There's a chance that I may be imagining this. Your voice. You. It's dark and I can't see or hear anything. Sensory deprivation can do that to someone.

_Not in that space of time,_ Hermione said, her eyes widening in pained sympathy. _Besides, you were in your chambers not an hour ago. The darkness can't have got to you already._

_It can when I've been in it nearly 24 hours a day, for a week,_ Severus said sounding more broken than she'd ever heard him before. _We ran out of ingredient for the potions they wanted me to make, so I was locked up for a while as punishment. Because of course it is my fault that they don't have even the most basic…_

_Severus?_ Hermione interrupted him mid-rant. _I'm real._

_It's that infernal charm of Albus' isn't it? _he asked, pulling a face, then wincing as it made the cuts on his face sting. _You somehow convinced him to put it on us again?_

_From quite a distance with you,_ Hermione said. _Got to admire the power of that man._

_You can't save me, Hermione,_ he said, the voice in Hermione's mind quiet, but resigned. _So please don't try._

_That's what people keep saying, _Hermione said back to him. _And it's really starting to irritate me. I'm going to save you, if only to prove everyone else wrong._

_That's my Hermione,_ Severus said, with a chuckle. _Stubborn and brave to the end._

_That's my Severus, _Hermione said, mimicking him, trying to ignore the way her heart leapt when he'd called her _his_ Hermione.

_Thank you for letting me hear your voice again._ Severus smiled a sad smile into the darkness. _Now end this spell and get on with your life. You've got NEWTs to study for and I'll come back and haunt you if you don't get a top grade in Potions._

_I am saving you. It's my turn._

Severus' laugh sent a warm feeling through Hermione's body. God, she loved him.

Hermione, it was truly a pleasure knowing you.

_I'm not bloody leaving you alone to die,_ Hermione growled mentally. _I am going to save you. Now if you could just think of some way for me to do that, I'd really be very grateful._

_What do you think I've been spending all my time doing in here? _Severus asked, his tone sarcastic. _Crocheting bobble hats? Writing my memoirs? No, I've been thinking. For hours upon hours, apart from the times they have me slaving over hot cauldrons with shoddy materials to work with. There is no way to save me. Nothing that won't just get me killed quicker._

_You seem to have a death-wish,_ Hermione pointed out. _And it's irritating._

_I'm irritating? Ten points from Gryffindor for being cheeky to a professor, Miss Granger._

_You can't do that,_ Hermione protested. _Can you?_

At the answering chuckle, she opened her eyes and took in the expectant looks on Albus and Minerva's faces. They had been watching her face as she had 'talked' to Severus and Minerva was having to actually bite her tongue to keep from asking Hermione questions.

"What did he say?" Minerva asked, unable to help herself. "Is he alright?"

"Can he really take points from Gryffindor from where he is?" Hermione asked, looking hugely irritated.

Albus laughed and twinkled at Minerva.

"I think he's alright, Minerva," Albus said, smiling.

_I am not bloody alright! _Severus' voice snarled in her mind. She could almost see his scowl.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"Can you hear what they're saying?" she asked, out loud. Minerva and Albus raised their eyebrows in an almost identical fashion.

Yes. And you can tell Albus that I'm stuck in one of Malfoy's dungeon cells and it's cramped, dark, damp, uncomfortable and fucking freezing. I am most certainly not alright.

"Severus sends his love," Hermione said, giving her Headmaster a grin. "Now I'm going to go and get some sleep, then I'm going to work out a way to save Severus."

She walked out of Albus' office, after shooting both Albus and Minerva a smile.

"She's certainly in a better mood," Minerva said, quietly. "Let's hope they can put their minds together and find a way out of this mess for Severus. Merlin! I can't believe they've been sleeping together…"

Albus nodded and put his arm around Minerva's shoulders.

"Much like when we fell in love, don't you think Minerva?" Albus said, smiling. "I pretended I didn't want you, right up until the day you were going to marry that idiot."

"So I married a different idiot instead," she said, affectionately.

Albus twinkled at Minerva. "It will work out," he said, with confidence he mostly felt. "Their paths are mapped out for them and I don't see Severus not being around to see how his daughter grows up to be just as headstrong and powerful as her mother."

Minerva's eyes lit up. "It's a girl?"

Albus twinkled some more.

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Sorry it took so long – had a lot on my mind recently.

The next chapter is just waiting to be checked and should be online tomorrow and Chapter 29 is mostly written. Again, I'm really sorry for my disappearing act. x


	28. Chapter 28

As Hermione undressed and got into bed, she tried desperately not to feel how tired and hurt Severus was. She could tell he hadn't slept in days, and his body was a mass of bruises. And he possibly had a broken rib – she couldn't quite tell where the pain was coming from, but she knew it hurt more when he tried to take a deep breath.

_You need to rest,_ Hermione told Severus. _That rib needs to heal and your body won't be doing anything to help in its exhausted state._

_Have you ever tried to sleep on a dungeon floor, Hermione? It's not an easy task. Not to mention the fact that it's incredibly difficult to relax when the dulcet tones of Lucius Malfoy may be waking you from that sleep at any second. _Severus didn't voice the fact that he was past caring whether his rib healed or not. Soon it would all be over, and what was the point in fixing himself to just be broken all over again?

Hermione turned over in her bed, trying to find a position she was comfortable in. She finally relaxed her body and then put her hand on her stomach, which was finally starting to swell a little; not enough for anyone to really notice anything, especially under the robes she usually wore, but her jeans were tight and she was half dreading and half looking forward to the day when she would be forced to transfigure them.

_You're showing,_ Severus said, his voice gentle.

_You can feel it?_ Hermione asked, her hand still lightly stroking her stomach.

_I can feel it,_ he confirmed, his voice betraying an element of awe. _I can feel what your hand touches, if I concentrate._

_There's a tiny version of you in there,_ Hermione said, her mind's voice gentle to match Severus'. _Probably with his very own little cauldron and snarky expression._

_I thought you were going to sleep,_ Severus said, closing his eyes in pain; except this pain was more mental than physical. He couldn't allow himself to wonder, to care about the child he had conceived with Hermione. It would make finally dying hurt so much more.

_You can take your barriers down you know,_ Hermione said, her voice even more gentle than before. _What have you got to lose now?_

_More than you know, Hermione,_ Severus' said, turning to try to get comfortable on the cold stone floor and wincing in pain as he did so.

_I meant what I said, you know,_ Hermione said, cringing with him as she felt the stabs of pain as if they were running through her own body. _What I said to you earlier tonight, in your storeroom…_

Severus tried to clamp down on the rush of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him.

_For God sake, girl – go to sleep._

_Come and lie with me, Severus, _Hermione said, sleepily. She closed her eyes and imagined his head on her shoulder, his body cushioned against hers. She pictured his arm around her waist and her hand in his hair. She could almost feel the silk of his hair under her fingers as the 'Hermione in her head' stroked his hair in the most soothing way she knew how.

Severus groaned, before letting go; letting his mind be cushioned as finally sweet oblivion overtook him.

xxx

_I insist you end this charm at once,_ Severus said, his voice stern in her head. _I absolutely **refuse** to sit through Seventh Year Charms again. I will find a way to make you pay for this._

Hermione was amused. She shouldn't have been in such a good mood really, because nothing had really changed. But nonetheless, she found the ranting in her head rather like having an amusing sarcastic voice over for her life.

Severus had tried to distance his mind from hers and had found it almost impossible to do so. He had been woken from the first real sleep he had had in the last two weeks by Lucius Malfoy, who had been hugely irritated to find Severus relaxed enough to be lightly snoring in his cell. Now Severus was trying to brew heavy duty healing potions, while having to listen to Hermione's professors drone on. He was only glad Hermione didn't have any contact with Professor Binns at all that day, or he might have been driven to throw himself into the large cauldron he was currently stirring.

_Bloody Filius – I'll give him 'swish and flick.'_

Hermione grinned and avoided Harry's eyes as he gave her a funny look. She'd been preoccupied all day and now she was randomly smiling to herself, and he didn't think that there was much chance that it had anything to do with his proposal the night before.

"Something's cheered you up," Harry whispered, wincing as a stab of pain ran through his head and Professor Flitwick walked past. He wasn't sure whether he was whispering to keep from being heard, or to keep his head from splitting open. "Thought any more about that question I asked you?"

"Harry, this isn't the time or place to talk about this," Hermione whispered back, sending him a stern look. Sod whether people overheard, she just didn't want Severus to hear.

What question, Hermione? You're hiding something…Severus raised his eyebrows in suspicion, before adding the chopped Mandrake root to the bubbling cauldron. 

_Bugger off._

_Love to. Release me from this charm and I will be happy to obey._ Admittedly, he didn't actually want her to, but being connected to Hermione's mind like this was giving him hope that he didn't want, or need. The situation was hopeless and feeling like this was just going to make everything so much harder.

_You've stopped taking points from me now, I see,_ Hermione thought to him, with a smile.

_If I had carried on, there wouldn't have been any more for me to take,_ Severus replied, adding the final ingredient, before sliding down onto the hard floor for a rest.

_Have you thought of perhaps making a potion that could get you out of there, Severus? _Hermione asked, the idea suddenly coming to her as her hand copied down every word Professor Flitwick was saying.

_I have limited supplies and I am constantly watched, _Severus said, sighing. _And Lucius had the foresight to leave the only Death Eater who had any talent at potion making as my guard. I taught him myself three years ago – I knew there was something not right about him then._

_Why couldn't that man have made the healing potions then? _Hermione said, her mood suddenly blackening. It all seemed so hopeless. _Why go to all the trouble of kidnapping you? Healing potions aren't all that difficult._

_I am offended that you need to ask that question, Hermione, _Severus said, his mind's voice superior. Hermione imagined him in front of her, black robes billowing as he strode around the room, lecturing her. _I am one of the top Potions Masters in my field. There are only two or three of my standard in the entire world._

_So why on earth do you choose to work at Hogwarts? _Hermione asked, smiling at the arrogance that only he could carry off so well. It was somehow sexy.

_Think, girl._

_Dumbledore? _she asked, scrunching her nose up. _You started working here just so you'd be useful as a spy? No wonder you don't seem to like us – you must resent the hell out of the whole lot of us._

Severus snorted, making the Death Eater at the door glance sharply at him.

I don't resent my students, I just think most of them are utterly brainless and in desperate need of discipline. Professors such as the one who is droning on at the moment do not prepare students for life, let alone war. My methods are harsh, but those who survive them become stronger for it.

Harry was giving Hermione a funny look.

"What?" she asked, looking puzzled.

Harry gestured to the piece of parchment in front of her. The last line, _My methods are harsh, but those who survive them become stronger for it,_ jumped out at her.

Oh God.

_What? _Severus' concerned voice only made Hermione cringe more.

I appear to have been writing down everything you've been saying to me over the past few minutes, Hermione reluctantly told him. My concentration appears to be a little bit impaired with you lecturing in my head.

I was not lecturing, I was merely answering your question, Severus said, sharply.

I like it when you lecture, Hermione said, feeling his hurt and being a little taken aback by it. Being in Lucius' dungeons must have really been taking it out of him.

Of course, Severus said, his tone sarcastic.

You really have no idea what that voice of yours does to people, do you? Hermione asked, almost shyly. She had given up taking notes now and was just looking down at her desk, pretending to be reading the open book in front of her.

I'm sure Potter and Weasley just sit there in ecstasies while I lecture, Severus said sarcastically. I bet they can hardly contain themselves.

Hermione's mind drifted back to the classes she'd been in where she's listened to his voice, as it sent shivers down her spine. The odd few times she'd even had to disappear to her room during her lunch hour to help herself wind down a little.

That is hardly appropriate, Miss Granger, Severus said as the images bombarded his mind. He tried desperately not to picture Hermione lying on the top of her bed, her hand clenched between her thighs as she made herself come. Was she thinking of him when she did that?

Back to formalities again, are we? Hermione said. If we are then it would definitely be inappropriate for me to answer that question.

Bloody, buggery charm, Hermione was amused to hear Severus mutter in her mind. Shouldn't you be concentrating on the oh so scintillating Professor Flitwick, Miss Granger?

That's not as much fun… Hermione said, grinning. If she could just forget everything, just for one day – go back to being happy, just for a day.

_Forget about everything for the day. Forget about me. End the charm and put it back tomorrow, _Severus said hearing her thoughts, his heart going out to her. She was far too young for all the awful things she had been through and was going to go through.

_I can still be happy for a day with you in my head._ The thought of not knowing what was happening to Severus filled her with a sudden dread that she tried hard to stamp down, before he felt it too.

_That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say,_ Severus said with a mental derisive snort. _I defy even Albus and his bloody Lemon Drops to stay cheerful with me in their head. It's only for a day, Hermione._

_I'm scared of losing you, _Hermione admitted, biting her lip. _Don't make me break the connection – not now when I've thought you were dead for so many days and I've finally got you back._

"Hermione!" Harry's voice jolted her out of her unhappy conversation with Severus.

"What?" she asked, annoyed.

"Class is over, Hermione," he said more gently, looking concerned. "And we're going to be late if you don't pull yourself together and come now."

xxx

_My God, is he **trying**__to get everyone blown up?_ Severus ranted in Hermione's head. _Tell Albus to put the top back on that Dragon's blood, before it reacts with the air and you all end up in little, ignorant pieces._

_Ignorant? _Hermione eyed the jar on Severus' desk and wondered how he managed to see through her eyes. It was… disconcerting.

Do something! 

"Erm… sir?" Hermione said, as Albus walked past her desk, checking on everyone's potions and giving them words of praise and helpful suggestions. "Would you like me to cork that Dragon's blood for you?"

Albus grinned at Hermione, his twinkle infectious, making everyone in the class twinkle back at him, except for maybe Draco and Pansy.

"No need to worry, Miss Granger," Albus said, his smile knowing. "I have put a spell on the vial, letting the blood out when it the vial is tipped, but not letting anything in. The blood will not react with the air; never fear. Ten points to Gryffindor for being so observant though."

Hermione could feel Severus' inner scowl.

Bloody man. Thinks he knows everything. And now I'm managing to help you accumulate points for Gryffindor! My life is complete. I may as well poison myself now.

Hermione's smile turned into a grin when Albus caught her eye and winked.

_If you poison yourself, how am I meant to construct a suitably dramatic rescue plan? It's my turn to rescue you – do you really want to deny me that?_

_How on earth do you plan on rescuing me?_ Severus was seeing his potions room through Hermione's eyes and his fingers were just itching to interfere. He could see people doing things wrong everywhere he looked and the Headmaster was doing nothing about it!

_Calm yourself, Severus,_ Hermione thought to him with a grin. _Or you'll have a stress induced heart attack and I **still** won't get to save you._

_And again I will ask how you are planning on rescuing me? _Severus almost allowed himself to hope. Hermione was brilliant, there was no denying that and if anyone could be relied on to think of something everyone else had missed, it would be her.

_Thank you, sir,_ Hermione said, blushing at Severus' thoughts of praise. _I didn't think you'd really noticed me until a few months back, when we were thrown together because of Draco._

_Hermione, every professor in the school is quite aware of your brilliance – I would have to have been blind not to notice it. I cannot be seen to notice you while the Dark Lord has so many spies in our midst._

Hermione smiled again, attracting more curious looks her way, from Draco as well as Harry. For his part, Draco wasn't concerned about Hermione's strange behaviour, but was more trying to think of a way to get out of spending the evening in her company. He was thinking of excuses, each more inventive than the last, but still couldn't find one that Granger would let him get away with.

_Draco is watching you,_ Severus told Hermione, warning her. He felt a feeling of protectiveness surge through him and tried to clamp down on the feeling.

_I know, _Hermione said, still chopping her ingredients. _I think he's trying to get out of spending the evening with us all tonight._

_Spending the… what?!_ Severus' voice was loud in Hermione's head, making her wince. _Are you completely insane? Don't you remember what that boy has tried to do to you; what he wants from you?_

_It is because of what Draco Malfoy wants from me that I am arranging this, _Hermione told him, trying to soothe his angry feelings with her own calmer ones. _I need to make him see me as a person, Severus. I need him to feel more guilt than he's feeling already._

_Guilt doesn't always make people act in positive ways_, Severus told her. _If he feels guilty, he is just as likely to resent you for it and try to punish you as he is to back away from you and leave you alone._

_Getting Draco on my side is my only way of getting out of this,_ Hermione said, avoiding Harry's gaze as he watched her. _And my only way of rescuing you._

_My only chance of escape relies on you and Draco Malfoy putting six years of hatred and prejudice behind you, all in the space of three weeks? _Severus asked, the misery in his voice only half put on. _Oh great. Just great…_

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:o) I love you people! You're all so nice!


	29. Chapter 29

"I still don't see why we have to do this," Ron grumbled, finding himself a chair in Hermione's living room while still clutching the bottle of Muggle alcohol to his chest. "Why on earth would we want to befriend Malfoy?"

_The boy has a point,_ Severus commented, for once agreeing with a Weasley. Why would they suddenly be nice to Draco unless they had a solid and very convincing reason to?

_You're going to have to give them some sort of a reason, Hermione,_ he told her, sighing. He had been asking Hermione to break the connection all day and every time he asked she had merely answered, "No," before changing the subject.

As hellish as he was trying to make out it was, he had to admit that part of him (a large part of him) was enjoying listening to Hermione's thoughts and observations. She was intelligent and irritatingly amusing. It really wasn't helping his decision to wallow in self-pity. He also had to admit that he was almost looking forward to seeing how Draco would react in a roomful of Gryffindors, especially when he was trying his best to be friendly and nice to win Hermione over, so he'd have to be on his best behavior.

Hermione sighed. She had decided to get her friends to meet in her rooms early to make sure they wouldn't do anything that would send Draco scurrying from the room in either anger, or abject terror. Except she'd been talking for at least fifteen minutes and she was no nearer convincing them to be nice – even Harry wasn't being entirely helpful, although she supposed that could be because she still hadn't talked to him about his insane proposal.

Harry, Ron, Luna, Neville, Hannah and Cho were all sitting in specially conjured chairs in Hermione's 'living room'. Ginny had conjured herself a beanbag and was sitting cross-legged in the middle of it. She seemed to be dividing her time between giving Cho evil glares and staring longingly at Harry.

Cho was sitting in a chair by the fire, shooting evil looks back at Ginny when she thought Harry wasn't looking. And Harry wasn't looking very much of the time at all, being far too preoccupied by watching Hermione, wondering when he'd manage to get her alone to ask her if she'd made up her mind yet.

Neville and Hannah were sharing one small chair, squashed together and completely happy about it. They were the only people in the room who seemed to not be about to run full pelt out of the room, screaming, "help, Hermione's trying to make us talk to a _Slytherin_!".

Ron was still refusing to look at Hermione and was flirting with Luna in a completely vain attempt to make Hermione jealous, while Luna seemed more interested in a spot above Ron's head.

_Bloody ridiculous. Teenage hormones! _Hermione heard Severus mutter in her head, as he took in the tension in the room through her own eyes and ears. He noticed Ron as he steadfastly avoided looking at Hermione.

_I see you finally broke up with Weasley, _he observed, cringing at the obvious way Ron was flirting with the Ravenclaw girl.

_Didn't you know? I did that a while ago,_ Hermione told him, while frowning at the ensemble of Witches and Wizards in her room. How on earth was she going to get this lot to get on with each other, let alone get on with a Slytherin who they quite rightfully hated.

_Swapped the boy for Potter?_ Severus asked. He cringed as he realised how jealous he sounded.

_No,_ Hermione answered shortly. The stab of guilt that went through her wasn't missed by Severus. He had no idea why Hermione was feeling guilty, and quickly assumed it was because she was lying to him, which only served to irritate him more. The fact that he'd been standing over cauldrons all day wasn't helping his demeanor any either.

_Of course,_ he said, his voice irritatingly superior. _And I suppose you're going to tell me he's not sitting there gazing longingly at your arse either._

Hermione quickly turned and glowered at Harry, who's eyes guiltily shot up from where he had indeed been staring at her arse, and he quickly looked away.

"So… Luna. How are you?" Harry asked pointedly, clearing his throat and turning away from Hermione's accusing glare. "How's The Quibbler going at the moment?"

"Were were _talking_ Harry," Ron interrupted him, sulkily. "Steal the shirt of your back, he would. You always want what I've got."

Harry ignored Ron and carried on his conversation with Luna, as if Ron had never spoken. _So Harry had resorted to ignoring Ron now, had he?_

Hermione turned away again and shook her head in disgust. _Men!_

_Boys,_ corrected Severus. Although he was quite sure he'd never been that bad at their age.

_How on earth did you see where Harry was looking? _she asked, baffled. He could only see the things she could see and she had had her back turned to Harry.

_I have been a spy for a lot of years Hermione,_ Severus informed her, his voice sounding even more superior than before. Then she felt him smile. _I've learned to sense things. Besides, I've seen you in those jeans before and the boy would either have to be blind, or flying for the other team not to be ogling you in them._

Hermione blushed.

_Don't distract me, _she admonished. _I'm about to make a really over the top, motivating speech and my blushing through it won't help people buy it._

"Fine, I get that you're all ever so slightly reluctant to spend the evening making small talk with our not so friendly neighbourhood Ferret," she said, turning to address everyone in the room. "I am also aware that Malfoy's nastiness has gone over and beyond mere inter-house rivalry. But how else could he have been? He's been brought up to be the way he is and the way we are treating him is just pushing him into the ranks of the Death Eaters even faster."

She smiled in satisfaction as she realized everyone in the room had fallen silent and they were still looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

"He has no freedom of choice. If he doesn't become a Death Eater, who will he have left? All his friends are Voldemort fanatics. We might not like him, but this is an opportunity to make him see that he wouldn't be alone if he did choose not to be 'Lucius take two'."

She looked at their faces one by one. Only Neville, Hannah and Luna really seemed to fully buy everything she was saying. She turned her smile into a glare and narrowed her eyes.

"Plus," she added, her hand on her hip and her eyebrow quirked. "If you aren't lovely and sickly sweet to Malfoy not one of the Seventh years here are going to get one iota of help with their History of Magic homework this weekend. And if you remember, the essay is a delightful comparison of all the Ministers of Magic and every one of their policies on Muggles, 1794 through to 1994. Do you really want to do that homework with no help at all?"

Severus smirked at the panic in everyone's eyes. Clearly they had all been banking on the fact that Hermione would come to the rescue again and practically do their homework for them. It would almost be worth it all going wrong with Draco, just to see them try to struggle through the essay on their own.

_I'll have you know I have never done anyone's homework for them in my life! _Hermione stormed, indignantly. _I just help push them in the right direction._

_Just like you don't save Longbottom every single time the ridiculously incompetent boy messes up on my class? _Severus asked, shaking his head. _You know, I only pull you up for half of what I see._

Hermione cringed. _Bugger. I thought you'd at least miss **some** of that._

_You_ underestimate me, Miss Granger.

_God, that voice… _Hermione thought to herself, cringing as she tried to squash the thought far too late. An amused and pleased chuckle sounded in her head and she suddenly felt warm all the way from her ears to her toes.

_And that laugh…_ she added, purposely this time, fighting a blush. Then she turned and looked at her friends again.

"I know there are a lot arguments and misunderstandings between all of us at the moment," she said, summoning the fruit punch she and Ginny had made earlier. "But just for tonight, can't we put all these differences out of our minds? No fighting, no glowering, just drinking and fun?"

"Are you feeling okay, Hermione?" Ron asked from the corner, his brow furrowed. "You of all people encouraging us to drink?"

Hermione summoned the bottle of vodka Ron still had clutched tightly to his chest, ignoring the annoyed look as he tried to grab it as it flew out of his arms and over into Hermione's outstretched hand. She poured half of the bottle into the large bowl of red liquid and made a little stirring motion with her finger, watching as the punch mixed in the bowl until she snapped her fingers.

"You're getting good at that wandless magic," Ginny observed quietly from her beanbag on the floor. "Wish I could do that. Would come in really handy at home."

"Yeah," agreed Ron. "I could summon Fred and George's balls every time they even thought of playing a trick on me."

Hermione grinned at Severus' inner wince.

"Right, so we've all agreed to make every effort to be nice?" Hermione confirmed, her heart sinking as she heard the knock on the door that could only belong to Draco.

_I'm not ready for this,_ Hermione thought to Severus. _I hate confrontations and arguments and inviting Malfoy here with all these lot is practically begging for a fight._

_You can do this,_ Severus reassured her, doing his best to hide any feelings he had to the contrary. _You've faced the Dark Lord himself before, what is the Platinum Blonde Prat compared to that?_

_Not to mention the fact that I've faced you in a bad mood before,_ Hermione added with a small smile. _If I can survive a telling off from you, I can survive anything._

She felt Severus smile as she took a deep breath, reached for the door handle and opened it.

Draco was wearing his most expensive cloak, as some sort of defense Hermione presumed. His hair was slicked back and he had an air of nervousness about him.

_Thank God, he's as nervous as I am,_ Hermione thought as she gestured him in.

"Right, let's get started," Hermione said brightly, conjuring Draco his own seat. "Now if you'll all just sign this parchment before we start…"

xxx

Three hours later Hermione was feeling very pleased with herself. She was the only person in the room who wasn't drunk (or even drinking) and also the only person in the room who had managed to get out of doing anything completely embarrassing.

Ginny and Luna had had to moon Filch, while using concealment charms on their faces so they wouldn't be recognized and Harry had had to do a Shirley Bassey number, complete with the sequined dress. 'Hey Big Spender' would never seem quite the same again.

Ron had had to go down to the common room and confess his undying love to Seamus, who had looked at him like he was a complete psychopath and had then said, 'Alright Ron. That's nice."

Cho had had to leap around the room making monkey noises, followed by eating a banana in a suggestive way, which had made Neville's eyes bulge, although that could have just been Hannah digging him in the ribs with her elbow. Neville and Hannah had had to describe their very first time together in embarrassing detail and had completely disgusted Draco with their soppiness. Draco himself had just been dared to kiss Harry and wasn't looking hugely pleased about it.

The look of horror on both Harry and Draco's face was enough to make Hermione beam in delight, but combined with Severus' ongoing amusing observations she was almost hysterical.

"Cho, how could you?" Harry asked in horror. "Give him another dare! Any other dare!"

"Now really Harry, The Boy Who Lived backing down from something as small as a kiss?" Hermione teased with a grin.

_I think you have had me inside your head for far too long, Hermione, _Severus pointed out. She had said almost exactly what he had been thinking.

"That sounded eerily like Snape," Ron observed from the corner.

"Professor Snape, Ron," Hermione corrected absentmindedly.

_I'll be taking house points from Gryffindor soon,_ Hermione thought to Severus. _God this is amusing. Which one do you think will chicken out first?_

I'm not sure. I don't think Gryffindor bravery goes quite this far… 

Harry glowered at Hermione; she was enjoying the situation far too much.

"It's not up to me to back down," he said through gritted death. "It's Malfoy's dare."

Draco looked around the room eyeing the gleeful expressions. He noticed that the male Weasley was a little green and grinned evilly.

"What's wrong Weasley?" Draco asked, addressing Ron. "Don't want to see your boyfriend getting off with another bloke?"

"How dare you!" Ron spluttered, trying to drunkenly get to his feet. "Just because Slytherin is full of…"

"Ron, I don't think you should finish that sentence," Ginny chastised. "Being that at least one of our brothers is gay, I'd thought you'd be a bit more open minded…"

"Gay? I'm not gay!" Malfoy spluttered, sounding remarkably like Ron. "I've had plenty of women!"

"A cover up," Ginny said, her voice teasing. "Oh go on Draco, get on with it. We all know you don't really fancy Harry."

"Bloody humiliating," Harry muttered to himself as Draco got to his feet and determinedly made his way over to his seat.

"Stand," Malfoy ordered, not looking Harry in the face. He turned to eye Hermione. "That parchment we all signed better do something really nasty to anyone who dares breath a word to anyone about this, Granger."

"It does," Hermione promised solemnly, hiding an amused grin.

_Draco isn't actually gay, is he? _Hermione asked Severus, wondering at the determined but nervous look on Draco Malfoy's face.

_How on earth would I know?_ Severus asked, trying very hard not to think about Draco having sex with anyone, either male or female. _It has never come up in polite conversation, if that's what you mean. 'Oh hello Luicius, lovely massacre we're having here. And by the way, is your son gay?'_

_For all I know he's with one of the school's House Elves every night,_ Severus thought with a cringe at the image of the youngest Malfoy and Dobby in a passionate clinch.

_That would certainly explain some things,_ Hermione thought with a grin. _And in certain lights Dobby could look a little like Richard Gere…_

_That would be with the light **off**__Hermione._ Severus grinned. He had been shoved back into his cold cell about half an hour earlier. A couple of rats had run over his feet since he'd sat down on the cold hard floor and he had been very glad Hermione had ignored his pleas to free him from her mind. Rats hadn't really bothered him before, but now every one he saw reminded him of bloody Peter Pettigrew. Creepy little creatures. At least with the connection between Hermione and himself, he had something else to concentrate on. He could almost imagine he was there at Hogwarts with her, watching her friends make complete and utter prats of themselves, instead of sitting alone in the least welcoming of the Malfoy guest suites.

He watched through Hermione's eyes with something very close to horror as the blonde Slytherin pulled Harry to his feet, then sent a glower around the room.

"I'm doing this because I'm not going to be the first one to back out of a dare," Draco said, making sure everyone understood.

"Oh get on with it!" Ginny Weasley said again. Severus had noticed that she had been drinking more than everyone else in the room for most of the night and wondered if Hermione knew the cause.

Severus watched in fascination as Potter's adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed nervously.

"Look Malfoy, it's a ridiculous dare. You don't have to…"

"Shut up, Potter," Draco said lifting a hand to grasp Harry by the back of his head.

_I can't watch. Close your eyes, Hermione._

_You can watch Voldemort tear people apart, but you can't watch a couple of blokes kissing? I'd say you have some issues…_

_Have you been secretly sampling the punch while I wasn't looking? _Severus asked.

Draco's lips were brushing Harry's over and over again and both Hermione and Severus were staring at them in morbid fascination. Harry had tipped his head to the side and…

_I did **not** just see that,_ Hermione said, closing her eyes. _My best friend did not just slip the Ferret the tongue. That did not just happen._

_I'll join you in that complete denial,_ Severus said, agreeing completely. He was almost glad he'd missed out on this sort of party when he'd been a teenager. Seeing Crabbe and Goyle Senior with their tongues down each other's throats would have finished him off. He would have run to Voldemort _begging_ to join his clan, just go get away from that.

_That was not an image I needed,_ Hermione informed Severus.

It's alright, I doubt Slytherin ever had gatherings like this – our get-togethers mostly involved masks, Dark Lords and large snakes. Very comforting. Hermione resisted making any dirty jokes about large snakes. 

This evening was turning out to be so much better than she'd expected. Draco had been doing his best to not be a complete git, and the others had all made an effort not to be antagonistic. Everyone had finally started to lower their barriers and were actually having a good time. She had even managed to talk Dobby into bringing them pizza, giving him an extra-colourful pair of socks to ease her conscience.

Aunt Matilda's crappy presents have finally come in useful. I wonder if he'd want that pair of brown nylon tights, and the multicoloured crocheted bobble hat… 

_I won't ask, _Severus' amused voice informed her. God, she loved having him in her head, especially after thinking he'd been dead for so long. If she concentrated she could almost imagine she was curled up in his arms, her head resting against his chest. She stopped herself wondering if she'd ever be able to do that ever again. It was too depressing and tonight was supposed to be fun.

Severus bit back a groan as he felt her thoughts and tried to stop himself reaching out into the darkness to try to hold a Hermione that wasn't really there.

Harry and Draco were finally coming up for air and Hermione's eyes widened as she watched her friend take a dazed step back from Draco. His eyes were glazed and his lips were swollen and it was so something she hadn't needed to see. Ever.

"No wonder neither of us managed to snag him long term," Cho whispered to Ginny a little too loudly. "He's been harboring secret feelings for Malfoy all this time."

"He bloody well hasn't!" defended Ron, refusing to look even vaguely in Harry's direction. "Can we get on with the game, please!"

"Yeah, I don't think Hermione has done anything yet," Harry added helpfully, finally finding his voice.

Hermione shot Harry a glare and he shrugged apologetically. Anything to keep the attention off him and safely on someone else.

Draco gets to choose my truth or dare? He'll probably dare me to become a Death Eater, or sacrifice myself to Voldemort or something.

_You are overestimating his intelligence,_ Severus said dryly. _And underestimating your own. I'd stick with a truth if I were you, Hermione. At least you can talk your way out of that._

"Fine," Hermione said out loud. "Truth."

Draco looked disappointed for a moment, before his face lit up as a question came to him. He eyed her gleefully, his embarrassment at having kissed Harry temporarily forgotten in his bid to make Hermione squirm.

"So Miss whiter-than-white Granger," Draco said, his voice full of glee. "Tell us about _your_ first time."

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Thank you once again for my lovely reviews – they totally make my day. :o) :o) :o)

If anyone wants to flame me for the Harry/Draco kiss, blame Shinohime, not me ;o)


	30. Chapter 30

"My first time?" Hermione said, her voice mocking. "You'll have to be a little more specific – I've had a lot of first. Would you like to hear about my first essay, my first game of tennis, my first…"

"Tennis?" interrupted Ron. "What's that?"

"You ever seen that poster of the girl with a racket, scratching her arse?" Ginny supplied for him. "She plays tennis."

"Oh, tennis…" Ron said, a smile lighting up his face as he clearly remembered the picture.

"The first time you had sex!" Malfoy growled impatiently.

"She hasn't had sex," Ron said, his face defiant. "You'll have to think of a different question."

_Oh God._

_Hermione, did you and Weasley never…?_

_No._ Hermione closed her eyes in misery. Bloody Draco Malfoy. She was going to get him back for this if it was the last thing she did. He was going to _suffer._

_So who was your first? _Severus asked, not fully understanding the horror he was sensing from Hermione. _Just give them a brief account. I know it's embarrassing talking about it without the comfort of copious amounts of alcohol like the rest of them had, but surely it's much better than you expected?_

"She's had sex," Draco said, nodding in Hermione's direction. "Just look at her face."

Ron eyed Hermione, who was sitting cross-legged in her chair, her face a picture of misery.

"Mione?" he asked, his eyes widening. Six months he'd tried to get her into bed. Six months of taking things slowly with her, knowing she'd never done anything much before…

"Not Harry?" he asked, shooting a quick look at Harry, who was cringing on Hermione's behalf. Harry had worked out almost immediately what she would end up having to describe to the people in the room and was torn between utter sympathy and the urge to run screaming before he had to hear what Snape had been like in bed.

"No, not Harry," Hermione answered. She felt a mental sigh of relief from Severus and made a note of it. He really did think she and Harry had been up to something and she needed to convince him that they really, really hadn't.

"So who then?" Neville asked from his seat, ignoring Hannah's quelling look. He was as curious as the rest of them, especially as Hermione was looking so much like she just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

"That wasn't the question, was it?" Harry said, coming to Hermione's defence. Whatever curse was on the parchment they had signed, the whole school would find out about it if Hermione confessed to having had sex with Professor Snape. Everyone in the school would know by sunrise, and everyone in the Wizarding world would know by sundown.

Hermione herself was looking too horror-struck to help herself and Harry cringed for her. "She only has to describe it, not say who it was with," he said again, sending everyone in the room a warning look. He was feeling especially protective of Hermione at the moment, even if she still hadn't bloody said whether she was going to marry him or not.

"You sure it wasn't you, Harry?" Neville asked, suspiciously.

"Shush," Hannah said, digging Neville hard in the ribs with her elbow. "She doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to."

"I think I'd remember," Harry muttered.

"Yes she bloody well does have to answer," Ron said, his face set. He didn't want to know, but at the same time, he had to know.

"Fine," Draco said impatiently. "Describe it then, before I go old and grey sitting here waiting."

"I'll be too old to be capable of enjoying it soon," he muttered, ignoring Ron's glowers.

Hermione took a deep breath.

_Would you like me to try to block you out while you do this? _Severus asked. Apparently Hermione was more shy than he had thought.

"He was upset about something," Hermione started, not answering Severus. He'd figure it out on his own. "I started out comforting him, but then it turned into something else. It was… amazing."

_Hermione…? _Severus' tone was questioning. She couldn't seriously mean he had been her first?

"That's not a lot of detail," Cho pointed out. "Be fair Hermione – we've had to do some ridiculous things. This is barely embarrassing at all."

_It is when the person you're talking about is in your head,_ Hermione thought, unable to help herself. Then she cringed as she felt Severus start blocking his thoughts from her.

"You want exact details?" Hermione said, her eyes narrowing as she held Cho's gaze. "You want to know how many times he made me come? How he asked me to open my eyes so I could look into his as he fucked me? How he whimpered when I bit his neck? How…"

"Alright Mione, I think you've answered Malfoy's question," Ron said, his face pale. He looked at Hermione, his eyes wide.

"Did you love him?" The question seemed to come out of his mouth of it's own accord, and he cringed as he asked it.

"That's a separate question," Hannah pointed out, quietly.

"At the time?" Hermione asked, not taking her eyes from his. "No, I didn't know him well enough to love him."

Hermione felt Severus try to raise the barriers between them completely. She felt him try to block out any hurt he felt from her admission as he mentally backed away from her.

"You slept with another bloke and you didn't even love him?" Ron got to his feet unsteadily. "Why not me?"

"I love him now," Hermione said, her voice still quiet. "So much it hurts."

She could feel Severus closing his eyes as if in pain; even feel the quick indrawn breath at her words.

"I'm so sorry, Ron," Hermione said, her voice soft. She hated seeing Ron like this and had to resist the urge to go over and wrap her arms around him. "I was happy with you, really I was. You're an amazing bloke, it's just…"

She closed her eyes as her voice trailed off. _It's just that you're not Severus._

"Not really your fault you didn't love me, is it?" Ron asked, with a shaky smile. He looked at the door as if he was contemplating running through it and far away from Hermione.

"God, you lot really know how to bring down a party," Draco muttered. Then he got to his feet. "Let's have a bit of a time out."

He opened the door to Hermione's bedroom and took hold of Ron's arm on the way, pulling him through the door and into a chair in there in one swift movement.

"Potter, Longbottom, in here," Draco ordered. "Not that I give a damn about you really Weasley, but I'd like to get back to the drinking and we can't until you're sorted out."

"It's alright Malfoy," Harry said, shooting Draco a half smile as he walked past him into Hermione's bedroom. "We won't tell anyone you've gone soft."

"Shut it, Potter," Draco snarled, but his heart wasn't in it. As he pulled the door closed behind him, he sent a wink to Hermione, who smiled in return.

_Not a bad actor, is he? _She pointed out to Severus, her voice nervous, betraying how on edge she was. She had realised Severus hadn't been aware of her virginity from the start – he had naturally presumed that given her relationship with Ron that she was already having sex. Or maybe he just hadn't thought about it. Either way, Hermione hadn't wanted to make an issue of it - it made her feel young. Most of the other girls she knew were sleeping around by the time they hit fifteen, and many of her 'friends' had knocked her for clinging to her virginity.

"I haven't met the right one yet," she'd told them, and had cringed at the chorus of giggles she'd received, as they laughed at her naivety.

It wasn't entirely true though, she admitted to herself. It was more that she'd just never wanted to before. Making out had always been more something she'd thought she should do. Except now when she thought of touching Severus she ached inside.

So she'd been a virgin when they had slept together – it wasn't a big deal. Except she could tell by the way Severus was guarding his thoughts that it was a big deal to him. Was he just realising how young she really was? Was he regretting sleeping with her all over again?

_Why didn't you tell me?_ He finally asked, his voice not betraying how he was feeling.

_What difference would it have made? _Hermione asked. _Would you not have done it, if you'd known?_

_No, I probably wouldn't have if I had been more aware of what I was doing,_ Severus admitted.

He felt the stab of pain go through Hermione at what she seemed to think was him rejecting her. God, when had things got so complicated?

_Your first time is meant to be special,_ Severus said, trying to remember if he'd been even slightly gentle with her. _And it is meant to be with someone you care about._

_Do we need to talk about this? _Hermione was oblivious of the quiet conversation going on between her female friends, she just wanted to curl up and hide. _We already know you regret what happened, do we have to keep talking about it?_

_I don't regret what happened Hermione,_ Severus said, taking his barriers down purposely, so she could feel his sincerity. He really hoped she appreciated how difficult this was for him. _I regret the trouble it has caused you._

He paused, taking in the feeling of depression and despair that had come over her. He wanted to hold her; hold her and kiss her and tell her that it was ridiculous being this upset over someone like him.

Hermione, I wanted you that day, don't ever doubt that. I wanted you then and I still want you now. That doesn't change the fact that your first time should never have been with someone like me – it should have been someone like your precious Potter. However undeserving I think he would have been, he would have been a damn sight more deserving than me.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Cho asked, ignoring Ginny's pointed glower. "You look really weird."

"Leave her alone for a bit," Ginny said, chucking a bar of chocolate to Cho. "Here, try this and tell me whether you think it's nicer than the other one."

_Bless that girl, _Hermione thought with a half smile. _Ginny always knows when to give me space._

Then she turned her thoughts back to Severus, ignoring the girls completely. She could deal with them later. Right now, she had to process the fact that Severus had just admitted the fact that he had definitely wanted her. Still wanted her, apparently.

_You want me?_ Hermione asked.

That isn't relevant. We are talking about the fact that your first time should have been something special. The one and only time you had sex shouldn't have been with me, or have resulted in a baby. That is more than unlucky.

Hermione closed her eyes and used everything she had to try to feel what Severus was feeling.

_You don't think it's unlucky,_ she thought to him quietly. _I can feel it. Part of you is desperate to hold this baby in your arms._

_I said it was unlucky for **you**, not necessarily for me_

Severus, you have no idea what I really feel about anything, and you're in my head. You seem to be blind to the fact that I could actually give a damn about you.

_I don't want to hope, Hermione,_ Severus finally confessed, suddenly feeling exhausted. _I am not going to get out of here, and if I have something to live for then I have something to lose when they kill me._

_I am going to get you out of there,_ Hermione vowed, tears filling her eyes. _And then I am going to make you see how much I care and how much you're worth._

_Don't turn me into one of your causes. I'm not a sodding House Elf – I don't need you to rally for me. And besides, it won't work._

Hermione had a brief image of Severus wearing hundreds of pairs of brightly coloured socks pinned all over his usual all-black attire. The image started hitting itself on its head with a lamp maniacally and purposefully in a beautiful imitation of Dobby.

_Just give me a chance to get you out, _she asked, shaking the image out of her head before Severus could find it and find a way to kill her for it. His exhaustion was spreading to her and making her want to curl up and sleep, except she couldn't because there were three men in her room comforting her ex boyfriend. She was quite sure that her walking into her bedroom, stripping off and climbing _into_ bed with all of them there, wouldn't help matters.

_You're defeating me before I even try, _Hermione said, her voice almost pleading. _Just let me try to help you. I want this baby to have a father._

_Don't make me feel like this, Hermione. _Severus buried his head in his hands.

_You don't want to feel at all,_ she said quietly. _And I understand that. I won't make you talk to me about this until you're safely back at Hogwarts._

Severus smiled at the idea that Hermione thought she could make him talk to her. Except he realised that Hermione was probably one of only two people in the world who really could make him do anything. Hermione and Albus, although he was sure Albus had that effect on him for very different reasons.

_Oh God, I can't possibly have fallen in love with her?_ he groaned, frantically subduing the thought before Hermione could hear it. _Oh God._

_I'm going to block you out for a bit and see if I can sleep,_ Severus told Hermione, feeling how determined she was, but also how exhausted and depressed. He sighed, realising that this was his fault again, somehow. He had promised her a stress-free, normal night, and he had ruined it for her, along with bloody Malfoy and Weasley.

_Hermione?_

_Yeah._ She was leaning back against the cushions on her chair and her eyes were closing as she drifted off to sleep, despite the fact that her friends were still in the room. She could apologise to them later, she decided.

_If I do get away from here, _he said, his voice deep and husky with emotion, _and you still want me…_

_I'll still want you, _Hermione confirmed with a small smile.

If you do, then I will make up for that first time not being perfect. I'll show you what it should have been like. I will make you come apart in my arms and beg for more.

_It **was** perfect, _Hermione thought to him, sleepily. _But I'll hold you to that anyway._

_See that you do,_ Severus whispered as he felt her losing consciousness.

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I think I deserve extra specially lovely reviews for updating so quickly ;o)

I'm writing the next chapter as I'm posting, so won't be long. x


	31. Chapter 31

When Hermione awoke, she was disgruntled to find her living room still full of people. Someone had transfigured all the chairs in the room into mattresses, including the chair she had been sitting in. She sat up and admired the handiwork of the mattress underneath her.

_Not bad, _she thought, bouncing a little to see how soft it was. _Definitely wasn't Ron or Harry who did that._

She looked around the room at her friends. Someone had found her DVD player (presumably Harry, as he was the one most likely to know how to work one), and they had found Hermione's horror film collection. The Exorcist was now playing on her transfigured television set, which was now about five times larger than it had been earlier in the day.

"Looks like a perfectly normal case of possession to me," Draco was saying as he watched the film from his mattress on the floor. "No need for all that fuss – all they have to do is bore the demon out of her. It'd only take a day or two. They're giving it far too much attention and that's what it wants."

"You're supposed to be creeped out and scared by it," Harry reminded him. "That's the whole point of these kinds of films – to scare you witless."

"Pah," Malfoy said, dismissively.

"Although admittedly it wouldn't take much to scare you witless," Harry said with a grin.

"You must have watched it a few hundred times, judging by the state of your wit," Draco said, his eyes still on the screen.

"Shut it, or I won't share my popcorn," Harry said, shaking the box of popcorn he'd somehow managed to get hold of from somewhere.

"It's my bloody popcorn anyway," Ginny said, reaching over to grab a handful, spilling half of it on the floor as she did. "Be nice, or I'll give it all to Malfoy."

"See, she's nice to me," Draco pointed out, looking away from the film for a tenth of a second to flash Harry a cheeky grin, before gluing his eyes back to the screen. "Fantastic invention these VDs."

_Good natured teasing? Am I still dreaming?_

_Afraid not, _Severus' voice_. They've been like this ever since their 'boy talk' with Ron in the other room. Sort of… friendly. It's unnerving._

_You could hear them while I was asleep?_ That was just weird.

_Unfortunately, yes._ Actually, he had found it vaguely interesting listening to their inane conversations and silly arguments. He'd never had that growing up and still didn't have it now. He had friends, of course. Minerva, Albus, Poppy, Filius – they all counted as friends and they all took his bad moods with a pinch of salt, sometimes even a gallon of salt. But he'd never been able to open himself up to them properly.

Maybe that was what he found so alluring about Hermione? He actually _wanted_ to open up to her. He wanted to let her in, he just wasn't sure how.

_Do you know who transfigured my chair and covered me with this blanket?_ she asked, indicating to the thick, soft blue blanket that had been tucked around her. _And this pillow?_

_It was the combined effort of Potter and Weasley, I think, _Severus told her. _I think Ginevra was responsible for the transfigurations. I couldn't see them, as your eyes were obviously shut, but they all have very distinctive voices, especially when screeching in terror as Weasley was doing not so long ago. If you are wondering why your Arachnophobia DVD is in the hallway, I won't point fingers, but I will say that Weasley has an impressively girly scream._

Hermione laughed, making the rest of the people in the room jump.

"That was a creepy laugh, Mione," Ron informed her, looking at her like he expected her head to spin around 360 degrees. "You were meant to be asleep."

"I thought I made you promise not to let him watch any more Muggle films, Harry?" Hermione said, stretching. "He's going to start exorcising random people in the hallways after watching this."

Ron pulled a face at her, then grinned and Hermione wondered what had been said to sort everything out. Ron seemed a lot happier now and everything was so much more relaxed. It was hard to believe that it could all be down to Draco.

_Do you ever watch Muggle films?_ Hermione asked Severus, getting up to go to the toilet, something which she had had to do a lot more this last week or so.

_I did as a child, _Severus told her, smiling at the memory. _My grandmother would put them on for my sister and I whenever we visited. She was a Muggle, although my father was never allowed to know about her. He was very Slytherin in his ideas about heritage._

_Want to watch a film with me when you're back at Hogwarts? _Hermione asked. _Something nice and safe and normal to look forward to?_

_Normal for you, I haven't seen one in a while. Unless you count those times Albus has had to practically put me in a bodybind to make me sit and watch his rubbish with him. But it might be nice – just don't offer me any lemon drops._

He had given up telling Hermione that there was no way to save him, it was much less depressing to just play along.

Hermione pushed open the bathroom door and almost walked headlong into Ginny.

"Hermione, can I talk to you?"

"The bedroom?" Hermione asked. At Ginny's nod, she led Ginny into her bedroom and shut the door. "I need to find some pyjamas to sleep in anyway. Need a pair?"

"Nah, got my own," Ginny said, opening her dressing gown to show Hermione her incredibly small, low-cut nightie.

"Bloody hell," Hermione exclaimed. "I'm sure that should be illegal. Hey, you shaved your legs!"

Ginny pulled a face. "I finally bothered to learn the charm," she admitted. "Took bloody ages."

_I most definitely shouldn't be seeing this, _Severus said, trying valiantly to block the image from his mind. _Is there any way you can get the damned girl to cover up?_

Ginny wrapped the dressing gown back around herself before Hermione had time to think of some ingenious way of covering her up. She tried not to be amused at the horror in Severus' voice at having seen Ginny barely clothed.

_You should have been in my head last time I stayed at the Weasley's, _she told him with a grin. _Half the family seem to walk around in their underwear._

_I don't need the image of Arthur Weasley in his underwear to add to my already quite full and vivid nightmares,_ Severus said, shuddering.

_I was thinking more of the kids, _Hermione said, pulling a face at the idea of either Molly or Arthur Weasley naked.

_My nightmares are complete,_ Severus said dryly.

"Ron saw me in this and almost had a heart attack," Ginny said with a grin. "He covered his face and kept screaming, 'my eyes, they buuuurn!'"

Hermione grabbed her least sexy pyjamas out of her cupboard. It wasn't really hard choosing a non-sexy pair, as they were all pairs her mother had bought her a couple of years earlier. Her mother thought ankle-length skirts and polo neck shirts were racy.

Severus saw Ron's point on that matter. He had actually witnessed the birth of the youngest Weasley – a matter which he had refused to discuss and would never admit to if anyone ever asked. Molly had been visiting the school when she had gone into premature labour, and after Severus had brewed enough safe painkilling potions to calm her, she had refused to let go of his hand until her baby had been safely in her arms and her husband was finally at her side.

She had been embarrassingly grateful to Severus and he had almost been tempted to perform a memory charm to erase her memory of his helping her, just so she would stop thanking him.

Anyway, after seeing Ginny being born, he really didn't think he should be seeing her in that clothing. She might only be a year or so younger than Hermione, who he definitely would like to see dressed like that, but she was infinitely younger in attitude.

"What's wrong, Gin?" Hermione asked, getting undressed with her back to her friend. She didn't look much different, but she wasn't taking the chance of Ginny noticing. Not just yet, when everything was so up in the air and she didn't have any answers to give her friend when she asked the predictable six hundred questions.

"I was curious," she answered, sitting on Hermione's bed as she watched her change. "The person you said you slept with? Who on earth was it? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't something I really felt like talking about," Hermione lied. She _had_ wanted to talk about it, but hadn't felt like she could really talk to anyone. It had taken her long enough to finally admit everything to Harry, and he was pretty much her best friend.

"You said you love the bloke," Ginny said, looking perplexed. "So why aren't you with him? Doesn't he love you?"

Hermione did her very best to clear her mind before the thoughts, '_probably not'_ could get to Severus. She didn't want him feeling like he had to act in any particular way with her. She didn't want him feeling sorry for her and reassuring her.

_Not that he's the kind of person to do that anyway,_ she thought, realising he was more likely to mock her than feel sorry for her. The thought was strangely comforting.

_Get rid of the charm, if you want to talk to the girl,_ Severus said, groaning inwardly. He hated being the talked about and teenage girls were the worst.

_I'm technically twenty, you know,_ Hermione reminded him. _Well, around twenty anyway. And if you keep thinking of me as a bloody child, I will find a way to make you see that I am most definitely not one._

_Is that a promise, or a threat, Miss Granger? _he asked, his voice soft as a shiver of awareness went through his body at her words.

_A bit of both, _Hermione answered, smiling.

"You didn't tell me about you and Harry," Hermione pointed out to her friend, who was looking a little hurt.

"No, but he asked me not to," Ginny said. "I didn't want him finding out I'd said anything in case he refused to see me again. Besides, he was with Cho until not that long ago, even if they weren't sleeping together. I didn't realise that when he finished with her, he'd finish what we had a couple of weeks later."

"I don't know what's wrong with that boy," Hermione said, shaking her head. She was dreading having to talk to him about his completely insane marriage proposal. She was also going to have to tell him that Severus was still alive at some point.

"I thought he had a thing about you," Ginny admitted, sending Hermione a half guilty smile. "But did you see that kiss between him and Malfoy?"

"I saw," Hermione admitted, trying not to replay it in her mind again. Once had been enough. "It was a dare though – you know what Harry's like about not backing out of things like that. I suppose Malfoy's the same."

"Well I definitely sensed something there," Ginny said resolutely. "Just like I can tell there's something big going on with you that you're not telling me."

Hermione sat on the bed next to her friend and put her arm around her.

"You're one of my very favourite people, Gin," she said, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I'd trust you with my life. My chocolate, maybe not, but my life, yes."

Ginny giggled and Hermione lay back on the bed, looking at the stone ceiling as she talked.

"There has been so much going on that I don't know where I would even start. When I've got it all sorted out in my head and I feel I can talk, I'll tell you, I promise."

"I know, Hermione," Ginny said, lying back on the bed next to her. "I just hate seeing you so stressed out, and I really don't know how I can help."

"You could always tell me who this bloke is that everyone keeps telling me you're seeing? Everyone knows you're seeing someone, but they have no idea who it is."

I am being subjected to a 'girlie talk'? Do you have any idea how many cauldrons you are going to scrub if I do get out of this cell?

_Your threats are losing their effect on me, _Hermione informed him with an inner grin. _You'll have to try harder._

_Don't tempt me, _he thought back to her, trying not to let her see that he was amused. He really should be sleeping – he was going to be woken up soon, to make more bloody healing potions. He wondered what the reaction would be when the Death Eaters finally sampled the Healing Potions he'd made. He winced.

_What did you do to the potions, Severus? _Hermione asked, her brow wrinkling as she tried to work out what he could possibly have done to the potions that wouldn't be noticed before they were taken. Surely they would be tested on someone before they were used properly?

_I have put essence of burlap in them all, mixed with a little ginger and some crushed poppy seeds. _His voice was smug as Hermione tried to remember what those ingredients would do.

The ginger works as a time-release ingredient in most potions, doesn't it? So you've put something in that is going to start working in three weeks? Hermione was so lost in concentration that she barely noticed Ginny staring at her.

_Ten points to Gryffindor. Now tell me what the poppy seeds and the essence of burlap would add to the healing potions._

Poppies are used in sleeping draughts…Hang on, you're knocking them out? They take the potions on the battlefield and then lie there unconscious until one of our lot finds them?

Well done Hermione. Yes. I've also added a few drops of Newt Semen to every batch.

Hermione laughed out loud, then shot an apologetic look at Ginny.

"Sorry… erm… I was laughing at the memory of Harry in that Shirley Bassey dress," she lied, badly.

They'll be impotent? Severus, you are incredible.

_Remember that next time you get the urge to insult me. _He smiled. He had been quite pleased that he'd managed to add the ingredients to every batch of healing draught, under the watchful eye of that bloody moron they'd left to guard him.

I'm hoping Lucius Malfoy has an especially large dose.

"Who are you talking to, Mione?" Ginny asked, looking at Hermione with eyes that in Hermione's opinion, saw far too much.

"You?" Hermione asked dryly.

"Who've you got in your head? You've not been yourself today – sort of like you've been too busy having talks with yourself to talk to the rest of us."

_She's got more intelligence than her brother, I've got to give her that, _Severus observed, wondering idly how Hermione was going to get out of this one.

"Ginny…" Hermione started, her eyes pleading.

"It's alright," the younger girl interrupted. "You don't have to tell me. I just hope he makes you happy."

Happy isn't quite the right word for it… 

_You do realise I am still here and can still hear you? _Severus's sarcastic voice rang in her head.

Hermione sent him a vaguely apologetic thought, before sitting up to hug her friend.

"Come on, let's get back to the green vomit and spinning heads," she said, pulling Ginny to her feet and dragging her back into the other room.

"And that's just if they've been fighting cleanly," Ginny said, with a grin.

xxx

By the time the film had ended, most people in the room had fallen asleep. Ginny was sharing Hermione's mattress, having insisted that Hermione needed comforting through the scary parts. Because having Ginny clinging to her arm at every scary scene, occasionally screeching and hiding her head in her shoulder had been hugely comforting for Hermione.

_At least I didn't really notice the scary bits, _she thought. _I was too busy trying to dig Ginny's nails out of my arm._

Harry, Hermione and Ginny were the only people left awake. Hermione was loath to look at the time, but she was pretty sure it would be getting light out soon. Winter had really started to set in and the snow had started to fall, making the view from Hermione's window spectacular in the early morning sunlight. She wondered if it was worth staying up to see it.

Severus bit back the urge to lecture Hermione on her sleeping habits. She was pregnant and should be resting as much as she could, except Hermione seemed to barely register the fact that anything was different. If he did get out of the Malfoy dungeon in one piece, he was going to make sure Hermione looked after herself properly.

Harry looked nervously at Ginny, who was quite obviously waiting for Hermione to fall asleep so she could get Harry alone.

"So, Mione, fancy a walk?" Harry said, cringing slightly at the hurt look on Ginny's face.

"Now?" Hermione asked, not wanting to hurt Ginny any more than she had already been by Harry rejecting her in the first place.

"You know, to talk about Ron?"

"If you're talking about my brother, I don't see why I can't be there," Ginny said. Then she sighed. "It's alright, you can talk here – I'll go to sleep. I'm exhausted anyway."

Hermione reached out and squeezed her friend's shoulder as she gave Harry a sad look and grabbed her sleeping bag. She went over to her own mattress and turned on her side, keeping her back to Hermione and Harry.

Hermione quickly cast a sound bubble around her mattress and pulled Harry onto it.

"That was bloody insensitive," Hermione snapped. "She really likes you."

"And I told her it was over," Harry said, sighing. "Look, Mione, you still haven't answered me. I'm not going to bed another night not knowing."

"This is ridiculous, Harry," Hermione said through clenched teeth, as if somehow Severus wouldn't be able to hear her if she did that. "You know that the answer is going to be no."

"Why? It would solve everything. You'd have security and I'd have a family. It would work for both of us."

_I don't think I should be listening to this, Hermione, _Severus said, gently. He had tried blocking it from his mind, but couldn't. He wasn't sure if it was the charm getting stronger, or the fact that some part of him did want to know what was going on, but either way Hermione deserved some privacy.

Stop trying to get away from me.

"You don't love me, Harry. And I don't love you, not in that way," Hermione told him, putting her hand against his cheek. "You're a sweetheart for wanting to do this, but you know it's not what you really want. Don't you want to fall madly in love with someone and then one day marry _them_? Think what you'd miss out on if I accepted."

_He asked you to marry him? _Severus asked, a stab of jealousy going through him before he could dampen it down.

_Yes, _Hermione answered, mentally reaching out to touch Severus. She wanted to hold him and reassure him.

_You should accept, Hermione,_ Severus said, hating what he was saying, but knowing that he was right.

What? 

_He loves you. He's decent enough, despite his giant ego and the fact that he takes after his father in far too many ways. He would look after you, probably better than I ever could._

_Are you offering to? _Hermione asked, tentatively.

_I can't offer you anything, _Severus said, trying not to snap at her. _I probably won't get out of here, and even if I did, do you really think I would be easy to live with; have a relationship with? Is that even what you want?_

_I don't need looking after by anyone. It's not either choose you or Harry and that's it. I'd be fine on my own, _she said defensively.

I don't want you to have to do this alone.

I won't be alone. I don't have to marry Harry so as not to be alone! 

"Who are you talking to?" Harry was watching Hermione with that same puzzled look Ginny had been giving her earlier.

"Severus," Hermione said, enjoying the look of shock on Harry's face. "He's telling me that I should marry you. I'm telling him that plenty of women are single parents and they cope just fine. I don't need him, or you."

She got to her feet and glared at Harry. She walked over to her bedroom door and put her hand on the handle, getting ready to leave the room and shut herself in, far away from Harry.

"Hang on, Hermione. Why are you so angry with me?" Harry said, getting to his feet and following her. He wisely decided it was safer to save the questions about Snape being in Hermione's head for later.

"I'm not angry with you, Harry," she said, turning to look at him properly. "I'm angry with life, for being so fucking unfair."

She took a deep breath, fighting back the tears. "I just wanted to have a normal life. You know, finish my NEWTs, go to Wizarding University, fall in love, get married, have a baby or two. Why did it all have to be so backwards?"

Hermione let go of the door and started pacing the room. Severus fought the urge to try to calm her down, knowing it was better that she finally got all this out before it all ate her alive.

"Now I'm in love with a bloke who is going to die on me, and I have no idea how to fix that. And if he at least loved me back it would be a little better, except he wants me to marry _you. _And you know you don't really want to marry me, Harry. You just want to protect me, which is lovely, it really is. And you'll make a great Godfather to the baby, really you will. But it has a father and I want its father to live."

"Hermione…" Harry said, his tone warning.

"And on top of having to go through this pregnancy alone, I've got bloody Draco Malfoy trying to kill me at every turn. I keep nearly dying, but not quite doing it. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier if I just gave in and let him take me to Voldemort."

"Hermione," Harry hissed, his fingers digging painfully into her shoulder as he forced her to stop pacing the room. "Shut up."

Hermione fixed Harry with a hurt look, reaching up to angrily swipe away the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks.

"Thanks Harry, that's really helpful of you," Hermione said, her tone matching the hurt look in her eyes.

No Hermione, I think Harry is trying to tell you that… 

"Oh for fuck sake, you shut up too!" Hermione snapped. That was it. She was giving up. She couldn't cope with this anymore. She fell to her knees and sobbed, burying her head in her hands as the tears dripped through her fingers.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me, Harry!"

A hand grasped her chin and forced her head up. A pair of silver-grey eyes met her dark brown ones.

"Oh God," Hermione gasped, frozen as she took in the unreadable face of Draco Malfoy as he bent over her, staring into her eyes with an intense look.

"I think we need to talk," he said, his eyes not leaving hers.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I quite like doing the evil cliffhanger thing. You might have noticed ;o)

Now I'm going to do the replying to reviews thing, which I don't do very often cos I always end up forgetting someone and feeling guilty. 

Tainted Elf: Okay, so you haven't reviewed yet, but you always give me lovely reviews, so I'm thanking you in advance ;o)

Thamara: You're very, very welcome ;o)

Kairos Devan: E-mail if you want me to start e-mailing you when I update. And thank you for the great review :o)

SycoCallie: I love your reviews :o) I hope everything gets better soon. If you want someone to talk to, I'm around a lot at the moment. It's sometimes easier to talk to people you don't really know. x

Luna87:o) I'm not sure about putting Harry and Ginny together, I kinda like the Draco and Harry thing now I've started it. I promise I'll find someone to make Ginny happy though ;o)

MeandmySharpie: I have a bit of a cliffhanger addiction…

PadfootsLuvr: Ooh! A cookie _and_ fudge. :o) Hmm. Now you've made me hungry. :oD

Gundamwinggirl:o) Thank you. I promise I'm a happy ending sort of a person. Eventually anyway. Mind you, the word happy is subjective, so don't relax too much ;o) And thank you for the other review too – will add some fluffy bits soon. x

Lovernotafighter: Lol. I may adopt the phrase 'jumping Jesus' :oD And to the other review: You're _so_ lovely :o)

Freewomble: Wouldn't want you exploding. Could be very messy ;o)

Zafr0: I have no idea yet. You'll find out when I do. I never know what I'm going to do until I've actually typed it. Then I usually read it over and wonder what on earth I did that for ;o)

Amr: Ah, thanks for reminding me. I'd forgotten Severus didn't know about what kind of charm it was. Much appreciated. :o)

Vodkatears and Elandria: Thank you :o) I'm replying to you both together because I thought that you two could probably room together in the mental hospital when your co-workers and friends lock you both up for laughing at the computer ;o)

Nicole: Congratulations on the baby :o) My little girl is fifteen months now and I remember being all pregnant and desperate for it all to be over so I could see the creature that made me so bloody uncomfortable and finally hold her. And maybe lecture her for all the kicking when I had been trying to sleep. Erm… anyway, I hope everything goes well :o)

Nyxx: Have you noticed that the blokes in gay porn are always so much better looking than the blokes in straight porn? Do you think it's so that the blokes watching the straight porn don't feel hideous in comparison? x

Arianrhood: I get fudge, cookies _and_ cake :o) I really should update more often ;o) I find the Draco/Harry paring strangely intriguing, so I probably will play with that a little. Thank you for the lovely review :o)

M4ever: Thank you for the reviews :o) I've been really blocked with my writing lately and it took a while for me to get unblocked and back into it. Wasn't happy enough to write for a while, or when I did it got hugely depressing so I had to delete it. I think I'm back on track again, so I'll be updating more frequently. :o) x

Drunken Goddess: Thank you :o) And thank you for setting 'DRACOSBALLDUSTER' on fire – it was much appreciated ;o)

Neko Blah Blah: I'm going to go over the story once it's finished and sort out all the inconsistencies and grammar/spelling mistakes I've managed to miss. Will have a look at that bit then. :o)

Silver Shiver, Tori, Lywinis, Miss Serena B, Monkeyhotdogs, Nan, Leosqueen, Anarane Anwamane, Raclswt, Vigdis, TaraSimi, and anyone else who I managed to miss, thank you :o) Lots :o)

Whispers 

June: Thank you for always being the very first to review :o) I'm stealing one of your ideas for later in the story btw. I hope you don't mind ;o)

Christy: Thank you :o)

Kori Black: Oooh :o) I like long reviews. I'll keep an eye out for the 'gender-bending' thing in future – I hadn't noticed I did it. If you write something, let me know :o)

And thank you to all the people who reviewed before, who I didn't reply to. You're all so nice. 

Sphinx: Can I marry you? ;o)

Yamihikari: Thank you :o) If you e-mail me so I've got your e-mail address, I'll e-mail you when I update. X

Eloradanin: Thank you :o) _sends you a big hug for your review_ (I promise something will happen soon)

Lovethelab: Two reviews :o) I feel all special ;o)

Torniquette:oD _hides under desk_ No throttling the author – that's just mean!

Lunamoon: See? You and Torniquette scared me into updating ;o)

SpiritofLupin:o) :o) You're so nice! You'll find out soon ;o)

Semperputus: I like Ron – he always gets such a hard time, just because people want him nicely out of the way so Hermione and Severus can be all happy together without feeling bad. I promise I won't make him too sulky ;o)

Chevybaby: _drools with you_ ;o)

And thank you to NobisSolomNon, Alexsandra, Innogen, Nique, 'Anon', Yulia, NobisSolomNon, Anijade and cc for the lovely reviews too. And all the people I didn't reply to before. x

I think that's it. :oD _wipes brow_ Now that took longer than writing the chapter. I bet if I check now, I've got more reviews that have appeared since I started writing this :oD _waves guiltily to the people she might have missed_


	32. Chapter 32

_How much did he hear? _Hermione asked Severus, still frozen in her position on the floor.

"You tried to kill Hermione?" Harry asked Draco, his tone bewildered. "When? How?"

Draco straightened up. "I didn't _try_ to kill her," he said, looking as lost as Hermione was feeling. "I didn't know what would happen when I put the spell on her. It wasn't supposed to nearly _kill_ her. I don't know what my father was thinking."

I don't know what he heard – he was asleep when you and Potter started your conversation. I think he heard enough.

_Now what do I do? _she asked helplessly. Sooner or later Draco was going to ask how she knew he was after her and the minute Draco told his father, Severus was a dead man. Even if Lucius didn't kill Severus right away, he would be in for a pretty thorough beating and would definitely pay later.

_Stop worrying about me, _Severus told her. Hermione's thoughts were jumbled and frantic and were starting to give him a headache. _I was never going to get out of here alive, Hermione. Do whatever you have to do._

Harry reached down to help Hermione up, his eyes still on Draco.

"I think we need to go somewhere more private," Harry said, nodding to the rest of the people in the room who somehow had stayed asleep, or were at least pretending to be asleep through all the shouting.

Hermione nodded and walked into her bedroom. She waited for Draco and Harry to come in before closing the door, warding it and casting a silencing charm on it.

_God, I'm so sorry, _she whispered to Severus. _I wasn't thinking. I am **so** sorry._

It's all right. Talk t Draco. I'll be here for you when you've finished. Whatever happens, you couldn't have changed what would happen to me, Hermione. Understand that. This is not your fault.

Severus let his head drop into his hands and groaned. It was make or break time now – Draco had finally found out that Hermione knew what he was up to and now all Hermione could do was either talk Draco out of carrying out his plan, or she would have to make a bloody quick getaway, before Draco could try anything sudden – because as soon as he realised how screwed he really was, he was going to do something extreme.

_Don't let down your guard, whatever you do, _he warned her, feeling helpless. _He's going to be pretty desperate now that he knows that you know._

I wish you were here.

_So do I, _Severus said quietly.

_I won't let him find out it was you, _Hermione promised. _I won't let you get hurt because I wasn't thinking. I'll think of something to tell him._

"How did you find out?" Draco asked, dropping into one of Hermione's chairs and putting his head in his hands, unknowingly mimicking Severus. "I don't understand."

"Will someone fill me in here?" Harry asked, taking Hermione by the shoulders and forcing her to sit down. "All that pacing is making me feel dizzy," he told her.

"Malfoy has decided to join Voldemort's little club," Hermione said, her voice tired. "And has to hand me in to become a member, or die a painful death. That's about the sum of it."

"You were going to kill give Hermione to Voldemort to save your own pathetic arse?" Harry asked incredulously. "Just when I'd started to think you weren't all bad."

Draco cringed. "Look, I got carried away. And we'd never really got on before. Bringing him 'Harry Potter's best friend' would have given me an early advantage – it was father's idea. How did you know what I was doing, Granger?"

Hermione thought fast, biting her lip as she did. When she finally spoke her voice came out surprisingly strong and confident. Even she would have believed herself.

"I'm not stupid, Malfoy," Hermione said. "I know what Death Eaters have to do to become initiated. When horrible things started happening to me, I figured I'd been chosen. It didn't take much to work out who I'd been chosen by."

_You lie like a Slytherin, _Severus informed her, feeling strangely proud of her.

_I'll take that as a compliment, _she said with a small inward smile.

It was meant as one.

"I didn't kill your parents, you have to believe that," Draco said, suddenly getting out of his chair and dropping to his knees next to the bed. "I didn't want to hurt you, but this is the only choice I have. If I don't do this, I won't have anything left."

"I understand why you're doing it," Hermione said, hating herself for feeling sorry for Draco, but doing it all the same. "But you do have a choice."

"He doesn't bloody have a choice," Harry interrupted. "We're going to turn him in to Dumbledore and that's going to be the end of it. Dumbledore can decide what to do with him."

"You don't understand, Granger. How could you, up here in your precious Gryffindor tower with all your bloody ideals?" Draco got to his feet and started pacing around the room in almost the exact same way Hermione had been moments earlier. "Do you know what will happen to me if I don't hand you over to the Dark Lord? Do you have any idea?"

"We've both had more than one run-in with Voldemort, Malfoy," Harry said, putting his arm around Hermione's shoulders in a comforting gesture. "We are well aware of what he's capable of – that's why we chose to fight against him, instead of siding with him which only makes him stronger."

"Do you really think that once you become a Death Eater, it's all going to be okay?" Hermione asked, looking at Draco. He looked scared and lost. "If you have some misplaced ideas that your Dark Lord looks after his own, then you're going to be sorely disappointed."

"What do you know?" Draco spat back at Hermione. "Stupid little Mudblood with ridiculous ideals. Except you're not so sweet and innocent anymore, are you? Who knocked you up, Granger? Who did you give that precious virginity of yours to?"

"Watch your mouth, Malfoy," Harry said, his eyes flashing in anger as he got to his feet, gripping his wand tightly in his hand.

"You think you can make me, Potter?" Draco asked, getting to his feet and taking a step towards Harry. "I should have known all this was fake, just to get what you wanted. Did you really think that a few drinks and a few friendly words would save your friend?"

"You will not lay a finger on Hermione," Harry said quietly. "She's worth ten of you, and if I have to kill you to protect her, I will without a moment's thought or hesitation."

"Oh for God sake, sit down, both of you," Hermione snapped. "Harry didn't know about any of this until just now."

"So who was it, Granger?" Draco said, not moving, but turning his gaze to Hermione. "Who did you break Weasley's heart for?"

"That's none of your business, Malfoy," Hermione said, putting her hand on her stomach unconsciously. She jumped when Draco took a few steps towards her.

"Stay away from her," Harry said, moving to stand between them.

"Can I see?" Draco asked, his face suddenly unreadable, his eyes on Hermione's stomach.

"See what?" Harry asked, his wand still pointed at Draco.

Hermione looked at Draco questioningly, before pulling the top of her pyjamas up to show Draco her stomach. She pulled the pyjama bottoms down a little, so Draco could see the barely noticeable swell that was her and Severus' tiny baby.

Draco took a step forward and Harry, unsure of whether to hex him or back away from his sudden apparent insanity, stepped to the side.

"I had a baby," Draco said, his voice suddenly different. He dropped to his knees in front of Hermione. "I never got to see it – the moment my father found out, Eleanor disappeared. He told me after that he'd sliced the baby out of her stomach and torched it. Told me, just like that, then he bought me a drink and took me to meet some of his friends, as if it had never happened."

Hermione looked down at Draco, Horror evident in her eyes.

_Did you know about this?_

_I'd heard rumours, _Severus confirmed. _There were some whispers a couple of years ago about Draco bedding one of the servants at the Malfoy Manor. When she disappeared and her parents started searching for her, people joked that maybe Lucius or Draco had managed to get her pregnant and had to… dispose of her. I had no idea that there was any truth in the story or I would have tried to talk to Draco about it._

"She was nice. Pureblood, but not rich. Father approved of me screwing her, but when he started to suspect I cared for her, he got angry." Draco was staring intently at Hermione's stomach. He lifted his hand and placed it on her stomach, making her flinch. "She was the only person who's ever let me be myself," he said, so quietly Harry and Hermione had to strain to hear it. "We were thinking of running away together. It was the only way, but of course my father couldn't have that. Couldn't have a Malfoy marrying a servant; couldn't have a servant bearing a Malfoy child."

If he doesn't back away from you in a moment, I am going to find a way to get out of here and skin him alive. Severus could feel how Hermione had started to shake – this was all getting too much for her. Draco was sounding more and more hysterical by the second and he didn't want Hermione close to him, especially not with his hand so close to Severus' baby.

And I don't want his hands on Hermione either, he admitted to himself.

"If you weren't pregnant, this would be so much easier," Draco said, dropping his hand from her stomach. "Sacrificing you isn't difficult. I don't like it, but I can do it if I have to. But I don't want another baby to die in the Malfoy name."

Harry put his hand around Hermione's shoulders and pulled her to the side, away from Draco. He pushed her behind him and then took a step towards Draco.

"Look Malfoy, that was an awful thing to happen to you," he said, not quite knowing what to do or say. "Your dad was really out of order and you probably need to talk to someone about this properly – you can't bottle something like that up. But right now Mione needs to get some sleep, and I think we all need to sleep on this. We can talk in the morning."

Draco looked up at Harry and Harry flinched at the tears started to spill from Draco's eyes.

"I really thought you had changed," Draco said, his eyes burning into Harry's. "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."

Before Harry could react, Draco had Harry's and Hermione's wands both safely in his fist. At a murmured word, the walls began to shimmer and suddenly Harry had disappeared from sight. Hermione gasped.

"What have you done to Harry?" she asked, flying at Draco. She used her nails, teeth, anything she could to hurt him. All the things he had done to her and her family were churning up inside her and she wanted to hurt him, make him see how it felt. "What. Have. You. Done?"

"Relax Granger," Draco said, dropping the wands into his pocket to grasp the girl's wrists in his hands. "He's fine – he's back in the other room with everyone else."

"What on earth did you do that for?" she asked, breathing deeply.

"I need to decide what to do. I've put up a barrier – no one can get in or out except me and it would take even that old fool Dumbledore at least a few days to get in."

"There is no decision to make, Malfoy," Hermione said, fighting the tears that were still threatening to come. "I'd have to pledge myself to Voldemort willingly. Locking me in here with you for a couple of days isn't going to do that."

Please say you can still hear me, Severus? Hermione asked, trying to calm her thoughts. Severus?

"Oh God."

Severus?

"What?" Draco asked, frowning. "Is the baby okay? What's wrong?"

Hermione tried reaching out with her mind, but she seemed to hit some sort of wall. She groaned and pulled her hands free of Draco's grasp. She climbed onto her bed and scooted up to the top, so she could rest against the pillows.

"The baby is fine," Hermione said, tiredly. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Now?" Draco's brow furrowed and Hermione sighed.

"Yes, now," she said. "You've got me here, so what are you going to do now?"

"Oh, just shut up," Draco snarled, going over to one of Hermione's chairs and sitting down, folding his arms defensively.

"I thought so," Hermione said, sighing and closing her eyes. She didn't trust him, but if she stayed awake much longer she was going to collapse from exhaustion. Tomorrow she'd think of a plan – some way to get out of here and some way to rescue Severus.

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The reviews are much appreciated – my boyfriend reckons my head won't be able to fit through doors soon. Keep reviewing – could use an excuse to stay in all the time and write this ;o)

To the people reading this on Whispers and put Hermione and Severus' thoughts in italics, but as I just copy and paste from Word instead of doing the HTML thing, it doesn't show. My grammar isn't that bad, really. If it gets confusing trying to work out what is text and what are meant to be thoughts, try reading it at http: 


	33. Chapter 33

When Hermione awoke a few hours later, she sat up completely disorientated. She could hear banging and yelling and rubbed her eyes.

_God, I need some tea. About fifteen cups if possible._

She tried reaching out to Severus automatically, and as her thoughts bounced back to her, she was suddenly completely awake.

"Malfoy?"

She tried to get her tired eyes to focus. Her eyes landed on the sleeping form of Draco Malfoy, curled up on one of her chairs. As quietly as she could, she padded towards him, her bare feet not making a sound on the stone floor. She carefully reached into Draco's pocket.

A hand suddenly shot out and grasped Hermione's wrist. She shrieked and jumped back.

"I sleep very lightly," Draco said, stretching. "I'm not completely stupid, you know."

"No, not completely," Hermione said, glowering. God, she felt sick. She needed a drink of water and something to eat, fast. Or she'd probably throw up all over Draco's incredibly expensive robes.

"Are you alright? You look a little green," he said, getting to his feet and peering out of the window. He yelped and jumped backwards as the angry face of Harry Potter suddenly appeared at the window.

"If you don't give me Hermione now," Harry said, only slightly muffled through the window, "I'm going to find a way to get in there and I'm going to Crucio you until you are begging for death."

Hermione looked at Harry, impressed. That sounded almost like something Severus would have said.

"Hello Harry," Hermione said with a small wave from just behind Draco. "Isn't it a bit cold for Quiddich practice?"

"Don't worry, Mione," Harry said, still hovering near the window. "Dumbledore's got Aurors here and we're all working on a way to get you out."

Draco sighed impatiently. "This is all very touching, Potter," Draco said, opening the window and wincing as the freezing cold air blew in. "But I think your friend here needs something to eat and drink. Fancy playing waiter for us? What do you fancy, Granger? Lobster? Caviar? Sausages and mash? May as well make the most of it."

"Don't, Malfoy," Hermione said, screwing her face up. "I feel sick enough as it is."

Draco pulled a vaguely sympathetic face. "Bring us a nice selection of food and drink," he told Harry, who was looking like he wanted to throttle Draco with his bare hands. "If you bring it to the window, I'll pull it in when it gets near enough."

"I already brought something for Mione," Harry said, through gritted teeth. He pulled a packet of crackers out of his pocket and Hermione had to resist trying to throw herself through the window to hug him.

He leaned forward with the packet in his hand, going as far as he could before his hand hit the barrier. When Draco reached out and grabbed the very end of the packet, Harry let go.

"You're a life saver, Harry," Hermione said, immediately grabbing the crackers off Draco and tearing them open.

Harry shot her a smile, and then turned to look at Draco. "I'll bring you the food, Malfoy," he said, quietly. "After that, will you let me in to talk?"

"Sorry, no can do," Draco said, slamming the window shut and drawing the curtains. He surveyed Hermione who was nibbling on the edge of a cracker like a hamster, or a mouse. "What the hell is all that noise?"

"I'm assuming it's Ron, Ginny, Luna and co," Hermione said, pausing in her nibbling. "Probably trying to get in. You know, this is all pretty pointless – you've got no where to go from here and they'll get in eventually."

"I've got a portkey – I can take you to my house and my father could hide both of us before Dumbledore even realizes you're gone," he said, his eyes cold. "I could break you given time and I don't think even you are stupid enough to doubt that."

"So you break me, hand me in to Voldemort, I sign on the dotted line. Then what?" Hermione asked, fighting the urge to be sick. "Voldemort kills me, then you go on your merry way and live happily ever after?"

"That's pretty much it, yeah," Draco said, grabbing a cracker out of the packet Hermione had clutched in her hand. He bit into it and pulled a face. "How do you eat these?"

"It doesn't work like that, and you know it."

"What do you know about it?" he asked, sneering.

_Do they teach sneering as an extra subject in Slytherin, or something? _she wondered vaguely. _First Severus, now Draco. It must be given to them along with their green robes and their superior attitudes._

God, she missed Severus. She even missed his bloody superior attitude. Anything could be happening to him right now, and she wouldn't know. What if she managed to get out of this room and suddenly he wasn't there anymore, and she couldn't contact him? What would she do then? Her hand clutched Severus' mother's necklace and she closed her eyes for a second.

"I know more than you think, Malfoy," Hermione said opening her eyes and starting to pace. "I know that once you're one of Voldemort's Death Eaters, you belong to him. And it's not just you who belongs to him, everything you have and everything you care about is also his."

She looked Draco in the eye, stopping right in front of him. "If you chose to disobey an order, or he's not happy with you for any reason, he'll hurt you, and anyone you care about."

"I repeat: what do you know?" Draco said with a glower. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Granger. The Dark Lord doesn't hurt the people who are loyal to him – just those who betray him, or are stupid enough to annoy him."

"Doesn't he?" Hermione asked, sending up a prayer to Severus to forgive her. "On the day that you're initiated and branded, do you know what your final task will be?"

Hermione closed her eyes, knowing that Severus would never want her revealing what she had seen in his memories, but also knowing that he'd understand. He'd let her do this if it meant saving herself and his baby.

"How do you know about these bloody tasks?" Draco asked, impatiently.

"Your final task is specific to you," Hermione said, closing her eyes and letting her mind drift back to the various images she'd seen in Severus' head. Except the things she was seeing now she had never seen before. "Voldemort makes you prove your loyalty to him, by giving up the thing you care about most."

She could actually hear Voldemort's voice in her head. "Kill one of them – either one. It's up to you – I will leave you a choice Severus. Prove I am your master and chose one to die!"

She could hear Severus' pleas and feel him as he desperately tried to get to his feet. She could hear Voldemort telling Severus that he was nothing now, and everything he had was his. If he didn't choose one of his family to die, Voldemort would kill them both. She could see the terror on Severus' sister and mother's face, see them clutching each other and sobbing. Where was she getting this? How was she in Severus' head when she couldn't hear him at all?

Suddenly she knew what she had to do.

She took two steps forward until she was standing so close to Draco that she could feel the breath on her face.

"Do you really think you're so different? Do you really think your father hasn't lost so much precious to him that he's stopped caring about anything but himself? That your mother hasn't screamed in agony under Voldemort's curses? That you won't suffer what everyone else has suffered, and much worse?"

Suddenly her lips were on Draco's, her hands tangled in his now messy hair as she kissed him and tried to feel for a way into his mind, somehow knowing how to do it, even though she'd never done it before.

She felt something give and pushed with all her might.

Pictures she had already seen started to go through her mind, before they started to change to new ones. She could feel Severus' nausea as this time she saw his sister held down and raped by Voldemort. She could feel the helplessness and the anger as he screamed so hard Hermione's own throat hurt. She tried to somehow shut out the image as Voldemort performed Avada Kedavra on Severus' sister, before he carried on raping her. She watched as Voldemort came to a climax, before smiling maliciously at Severus, who was vomiting on the ground, still held down by Death Eaters.

Suddenly there was Lucius on his knees in front of Voldemort, half hidden from view by rows of other Death Eaters in their heavy black Robes. At a murmured spell from Voldemort he was screaming incoherently, writhing on the ground in agony, blood starting to drip from his eyes as his blood vessels ruptured.

She saw someone who could only be Draco's mother, although quite a bit younger. She was on her knees before Voldemort's throne and Hermione could hear her begging. Then in a matter of seconds, her arms were bound behind her back by what seemed to be long, thin snakes. She lay on her tied arms on the grass as a group of Death Eaters tore off her clothes and took turns at brutally raping her.

Then she saw Lucius again, in the same dark clearing as before. He had hold of a young girl by the wrists – she couldn't have been more than seventeen or eighteen. She was pretty, with dark curly hair that cascaded over her shoulders and down her back in a way that Hermione almost envied. She watched as Lucius threw the girl to the ground and then stood over her. He performed Crucio on the girl until she started to vomit blood. Hermione tried to distance herself to look closer. The girl was quite obviously pregnant and Hermione could see the blood seeping out from between her legs, staining the trousers she was wearing.

_Oh my God._

Suddenly Hermione was on the floor; somehow Draco had forced her from his mind. She gasped and retched onto the floor, trying to clear her mind and breathe deeply. She finally got control over herself and looked over at Draco – he was somehow still standing, staring ahead, his face so pale he looked dead.

"Malfoy?"

"Eleanor," he whispered, before his legs gave out and he fell to the ground. He sat on the floor, still staring ahead. "He tortured her. How did you see that? How did you do that? How did you see my mother?"

"I didn't see that, someone else did," Hermione said, quietly. "I had to make you see what you're getting yourself into."

"How do I know any of that was real?" Draco finally looked at Hermione. "How do I know it wasn't some pathetic trick to save your own worthless life?"

"How would I have any idea what Eleanor looked like?" Hermione asked, wondering when Severus had finally managed to work out who the girl had been. "How would I even know what your mother looked like?"

She crawled over to Draco, carefully avoiding the pool of sick on the floor.

"I might resent the hell out of you for the things you've done to me," Hermione admitted, "But that doesn't mean I don't care what happens to you. If my life wasn't on the line, I would still want to stop you making the mistake you're about to make."

"I already belong to the Dark Lord, Granger," Draco said, dropping his face into his hands. "That isn't a choice I have to make any more. Now the only choice I have is whether I take you and your baby down with me and have a chance at happiness, or whether I sacrifice myself now."

"Do you really think being a Death Eater will make you happy?"

"He betrayed me," Draco said, lifting his head from his hands and looking at Hermione. Tears were running down his face. "I could have had a family of my own and my father stole that from me, all for the sake of appearance. He tortured her, just because I cared about her."

Hermione stared at Draco. She had expected him to get upset, vomit, scream and shout, and she had expected him to blame Voldemort, not his father. She put her hand out and tentatively touched him on the shoulder.

"Draco, do you want to talk to a friend about this? Pansy maybe?"

"I don't have bloody friends," Draco snapped. "I'm not a bloody Gryffindor – the people I have around me are useful, but they're not friends."

"Malfoy?" Harry's muffled voice came to Hermione's ears. She looked up at the windows, still covered by the curtains. Harry was there, hovering on his broomstick, waiting.

"Do you want me to tell him to go away for a while?" she asked.

"Let me in, Malfoy."

At a muttered word and a strange hand gesture from Draco, Harry, the broom and the basket of food appeared in the middle of Hermione's bedroom.

"You're better at spells than I thought you were," Harry said, climbing off the bed. "I'm impressed."

He walked over to Draco and knelt beside him. His eyes met Hermione's and she knew then that Harry had been outside the window for a long time before he'd called out to them. He'd heard everything.

"I don't want you thinking I've gone soft on you," Harry said, mimicking Draco's words from the night before. "But I'm about to hug you now. I just thought you'd like some warning, so you can prepare yourself."

He put his arms around Draco and to Hermione's surprise, Draco turned into Harry's arms. He buried his head in Harry's shoulder and his shoulders started to shake as he started to sob brokenly.

Hermione watched in part horror and part fascination as Harry lifted his hand and started gently stroking Draco's hair, whispering comforting words to him as he did. Draco's arms were suddenly wrapped around Harry's waist and Hermione watched in confusion as Draco's worst enemy held him and rocked him gently while he cried.

"It's alright," Harry murmured into Draco's hair. "I'll make sure you're safe. We'll work this out."

"I'm going to Azkaban," Draco said, his voice muffled as he was still speaking into Harry's neck.

"I won't let that happen," Harry said, looking up at Hermione for confirmation. She nodded slowly. "You'll be safe here. Dumbledore will make sure of that. If he doesn't, I will. You're not on your own."

Harry reached into Draco's pocket, still holding Draco close with his other arm. He picked Draco's wand out of the three and waved it in a circle.

"Finite Incantatem," he said, then looked at Hermione's puzzled face.

"The barriers can only be taken down with Draco's wand," he explained, oddly amused to find something he knew, but Hermione didn't. "Dumbledore explained it earlier."

Harry threw Hermione her wand, still refusing to let go of Draco, who was finally starting to calm down.

"Can you go and get Dumbledore? He's outside."

Hermione nodded, feeling a little dazed.

_Severus? _She reached out with her mind as she got to her feet. _Severus? Where are you?_

Hermione suddenly screamed, clutching her side and falling to her knees. The stabbing pain was almost making her black out as she clutched her side and screamed again.

"What's happening?" she gasped out loud.

_End the charm, Hermione. Now._ The voice was weak and horse and sent shivers of terror down Hermione's spine.

_I can't lose you again, _she gasped back to him. _I can't._

She screamed again, writhing on the floor as she felt someone kick Severus in the face. She felt the blood pouring from his nose and reached up to touch her own face, her hand coming back sticky with blood.

_End it. Don't make this worse for me, Hermione._

_I will get you out of there, _she promised, pulling the chain from around her neck and gasping as all the pain suddenly receded.

"Hermione? Hermione!" Harry was on his knees next to her, Draco was standing close, looking panicked.

"I'm not doing that," he said, an edge of terror in his voice. "I swear I'm not doing that to her."

"I didn't think you were," Harry said, cupping Hermione's face in his hand.

"Malfoy, you have to fix this," Hermione said, using Harry's shoulder to pull herself to her feet. "Professor Snape is in your dungeons and you have to get him out."

"How do you know about that?" Draco asked, bewildered. "No one is meant to know."

"You knew and you didn't try to help him?" Hermione asked, her eyes flashing. "Oh forget it, there isn't time. You have to help me get him out. You have to get me into your house."

"What?"

"He's dying Malfoy. They're killing him, and I have to save him. You owe me this much."

"I don't owe you anything, Granger," Draco said, glaring at Hermione, his previous misery temporarily forgotten.

"Then you owe Severus," she said. "Do it for him. For God sake, he could already be dead."

"Severus?" Draco asked, bewildered. "Since when do you call him Severus?"

The door to Hermione's bedroom opened and Albus stepped into the room.

"They're killing him," Hermione said, turning to Albus. "We have to stop them."

Albus took in her bloodied face and turned and warded the door. Ron walked straight into the barrier and fell backwards, a bemused and pained look on his face.

"I want to see Hermione!" he yelled from the other side. "Let me in!"

"Draco, are you prepared to help us get Professor Snape out of your dungeons?" Albus asked. "Are you prepared to lead us in there."

"Would my family get hurt?" Draco asked, quietly.

"They will probably end up in Azkaban, at the very least," Albus said, truthfully. "You have to decide whether you would rather have the capture of your parents on your conscience, or the death of Professor Snape."

Draco stood still for a moment, looking at his feet. When he looked up, his eyes were a curious shade of silver.

"I can't get you in undetected," he said. "The alarms would go off the second you set foot on the grounds, and only my father can disable them. I can try to stop my father myself, but I don't know if there would be even a small chance of that working. I am willing to try. Professor Snape has been there for me more than my father ever has."

Whether it was revenge on his father for killing the only girl Draco had ever actually given a damn about, the fact that he would do anything to stay out of Azkaban or the fact that he really did give a damn about Severus, Hermione wasn't sure. But she was hugely grateful.

"I think I know a way we could get everyone past the alarms," Hermione said, hoping to God and any other Deity out there that Severus was still alive. "But we have to hurry."

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I just want to say a quick congratulations to Tainted Elf, who got engaged yesterday :o) Aww :o)

I also want to send a hug to NobisSolomNon. Hope you're okay. x


	34. Chapter 34

Severus had long ago lost count of the times he had been beaten and subjected to the Cruciatus curse. He had felt something burst inside him at the last kick he had taken to his stomach and he could no longer see anything. The pain was starting to get too much for him and he knew that he wasn't far from blacking out, and shortly after that he would bleed to death.

He was barely aware of conscious thought as he tried to ride the pain out the best he could. God, he wanted Hermione. Just to hold her, or see her one last time. He felt like he was floating above himself. Not long now.

When he had lost contact with Hermione he had panicked, frantically searching for a way to escape so he could get back to her and find out what was hurting her. For a moment or two his head spun as he was hit with the notion that she might well be dead. The stab of pain that went through his chest at that idea had almost taken his breath away.

He was eyeing the guard, trying to work out when the best time to attack him would be when he had finally felt something probing his mind. He could feel it in his thoughts; barely a tickle as someone searched for something. He concentrated harder until he finally managed to see what Hermione was searching for. It took him precious seconds to work out what she was looking for and to give her more. He fed her the memories without flinching, barely seeing what he was showing her.

Severus came back to his senses less than a second before the foot made contact with his ribs. He had fallen to his knees while he had been feeding Hermione the information. The sensations, the memories and the effort had become too much for him to concentrate on keeping himself upright.

At first Severus had thought that the idiot they'd had guarding him had finally noticed he was up to something, and had come in to kick him about for a while before informing Lucius. Except as Severus had looked up from the pool of blood on the floor, he had been surprised to see Lucius' determined face.

"The Dark Lord has been hearing bad things about you, Severus," Lucius had said in an almost bored tone. "He seems to think you have been useful to the cause long enough and I have been chosen to make you pay for your sins."

"You choose whichever side you think will win and benefit you the most," Severus had spat, trying to breathe through the pain. "You were never loyal to him."

"I'm a Slytherin," Lucius said with a smile, as if that was all the explanation anyone needed. "I do what is in my best interest."

"A Gryffindor brought the Dark Lord back," Severus had reminded Lucius. "What house you were in does not determine every move you make in life. I make my own decisions, Lucius. Let's hope your boy does the same."

"Draco will be initiated and he will wear the Dark Mark with pride," Lucius had snapped, pointing his wand at Severus and getting ready to curse him. "You always were soft, Severus."

"Yes, you keep saying." Severus had moved himself into a position where he could sit up. "Accio wand." He had called, his hand out expectantly.

Lucius shook his head in disappointment. "There are wards all over this house to prevent wandless magic. Now get up and die with honour."

It was less than three our four minutes of torture that Severus had to endure before he lay on the ground, finally close enough to death to be sure it would come quickly. He felt the waves of pain wash over him and could feel consciousness ebbing away. When he heard Draco's voice, he was half sure he was hallucinating.

_Or I'm in hell, _he thought dryly. _I knew I should have helped that little old lady across the road…_

"Hello father." Draco's voice echoed around the dungeons, making Severus wince. His head felt like it was about to burst and that really wasn't helping.

"As much as I appreciate this unexpected visit, now is not a good time," he heard Lucius say, his voice betraying irritation. "Wait until we have finished this little task for Our Lord and I will talk to you then."

Severus tried to move while Lucius' attention was diverted but found he couldn't even lift his head. He felt something crack as his muscles strained to move him and cried out in pain before giving up completely.

"This can't wait," Severus heard Draco say. "I have something to show you all."

_All? How many of his former friends were watching him bleed to death?_

"A painting Draco? Surely that can wait. Go upstairs and wait in my chambers, or visit with your mother."

"You see father, this is a very special painting," Draco was saying. "A magical painting."

"Have you been drinking again, boy?" Lucius asked, sounding irritated. A few of the other Death Eaters laughed. Lucius glanced at Severus who was lying on the floor, barely breathing anymore.

"You just say a magic word, and magical things come out of it," Draco said, his voice eerily calm and vaguely creepy.

Lucius sighed and pointed his wand at Severus.

"Crucio," he said in a commanding tone, deciding to ignore Draco's presence.

Severus heard himself scream and then blackness finally and thankfully took over.

"Finite Sanctorum." Lucius' head whipped around as he heard the words spoken by what seemed like hundreds of people all at the same time.

He took a step backwards as thirty or forty people suddenly appeared in his dungeon, forcing him against the wall as they fought for room to stand. He recognized a good percentage of them and groaned in disbelief. The Death Eaters who had been watching him torture Severus were suddenly outnumbered by far too many to even try to fight. They were surrounded and disarmed within seconds.

Lucius stepped back into the shadows and watched in disbelief as the Granger girl that his son had whined about so much ran over to Severus' battered and bleeding body and cradled his injured head in her lap. She checked his pulse and screamed frantically for the school's Mediwitch.

"A little crowded in here, don't you think father?" Draco said, craning his neck to see over Alistor Moody's bony shoulder to point his wand at his father. "Expelleramus."

As Lucius' wand flew over the heads of twenty or thirty Aurors and Order of the Phoenix members, he gaped at Draco, cold fury mixed with complete bewilderment in his eyes.

"After all I have given you…" he said, not even making a move to defend himself as Draco walked over to him and started to magically bind his hands behind his back. "Why?"

"I thought about it," Draco said, unaware of Harry standing a little to his right, listening now that all the Death Eaters had easily been captured. It had been decided earlier that Draco could handle his father if that was what he wanted. "You gave me money and possessions and expected my soul in return. I might have no money, no friends and no family any more, but I'll still have some bloody dignity. I refuse to be at somebody's beck and call; I refuse to grovel and kiss the Dark Lord's robes. I am better than that, as you should have been."

Draco paused as he was about to seal the magical rope that bound his father's wrists. "A professor and a servant were there for me more than you ever were," he said, looking his father in the eye. "You took my family away. Now I'm taking yours."

"You are sadly mistaken if you think you have won here, Draco," Lucius drawled, looking entirely too smug. "I will not go to Azkaban because of your ridiculous naivety. There are more important things than a traitor and a slut."

Suddenly Lucius' hands were free and he had Draco's wand in his grasp. He caught hold of his furious son by the hair and dug the tip of his wand into Draco's throat.

"We're leaving the back way," Lucius informed his son, digging the wand in deeper as he dragged him a couple of steps back further into the shadows. "And when we are away from this place, I am going to give you the lesson of your life. All this over something as petty as that useless servant girl. Although I did keep her alive for a few days before I disposed of her, so I do understand why you were so keen on the girl. The way she wriggled underneath me as I held her down and screwed her was most delicious."

"I will never forgive you for this," Draco said, his voice choked. "You'd better kill me now, because if you let me live I am going to hunt you down and make you pay for hurting Eleanor. And my baby."

"Of course, Draco," Lucius drawled sarcastically. "And if you were anything more than a spoiled child, I would be quivering in my shoes; really I would. Now stop whining for a second while I get us to somewhere safe."

"Let go of me," Draco said through gritted teeth, trying to get free of his father's grip. "I am not going anywhere with you."

"You are coming with me so I can decide what to do with you," Lucius snarled, still moving further into the shadows until he finally hit the stone wall. He held Draco still with one arm wrapped around his neck, while he used his other hand to feel for a dent in the wall. "Never in my life have I been so disappointed in you."

"That is nothing compared to how I've felt about you my entire life," Draco answered back, close to tears. "You let them rape my mother. You killed the only girl I cared about and now you've killed the only person at Hogwarts who actually gave a damn about me."

"That's not entirely true, Malfoy," Harry said, feigning a wounded expression. "I'm hurt. Expelliarmus."

Draco's wand flew out of Lucius' grasp and into Harry's hand.

"Let go of him before I am forced to hurt you," Harry threatened Lucius. "And don't think I wouldn't love an excuse to pay you back for all the nasty things you've done to my friends."

"I'm your friend? Are you feeling alright, Potter?" Draco asked, wriggling free of his father's loosening grip and taking his wand from Harry's outstretched hand. He pointed it at his father and started magically binding him again.

"Need a hand?" Harry asked, watching Draco's face as he worked. He could tell he was trying desperately not to break down. At Draco's nod, Harry started casting binding spells of his own.

"There is no need to truss me up like a damned Christmas turkey," Lucius pointed out as they bound his legs together too. "And _you_ associating with Potter! I would rather be dead than suffer the humiliation of that ever getting out."

"That's nothing," Draco said, finally content that his father couldn't escape. "You should see what an amazing kisser he is."

"I'd really rather not kiss your dad," Harry protested with a grin as he watched the emotions cross Lucius' face as he tried to take in what his son had just told him. "Besides, I'm sure you are far better in bed."

"Most definitely."

As Lucius gaped in horror, Draco grinned and floated him back out of the shadows at the back of the dungeon, putting him down near the rest of the captured and incapacitated Death Eaters.

"I am tempted to kill you here and now," Draco said, looking down into his father's cold eyes. "But I would rather you suffer the indignity and misery of Azkaban."

"Or the Dementor's Kiss," Ron piped up from somewhere nearby. "I'd say what he's been doing more than warrants that."

As Draco's face paled a little, Harry took his arm and pulled him away from both Ron and his father. When they finally reached a deserted and dark corner of the dungeon, Harry stopped.

"You're doing great," he said in a whisper. "Keep the brave face on for another five minutes and then I'll get you out of here."

"I don't need your help, Potter," Draco said, refusing to look at the dark haired Gryffindor in front of him. "I'm fine."

Harry sighed, debating whether or not to just leave the boy alone. Hermione would need him now and she would definitely want his help a lot more than Malfoy apparently did.

"Look Malfoy, if you don't want me to help that's fine, but at least let me find you someone to be with. You shouldn't be on your own right now."

"What is it with you bloody Gryffindors always expecting everyone to have hundreds of friends waiting to give them hugs and kisses?" Draco snapped, glaring at Harry. "I don't get close to people; I don't break down in front of people – it's dangerous. I don't give people ways to get to me."

"And how's that working out for you?" Harry said, glaring back. "Stop pushing me away."

"Oh just fuck off, Potter," Malfoy said, pushing him away. "Concentrate on your own pathetic problems instead of getting off on mine."

"Don't you dare touch me," Harry snarled back at Draco, stopping himself from falling by grabbing onto a bar of one of the many cells in the dungeon.

"Finally getting annoyed? Finally going to stop being Saint sodding Potter?" Draco said, moving towards Harry and pushing him by the shoulders until Harry hit the wall of the cell. "Are you finally going to hit me back?"

Harry stood with his back pressed against the cold wall of the dungeon and looked at Draco.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Harry said, his voice calm and low. "That the only person you want to break down on is someone you've sworn to hate?"

Draco stared back at Harry, the fury leaving his eyes as quickly as it came. Then before Harry had realised what was happening he found himself pressed up against the cold dungeon wall, Draco's mouth moving against his. Harry groaned and kissed him back hungrily, his hands gripping Draco's shoulders tightly.

"Harry? Harry, where are you? I need you." Hermione's tearstained face appeared in the faint light as she peered around the cell, trying to see if Harry was there.

Draco and Harry sprung apart, Draco running his hands through his hair and Harry covering his face with his hands for a second. He groaned into his hands, before stepping out of the shadows and wrapping Hermione in a hug.

"What did Poppy say?" he asked gently, kissing the top of her head. He looked over her head at Draco who was still standing in the cell, watching him with an unreadable look on his face.

"Oh God, Harry." Hermione buried her face in Harry's shoulder and started sobbing again.

"It's alright, sweetheart," he said, his eyes still on Draco as he stroked her hair gently. "I'll talk to Poppy. Draco, can you keep an eye on Hermione for a second?"

"I already talked to Poppy," Hermione said between sobs. "She doesn't know what will happen. He's been taken to St Mungo's, but they won't let me go with him."

"Are you talking about Professor Snape?" Draco said, coming out of the shadows and standing close to Hermione. His brow was furrowed.

Harry shook his head at Draco and mouthed, "not now."

"Dumbledore will get you in," Harry said. "Come on, let's go and see him."

"The Headmaster has been injured too," a voice came from close by. "Someone had a knife, apparently."

As the person moved nearer, a shaft of light fell on the long, blonde hair, making it glow eerily. Draco moved towards her.

"Hello mother," he said with a weak smile.

"I think we need to talk," she said, putting her hand gently but firmly on his shoulder and leading him out.


	35. Chapter 35

Hermione was exhausted. It had been four and a half weeks since the incident in the Malfoy dungeons; five Death Eaters had been captured, and faced with the prospect of enduring the Dementor's Kiss, one had broken down and led the Aurors to the houses of three others in a desperate attempt to save himself from that fate. The trials were yet to be held, as evidence was still being collected against them all.

Draco had been acting strangely over the past few weeks. _Well, more strangely than usual, _Hermione amended. He hadn't been hanging around with his usual gang in Slytherin, but he also hadn't been anywhere near any of them. From what she'd heard on the Hogwarts grapevine, he'd been hibernating in his room, only leaving for food and lessons. Harry had tried to approach him once and had got such a mouthful that even he had backed off and decided to stay away from him.

Dumbledore had come back from the infirmary after only a day or two under Madam Pomfrey's care. Hermione had visited the Headmaster and had been told that Death Eater had managed to take Albus unawares and had pulled a knife on him. It scared Hermione that something so Muggle could hurt someone as powerful as Albus Dumbledore. Luckily his wounds had been superficial and easy for the experienced Mediwitch to heal, and Poppy had been very pleased to be rid of him, after refusing the 100th Lemon drop he had offered with a glower and a shake of her head.

Albus had gathered together everyone who had been present in the dungeons that day. He had informed everyone that no one would know of Draco's hand in the raid on Malfoy Manor – all the Death Eaters and even Draco's own father had had their memories altered. It seemed that Draco was now stuck with the position of 'spy' for Albus, as the Dark lord would still be wanting to recruit him, especially now as so many of his top Death Eaters had been taken from him.

Hermione wondered what Severus would say if he knew any of this. Actually, she did know – he would be furious that Draco was having to go through the same hell he'd had to endure, and would do anything he could to stop it. Except Severus couldn't do anything to stop it. The one and only time Hermione had managed to get into St Mungos, Severus had been lying in the hospital bed, bruised and broken, not even able to breathe on his own.

She had been allowed five minutes to sit with him, and her wand had been confiscated while she visited. It had taken her a few days of being turned away from the hospital to work out that Albus himself had been responsible for her not being allowed to visit. He had been sure Hermione would try to save Severus again, using the same spell as she had used before. His fears had been confirmed as the angry girl had strode around his office, glaring at him and insisting that she be allowed to at least try to revive him with a Mediwitch to ground her.

At his refusal, she had stormed out, slamming his door behind her and had refused to utter a word to him since. She even refused to speak to him when he addressed her directly, much to the amazement of Ron, who had been standing next to her one of the times Albus had tried to talk to her.

"Mione, did you _hear_ Dumbledore speaking to you?" he had asked, his eyes wide. "Do you need your ears cleaned or something? Are you alright?"

Hermione had finally talked to Harry about what had really been happening over the past few months. She even talked to him about his proposal and luckily hadn't really had to do much explaining. He had seen how upset she was over Severus and it had finally managed to reach his mind that she really did care about the professor; enough to not want to marry Harry while there was still any chance of Severus waking up.

_Not that the bloody man would marry me anyway, _Hermione thought, turning over in bed. _Even if he did wake up, any mention of marriage would probably send him straight back into St Mungo's mental ward, as he battled a gigantic nervous breakdown._

It was three in the morning, she was tired, she felt queasy and she couldn't switch her mind off enough to sleep. It was nearly the Christmas holidays and she wasn't sure what to do. Everyone except Harry still thought her parents were dead, so it was going to be difficult to go to wherever the hell they were to visit them. And even if she did go and see them, how would she managed to keep her pregnancy a secret from them?

She put her hand on her stomach. She was seventeen weeks pregnant now and had a different enough shape for people to notice if she hadn't been wearing either bulky clothes or robes all the time.

_Thank God for winter clothes,_ Hermione thought. Her thick jumpers and transfigured trousers meant that she could still wear normal clothes on the weekend without people saying anything. Although she had heard Pavarti making some rude comments about her having eaten 'one too many Chocolate Frogs' not long ago.

She had read that her morning sickness should have gone about five weeks ago and had even double checked that fact with Poppy who had informed her that, yes it _should_ have gone, but it doesn't always and every pregnancy is different. Nevermind, eh?

Hermione blamed her raging hormones for the incredibly strong urge she had to throttle the Mediwitch that day.

She was also constantly on the alert to see if she could feel her baby moving around in there, as she had also read that anytime now she could be feeling something a little like fluttering in her stomach. Except her stomach was growling and rumbling so much at the moment that it would have been very hard to work out what was baby and what was her undigested breakfast.

She pulled a face, waved the lights on and pulled the Muggle pregnancy book out from underneath her pillow. If she couldn't sleep, she may as well obsess over the baby instead. She had been doing that a lot lately and had blamed it on the fact that she couldn't share her pregnancy properly with anyone. Ginny would be ideal, if Hermione ever got up the courage to tell her.

'_The second trimester is a happy time for most pregnant women,'_ she read. _Pah. That's alright for you to say – you're not in the bloody second trimester of pregnancy._

She sat up and looked at her clock again, half expecting it to suddenly be half past seven already, so she would have to get up and get ready for breakfast.

_Was that actually wishful thinking? God, life is getting bad._

Hermione looked up at the wall at the picture she still hadn't replaced in Severus' quarters. She had chosen the beach painting to hide the Aurors and all the other people who had hidden inside while Draco took them into his house. She hadn't _stolen_ it exactly, just forgotten to put it back after they had finished using it. It was calming for her to watch the waves lapping against the shore and she was sure Severus wouldn't mind. Well, she was almost sure Severus wouldn't mind.

She kept her eyes fixed on the painting and tried to relax. As her eyes drifted shut she tried to imagine herself lying on the beach with the sun sinking into her skin, Severus lying beside her.

_No, not lying beside me, _she amended, _kneeling over me, kneading and massaging my shoulders; touching me with those amazing hands of his._

She turned the lights off without opening her eyes and felt herself start to drift off.

xxx

Hermione awoke feeling disorientated. Her skin was prickling as if someone was watching her and her eyes flew open as she sat up in bed and looked around. Her wand grasped in her hand, she slipped her feet into her bunny slippers, ignoring the indignant squeaks, and slowly and carefully checked her rooms.

After checking every single inch of her room, she glowered at her slippers as if it were somehow their fault, kicked them off and climbed back into bed.

At least I'm exhausted enough to sleep, she thought, sinking back against her soft pillows. 

'_beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep'_

Hermione groaned and glared at her clock.

"Silencio!" she snarled, pointing her wand at it. "And if you don't, I'll blow you up instead."

_God, I don't want to get up this morning._

"Mione! Are you up yet?"

_The dulcet tones of Ronald Weasley on a Monday morning. Oh Joy._

Actually, Hermione was incredibly happy that Ron was talking to her again. Whatever Draco had said to him had somehow changed his perspective completely and he had almost gone back to how he had been before. Almost; there was still no hugging, or flirting, but Hermione had decided she could live without that side of their friendship quite easily.

"Bugger off!" she yelled at him through the door.

"I think she's up," Hermione heard Harry say.

"And you can bugger off too!" she yelled through the door at him.

"Caffeine withdrawal," Harry informed Ron. Hermione could almost hear the teasing grin that she knew would be on his face.

It took Hermione five minutes of charms to be ready for breakfast. _It was too cold to shower_, she decided._ Too cold and too bloody early._

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, Harry, Ron and Ginny were waiting for her, all looking far too awake.

"Come on, Hermione," Harry said, taking her bag and slipping his arm through hers. "A cup of that disgustingly strong tea you drink and you'll be yourself in no time."

"Or less like something that crawled out from under Harry's bed at least," Ron added, tactlessly and received a glower in return.

"I look that bad?" Hermione asked Ginny as they walked down.

"You just look a bit tired," Ginny said, patting her shoulder soothingly.

"Oh great," she muttered, running her hands through her still quite tangled hair.

_Well, maybe it did need a wash,_ she admitted. And she probably could have put some make up on to cover the darkness under her eyes. _It's too late now anyway,_ she decided, filling her bowl with cereal and pouring the milk onto it.

She lifted her almost black cup of tea to her mouth and coughed, spattering Neville with it as she did.

"This isn't tea," Hermione said, glaring into her cup. It was no longer the dark brown colour she could have sworn it was a moment earlier. "But I poured it out a second ago and I swear it was tea then."

"Here, have mine," Ginny offered. "I've got to try to finish my transfiguration homework before class anyway."

Hermione smiled gratefully at her friend and lifted the cup to her mouth. As she sprayed Neville for the second time, he did his very best not to look annoyed as he wiped the milk from his robes.

"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, vanishing the liquid with a flick of her wand. She peered into her cup and then showed it to Harry and Ron, who were looking at her like she was completely insane.

"You're sure you didn't pour yourself milk instead?" Harry asked, his face puzzled. "Why would someone want to pull a trick like that?"

"To stop me getting my bloody morning caffeine fix!" Hermione said with a suspicious glare towards the Slytherin table. "Someone really, really evil!"

Hermione looked at the staff table for the first time that morning and her eyes widened.

"Oh my God…"

She got slowly to her feet and walked towards the head table, her eyes wide and her expression dazed.

"Hermione!" she heard Harry hiss in her ear as he tried to pull her back by her shoulder. "People can see you! Don't do anything stupid."

Hermione shrugged him off. Her eyes met Severus' and she stumbled, somehow missing a step. Severus rose to his feet and bowed his head to Albus.

"Excuse me, Headmaster. I have something to attend to."

Albus nodded, sending Severus an understanding smile, which Severus missed completely as he hurried to stop Hermione before she did something ridiculous. He grabbed Hermione's arm, stopping her and spinning her around to face him.

"You were in my room," Hermione said, her voice dazed.

"Now is neither the time, or the place for this discussion, Miss Granger," Severus said, his voice low. "Come to the dungeons after tea and we will discuss whatever you like then."

"You're really alive?" Her hand lifted to touch his cheek, then snatched it back quickly, millimeters from his face, as if finally remembering where she was.

_Oh God._ If she touched him, it would be his undoing. He would pick her up and carry her out of the hall and find the nearest bed to ravage her on. As long as the bed didn't belong to Albus, Minerva or Filius, he didn't care. He shuddered slightly at the thought of taking Hermione over Albus' bed, with all the portraits the old Wizard had of friends and family cheering them on and giving him marks out of ten.

He was tempted to make some sort of sarcastic comment in response to Hermione's question, but the unsure expression on her face made him stop.

"I'm alive," he confirmed softly, painfully conscious of how many sets of ears were currently straining to hear what he and the Head Girl were saying.

He raised his voice loud enough for at least half the students in the hall to be able to hear him. "Miss Granger, as irritating as it will be supervising your detention on my first day back, it will be more than worth it to see you scrubbing cauldrons all night. Any more of your impertinence and I will find something decidedly worse for you to do. Do I make myself clear?"

"Very clear, sir," Hermione said, a smile lighting her face.

"It might help matters if you look a little _le_ss _pleased_ about it," Severus hissed pointedly, before turning on his heel to stride out of the dining hall. "I am supposed to be terrifying."

Hermione bit her lip, fighting a laugh. _He was back. He was alive._ She nodded to him and went to sit back in her seat at the table. She picked up her cup again and looked at it suspiciously. Then she looked up and stared suspiciously at the retreating back of her Potions Professor.

Hmm… 

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Hello again :o) Thank you for all my lovely reviews – I can't believe how many of you go to all the bother of leaving one. It really cheers my day up (and you never know, it might make me write just that leeeeetle bit faster ;o) )

x


	36. Chapter 36

When Severus had woken up in his private room at St Mungos, his first thought had been of Hermione, which was painfully telling in itself. After three minutes of Severus being awake, his nurse had stormed out of the room and bumped straight into Albus and Minerva, who had come to visit him. The nurse had muttered something about _miserable, sarcastic, ungrateful bastards_ and they had known immediately that he was awake.

His first question upon them entering his room had been: "Where's Hermione?"

"Ah." Albus had worn a suspiciously guilty look on his face. Severus had tried to sit up, so he could glower more effectively, but found that he was magically bound to the bed.

_Naked but for a sheet, bound to a bed… Has Albus gone kinky in my absence?_

"What do you mean, 'ah'?" Severus glowered anyway - sod the fact that it was a far less intimidating glower when he couldn't move; Albus never seemed bothered by his evil looks anyway, even when they were at their absolute best.

"Miss Granger has not been allowed to visit," Minerva had informed Severus in clipped tones. "In case she tried to use _Advante Corporium_ on you again."

Severus had nodded. Hermione probably would have been ridiculously _Gryffindor_ enough to try that little trick again. Except there were no guarantees that she would ever wake up again if she had. And even using _Advante Corporium_ under controlled circumstances could have damaged both her and the baby.

"How long have I been in here?" he had asked, noting Minerva's quiet fury but wisely deciding not to ask.

Minerva had opened her mouth to answer, then pursed her mouth up to make a sour expression. Severus had watched with interest as Minerva seemed to fight with herself.

"You got Miss Granger pregnant!" she had finally snapped, the words exploding from her mouth like she could no longer contain them. "Pregnant!"

"Now, now, Minerva," Albus had reprimanded gently. "There is plenty of time for you to lecture him once he is safely back at Hogwarts."

"Pregnant! Of all the foolish, ridiculous…"

"That is quite enough, Minerva," Severus had suddenly cut her off. He wasn't going to let her lecture him like he was one of her errant Gryffindors. "How. Long. Have. I. Been. Here?"

"Just over a month," Albus informed him as Minerva seethed. "Your body has been healed for a long while, but you completely refused to wake up."

_It had probably been the idea of all those students waiting for me to drill some knowledge into them, _he decided. _I was probably subconsciously in hiding._

Severus had sighed in relief. He grudgingly admitted to himself that part of him had been scared he might have missed Hermione's baby being born. Thank Merlin he hadn't missed seeing her before she left Hogwarts for good. Not that he had any idea what he would say to her, but he knew he had to see her at least once more before she left.

He had relaxed again and listened to Albus and the still furious Minerva as they explained everything that had happened. Only after he had calmed down about the Draco situation had Albus released him from his magical restraints and let him get dressed. It had taken well over three hours.

Four days later, he was back teaching again. This morning when Hermione had finally noticed him, he had been so close to just wrapping his arms around her and holding her. A large part of him hadn't cared about the hundreds of students watching, or the staff members who would probably all die of shock; he had just wanted to touch her.

Now there she was, sitting in his class and pretending not to look at him. He looked at her properly, his eyes feasting on her after they had been starved of her for so long.

_She looked exhausted, _he noted_. Exhausted and stressed. He was going to have to do something about it, before she did herself and the baby some harm._

His eyes wandered down and he tried not to take in the fact that her breasts looked fuller and were straining against the material of her cloak. He looked for signs that her pregnancy was showing and was oddly disappointed to note that with her robes on at least, you couldn't really see any difference.

_What's wrong with me? _Severus groaned to himself. _It's a good thing no one can tell she is pregnant! _The feelings he had been having since he had seen her were not doing him any good. Part of him wanted to mark her, brand her as his. The same primitive part of him wanted the world to know that the beautiful, intelligent girl who was standing so close to him was carrying _his_ child.

Severus' fingers tightened around his quill as he fought the urge to get up and kiss Hermione until she was gasping for breath. _God, he wanted to push her over that desk and…_

The quill snapped in his hand, causing Hermione to quickly look up from where she had been quietly working on her potion. Their eyes met and she stared back at him, flushing faintly at the desire that was so evident in his eyes.

"Bloody hell."

Hermione's head whipped round to look at Draco Malfoy, who up until now hadn't said a word all morning. Her eyes widened as she followed his gaze as it flicked between the Potions Master and Hermione.

"Sir, could Draco and I be excused for a minute?" Hermione asked, quickly. "He needs some… erm… well…"

Harry shook his head at Hermione in despair. The sudden appearance of her professor had melted her brain.

"I don't wish to know what Mr Malfoy needs that you think you can give him, Miss Granger," Severus said. His eyes narrowed as he watched Draco's mouth open as he was about to say something else. He caught Harry's eye and gave him a meaningful look. If the boy didn't know what was going on, Severus would eat his broom. Hermione must have told him.

"Potter, take Mr Malfoy to the medical wing," Severus said in a bored tone. "Don't let him leave until he is given something suitably nasty that will cure him of this irritating tendency to shout out in my classes."

Harry nodded gratefully, jumped up and practically dragged Draco out of the classroom. He led him up the steps and into an empty corridor, where he finally dropped Draco's arm.

"Subtlety isn't your strong point, is it?" Harry said, breathing deeply. "You almost told half the class."

"Granger… She slept with Snape?" Draco's eyes were wide in disbelief. "It had crossed my mind, I'll admit, especially after the way she was with him in the dungeons. But I never really thought either of them would do that. She's so… boring. And he's so bloody proper. And he knocked her up!"

"Shush," Harry said, hurriedly checking that there were no portraits or paintings nearby. "Not so bloody loudly, Malfoy."

"I never knew he had it in him," Draco said, his face suddenly breaking into a grin. "I'm actually impressed. Although of course it was Granger who had it in her, technically."

Draco grinned again, as the look on Harry's face went from uncomfortable to completely horrified.

"I don't want to think about it," Harry said, trying desperately not to picture Snape all sweaty and horny over his best friend. _Ack._

"You're not at all impressed that somehow the miserable sod of Hogwarts managed to pull one of the prettiest girls in Gryffindor? Wonder how he managed it?"

"He saved her life," Harry said, conveniently forgetting that it was Draco she had been saved from. It was easier not to think about the Draco's evil side when they were this close.

"Ah, gratitude then," Draco said, nodding knowingly. "Mind you, you saved me from my father, and you don't see me offering to keep your bed warm."

Harry arched an eyebrow at Draco. "Some people are just ungrateful," Harry informed him archly.

"Do you want me to show you how grateful I am?" Draco said, his voice suddenly low and his eyes intense.

Harry swallowed hard. "That's exactly what I think you should do," he said in a whisper.

xxx

Hermione couldn't concentrate. She had actually given up adding ingredients to her potion about ten minutes earlier, when Severus had suddenly loomed over her desk and taken her hand in his, just as she was about to throw her Daisy stalks into the potion.

She had gulped at the intimate contact, her eyes searching his as he held her hand tightly in his, hovering over the cauldron.

"If you drop those stalks into your potion now, Miss Granger," he said quietly, "you will blow us all up. And while getting rid of you lot a few days earlier would be a definite benefit, I do not wish to spend my Christmas holidays in the Infirmary."

He had released her hand and waited for her to repeat the instructions to herself and realise that she had indeed nearly made a near catastrophic mistake. _Almost worthy of Neville Longbottom,_ he added to himself.

When her eyes widened in horror, he raised his eyebrows at her, mockingly.

"Tonight you will be scrubbing cauldrons," he snarled, turning away from her. "Tomorrow night, you will be brewing this potion for me, over and over again until I am convinced you can make it without putting the entire school in danger. Ten points from Gryffindor."

Hermione glowered half-heartedly at his back as he stalked back to his desk.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said, cringing a little. "I wasn't thinking – it won't happen again."

"Caffeine withdrawal doesn't seem to benefit your ability to concentrate, Miss Granger," Severus said, allowing himself a small superior smirk as he watched the look of shock and annoyance cloud her face. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then snapped it shut again.

_Just you wait until I get you alone, _Hermione promised him with his eyes. _Bastard! Evil, sadistic bastard!_

xxx

Hermione exchanged a puzzled look with Ron – Harry still hadn't arrived in the dining hall and lunch was nearly at an end. She looked down at her empty plate and took a second to marvel at the fact that she had somehow eaten so much. Lately she had been picking at her meals and when she did eat she usually brought it all back up again – today she had eaten everything on her plate and was somehow still starving.

"You're having _another _Yorkshire pudding?" Ron asked, his eyes wide. "Where are you putting it all? Even _I'm_ stuffed!"

"Never to stuffed for pudding though," Hermione observed as the bowls of treacle tart appeared in front of them and Ron's hand went straight for the large jugs of steaming custard.

"Well no," Ron said, ladling the custard into his bowl until it was nearly overflowing. "That would just be wrong."

"Where's Harry?" Ginny asked suddenly, sounding like she had been trying desperately to keep the question in for the last half hour.

"I was wondering that," Ron said, talking through a mouth of treacle tart and sending a small blob of custard flying across the table. "He's been acting really strangely recently."

"Ack, Ron!" Hermione said, screwing up her face. "If your mum could see you now…"

She laughed as Ron quickly looked around the room, as if expecting his mother to appear next to him at any moment to scold him for his table manners. As her laugh carried up to the head table, she dared to glance up there.

"Watch out, Snape's got his eye on you," Ron pointed out, following her gaze. "You'll be getting detention for adding too much custard to your treacle tart or something."

Hermione smiled in Ron's general direction, but kept her eyes on Severus. He looked amazing, as if all that time recovering had actually made him better than before he had even been kidnapped. He looked different, as if somehow the glower on his face couldn't quite cover the fact that he was… happy.

Severus pointedly narrowed his eyes at Hermione, then looked away. He still wasn't any closer to knowing what to say to her and was vaguely nervous. Which was ridiculous – Severus Snape did not _do_ nervous. Except here he was, his knee jigging up and down of its own accord, his fingers drumming on the table. If he carried on like this, he would be a nervous wreck before teatime.

Severus got to his feet and nodded to the Headmaster, before sweeping across the hall and stopping in front of Hermione's table.

"A word, Miss Granger," he said, his face expressionless. If he didn't talk to her now, he would be too distracted to take points away from the Gryffindor third years he was teaching after lunch. And that would just be wrong.

Hermione nodded and got to her feet. "Bring my bag to Transfiguration, will you Ron?" she called over her shoulder as she followed Severus out of the hall without waiting for a reply.

She followed Severus as he turned into an empty classroom, and nearly barreled into him as she found that he had stopped just inside the door.

"Professor," Hermione said, giving him a brief nod. She felt her mouth go dry and her heart speed up. Why was she so nervous?

"Miss Granger," Severus said, nodding back. He pushed the door closed and then stood leaning with his back against it as he looked at her.

Hermione looked up at him, something very close to panic rising up in her. All the time she had had him in her head hadn't made talking to him in person any less nerve-wracking. And what if he regretted talking to her the way he had? What if he had brought her here to tell her that it had all been a ridiculous mistake and he didn't want to talk to her outside Potions class ever again?

She watched as his enigmatic dark eyes took in everything about her, burning into her as they did and felt her cheeks flush. _Was he reading her mind? Could he sense the panic in her as she watched him?_

He carried on watching her, his expression thoughtful. _Say something, for God sake… there has to be something I can say and not sound like a complete idiot, _Hermione thought frantically.

"You took my coffee," Hermione protested suddenly, her voice weak. _Well, at least I said **something**_, she thought. _It has to be better than just standing here, staring at him like I'm one of Lockhart's adoring fans, and he's the blond, conceited, air-headed ex professor himself. _

He took a step towards her and she felt her limbs tremble at the nearness of him. She bit her lip and tore her eyes away from his in an effort to compose herself.

"I did?" Severus asked, with a small, knowing smile. "Now why would I do that?"

"Because you're evil." She shot him a halfhearted glower, then swallowed hard. God, she wanted to touch him.

"Yes," Severus acknowledged, his smile widening. "But as much as I understand the lure of caffeine on a morning, I don't think your baby appreciates it quite as much as you do."

"I only have…" she started.

"Six or seven cups," he interrupted with a knowing look. "Yes, I know."

_I watch you, _he added to himself with a guilty inner grimace.

"If I am going to give up my morning tea, you're going to give up your morning coffee," Hermione said decidedly, putting her hands on her hips.

"Am I really?" Severus said, one eyebrow raised mockingly. He knew that it would take something far more than a woman to make him give up his morning salvation-in-a-mug.

"Yes, you are," Hermione said, her voice adamant. "It's only fair."

Against her better judgment she looked quickly up at his face again. Her gaze landed on his mouth and she was hit with the almost desperate urge to kiss the mocking smile off Severus' face.

"I have never been a very fair man," Severus said, watching in fascination as her tongue darted out of her mouth to wet her bottom lip. "But I will consider it."

Maybe it wouldn't take something more than a woman to make him give his coffee up. God, she must really have bewitched him. Hormones, definitely his hormones. Except… wasn't it meant to be Hermione's hormones that made her do insane things, not his?

Bloody women get all the excuses.

"Are you… alright?" The question came out of Hermione's mouth almost shyly, as she watched him thinking. "It still hasn't quite sunk in that you're here."

_No, _he thought with a sigh. _I am decidedly not alright._

"I'm fine," Severus said, his voice gentle. He took another step closer to her and lifted his hand to her face, cupping her cheek in his palm. "More fine than you appear to be. You're not taking care of yourself properly."

I knew I should have washed my hair this morning. No wonder he hasn't kissed me yet. She pulled a face and tried desperately to slow her breathing to somewhere near normal. 

"I'm just a little tired," she said defensively. "It's not like I can take sleeping draughts at the moment." She wasn't going to tell him that at least part of her insomnia was down to her thinking about him constantly; wondering if he would ever wake up again.

"When you come and see me tonight, I'll find something to help you sleep," Severus said, his eyes searching hers. If he just leaned forward a little he could capture those trembling lips of hers with his and kiss her panic away. "I'll find something you can take away with you over Christmas."

"I'll probably be here over Christmas," Hermione said, her hand rising almost of its own accord and covering Severus' hand on her cheek with her own. She held his hand hard against her cheek, closing her eyes and fighting back the tears. God, she wanted him to hold her. She wanted to cling to him and touch him and make sure he was real and there to stay.

"Albus would have no problem letting you stay with your parents for the holidays," Severus said, frowning. "It's been a long time since you've seen them, I'm sure he would understand."

He was trying painfully hard not to lean in and kiss Hermione. She was clinging to his hand so tightly he almost believed that she might have meant the words she had mouthed to him in his storeroom all those weeks ago. Almost.

"Have you _seen_ me?" Hermione asked, her eyes opening and her grip relaxing on his hand. She brought Severus' hand down to touch her stomach through her robes.

Merlin… 

"You can't tell," Severus said, swallowing hard as Hermione pressed his hand to her stomach. "Not yet; not just looking at you."

His eyes widened as she slipped his hand through the parting of her robes. At a muttered word the Muggle clothes she was wearing seemed to disappear under his touch. She pressed his palm gently against the very noticeable swell of her stomach.

"My stomach is very obvious when it's not under all these layers, and my parents are somewhere far warmer than this," Hermione told him, watching as his face changed from unreadable to a look that could very easily be mistaken for awe. "I couldn't hide under my clothes and I can't perform glamours on myself while I'm pregnant."

"They're going to find out at some point," he said, letting his hand move slowly over her stomach as he felt how it had changed since he had last touched her. "You will need their support."

His baby. His baby was in there, making Hermione's stomach swollen and firm under his touch.   
"My baby," he whispered. He hadn't realised he'd spoken out loud until Hermione stepped closer to him, still holding his hand to her stomach.   
"Yes," Hermione said, tipping her face up to his, smiling. He'd finally stopped referring to the baby as 'the baby' or 'your baby'. "And you're not leaving again – you're going to be around to be it's father, even if I have to chain you to your bed permanently." 

"That plan in itself has merit," Severus said with a smirk. He lifted his hand from her stomach to cup her face again. He ran his thumb gently over her jaw as he slowly lowered his face to hers, his eyes dark as they stared first into her eyes and then focused on her mouth.

"If you don't kiss me soon, I'm going to explode," Hermione confessed, her voice trembling.

Severus' eyes darted up to meet Hermione's. "Now really Miss Granger, that's hardly appropriate, is it?"

"I like you best when you're inappropriate," Hermione said softly, reaching up so her lips were almost touching Severus'.

"Yes, I think I do too," he agreed. He moved closer, so his lips were finally touching hers. He paused before moving, lips barely brushing Hermione's and she bit back a growl of frustration.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked against her mouth, his hot breath making her lips tingle.

Hermione let out a whimper of frustration and lifted both her hands to tangle in Severus' hair. She held his head still as she kissed his lips over and over again, whimpering again when his control finally broke and he started to kiss her back, hard.

"This is insane," he half moaned against her mouth. He kissed his way down her jaw and along her neck, before gently nipping the base of it with his teeth. His bite turned into a rhythmic sucking that had Hermione moaning and grasping his robes tightly in her clenched fists. Severus knew that if this carried on much longer, his control would slip completely and he would end up taking her against the classroom door, heedless of the students and professors who could walk in at any moment.

Hermione's hand brushed against the front of his trousers and he gasped, closing his eyes.

"God, I missed you," Hermione whispered against Severus' ear, her voice shaking with emotion. She slid her hand inside his trousers and wrapped her hand around his hard cock. She reveled in his moan and the way his back arched, making him thrust almost unconsciously in her hand. She closed her eyes as his reaction sent a shiver through her entire body.

Strangely, Severus noted, it wasn't the way she touched him that broke him in the end, but the tremor in her voice as she had breathed the words into his ear. The way she spoke the words, as if having him back with her was the most important thing in the world, completely undid him.

He groaned and pulled her closer to his chest, cradling her face in one of his hands while letting his eyes burn into hers, questioning. Her eyes burned back into his, dark with passion and he brought his mouth to hers again, his other hand finding her breast and teasing Hermione's nipple until she groaned against his mouth.

God, he wanted to be inside her again. He wanted to strip her and explore every inch of her body. He wanted to watch her as she came apart underneath him. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to…

The sound of the bell ringing to signal the end of lunch and the beginning of the next class interrupted his thoughts and brought Severus far too quickly back to reality.

_Fuck._

He set Hermione gently away from him, quickly performing a charm to calm her mass of tangled hair. He straightened her clothes for her and looked at her face – the flushed cheeks, swollen mouth and the dark passion in her eyes he couldn't hide.

"No, no, no," Hermione groaned, letting him get rid of any evidence that they had been together.

"My sentiments exactly," Severus said, looking part amused and part frustrated. "I had forgotten where we were."

"Sod classes," she moaned. "Come back to my rooms with me."

Severus bit back a groan. _So tempting…_

"Succubus," he murmered accusingly, lowering his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, holding her tightly. Then he let go of her before pushing her into the corridor, waiting a few seconds and straightening his own clothes and hair before following her out.

_Thank Merlin for the invention of long robes,_ Severus thought, wryly. _That would certainly terrify the students into being quiet…_

xxx

"Bloody hell, that was close," Draco grumbled, climbing out from behind the heavy velvet curtains, running a hand through his hair to straighten it.

"I may never recover," Harry agreed, peering out from behind the same curtain, then climbing out too. "That was something I should never have had to see."

Draco grinned, walking to the door then turning around. "Hey Potter?"

"Yeah?" Harry asked, stopping in the search for his dropped wand to look up questioningly at Draco.

"Your flies are undone."

His grin widened at Harry's blush, then he opened the door he carried on down the hallway, looking more cheerful than he had in weeks.

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500 reviews! I'm so happy. I can't believe so many of you like this story :o)


	37. Chapter 37

Warning: I'm not sure this chapter adds to the plot in any way, shape or form. But it's fun. :o) (and has the added bonus that my boyfriend has promised to do to me anything that Severus does to Hermione in this chapter. :oD)

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"Slower, not like that. Use a gentle circling motion," Severus snapped. "You're never going to get the right results if you keep doing it like that."

He caught Hermione's eyes over the young Hufflepuff's head and shot her yet another apologetic look. Up until an hour ago, the students of Hogwarts had been behaving astonishingly well and he had been very confident that this evening it would be just him and Hermione alone in his classroom.

That was until a barrage of magical snowballs had pelted him from behind as he had been leaving the dining hall earlier in the evening. Two second year Gryffindors and astonishingly a first year Hufflepuff had been behind Severus' very wet and cold neck.

If it hadn't been completely against his character, he would have let them off with a large loss of points and a cutting reprimand. Except Albus had been watching him with that irritating raised eyebrow and that even more irritating knowing look, so he had been forced to do the right thing and find ways to torture and torment the students who had dared ruin his evening with Hermione.

"If you are going to waste my ingredients with your incompetent mixing, I will make you go out and find me some more in the Forbidden Forest, Miss Markland!" he snarled at the terrified looking Hufflepuff.

"Professor?" Hermione asked, looking up from her dicing. "I'm nearly done here. Is there anything else you want me to do?"

Severus looked at the neat dishes of chopped, diced and shredded ingredients on her table and tried to ignore the stab of guilt that went through him. She had done nothing to deserve this detention, yet she had saved him at least an hour's tedious work of chopping and sorting ingredients. And she had managed to do it nearly as meticulously and neatly as he usually did.

"There are a large amount of files in my office that need alphabetizing," he said, his voice cold. "I don't want you alone in there - I'll bring essays to grade while I make sure you're doing it properly."

He picked up some random papers off his desk, which _could_ have been papers to grade, but admittedly could quite as easily have been some of the porn he had confiscated from a Ravenclaw Fifth Year earlier in the day. Severus was past caring if anyone believed he was going to grade papers or not, if he didn't get to be alone with Hermione soon, he was going to resort to something drastic. He'd even caught himself starting to bite his nails earlier, a habit he hadn't indulged in since he was five years old and had been soundly whipped for. Anything that showed weakness had been frowned upon in his house.

In Severus' opinion it took Hermione far longer than necessary to get through the door and into his office. But once the door was closed and he had her standing so closely to him that he could smell her shampoo that smelled strangely of cinnamon and oranges, he was overcome with a nervousness that only Hermione seemed to be able to provoke in him.

"I'm sorry you had to perform detention tasks, when you hadn't actually committed any misdemeanor deserving of it," he apologised stiffly. "The students saw fit to pelt me with snowballs earlier and I couldn't let them escape unpunished."

"That's okay," Hermione said, with a careless shrug. "It was still more fun that being beaten at Wizards Chess by Ron for the eightieth time, which is what I would have been doing if I wasn't here. Bloody barbaric game."

"Hermione, you've fought in battles before, and done more than your fair share of bludgeoning and maiming the enemy," Severus pointed out with an affectionate shake of the head. "Yet enchanted chess pieces attacking each other is too violent for you?"

"You're not meant to understand me," Hermione pointed out absentmindedly. _God, his mouth is sexy. _"You're just meant to love me."

_I do. _Severus groaned out loud and pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her. He lowered his mouth to hers and started kissing her, almost desperately. He pulled her tightly to him, crushing her against his chest. His hands cupped her face and his fingers tangled in her hair.

"God, I want you," he moaned against her mouth. "I've been thinking about your mouth all bloody day."

"That's nothing," Hermione gasped against his mouth as his fingers brushed against the side of her breast. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

Hermione's heart pounded as he pulled away from her to look at her. Had she said something wrong?

"I don't know what I've done to deserve you," he said, caressing her bottom lip gently with his thumb as he looked at her. "But I'm not a good enough person to push you away, Hermione. I should, for your own good, but I don't think I can."

"If you think I'd _let_ you push me away, after all we've been through to get here, you've got another thing coming," Hermione declared heatedly. "So for my sanity _and_ yours, don't try."

Severus' warm chuckle was Hermione's complete undoing. She had been doing so well, not doing anything that would make Severus back off, but her restraint had suddenly snapped as his laugh had washed over her frazzled nerves.

She slid her hand through the gap in Severus' robes and under his shirt. She let her fingers run over the skin of his bare stomach, feeling how silky his bare skin was and lightly touching the soft hair that started just under his bellybutton.

"Hermione." He whispered her name, his eyes closing as her fingers touched and stroked their way upwards until they brushed against his nipple.

God, she loved the way he said her name.

"I want to make love to you," she whispered back, leaning up to kiss the warm skin of his neck. "I _need_ to make love to you."

Severus felt a shiver of _something_ go through him, and he bent down and caught her lips with his own. He kissed her passionately, possessively, wanting to tell her that she was his, and no one was ever allowed to touch her, or even look at her again. He pulled away and she whimpered in protest.

"Not here, not like this," Severus said, his voice rough.

"Like this?" Hermione asked, confused. What was wrong with what they were doing?

"Not on my office floor," he clarified, with a rueful grin. "As tempting as it is."

"There's always the desk…" Hermione's grin was cheeky and dirty all at the same time and Severus gave in to the temptation to kiss it off her beautiful face.

"Your first time was not as it should have been," Severus pointed out, breaking the kiss to hold Hermione close, letting his fingers run up and down her back and sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. "Your second time is not going to be on my office desk."

At Hermione's snort of laughter, Severus pulled back from her to shoot her a teasing smile. "Maybe your third time."

"You just don't want my arseprint in the middle of your nicely polished desk," Hermione pointed out. Then she turned her head to look at the desk and her eyes widened in shock.

"Bloody hell, I didn't think you of all people would be a slob!" Hermione exclaimed, actually pulling away from Severus to take in the sight of his incredibly cluttered desk. "If I took a picture of this and showed it to my friends, they still wouldn't believe you were capable of this. There wouldn't be _room_ for us to have sex on your desk!"

"I know where everything is," Severus said defensively. "It's organised clutter."

"Of course it is," she said, deliberately condescending. She stood on tiptoe to pat him on the head. "You just keep telling yourself that."

Severus gave an annoyed growl, before easily pinning her against the desk with his body. "I would take points from you for your insolence, but I'd much rather punish you this way."

Gasping after being thoroughly kissed to within an inch of her life, Hermione smiled up at him. "If that's punishment, I'm going to start misbehaving far more often," she informed him, leaning up to kiss him again.

"That, Miss Granger," Severus informed her, his voice sexy and low, "would be impossible. You couldn't get into any more trouble than you already do."

"How about past misdemeanors then?" Hermione asked, running her nails gently down his back. "You could punish me for those instead."

"There are too many to count," Severus pointed out, with a wry smile. He lifted her easily so that she was sitting on the edge of his desk, before moving so that he was standing in between her legs. "But I will try."

He kisses started out gentle and Hermione melted into him. She felt like she had turned to liquid in his arms, and for the first time in her life, she couldn't think – all she could do was feel. By the end of the kiss, both of them were breathing hard and clinging desperately to each other.

Severus shifted position as he stood between Hermione's legs and she moaned quietly as she felt him hard against her thigh.

"Are you sure sex on the desk would be an entirely bad thing?" she asked, hopefully.

"I had completely innocent plans for you this evening," Severus said, trying to slow his breathing and calm himself down.

_Albus, think of Albus. Naked. Eating Lemon Drops._

"_Completely_ innocent?" Hermione asked speculatively, with one eyebrow raised.

"Mostly innocent," he amended. "Give me a moment to get rid of those imbeciles in there and I will show you, if it's not too late in the evening. Are you tired?"

Hermione shook her head. Did he really think that after all this time, now that he was _finally_ acting like he gave a damn about her, that she would _ever_ want to sleep again? Sleeping would mean spending valuable hours and minutes away from him. And what if in that time he suddenly decided this was all a mistake?

Severus looked at her for a second, seemingly debating whether she was telling the truth or not. Then he nodded, as if coming to a decision, opened his office door and disappeared back into his classroom.

"Of course, sir! Never again, sir!" the voices of the younger students assured Severus desperately, as they sped past the office door and away from the dungeons as fast as their legs could carry them.

_Facing Voldemort would terrify them less,_ Hermione thought, wrapping her cloak tightly around her body as she watched them scurry away. _Maybe that's why he does it?_

Severus appeared next to her in the office doorway and took her hand. Wordlessly, he led her through the door to his chambers, through the living room and into his library. Hermione looked at him questioningly as he opened the door that led into the living room at his house and gestured her through.

She looked around the unchanged, soft, comfortable _perfect_ living room. It seemed like years since she had stood on it's soft carpet, telling Albus and Severus that there was no way she was going run away.

She found herself being taken through the hallway, through a door she had never even noticed before. Her eyes widened in pleased surprise as she took in the most perfect and exotic bathroom she had ever seen. Its walls seemed to be made of rough, grey stone; the kind that looked like it came from a ruined castle. One whole wall of the bathroom was taken up by a steaming hot waterfall, which was falling into a beautiful rock pool below. Beautiful, lush green plants were growing from the walls, giving the illusion that this really could be an outside courtyard in a ruined castle.

Taking up an entire corner of the bathroom was a giant, sunken stone bath. It was big enough to take at least six people comfortably and it was full of steaming water, covered by thick, fluffy, frothy bubbles. Water ran into the bath constantly from another, smaller waterfall, and Hermione watched in fascination as the bubbles churned and mixed in the water.

There was a stone sink with a mirror; the mirror was surrounded by something that Hermione guessed was hanging ivy. The room wasn't lit with actual lights, but when Hermione looked at the ceiling she gasped in surprise. As she looked up she was greeted with the perfect picture of the night sky, with the moon itself lighting the spectacular bathroom.

"If you need more light," Severus said, smiling at Hermione's amazed reaction, "You just point your wand at the ceiling and pick a different time of day. If left to it's own devices, it mirrors the sky as it is."

"It's beautiful," Hermione said, lifting her hand to the waterfall in the corner and letting the warm water run through her fingers.

"Yes," Severus agreed. "Now I want you to get into the bath and relax for a while, while I make us some supper."

Hermione gazed at Severus with a puzzled expression. "You want me to have a bath?"

_I really, really should have washed my hair this morning._

"I want you to relax," Severus said gently. He walked over to Hermione and started kneading her shoulders with his hands, making her moan and drop her head forwards onto her chest. "I haven't been making sure you were looking after yourself. That stops now."

"You've not been _here_ to do that," Hermione protested. "And I've been looking after myself just fine."

_Sort of,_ she added to herself with an inner grimace.

"You haven't been letting yourself relax and you haven't been eating or sleeping properly," Severus said gently, still massaging her shoulders. "I am aware that you have had your reasons, but just for now I want you to forget everything. I want you to close your eyes and relax your mind as well as your body. I'll look after you – you've got no need to worry about anything right now."

Hermione moaned again. Her knees nearly buckled underneath her as his fingers worked out a tight knot in the center of her shoulder blades. _God, so tempting…_

"Stop thinking, stop worrying. Nothing is going to happen to you – let me take all your worries for tonight at the very least," Severus said softly, pulling the robes off her shoulders and letting them pool around her feet. He slowly undressed her, stopping every few seconds to touch her; to stroke, massage and occasionally kiss her exposed skin.

Severus only let his eyes feast on her completely naked body for a few seconds, before scooping her easily up in his arms and lowering her gently into the warm bath.

"I'll be back in a second with something for you to drink," he told her, brushing a lock of hair back from her face.

Hermione sighed contentedly, letting the heat of the water soothe her tightly wound, aching muscles. As she rested her head against the side of the bath, she realised that what looked exactly like stone, was somehow soft and was gently cushioning her head as she let her body relax in the heavenly scented water.

She lazily opened her eyes as Severus re-entered the bathroom, carrying a champagne glass in one of his hands.

"It's just grape juice," he explained with a smile, as he placed it in her outstretched hand. "Alcohol and caffeine free."

Hermione contemplated sticking her tongue out at him as she lifted the glass of ice-cold juice to her lips. She closed her eyes as the sweet liquid trickled down her throat and decided to forgive him for the caffeine barb.

"I should be pampering you," Hermione pointed out, without any real conviction. No part of her wanted to get out of this bath now that she was in it. "You've only just come out of hospital."

"Some other time we can be pampered together," Severus said, his eyes on her breasts that were barely covered by the soapsuds. It was taking a huge amount of willpower not to get into that warm bath with her and offer to wash her from delectable head, to delectable toe.

"Come join me?" she asked lazily, seemingly reading his mind. She put her glass on a conveniently close by, flat stone, before giving him her very best imploring look.

"Don't tempt me," Severus said, his dark eyes burning into hers. "Or neither of us will be getting any food tonight."

"I'm less hungry for food, and more hungry for you," she confessed, feeling her cheeks colour as she heard herself speak. Somehow Severus brought out a side of her that she was barely aware she even had.

Hermione watched as Severus' eyes closed. He seemed to fight with himself for a few seconds, then he shook his head.

"Tonight is for you," he said, perching on the stone edge of the bath. "You are exhausted, Hermione."

Hermione looked at him carefully. Did he just not want her?

Severus' eyes narrowed. "I want you, Hermione. So much I can't think straight," he told her with a reprimanding glare. "Don't ever think that I don't."

Hermione bit her lip, not wholly believing him. Severus groaned and lifted one of her hands from the side of the bath. He lifted her hand to his lap and pressed her hand hard against his aching cock, that had been hard ever since he had started to undress her. He thrusted briefly against her hand and groaned again.

"Do you see what just looking at you does to me?" he whispered, looking into her eyes. "But I haven't waited all this time just to break you the moment I get to be near you again."

"I'm not that delicate, Severus," Hermione said, letting the palm of her hand stroke him through his trousers.

"Are you going to that ridiculous Christmas costume ball?" Severus asked, putting his hand over hers to still her actions. He couldn't think straight with her touching him like that.

Hermione pulled a face. "I have to," she said with a grimace. "I'm head girl."

"After the dance, come back here and let me show you how your first time should have been," he said. "Let me make you come apart in my arms, let me touch you and taste you until you are begging for more, let me show you…"

…_how much I love you._

"Are you going?" Hermione asked hesitantly. "Are you chaperoning this year?"

Severus flashed Hermione a brief smug grin. "I got out of that dubious pleasure this year," he admitted. "But I will still have to spend an hour or so there – Headmaster's orders."

_And of course I will spend that hour making sure the student's don't have **too**__much fun… _he added to himself with an inner smirk. A lot of his apparent hatred of the students had been exaggerated to add to his Death Eater, bastard of Hogwarts persona, but a lot of it was just, well, fun.

Making the students miserable may have the added bonus of making Albus regret his mule-like perseverance in making me show my face at the bloody Christmas ball, Severus thought. Ridiculous ball. Just an excuse for people to grope each other under the pretence of 'dancing'.

He had been scheduled by Albus to be chaperoning the dance all night; a possible attempt by the headmaster to make him 'enjoy life', as he so often told him he should do. The same day Severus had been given the hideous job of chaperone, he had blackmailed Filius into taking his place, quietly hinting that he would tell rest of the staff about his rather worrying collection of thongs if he didn't comply. Filius would have done it as a favour anyway of course, but Severus hated being in anyone's debt and the panicked look on his fellow professor's face had made the halfhearted blackmail even more amusing.

"Do you have a date for the ball?" Severus asked, hating himself for asking, but needing to know anyway. He wasn't sure exactly what he would do to whichever unfortunate boy Hermione was taking, but he was sure it would be something incredibly nasty and painful.

"Yes," Hermione said, with a grin.

Years of keeping his emotions tightly reined while in the presence of Voldemort served him well as he merely nodded, his face blank. He Summoned a sponge and some liquid soap from a stone shelf underneath the sink. He had brewed it especially with Hermione in mind, along with the bath oils she was currently soaking in. They were meant to relax, soothe, and promote sleep.

He gestured for Hermione to sit up in the bath, then he ran the sponge under the warm water of the waterfall and covered it in a creamy, sweet smelling soap. He leant forward and lifted the wet tendrils of hair from Hermione's neck and put them over her shoulder, out of the way.

_Of course she would be going to the ball with someone,_ he thought, squeezing the sponge a little too hard, making the carefully brewed soap ooze out of it and fall with a 'plop' into the bath. _Why wouldn't she? She didn't even know I was well again until today. And it's not like she could go with me, even if she wanted to._

So why did it rattle him so much that she was going with someone else? To a function he thought juvenile and pointless?

At the first long, firm swipe of the sponge, from the top of her back to the bottom, Hermione groaned and leaned further forward in the water, letting her hair trail in the water in front of her. _Heaven…_

"Aren't you going to ask who my date for the ball is?" Hermione asked, loving the feeling of her slightly rough sponge on the skin of her back. She arched her back, drawing Severus' attention to her breasts as the water ran in rivulets over and off them.

"No," he said, shortly. Sod keeping his feelings hidden, she was _his_ witch and he was going to let everybody know that. He was going to tell everyone – screw his job, his reputation and his haven at Hogwarts – he was going to announce it to the world.

Except she wasn't his witch, was she? Just because they'd had sex once and that had resulted in a child, didn't automatically mean Hermione was bound to him for life. She seemed like she cared about him, but did she really? It had been a couple of months since he had even touched her, before this day. And a month since they had really had a conversation. Had she changed her mind? And now she was going to the sodding ball with…

"Ginny Weasley," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "I'm going with Ginny."

Severus raised an eyebrow. The Christmas dances were notoriously romantic affairs. Relationships were sealed or broken on those ridiculously frivolous nights, and Hermione was taking _Ginny Weasley_?

_I didn't know Ginny was a Witch's Witch,_ he thought to himself with a smirk. _That explains why she liked Potter so much – I always thought he was a little on the feminine side…_

"We're going as _friends_," Hermione said, shaking her head in an exasperated way. "We were fed up of all the politics that go along with having dates for the balls at Hogwarts, so we decided to be each other's dates."

The hand with the sponge moved slowly over Hermione's shoulder and started moving in slow, wide circles over her breasts. Hermione leaned back on her hands and threw her head back, letting her hair trail in the water again as she closed her eyes and let Severus completely take over her senses.

When the sponge started to get lower on her body, Hermione automatically opened her legs and raised herself out of the water. She whimpered in protest as the sponge was suddenly taken away. She opened her eyes to glare accusingly at Severus, then they snapped shut again as she suddenly felt his slippery, soap covered fingers sliding between her legs.

"Fuck," she gasped, drawing in a quick breath at the feel of his hand sliding against her over and over again. She spread her legs even wider and balanced on one hand to run a soapy hand of her own over her breast, flicking the nipple with her thumb.

"You're supposed to be relaxing," Severus murmured in her ear. "And you're not looking at all relaxed right now."

"Get in here and fuck me," Hermione demanded, groaning and bucking her hips against his hand.

"Not for another three days," Severus said, his silky voice sending a heat through her body that pooled between her legs and made her move harder against his hand. "Patience is a virtue, my dear Hermione."

Hermione muttered something that sounded very like _'bastard'_ and Severus chuckled.

"I have a compromise," he told her, sliding a slippery finger into her and making her gasp. "But you have to promise to lie there, like a good girl, and let me be in control."

Hermione moaned. "God, yes."

Severus quirked an eyebrow and decided to file that reaction for pondering on later. Maybe Hermione would enjoy maybe being tied to his bed one night? God, he'd give anything to take his hand to that luscious arse of hers and make it flushed and tingling, before bending her over his bed and screwing her senseless from behind, his hands on her breasts as she gasped with each thrust.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his thoughts. He had vowed to wait and he wasn't going to let his fantasising break him so easily.

With a flick of his wand, he was naked. He gave a smirk as Hermione opened her eyes and gasped. Her eyes roamed over his body, taking in his state of arousal, before flicking to his face, questioning him.

Severus stepped into the bath and dropped to his knees. He moved closer to Hermione, kneeling in the water between her open legs. Hermione reached out a hand to touch him and he moved slightly away, shaking his head.

"Ah-ah, Hermione," he said, with a smile. "No touching. Now lie still and move your hands to either side of the bath."

He watched her as she leaned her head back against the cushioned back of the bath, and stretched her arms out to grip either side.

"If you let go of the sides at any point, I will stop," he warned, taking an ankle in each hand and moving them even further apart. At a quickly spoken word, her ankles seemed to be tied with invisible bonds, holding her so that her arse was just out of the water.

"Comfortable?" he asked, running one long, elegant finger from her ankle to the very top of the inside of her thigh.

At Hermione's nod, he let himself explore her skin, first with his fingers and then with his mouth. When he finally let his fingers slide inside her again, he watched as her fingers gripped the sides of the bath so hard her knuckles briefly turned white. When he bent his head and started fucking her with his tongue, he was sure that if this was a normal bath, she could have snapped the sides without much more effort.

He fucked her with his tongue, occasionally moving his tongue down to move against her arse, making her hips jerk upwards and a gasp come from her mouth. He still hadn't let his tongue or fingers touch her where she needed to be touched, and he vaguely wondered how long it would take to start her begging. But God, she was responsive, and she tasted so good. He found he wanted to make her come as much for himself as for her. He wanted her gasping and whimpering under his tongue.

His tongue moved upwards and started moving in firm circling motions. The moan that came from Hermione was so full of need that Severus nearly threw away all his good intentions and scooped her out of the bath to screw her on the warm, mossy stone floor.

It took all his willpower to keep moving his tongue against her, stroking her thighs and stomach with his hands as he did. God, he loved the noises she was making; the little frantic whimpers and moans.

When she came, Severus held his tongue hard against her, moving minutely, letting every aftershock go through her, before he gently lowered her back into the water and reached for her hands to unclasp them from the sides of the bath. He scooped her limp body up in his arms and cradled it against his chest as he sat back in the water with her.

"I'm relaxed now," the sleepy, half dazed voice came from his chest.

He laughed and held her more tightly. "I'm glad."

Hermione lifted her head enough to plant a light kiss on his chest before burrowing closer, clinging to him.

"I'm glad you're not dead," she informed him, her voice slightly slurred with tiredness. "Very glad, in fact."

Severus laughed again, a sound which Hermione decided she hadn't heard enough. God, he had a sexy laugh.

"Lie here a second, and don't fall asleep," he said, lifting her from his lap and settling her next to him. He stood up, the water running down his body, as Hermione watched in fascination.

_If only I had the energy to explore that body, _Hermione thought, trying to keep her head up and her eyes open. When had she become so tired? Usually it took hours of reading and then tossing and turning to get her to sleep.

Severus was back, seconds later, fully dried and dressed in a fluffy white, toweling dressing gown – the kind Hermione had seen in expensive hotels and had secretly longed to steal and hide in her suitcase.

He had an insanely large towel in his arms, and he put it on a rock before reaching down to grasp Hermione's hands and pull her to her feet. He helped her climb out of the bath, and then pushed her gently so she was perched on the stone edge of it. Then he proceeded to dry every inch of her before wrapping her in another smaller, identical dressing gown.

Then he scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the bathroom and carefully up the stairs into his bedroom. He pulled the thick, velvety covers back and placed her gently onto the bed, pulling the heavy covers back over her.

"Hungry?" he asked, gently, brushing a damp lock of hair from her face and letting his fingers trail over the soft skin of her cheek.

"I doubt I could stay awake to eat," Hermione said, with an apologetic smile.

"Try," Severus said, placing a plate of biscuits and cheese next to her on the bed, along with a small bowl of perfect looking grapes. "Just have a few bites."

By the time Hermione had polished off at least half of the food she was almost asleep. After promising Hermione on pain of death that he would eat the rest, he reached under the covers to untie the dressing gown belt, and pulled it off her shoulders. When she was finally naked, with the cool, soft texture of the sheets against her skin, she lay back against the pillows and smiled.

"So tired," she muttered, half asleep already.

"Sleep," he said, taking the plate from the bed and forcing himself to eat the rest of the crackers, before he too could get into bed.

"Love you," she murmered, before sleep finally overtook her.

Severus closed his eyes, as if in pain. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss against Hermione's forehead.

"Goodnight Hermione," he whispered into her hair. Then he walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled back the sheets.

"Nox," he said, with a wave of his hand, plunging the room into darkness. He dropped his dressing gown to the floor and slid between the cool sheets. He turned on his side and smiled, able to relax for the first time since he had woken, now that Hermione was close enough for him to know she was safe.


	38. A message

Hey,

This isn't an update (:oS Sorry), this is just a message to tell you that I've given up on getting back into this story for the foreseeable future. I am going to put a warning on the first page of the story, so people don't get into it before they realise.

Before I can finish I need to fix the millions of mistakes I've found in earlier chapters while reading it over to try to get back into it. Right now I'd rather work on the other HG/SS story that's plaguing me, instead of trying to sort out all the bits of this that I don't like.

My story writing has improved over the last year or so, and the experience of writing this and getting everyone's amazing reviews was fantastic.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, and I'm really sorry for deserting this. If I ever do re-write (with a beta), I can e-mail people to let them know.

Thanks again,

Kirsty

xXx


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